"So you never dated a guy before? Seriously?" Santana asked, eyebrows raised partly in surprise, partly in interest as she regarded her girlfriend, lips quirked into a small smirk. "Not even chasing boys to scratch and rape kiss them on the playground in elementary school? Nada all along?"
Dani's own eyebrows raised at this last few questions, and she laughed lightly. "You have something to confess, babe? Rape kissing boys on the playground, huh? I know you're a badass, but I had no idea you started making people your bitch at such an early and impressionable age."
"Well, it was more chasing them to attack them than to kiss them," Santana corrected, her smirk breaking out into a full on grin as she remembered, stretching her legs out over Dani's lap where the two sat together on Santana's apartment's couch. "I would hunt them down, scratch them through their shirts, knock them down and sit on them, and keep them pinned there until they gave me something, and then if they gave me what I wanted sometimes I'd kiss them if they were begging me to. If I was in the mood. Most of the time I'd just punch them in the arm and run off though."
Dani laughed again, eyebrows raising again, this time with amusement as she lightly rubbed a hand over Santana's knee, her thumb digging into the skin just above. "Should have known, baby Tana was a little heartbreaker too, huh? So no girl chasing in all this boy bashing?"
"Oh, there was some girl chasing too," Santana said casually, though she didn't go into detail, and Rachel, from behind her curtain, piped up to fill Dani in.
"Oh, there certainly was girl chasing on Santana's behalf, Dani. She chased me, as a matter of fact."
"You chased Rachel?" Dani's eyes widened, and she started to snicker, one hand rising to cover her mouth as her eyes moved between Rachel's curtain and her girlfriend, still half sitting on her lap. "Really?"
"Not like THAT," Santana tried to correct her hurriedly. "I chased her so I could tear her clothes, pull her hair, and stick random objects down her back, not because I LIKED her or anything."
"Yes, I distinctly got the message that you weren't fond of me, as such, since you told me so on a daily basis in no uncertain terms," came Rachel's dignified response from behind the curtain, and then she moved it aside, poking out her head and half her shoulders as she continued to converse with the other women. "Although it is true, Santana, that little boys often express affection and attraction towards little girls by behaving in a teasing and borderline cruel manner towards them, so perhaps your feelings towards me mirrored this philosophy at the time and you simply did not realize it?"
Dani's eyes shifted between the two, a grin still playing at her lips as she watched their exchange, even as Santana shook her head, rolling her eyes.
"Or I just actually really did hate your guts and get sick of hearing you recite the textbook definition with your arm waving like a windshield wiper even when the teachers WEREN'T asking for volunteers."
"And now you live with her and let her hug and cuddle you basically whenever the mood hits her without threatening physical violence, let alone carrying it out," Dani observed, reaching to stroke her fingers through Santana's hair affectionately even as her tone remained teasing. "You let her tame you, babe."
"Let her WHAT? You are so full of shit, ain't nobody who can tame THIS," Santana rolled her eyes, stroking the hand not wrapped around Dani's waist down her chest and stomach and legs for emphasis. "Try all you want, ain't no one ever gonna win out against Santana Lopez."
"Oh, Santana, please," Rachel rolled her eyes right back at her, crossing her arms over her chest as she stepped fully out from behind her curtain, now standing just behind the couch and looking down at the other two. "You fully enjoy and even initiate hugs and cuddling, you argue hair products and reality TV shows with Kurt, you have had long and earnest talks about your love life late into the night with me and have even listened to tales of my love life as well without even complaining too frequently about how disgusting it is to imagine me behaving in an intimate fashion with someone, and you always participate in any group sing-along with only minimal complaint and much enjoyment and enthusiasm. You have been tamed. In fact, you are downright domestic."
"I TOLERATE, I don't enjoy," Santana argued, disgruntled, even as Rachel's eyes pointedly scanned the length of her frame, which happened to be cuddled up to Dani's, and specifically resting on Santana's hand still gently resting on Dani's hip, her other hand now caressing Dani's hand. "I am NOT fucking tamed, Berry."
"Oh, I see, throwing in a vulgar word makes all the difference in your status," Rachel smirked, and as Santana scowled back at her, irritated that the girl was now giving back smartass comments as much as Santana gave them out, Rachel sat down in the armchair near the couch, crossing her legs and regarding her roommate and her girlfriend with continued amusement. "You totally love it."
"You do, babe," Dani backed her up, and Santana, cornered now, attempted to shift the subject back to its original topic.
"So you really never dated any guys at all, Dani?"
"Didn't say that," Dani replied, though she was still smirking, clearly onto Santana's attempt at plot shifting as she took Santana's hand in hers, squeezing lightly and adjusting herself so she was resting her head against Santana's arm. "I dated a few. But I always knew what was really going on, and I stopped trying to lie to everyone after a few tries. I never did have to lie to myself. So then I skipped ahead to secretly dating girls, but you know how that went…so then it wasn't a secret anymore, because I had nothing left to lose. I've dated a fair number of girls, since, but none of that really matters now, does it? because right now I'm with you."
She kissed Santana's shoulder affectionately, aware and amused by Rachel's bright-eyed "romantic" look on her face as she watched. "You're the newby to the gay scene, San. You've only been with one other girl before, right?"
"No…I've been with lots of girls," Santana protested, though the look on her face was somewhat unconvincing. When both Dani and Rachel raised their eyebrows, she relented. "Fine, maybe not lots. But enough. I'm not a lesbian virgin, believe me."
"And she's certainly not a virgin in the more heterosexual sense of the word either," Rachel commented, which caused Dani to turn to look at her, interested.
"Oh?"
"She certainly dated plenty of boys, though I am not certain as to whether she actually had sexual relations with the majority of them or whether rumors were unfairly spread because she was an attractive cheerleader. Or perhaps she spread the rumors herself to attempt to counterbalance her discomfort with her actual sexuality," Rachel began to muse, as Santana sat up and apart from Dani, narrowing her eyes at her.
"Berry, you mind actually asking me whatever sexual lowdown on me you want to know rather than analyzing possibilities to my girlfriend?"
"Well, I know you dated Puck, and it seemed as though the two of you had sexual relations, and I know you did with Finn, though I wouldn't say you dated, exactly," Rachel began, as Dani listened with great interest.
"Puck I could see, but Finn? Really?"
"It was ONE time, and it barely counted," Santana started to explain, even as Rachel continued.
"I know she dated Sam, of course, and even Dave, though that was apparently only for show, and I believe Matt our sophomore year? I don't even remember the majority, Santana, you will have to recall for yourself, I suppose, if you are so inclined."
"I could start naming yours too, Finn, Puck, Jesse, BRODY-" Santana started, a threatening edge to her voice, as Rachel cut her off, holding up one hand hurriedly.
"No, I do suppose we could conclude the conversation on a more, uh, pleasant note?"
"So, did the two of you ever date, or hook up?" Dani asked, looking between the two women with a small smile still playing at her lips.
Rachel's eyes widened, and Santana's mouth dropped before she began to sputter with laughter, immediately shaking her head vehemently
"No, no way! Rachel, are you friggin' insane, NO!"
"What's so funny about the question, Santana?" Rachel questioned, brow furrowed, a hint of hurt coming into her tone. "I'm open to alternate sexual identities even if I do identify myself as straight. You are an attractive person and though of course I do not think of you in a sexual manner, were you to propose something I wouldn't dismiss you offhand…what is so funny that she might think we had had some sort of history of this nature at one time?"
"Not Rachel," Santana managed, still snickering, after a few moments, "but there was that one night with Quinn…"
And as Rachel's jaw dropped, her eyes bulging, she started to laugh even harder than before.