There was a gentle rap on my door, I sucked in a deep breath.

My first date since jay had died.

Please go easy on me tonight James I thought to my self.

I Forced my smile back on my face and opened the door.

"Wow" was the only word that greeted me from James' mouth.

He looked very much wow himself though. blue pin striped suit, his hair carefully swept to the side, his beautiful brown eyes gazing over every inch of my body, Framed by the longest lashes I had seen on a man.

He took my breath away. He looked so much older than he did on the bus with his grey v neck tee on.

I took a moment to take him all in.

"Geez sorry, I'm so rude, come in, I just have to perfume myself then I'm good to go"

James stepped in, still not saying anything apart from the "wow." He seemed nervous. It didn't suit him to be nervous, he eyed up the penthouse, the beautiful furniture and the huge bed that centred the entire room. I blushed.

"James, you okay?" I asked.

He came back to earth.

"yeah fine. Sorry this place is amazing, you look amazing. I think I'm a bit star struck" he chuckled his deep infectious laugh.

I slipped my hand in his palm.

"cmon I'm looking forward to seeing where your taking me" I said.

He looked almost embarrassed "hmmm, I'm not sure its gonna be what your used to" he chided, taking another look around the room.

I laughed, "well it can't be as bad as Carlos taking me to subway"

he smiled, the image of me dressed in my vivienne westwood at subway was a humourous thought.

"Let's get goin then, you may want to change those shoes though?" He said eyeing up my 5 inch stilletto's.

"Okay" I agreed as I left the soft grip of his hand to rummage for a pair of flats to put in to my bag.

We left and grabbed a cab from outside the lobby. James must have booked the cab already as the driver knew where he was going.

James held my hand the entire way, it felt comfortable and gave me butterflies in the pit of my stomach. He chatted about some modelling he had done in the past and about his school days, he told me he was trained in ballet which I was too.

I felt myself giving in to james. He was a breath of fresh air for me and had a very mature head on such young shoulders.

He knew exactly what he wanted from life, we couldnt be more alike.

The cab came to a stop, James got out and as the true gent he was opened my door for me, again offering his hand which I hastily took.

The driver had also got out and was opening the trunk. out came a lavish looking picnic hamper which James took with his free hand.

He looked down at me, "you ready?" he grinned at my shoes.

I tore my gaze away from his perfect face and looked at my surroundings and realised we were at cocoa beach.

It was perfect for a picnic date. I de-heeled and just went bare foot, my perfectly manicured feet felt glad to be out of the heels.

We walked along the cool sand finding an ideal place to sit.

I had taken James by the arm now, this whole evening reaked of romance, and I didn't want to give him the wrong impression, and it worried me how much i enjoyed holding his hand.

James layed the blanket down and we sat.

For the first time I felt awkward.

"Do I make you nervous?" He asked, he didn't make eye contact, just looked out to the smooth ocean.

"no James you dont make me nervous". I lied. "you just need to know that this is perfect, but I really can't be anything more than a friend" I added.

I squeezed his hand which he was leaning on. He gave a weak smile and looked down at his lap for a brief second before returning to the ocean.

"is it 'cause of my age or 'cause your not ready to date yet?" He asked.

Wow brutal honesty, I wasn't expecting him to be so to the point!

I thought my answer through quickly and looked out at the ocean that had James transfixed.

"both, but that's not to say I don't like you. Your amazing and I definitely want to be great friends? I feel we have a connection, like I'm drawn to you" I replied.

he broke his gaze from the ocean and layed down on his side to face me. His eye contact ripped through me.

My head started to spin as I inhaled his amazing scent that had swarmed my way in the gentle breeze as he moved his body.

"I feel I'm drawn to you too." The words ached out of him, Like he couldnt do anything than say his deepest feelings. finally the tables had turned and he was putty in my hands for the first time.

"Carlos warned me in the bus today while you were sleeping to not hurt you. He told me about ... jay... I'm sorry. It must be so hard." he looked at the floor to say jays name.

tears escaped my face again."thankyou" was all I could master up as a reply.

He wiped a stray tear off my cheek. His touch felt like electric on my skin.

"Shall we eat?" He asked changing the conversation to something safe.

He opened up the hamper. Least if we ate we didn't have to talk serious stuff.

"Sure I'm starving." I smiled.

I had to hand it to James. He knew how to treat a girl, his charm was out of this world. He oozed charisma and had obviously milked Carlos of every detail needed about me for a succesfull date, my favourite fruits, non alcoholic wine, I winced at that. dreading what sordid details of my past Carlos had let slip to James.

I told james that jay was meant to be my soul mate. I let him know the hurt I felt when I learnt of his death. James was so easy to talk to, he some how understood, he said caring words in all the right places. I never wanted to leave cocoa beach.

The evening sped past and the cab journey home seemed to go even faster. It was late, almost 1:30am So much for my early night!

James walked me to room 402. I was dreading an awkward goodnight. But he had obviously thought it through and simply took both my hands, looked down to me and kissed me on the cheek.

He left a small folded piece of paper in my hand and walked away towards the elevator. It was his cell number and the words "for if your ever in need of a friend X O X"

Geez James why do you have to be so perfect! I thought.

I panicked.

"James?" my voice was soft but the desperation in it was so audible.

he turned back and came towards me, rustling up his incredible scent again. My head spun as I took it in like an intoxicating drug and he took both my hands again and kissed the top of my head.

I was full of emotion. I didnt know what to do or say. I regretted the xanax for the 3rd time that day. But the tears began rolling again.

I freed myself from his hands and wrapped my arms around his waist. He cradled my head in his chest.

He knew I was hurting for jay. He just took it in his stride.

When I felt I could contain the tears I let my head look up to his adonis face, which was full of uncertainty.

I couldn't understand why he looked uncertain untill he kissed me. His lips against mine felt unreal, our bodys moved in motion together, his tongue slowly caressing mine. His hands cradling my face against his own. He slowly pulled away.

"sorry." He said sounding husky.

He still held my face in his hands, he kissed my forehead. I took his hands in mine and led him inside my room.

"Sheriden I can't do this tonight, I know you don't want this. Not yet anyway" he said softly.

"Why did you come back?" I asked, I felt a flush in my face as the words came out.

" 'cause you need me tonight and I wanna be there for you" he answered.

he took his suit jacket off and Hung it over the side of the cream chaise longue that was positioned opposite the bed.

"Go get changed in to something comfy" he ordered.

Without a word I trotted off to the bathroom and got changed in to my night shirt. It was a bit short, just about covered my ass. But was best I could do at such short notice and limited luggage without trying to look sexy.

I brushed my teeth and walked back through to the main room.

James was shoe-less and shirt-less sitting on the edge of the huge bed but still adorning his pin striped trousers.

This I mentally thanked him for.

I walked over to the bed. He stood up and kissed my lips again. It felt more intense this time, I ran my fingers down his perfect chest, taking in the contours of his abs. He felt safe. I wanted to bury myself in him. Tell him every secret I ever had. I wanted him to mend my heart.

Again he pulled away. "in to bed" he said.

he nodded in the direction of the oversized pillows on my bed. I got in.

He walked over to the opposite side and dimmed the lights. he lay on top of the covers, even in the dim light I couldnt help notice his erection wanting to escape those pin striped trousers.

I cuddled in to his chest, one of his arms was my new pillow and with the other he held my hand, I kissed him on his cheek, he held me closer around the shoulders.

I had never felt so safe in a mans arms. James kissed me again, this time was longer, more seductive. I could feel the sexual tension in his tongue as it gently circled around mine.

I pulled away this time. Scared where this would lead but james had more control than I did.

He moved his body up slightly on the bed so my head was nestled on his shoulder. It was so late now. James' safety and warmth had me asleep in moments.