Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek or its characters..or Robespierre/French Revolution or Asian Kung Fu Generation..i just own my characters
I don't own any of Vienna Teng's songs..or their lyrics..or Neon Genesis Evangelion (i wish.. . )

Chapter 7: Kioku no Kakera (Memory of Shards)

How could Tomoyuki even propose something like that after what she felt and went through with it? Was that all a dream? Did all those years change her beloved brother who now seemed crueler to her? Or was he always a pompous ass and just couldn't see it? But maybe age revealed it more but she refused to believe that her childhood was a dream. All those things happened for a reason. Everything had a reason and a equal consequence. Things, all things should be that way even for Natsumi.

Oh speaking of which...She hurried back to the computers and asked it simply hoping, keeping her fingers crossed. "Can you locate Natsumi?" The computer took its sweet time to answer and it annoyed her only not frustrated her because Tomoyuki had done all that. She was beyond her tears now and couldn't afford to cry anymore.

Tears were unacceptable.

"She is in sickbay." A voice she greeted happily.

"Arigato!" She exclaimed dashing again scaring the people and personnel in her way thinking only about Natsumi and not herself anymore. This wasn't about her anymore.

She entered sickbay expecting to be surprised by something but she peered farther in seeing Data by a table standing over it with Dr. Crusher. Natsumi? Her mind peaked with curiosity and she went on her tippy toes approaching the table unnoticed by the medical personnel and quietly snuck up behind the android. He couldn't of seen her..could he..?

"Miss Tomiko could you please not hide?"

She cursed under her breath and jumped out wildly to only get hushed by Dr. Crusher who was doing tests on Natsumi who too was laid down with her eyes closed. Tomiko wondered if those eyes weren't a reminiscent of before. "Whats up with you Data-dono?" She asked with a smile as if the few hours were nothing to her and never existed. She had put Tomoyuki out of her mind for the good of her mood. She knew if she saw him again, she would punch him or worse...but now..she could ravel in this glorious feeling.as to seeing Natsumi there still as a lamb..or however the phrase went.

"'What is up?' What does this phrase mean?" He was greatly puzzled and twitched his head to the sides. She chuckled enjoying that child's naïveté so she explained him that it was a kind of informal greeting between friends which meant how was your day? He responded positively to that but he got cut off as Dr. Crusher addressed them both.

She told them that the tests were over and Natsumi could go and the results would take a few hours to complete.

Tomiko sighed but stayed in her spot almost afraid too of getting Natsumi and seeing her eyes. Those eyes that were so hurtful and reminded her of her own sorrow. Funny how things could be so easily transmitted from one person to another just without no regard to that person's feelings. How could she get upset again by the thought of Tomoyuki? He was her brother afterall but he was asking such impossible things that he knew she could never once again go through. Maybe..

"Miss Tomiko?"

"Huh?" She snapped out of the daze and stared into Data's golden eyes unable to remember too much but seeing him there gave her brain a jump start. She had a full memory intact. She was onboard the starship Enterprise...

"Are you all right?"

"Yes I am. I was just..thinking..well..where were we?" She chimed in happily placing her hands on her cheeks and forcing a smile to appear. He look unconvinced but proceeded onward. He picked up Natsumi who had her eyes still closed and appeared sleeping but it fooled no one. The little girl was just using that as a false pretense. Maybe inside, Natsumi was laughing at her but for what?

She shook her head trying to remove the disgust from her lips so instead of facing him, she quickly covered her mouth with her hands but she didn't have long to hide because he was near the doors and left. She dashed after him following closely behind. Data was talking to Natsumi and Natsumi was responding back in a very curious child like tone of a 6 year old. Tomiko desired so much to look into Natsumi's eyes, to feel her again but was fearful on what she could find in that little child.

Would Natsumi allow her?

"Do you wish to speak to Natsumi?" Data asked unexpectedly nearing his quarters. She frowned trying her best to form the words that she would respond back to him.

"If she.."

He then took that as a yes and very low voice, whispered something to Natsumi who jumped down from his arms as he stopped suddenly.

Tomiko crossed her arms and waited halting a few meters behind him maintaining her space. Natsumi revealed herself to Tomiko coming very close smiling very lightly and a painful reminder stretched across her chest. Her heart then she unexpectedly faltered looking away not desiring to see that rejection burn in the child's face.

She couldn't of just stared like that. It would of been really rude and she would of been found out to be really strange. Not something that she wanted to be known on the entire starship but what happened at Ten-Forward could of already spread. But maybe it wasn't her reputation she felt that would get sully..

"Data-dono, aren't you going to help me on that scan thingy that you were ordered earlier?" She replied with fierce coldness letting it drip down her eyelids to her cheeks not glimpsing at the puzzled expression of Data. He was a machine. Why didn't he answer a yes to make this uneasiness go away! DAMN HIM! She screamed in her mind almost throwing a fit.

DAMN IT! It wasn't fair..

She closed her mind up and swiftly went passed them making it alone to his quarters but they were close behind and she made sure not to establish any eye contact with Natsumi as she entered the room with Data. Tomiko posted herself outside slamming her body against the wall. Her back to the wall with her heart throbbing with pain.

The doors were closed and no people were in the corridors so it suited her needs almost to cry. She felt like shit..the true definition of shit. These things shouldn't be this bad. Why then?

The doors suddenly slid open and Data came out with Natsumi who was now dressed in a cute little navy blue dress with ribbons adorning her pigtails but despite this cuteness..Tomiko ignored it viciously countering on the child by pushing her aside only to feel herself a sting of that smooth touch. Not human again. No real questions passed through her mind.

Did she need to be reminded of that fact?

It must of felt peachy to be..all that..to be without emotions and still she didn't believe that her life revolved around these emotions. She kept safe. Emotions were there for people to manipulate them, weaving a string.

Not feeling truly anymore.

"Data-dono..I believe that you now owe me your full attention-"

"Yes I do, do I not Miss Tomiko but why-?"

"Never mind. Let us drop her off somewhere.."

"Why don't you want to talk to me?" Natsumi squeaked and Tomiko lowered her head even more dejected. "Aren't you that woman that was in that sick place? Didn't you find me?"

"I did and I regret it." She whispered as her hair landed in her face and hid her true expression.

"Why!"

"Forget it kid..just shut your mouth and be good for us. I don't want to hear it from you."

Natsumi gulped it down and nodded. Data stepped forward. He didn't get involved. He stayed on the sidelines watching carefully. Maybe he was trying to take in all that said, just listening by other people's experiences. Tomiko was no one a great model to learn from nor teach from. She had all sorts of things wrong with her but he with those searching eyes made it clear that he wanted to learn. She sighed relieving herself. Then she heard Picard's voice and she was once again thinking of her dad. (Boy did they sound alike!) but he was addressing Data and her name along with the child called 'the child' was to be met at the observational lounge. Didn't Picard say that he had another matter to deal with so why did he care about this? Did Natsumi do as damage to anything?

Could there be a way to get home? Wait! Her blood suddenly went cold. Would Tomoyuki be there? Her mind was paralyzed and so was her entire body. She didn't go when Data said they had to. He urged her harder but she resisted breaking out in tears. She quietly wiped them away after a few moments crying in front of him. She wasn't ashamed when she was here with him. He wasn't even human. So he could never understand and besides that..he couldn't comfort her. That was the worse feeling in the entire world.

She sighed again.

"I guess. Then..."

He nodded and she tagged behind. If something was indeed behind her feelings then so was her..heart..that was now buried away...far away. Back on Earth. It continued to beat.