((Chapter three is finally here! Sorry for the delay; I had a long sleepover a few days ago, and yesterday I just didn't feel like writing. orz It's also pretty short. I know things have been kind of boring for the past three chapters but hopefully within a chapter or two it'll get more exciting! Also, for the record, I made up Kiku's P name. I wanted the title to sound like a Manbo-P or Hobonichi-P song. I'm almost tempted to write it myself. xD And on the subject of Vocaloid, a quick nod to Owata-P, one of my favorite producers. This story was more than a little influenced by Magical Kitty Len Len.))

Alfred lay on his bed, playing some game on his PSP while rock music played loudly in the background. Suddenly he saw a bright light, causing him to jump.

"Dude, what the hell?! Mattie! You made me lose the race!" he shouted.

"Did you say something?" Matthew called innocently from the kitchen. Alfred ran over there.

"Yeah! What was the deal with that light? I was about to get first!"

"What light?" Matthew asked, oblivious.

"Huh? You mean that wasn't you?" Alfred said hesitantly, suspicious.

"No, I don't know what you're talking about, sorry," Matthew replied. Alfred's eyes went wide.

"Oh, hell… Mattie, what if we've got a ghost?" he whispered, quite serious for once.

"The house isn't that old, eh?" Matthew pointed out. "I'm sure there's nothing to worry about."

Just then they heard a high-pitched shriek coming from Alfred's room. Alfred screamed and jumped behind the counter.

"IT'S THE GHOST! SHIT! IT'S GOING TO KILL US ALL!" he cried, terrified.

"Al, calm down!" Matthew shouted. "It might have-" Suddenly he stopped, listening carefully.

"Mattie?! Are you ok?!" Alfred demanded.

"Listen… Do you hear that?" Matthew whispered. Frowning, Alfred stopped and listened for a moment. Sure enough, he heard shouting down the hall.

"…kind of horrible person just leaves Legos lying around like that?! God, my beautiful foot! Am I bleeding?!"

"Shut the fuck up! You're fine, now shut up before he hears us!"

"But my foot! My beautiful, beautiful foot! The paaaaain!"

"It's just some Legos, you baby! Man up, would you?!"

"Hey! Who are you and what are you doing in my house?!" Alfred demanded, having reached his bedroom. The two men immediately froze.

"Um… LOOK! A DISTRACTION!" one of them shouted, pointing behind Alfred.

"WHERE?!"

As Alfred turned to look, the man delivered a well-placed blow to the back of his head, instantly knocking him out.

"Bloody hell, Francis, you almost got us caught," Arthur mumbled, glaring at the man beside him.

"Oh, just hurry up and do the spell before he wakes up," Francis replied. Arthur rolled his eyes and mumbled something under his breath.

He reluctantly closed his eyes and took a deep breath, placing one hand on the unconscious American's forehead. The room suddenly became windy and filled with light. After a moment, the wind and light faded, and Arthur let out his breath and removed his hand from Alfred's head.

"Now then, let's get out of here before-"

"D-don't move!" shouted a shy voice. Arthur looked up to find a nervous-looking boy with wispy blonde hair pointing a gun at them, his hands shaking.

"I thought you said he lived alone!" Francis shouted, giving Arthur a panicked glance.

"I thought he did!" Arthur insisted.

"Then who the hell is this kid?!"

"M-m-my name is M-Matthew Jones," the boy stammered, giving them a determined yet scared look. "I l-live here too, and um… P-please don't knock out m-my brother! Please leave!"

"Well you're awfully polite about pointing a gun at us," Francis commented.

"That doesn't mean I w-won't use it!" Matthew insisted.

"Relax, we're not here to hurt you," Arthur said, slowly putting his hands up.

"I find that hard to believe considering you just k-knocked out Alfred!"

"He does have a point, you know," Francis pointed out.

"Shut it, frog, you're not helping!" Arthur snapped. He sighed and turned to Matthew. "Look, I know it seems strange, but I can explain-"

"Wait a minute, Arthur, do we have a Canada yet?" Francis interrupted.

"No, but I really don't think that matters right now," Arthur replied.

"Well then do the thing!"

"But he's American!"

"So?! It's the same thing, isn't it? I mean, Canada is in North America!"

"You dumbass, that doesn't make it the same country!"

"H-hey! I can hear you, you know!" Matthew pointed out.

"See? We don't have a choice," Francis insisted. Arthur sighed.

"Fine, but if this goes wrong, I'm blaming you." Before Matthew had a chance to react, Arthur repeated the same spell he had used on Alfred.

"…Wh… wha… eh?!" Matthew stammered, stunned.

"Look, I'll explain tomorrow, alright? We have to run," Arthur said. "Your brother will be fine, so don't worry. And, uh… Tell him to clean up those Legos before someone kills themselves on them," he added awkwardly.

Matthew said nothing, simply standing there in shock. Taking that as a good sign (or not, but it was something), he waved his ridiculously stupid-looking wand and the two of them disappeared in a flash of light.

Kiku lay on his futon, sleeping soundly. His mouth was open slightly in a gentle smile, his inky black hair blowing slightly in the draft.

"Alright, now don't do anything stupid this time," Arthur whispered, carefully tiptoeing into the room.

"Of course," Francis replied, winking. Arthur rolled his eyes and continued walking, stopping and kneeling down by the sleeping boy. Without noticing it, the tip of his wing brushed his foot, tickling the boy in his sleep.

"Pochi-chan, yamete," Kiku mumbled, rolling over.

Arthur froze, exchanging oh-shit looks with Francis. The two of them were silent for a moment, not even daring to breathe for fear of waking him up. After a while, when they were satisfied that he was indeed asleep, they resumed their task. Arthur placed his hand on Kiku's forehead, performing the same spell he had done on the other three.

Just when they thought they could get away without conflict, Kiku's eyes snapped open, woken up by the bright light. He immediately reached for the knife under his pillow.

"Who are you, and why have you invaded my home?!" he demanded, glaring and holding up the knife.

"C-calm down, we're not here to hurt you or rob you or anything," Arthur explained hastily. Kiku's eyes widened as he looked at him.

"You are… the angel Feliciano-kun saw," Kiku said quietly, shocked.

"I am NOT a bloody angel," Arthur insisted, resisting the urge to strangle the Japanese boy. Francis simply laughed.

"But… You ARE the new counselor, aren't you?" Kiku asked confusedly.

"Uh, well, that much is true at least," Arthur admitted. "But I can explain-"

"Please leave," Kiku interrupted, in a way that clearly meant "Get the hell out of my house or else".

"I think we'd better go," Francis agreed, not wanting to suffer any more injuries.

"Fine," Arthur replied. With a wave of his wand, the two of them disappeared.

Kiku sat there for a moment, stunned. After a while, he took out his phone and began writing.

My School Counselor is a Criminal Angel from England

By Technorogy-P

"Alright, this should be the last one," Arthur whispered. Francis nodded, and the two of them slowly opened to door to the room in front of them.

They were immediately met with a gun pointed directly at them.

"Don't move," Ludwig ordered with a glare, his grip on the gun unwavering.

"How the hell did all you kids manage to get guns with Japan's crazy gun laws?! And you're minors, for God's sake!" Arthur exclaimed.

"You know, I was wondering that," Francis agreed, frowning thoughtfully.

"I think you should be less concerned with how I got the gun and more with the fact that I'm pointing it at you," Ludwig pointed out.

"Uh, right," Arthur said awkwardly. He slowly put his hands up. Francis did the same.

"Now, both of you get out," Ludwig commanded, still pointing the gun at them.

"Of course," Arthur mumbled, turning to leave.

"Sorry for disturbing you," Francis said cheerfully, turning back and kicking Ludwig in the face. Taken by surprised, Ludwig fell over, dropping his gun.

"Not bad, frog," Arthur commented, quickly performing the spell. "Now let's get the hell out of here."

"You bastards! Don't think you can just get away with… er… Whatever you just did!" Ludwig insisted, but they were already gone. Swearing under his breath, he stood up. Since he assumed he would not be sleeping much that night, he went to make some coffee. Just as he began measuring the coffee, he heard frantic knocking on the front door.

"Ludwig-san! I am terribly sorry to bother you at this hour, but we need to talk!" Kiku called from outside. Ludwig sighed and went to get the door.

It was going to be a long night.