Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. The rest of this is mine.

Thanks to Iris for cleaning this up and to M and Nic for pre-reading. Any mistakes left are mine. Rachel, thank you for always tweeting the Tom Welling goods to me. Happy birthday, girl! I know it's early, but have some angst on me.

This is EPOV of TGAG Ch 24. Renee's wedding.

December 18th, 1993…

All the pictures had
All been washed in black

Tattooed everything
All the love gone bad,

Turned my world to black
Tattooed all I see

All that I am, all I'll be

yeah

I know someday you'll have a beautiful life
I know you'll be a star

In somebody else's sky
But why…

Why…

Why can't it be…

Why can't it be mine?

(Black – Pearl Jam)

~o~

Emmett is waiting next to his Jeep when I pull into the lot at the Olympic Lodge.

"He's early," Dad says, using the mirror on the visor to straighten his tie.

"Yeah, apparently there was a situation with the original piano player, so Rosalie is stepping in."

"That's nice of her."

"I'm sure Coach is paying a pretty penny."

He shakes his head. "It's a shame you choose to think the worst of her. Regardless of what happened, it took courage for her to tell the truth."

The subject dies when the car doors open. Emmett gives me a funny look but stays quiet until Dad leaves us to find Mom. "She's here," he says, pausing outside the entrance to The Lodge.

"It's her mom's wedding. Of course she's here." I've been staring at the calendar on my desk for over a month because she said she would be.

"He's here, too."

That's… unexpected. I'd assumed he was too cool to come to a stuffy wedding. Emmett says they're not serious, but they've been together since this summer. And to Bella, sex is serious. She wouldn't be fucking him if she didn't have feelings for him.

Pure hatred would be a good choice to describe mine. Jealousy would work, too. He's seated on the second row of Renee's side with Leah and Brent Mallory. Where fucking family sits.

This is good.

This might be exactly what I need to finally kick her. Nothing else has worked. I've tried it all.

Maybe seeing her with someone else is what it takes.

Alice walks by me and Emmett without a word, but Jasper stops to talk to us. She gives him a look and then greets Riley with a smile before taking the seat next to his. He's in with the Pack.

Coming to this wedding was a mistake.

When Rosalie starts playing the piano, Jasper says he'll catch us later and sits next to Alice. Carmen rushes in right before a long pause between songs. The door at the back of the room opens. People turn in their seats, but I face forward in an effort not to look completely pathetic.

Bella's boyfriend is staring and smiling, and when she finally comes into view and passes me, I can see why.

Is that a fucking tattoo? Fuck.

She looks stunning, with her hair swept up from her neck, ringlets of blue and brown, curling over at the top of some twisty shit. The deep blue of the dress against her pale skin is a painful reminder of exactly how soft that spot on her shoulder is.

She stops when she reaches the end of the aisle.

God, please don't let her puke.

She'd die of embarrassment. Coach looks panicked, and Alice moves to the edge of her seat. At least she's close if Bella goes down.

After a moment, Bella's arms relax, and she moves into place, keeping her eyes on Phil. They share a look, and then he smiles. Something flickers in my chest when she returns it. It's a real smile, like I haven't seen in so long.

She's happy.

And it looks good on her.

She focuses on Renee and Coach, but after she hands the ring over, she glances up and catches me checking her out. Since I'm busted anyway, I grin and acknowledge it. She does the same before looking down at the flowers in her hand.

I'm going to find a way to talk to her tonight. Even if it's just a quick hello.

Bella sits with the wedding party and her boyfriend. It's hard not to stare, so I try to do it stealthily. They don't seem overly affectionate. He touched her back once during the walk to the table, but they haven't touched since. There aren't any side conversations between them. In truth, Bella looks distracted, staring at the food on her plate more than her dinner companions.

Afterwards, she disappears up the stairs with her friends. Riley and Brent make a break for the bar in the reception hall.

Rosalie wants a cigarette, so Emmett bums one from Elliot, and I go outside with them to kill time. I have a feeling Bella is doing some smoking of her own somewhere, and she'll probably be MIA for the next twenty minutes, at least.

"So why'd you do it?" I ask Rosalie. "You hate Bella. Why help Renee?"

"I don't hate Bella." She watches the fountain for a moment and takes a long drag before continuing. "I know you don't believe that, and I don't care. Honestly? I'm sick of your guilt trip bullshit. Don't, Emmett!" She points a finger in his face to keep him from interrupting, then her gaze narrows on me.

"Yes. I'm part of the reason you two broke up." She steps closer and lowers her voice. "But you never did a thing to fix it. You had your chance last December, and you blew it. You don't get to blame me anymore."

"So, just like that… You think you're off the hook."

"Okay. I fucked you over." She nods. "The two of you fucked each other over way worse than anything I did. I'm done apologizing to you. I helped her mother because she helped me. I suck at Shakespeare, and I bombed a couple of tests last year." She points to the building. "Even after the way I treated her daughter, she still gave me extra credit and helped me with study guides."

She puts her cigarette out and bumps her shoulder against mine when she walks by. "I didn't do it out of some imaginary sense of guilt you think I should feel. Bella didn't like me any more than I liked her. Stop acting like she's some kind of fucking angel."

She walks inside without us, and Emmett exhales. "Dude," he says.

"Don't."

"It's fair. She shouldn't have to kiss your ass forever. You don't have to forgive her. Just lose the attitude. And for fuck's sake, Edward, find a way to talk to Bella tonight."

He follows Rosalie inside, and I consider taking the lighted path around the side of the building to the parking lot. I could get in my car and go home. I was here for the main show. Coach wouldn't notice if I skipped out on the reception.

Bella might.

I bump into Jasper near the fireplace. We shake and bump shoulders, and then he reaches inside his jacket, producing a silver flask. "Here, dude. You look like you could use it."

I can't argue, so I check to make sure no one's looking before throwing it back a couple of times. We catch up for a few minutes, but he leaves me when he spots Alice, Bella, and the others at the top of the stairs. He meets them at the bottom, and I get a quick glimpse of Bella's tattoo again before she's out of sight.

Elliot and a few of the guys have taken over a quiet corner of the reception, so I join them. If I'm going to stay, I need to make the best of it and at least act like it isn't killing me to be here.

My resolve is tested when Carmen ditches Bella and the others first thing, honed in on one of my best friends and being civil to me. "Hey, Edward."

"Carmen."

"Is this going to be a problem?" she asks, waving a hand between her and Elliot.

"No. No problem."

"Cool. I wish things had turned out differently." She glances over at Bella, causing me to do the same. "We were all floored when it happened. You guys were so… different. It broke all of our hearts, not just Bella's. And some of us behaved worse than others."

It must be killing her to apologize to me. She can't even say the words.

"I shouldn't have interfered," she says.

Rosalie is right about one thing. "We all did a lot of stupid things back then." I'm not going to lie and act like it's no big deal, but she loves Bella. I know that.

"So, we're good?" she asks.

"We're good."

Bella is on her feet most of the night, more social and at ease than I remember her ever being when we were younger. She dances with Jasper and anyone else who asks.

I keep my distance, standing near the door between the bar and the dance floor. Riley and Brent don't move from their spots, not even during the garter business. Sam swears this guy is good to Bella, but all I see is a douche who won't even dance with her.

Fucking idiot.

Bella checks in with him every few songs. She steals pulls from his beer, and he kisses her cheek a couple of times, but she doesn't return the affection. Even when his hand settles on her ass.

She pushes away from him and ends up dancing in Emmett's arms a few minutes later.

"The first step is talking to the girl. I could help you out with an introduction." I jump. Bella's grandfather smiles, watching her laugh at something Emmett is saying. "I could introduce you, you know. She's my granddaughter."

"I already know her. She was… mine. It was a long time ago."

He laughs. "Like I said, your first step is talking to the girl." Before walking away, he adds, "I knew a girl just like her, once. They're worth every bit of the frustration."

The dj finally throws me a fucking bone by spinning "No Ordinary Love." Bella's shoulders curl in, and she makes a beeline for her smokes.

Not this time.

I've had the door covered since I've been here. I keep myself between it and Bella and take a few steps to catch up with her before she gets to the table.

"Dance with me."

Other than a few deep breaths, she's absolutely still. The tattoo on her neck is a B, a fancy, sexy B with a clover.

She turns around slowly and smiles. For the first time in over a year, she lets me touch her.

Her hip… her hand…

It's good but not right.

"So, where are your combat boots?" I ask. I prayed she'd wear them. Then I prayed she wouldn't.

"Not wearing them is my wedding gift to Renee."

She laughs with me, and I know… I know that I have to find a way to say what I need to say. I miss her. I miss talking to her and laughing like this, even if it ends up killing me, I at least want her friendship back.

Once she relaxes, we move closer and closer. When her tits finally press against my chest, I give in and pull her against me. She shivers when I drag my knuckle over the skin at her collarbone.

"So, where did you and Renee run off to this summer?"

"A cruise to the Bahamas and then St. Augustine."

We can do this. We can talk and be friends…

"And next year?"

She stops and takes a step away from me, frowning at my tie. "We're going to visit a couple of schools in Philadelphia over Spring Break."

"Why?" She always planned to go to UW. I've been banking on her going there.

"I, uh…" She glances around, chewing her lip and looking for an escape. "I'm going to Philadelphia or Florida next year. I haven't decided which."

"Why? You always planned to go to UW."

The song ends, but this isn't finished. I keep a tight grip on her hand and pull her away from the reception. She lets me lead her through the lobby and out to the back patio, only pulling away when the cold air hits her.

She needs my jacket more than I do, so I take it off, put it over her shoulders, and wait for an answer.

"Riley's sister, Vickie, lives there with her husband. He's moving there too for a job. So I submitted a few applications to schools in Philly. Renee said she would go with me to check it out."

"You're going to live with him." I've spent most of tonight trying to convince myself that things between them aren't serious, and now…

"There are dorms at the colleges in Philadelphia, and I told you I haven't made a decision."

Her apology makes sense now. She wants a clear conscience before she goes. "You were saying goodbye at the hospital."

"Stop it," she says. "That is not what I was doing. He didn't even ask me until a few weeks ago. I just wanted to apologize at the hospital. That's it. There was no ulterior motive. I don't want to fight anymore." Her voice breaks at the end, and her eyes are watering like she might cry, but I don't care.

"What about me? When do I get to say I'm sorry, Bella?" Her lips purse together, and she looks away. "Every time I tried, you shut me down. You cut me out completely, and fuck, Bella, it hurt. I know I didn't act like it there at the end, but you were my whole world, and I wasn't a very good friend to you, either.

"You were the girl everyone wanted; so aloof, so mysterious, with a side of freaky hood. And I heard what they said. 'What in the hell is she doing with him?' I just wanted to be more than the geek with the hot girl. But the more I tried to be who I thought you deserved, the more I seemed to be losing you. You were spending more time in Forks, and I figured it was only a matter of time. It never made sense for you to want to be with me."

"All I ever wanted was that boy."

"I know." I stop a few feet away from her and press my palms against my forehead, letting old memories flood my mind for the first time in almost a year. "And being that geeky kid was so much better than being the dumbass that let you slip right through his fingers." She tried to tell me. Maybe not as directly as she should have, but she did try. "You loved me so much, you cried when I cut my hair. Seeing how unhappy you were in the parking lot that day… knowing I caused it…" Or at least that's what I thought at the time. "I was so angry when I found out about what happened with Royce and Ben. I did some really stupid things." The bender over Christmas Break last year ended several of my old friendships in Seattle, not to mention the Maggie deal. I let anger boil over into stupidity. "It took me forever to cool off enough to really think about it. At first, I couldn't understand why you did it…"

The pain and sorrow turned to white hot anger that night on her porch back in Forks, and I stayed pissed for a very long time. Being pissed hurt a lot less.

That worked for a while. Until the day I woke up too tired to be angry. When the numbness set in, it was easier to think things through.

"But when I let myself remember – really remember – it made perfect sense. You did do it for me. I tried to stop the gossip, I really did. Emmett did, too. But every time we intervened, it got worse. It was my job to take care of you, and I just failed you all the way around."

I can blame Rosalie or Ben or Royce… But at the end of the day, I'm the one who let her down.

"I'll always be sorry for that. Always, Bella." I can't change what happened between us. Neither of us can. But we could try to be more than this. We are more than this. "I-"

"Bella?"

For fuck's sake.

Now the jackass decides to ditch the free beer and pay attention to her. Convenient. He sizes me up from behind her and then stakes his claim with his hand on her waist. The kiss on the cheek is reinforcement.

Message received.

She's his. Like I need a fucking reminder.

"I've been looking everywhere for you. The others are ready to go. Emily and Sam should be home by now, and I talked Phil out of a bottle of the good stuff."

There's a chilled bottle of champagne in his left hand.

"I see," she says, giving me a quick glance. "Riley, this is Edward." There's a satisfying flash of recognition in his eyes when she says my name. "He was nice enough to loan me his jacket so I could catch a smoke."

He moves away from her long enough to meet in the middle for a handshake. I decide to see Bella's lie and raise her one. "Nice to meet you."

"Likewise," he says. "You look familiar…"

"Uh, yeah. I think you might live in the same complex as my buddy." Memories of him walking her out of his apartment at 10AM on a Saturday morning assault my mind. He was shirtless and her hair was wrecked from sleep.

I have to take a step back to keep from taking a shot at him.

Bella steps between us and lets my jacket slip from her shoulders. She holds it out, and I purposefully graze the back of her hand with my fingers.

"It was great seeing you, Edward. Thanks for the dance and for the jacket."

That's it.

This is really it.

Instead of walking away with her friendship like I'd hoped, I'm leaving with nothing.

And he's got everything.

It takes me a moment to get it together. I shove my fists into my pockets to keep from doing something stupid. Like hitting him or grabbing her. "I hope you'll be happy, Bella." It's all I've ever wanted for her, and that much is still true. That doesn't mean I want her to be happy with this asshole, though. "I hear the beaches are beautiful in Florida." The last part is for him, and he knows it from my glare.

Bella is trembling from head to toe, shivering and staring until he turns her away from me with an arm around her shoulder.

For the second time tonight, I consider an escape to the parking lot. The masochist in me forces me to follow them through the French doors and back to the reception to see it through to the end.

Bella says her goodbyes and shares a few moments with Renee before Riley starts maneuvering her towards the exit. She stops for one long moment in the lobby, staring back at me with the same confusion and sadness I feel swirling in my chest.

And then she's gone.

I stand rooted to the spot staring at the door for a solid fifteen minutes. Thinking, praying, and hoping for some kind of miracle to make her walk back through it. But this isn't some John fucking Hughes movie, and she really did leave with him.

She chose him.

~O~

A/N – That's the last outtake, guys. "Ten" (futuretake) will post on Friday.

A lot of people mentioned wanting to know what the hell was going through Edward's head during the bump with Irina on the beach. I didn't write it because it would be the most boring outtake ever. Lol. Nothing was going through his head. He didn't do it to hurt Bella. He'd never hurt her on purpose. During his relationship with Bella, she smoked weed with Ben at a party, with Alec at Lonnie's house, with Emmett all the time, and he even caught her at Quil's garage after she smoked out with Jake, her ex-boyfriend. To him, bumping with Irina was no different than what Bella had done on many occasions with many people. In his mind, Irina was never a threat to Bella and that was pre-harassment to his knowledge. Bella never told him she felt threatened by Irina. Annoyed? Sure. But he really didn't think it was a big deal.

Thanks for reading. See you on Friday!

MSC

xoxo