"Phil... What happened to your stomach?"
"What are you talking about?" Phil said immediately, his face becoming expressionless as he pulled down his shirt. "There's nothing wrong. Now come on, let's go have lunch." He said monotonously, a guarded look coming onto his face as he took a step away from Dan. He didn't want to do it. He didn't want to have that conversation right then. He didn't want to have it at all because he knew it'd end up in an argument or something. But, Dan had noticed, and Phil knew the boy wouldn't give up without an answer.
"Phil." Dan said, a serious tone in his voice as he stood up. Phil gulped nervously and took another step away, flinching as Dan followed him. He tried to tell him it was okay, he was fine, really. He made up excuses, but Dan just kept coming closer silently, until Phil's back was pressed against the wall. He was trapped. Dan was taking slow steps closer and Phil was so scared. Dan was going to hate him when he found out. He just knew it! Nobody wanted a weak boy who couldn't even defend themselves against their own father. He couldn't let this happen. He couldn't live without Dan now!
"N-No Dan! I'm fine!" He said shakily, looking utterly terrified as he pressed himself firmly against the wall, not caring about the splinters, because he really just wanted to get as far away from Dan as possible. The brunette seemed a bit sad at how frightened Phil was, but he just couldn't help it. Everyone left him. Dan had even left him before! He was alone. Nobody wanted him. He shouldn't even exist.
Dan was in front of him within seconds, leaving Phil to stare at him with wide eyes as his body shook uncontrollably. "Don't you dare lie to me..." Dan said, in a deathly quiet voice. Phil whimpered, his body shaking more and more. He could just tell by the look on Dan's face he was angry. Phil'd be much less afraid if Dan just yelled at him, or cried, or something! Instead, he had a blank expression on his face, his eyes burning as the small room filled with the sound of Phil's quick breathing and rattling bones. And then, Dan's fingers were quietly sliding his shirt over his hips, then up his stomach.
The change was instantaneous. Dan's face filled with rage, and his body shook as well, though from anger, rather than fear. Phil whimpered again and squeezed his eyes shut, preparing to run, to hide, to get as far away from Dan as it took, to be chased by the police, because surely Dan would tell them about Phil's sexuality.
"Who did this to you?" Dan growled, making Phil flutter his eyes open and whimper yet again. He shook his head, tears filling his eyes as Dan's fingers trailed over his black and blue stomach. It would have felt nice, those feather-soft touches across his stomach, if his bruises hadn't been incredibly sensitive and painful. "Who, Phil?" Dan asked, roughly grabbing Phil's arm as he refused to answer. The pale boy whimpered as pain spread throughout his arm, his cuts still sore, and Dan was just making them worse by gripping them so tightly. "Phil?" Dan asked, his eyes going wide. "Take off your jumper." Dan ordered, making Phil whimper again and shake his head.
"I-I can't..." Phil whispered, flinching away from Dan as the brunette gave him a look. It was a serious and dark look, one that told Phil he wasn't joking, so, reluctantly, he pushed Dan's fingers away and slowly started taking off the jumper. "Don't... Don't hate me..." Phil whispered as he pulled the jumper off completely, exposing his battered torso and cut arms. "Please don't Dan... I love you... Don't leave me for this..." He sobbed, and Dan gave him another blank look as he ran over every visible mark.
"Why would I leave you?" Dan asked quietly, his tone suggesting that he thought it was the simplest question in the world, whereas to Phil, there were a million- no a billion- different answers. The boy just whimpered as fingers ran all over him, and started crying again as he was turned around, a loud gasp filling the room. He couldn't move around enough to see his back, but he suspected it was quite bad, seeing as how much it hurt, and how much it surprised Dan.
"I'm weak..." Phil whispered, as marks were clearly traced into his skin. It felt horrible, even when Dan's fingers were barely grazing the skin. "Of course you wouldn't want me..." He sobbed, making Dan turn him around again, and take his cheeks into his hands. His face was sore, but luckily his father never hit it that bad for fear of his neighbours seeing, or someone else who would call child protective services. That's why make up could effectively cover all the marks on his pale skin.
"Of course I want you Phil." Dan whispered, a pained look on his face as he rubbed Phil's cheeks with his thumbs. "It doesn't matter if you were weak or afraid. You shouldn't have to be strong or brave, no one should lay a hand on you like this. Frankly, I couldn't care less if you were scared of your own shadow, or couldn't even lift a teaspoon. I love you. I love you for being Phil. I love all of you." Dan was so utterly perfect, wasn't he? Phil was so sure he would leave once he saw the marks, once he realised that he wasn't good enough, that he was the most imperfect being in the whole entire world. But Dan stayed. Dan loved him. And that was really all that mattered, right? "Besides, I don't think I could defend myself from someone as strong as the person who gave you these marks. I probably would have cried and screamed."
"I did." Phil replied, looking down at the ground in shame. "I cried and screamed and begged for it to stop. I begged for my life. And then, when it was given to me, I tried to throw it away. Obviously, I didn't though. You caught me just in time. When you rung I... I was about to..." Phil stuttered, starting to cry again as he remembered how he welcomed death onto his doorstep, how death had almost taken a step inside. But Dan saved him, like always. He was such a horrible idiot. He was a freak. He shouldn't exist, but he did.
"Phil..." Dan whispered, tears filling his eyes as well, making said boy realise just how much he'd effected his boyfriend. "You tried to… Commit suicide… Didn't you?" Dan asked shakily, his lips trembling. Phil whimpered and nodded, quickly burying his face in Dan's neck in utter shame. He was such an idiot. How could he do this to Dan, his perfect, wonderful boyfriend? It wasn't fair! Dan deserved someone better. He deserved someone who wasn't broken. Someone who was just as perfect as he was. Dan deserved everything. Phil'd never met a nicer person, a funnier, or more gorgeous person, inside and out. Phil just didn't deserve him at all.
"I'm so sorry Dan" Phil sobbed, clutching onto Dan's shirt painfully. His hands were kind of sore, probably from being battered away as Phil begged for mercy, or solace, or really just anything for the pain to stop."I'm such a horrible person. You deserve someone better than me! You deserve a pretty girl that you can hold hands with and kiss in public. Someone you can love without being judged. You deserve so much more than me, I don't understand..." He rambled, his voice cracking slightly as he sobbed into Dan's neck. He just couldn't let him go, though. He couldn't part with him, even though he knew it was the right thing to do. He was selfish, and Dan made him feel good. Dan made him feel alive, happy. Dan made him feel so damn special. Was it so wrong to relish in that feeling forever?
"Don't you dare say that." Dan said instantly, pushing Phil away slightly by his shoulders so he could look him in the eyes. "I love you Phil. No one else could make me feel like this. I want you. Not some teenage slut who can't keep her skirt down. You are the only one I want. The only one I've ever wanted!" Dan exclaimed, making Phil's heart flutter as their lips were pressed together. "Phil." Dan whispered, pulling away just a little and bumping their foreheads together. "That's how I feel about you. I don't care if we have to hide this forever, but I need you. I need you to hold my hand, hug me back, let me kiss you. I want to play with your hair and sing you songs, write you poetry. You'd be my Juliet. "
Phil's heart fluttered even more. Those words were so... Deep. So emotional, and utterly romantic. They made Phil feel special, like Dan always made him feel. They just seemed to... Make everything right. Phil couldn't doubt himself after that, or Dan. All he could do was let Dan kiss him, and wrap his arms around his neck as all the emotions poured into the kiss. "You can be my Romeo..." Phil whispered, grinning lazily as he nibbled Dan's bottom lip.
"I'd like that..." Dan mumbled, grinning as well, and moaning as Phil played with his lip. "We can die together, when the time comes... And then together, we will be forever." He smiled, gently pulling away from Phil. The pale boy bit his lip and smiled shyly as Dan took his hand, giving it a gentle kiss. "Put on your jumper, then I'll go make you something special." He said quietly, making Phil blush as Dan climbed down the ladder. He giggled softly to himself, putting his jumper back on carefully.
He climbed down the ladder about five minutes after Dan, since his jumper had been hard getting back on again. Even just climbing down the rope ladder was hard. He had to take it so slowly, that most of the time he was barely moving. His dad really did a number on him. Walking wasn't as hard, but climbing took much more effort than walking. By the time he made it into the kitchen, ten minutes had passed, and Dan was standing in front of a bench, hiding something from Phil.
The boy tried to look past him, but Dan just grinned and shifted his body accordingly, making Phil pout. "What is it?" He whined, making Dan chuckle as he asked him to close his eyes. Phil obeyed quickly, and felt Dan's hands over them just in case he was peaking. Which, okay, he kind of was, but still. You'd think he'd have the benefit of the doubt.
Actually, no you wouldn't. Dan knew him well enough to know that Phil lived for peaking in on surprises.
"I'm going to uncover your eyes in about three seconds, so get ready for a magical experience." Dan said in a mysterious voice, making Phil giggle as he tried to guess what it was. He didn't have long to think though, because, as promised, three seconds later, Dan's hands were gone, and Phil blinked his eyes open. His eyes fell upon what Dan was hiding and he gasped, immediately grinning as he turned around and started kissing Dan. It was a lovely present, really. Dan had the full Buffy the Vampire Slayer series box set completely surrounded by various chocolates and sweets Phil enjoyed. There was also two steaming cups of hot chocolate, with little marshmallows on top, which made Phil even happier because Dan just knew what he felt like.
That boy was just so perfect, Phil just fell in love with him over and over and over. All he could do was stand by and watch the brilliance that was Dan Howell. "I was going to give it to you at like Christmas or something... But I knew you needed a cheer up today." Dan said a little shyly, blushing and making Phil coo quietly as he stroked his perfect dimple-y face.
"It's perfect..." Phil whispered, happy tears filling his eyes as he leant up for another kiss. Their lips moulded together so perfectly by then. Dan's lips felt warm, soft, and oh-so-familiar. They knew each other's patterns, and Phil knew that Dan liked to play with his hair, or waist while they kissed, because they were his favourite places of Phil's body. Even though the kiss was so familiar to Phil, it still made him feel so loved, special, warm. Every time it would feel just as good as the last. Better, sometimes! Dan's lips just fit with his, in a way that changed every time. And whenever Phil would come back, it would always be a bit different. Things would go slower, or faster, more sensually, or passionately. They would never be the same kisses, but at the same time, they kind of were. It didn't really make sense, but it was one of those things that was hard to explain.
"It really isn't..." Dan chuckled softly, blushing again. "I was going to get you a few more things, but... I hope this is alright?" He asked kind of nervously, making Phil giggle quietly and blush himself as he wound his arms around Dan's neck and nodded, whispering another 'it's perfect...'. Dan smiled again, this time less shy as he gently grabbed his waist. "You wanna go pop the first D.V.D in then? I'll grab the chocolates and stuff" He asked, gently pecking Phil's lips and making the boy blush as he nodded.
"I'll take the hot chocolates, too…" He said quietly, before slipping out of Dan's arms and grabbing the box set and the two mugs. He walked them into the living room and set them gently down on the coffee table, taking a sip before he opened the shrink wrap for the box set. He quickly opened up the large box and picked out the first season. Dan soon followed and dumped all the chocolates next to the mugs as Phil slid the first D.V.D into the player, and climbed his way back onto the sofa, sitting next to Dan.
It was hard not to snuggle, since Buffy the Vampire Slayer was Phil's favourite T.V show in the history of Television, but they knew that if Dan's mum came home early, they'd be caught. So, they happily sat on the sofa, drinking their hot chocolates as Buffy played. Somehow, Phil's hand ended up tangled with Dan's in the middle of everything, but that was fine, because he really couldn't care anymore.
All he could care about was how utterly perfect Dan was. He knew Phil couldn't be pushed further on the bruises, so he made him happy again.
Dan was probably the best boyfriend in the entire world. And as they finished their hot chocolates, and shuffled a little closer, Phil felt lighter, happier. Happier than he'd been in a long, long time.
And it was all because of the wonderful, amazing, perfect Dan Howell. His boyfriend.
So. Finally done. :3 Sorry this didn't get posted yesterday but I had to sleep early because I had to go into McDonald's today and get trained sooo. Yeah. I'm extremely tired. But here it is! I actually have a sort of plan that I'm gonna go by now. So you can expect loads more chapters! Maybe even a sequel?! :D I dunno yet! We'll just have to see, won't we?
Anyways, as always,
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