It was the week before Christmas.
And all throughout the land,
Buildings and trees were decorated
Extravagantly grand.
The lights they did twinkle.
They decked out all the halls.
On the Christmas tree they hung,
Shiny and sparkly red balls.
Markimoo ran past shoppers in a flash.
Mark was in a hurry during this date.
Shuffling his feet so fast.
For he had waited to buy his present too late.
He bought presents for his family,
some small things would do it.
A gift for everyone on the list,
Darkiplier not included.
Darkiplier would get him.
Darkiplier was so very miffed!
How dare Markimoo forget him,
and not give him a gift!?
So Darkiplier stood there,
and he did conspire.
He had an idea to get back at Mark.
But sadly Santa was in the line of fire...
Since Mark wasn't watching the steps he did take.
Darkiplier pushed Mark on Santa's back.
And sadly, both of Santa's legs he did break.
His skull and spine got cracked.
The kiddies cried,
the mothers had shout.
On the floor Santa lied,
Mark almost knocked Santa out.
He scrambled his brains.
He pulled out his hair.
He was going insane.
Mark was so very scarred.
"You moron! You idiot!",
Santa said with no ounce of fun.
So loud and angry he spit.
"You ruined Christmas for everyone!"
"I'm sorry, Santa!", Mark said.
Eager to appease Santa,
or his dream of being on the nice list would be dead.
"Well, since you're so eagar to help."
Santa said while struggling to get up.
"I think I will make you my head elf!"
"You can help me in parts where I do lack!",
Santa said cheerily with a jiggle in his belly.
"It's only fair since you broke my back!"
Santa was gone before Mark could respond,
Guess he would just wait until Christmas Eve,
To be Santa's little Pon.
On the night before Christmas,
Mark was asleep in his home,
Not a thing was moving.
Not even a garden Gnome.
Until up on the roof there was a clatter,
Mark woke up quickly.
As he heard a window shatter.
Santa stood in the kitchen.
With red suit on and holding his present sack,
Mark came upon him,
Seeing Santa eat all his crap.
Santa waved his hand,
and with a twinkle of light,
Mark appeared in a bright green tights.
Out the broken window they both did fly.
The reindeer's hooves clicked and clacked.
Slowly the went to the first home.
Careful not to hurt Santa's back.
The looked at the sweet little kiddies,
Snuggled tight in their beds.
Visions of (No bread) Meals with cola
Were dancing in their heads.
In the letter was a wish like no other.
The letter that did read:
"I want a little sister or brother."
It would be most difficult to do this deed.
Mark wonder how they could give this gift,
as he moved over a sleeping cockier spaniel.
That was until he looked over at Santa,
Spiking the parent's eggnog with Jack Daniels.
From house to house they went.
Quicker than a flash.
The reindeer were so spent.
Some of them turned to ash.
It wouldn't be too long,
Until the sun was up.
But Santa and Mark kept working,
with short breaks to throw up.
Then they finally reached the last house,
The night was just about through.
The home a couple of grandparents,
and their granddaughter Candy Doo.
Cookies and her letter on the table.
Santa and Mark were as quiet as they were able.
Santa read it aloud as she tousled her hair.
Candy Doo lay asleep by the couch.
"I want my own little Warfstache to wear."
Santa looked for one in his sack but there wasn't one in there,
Luckly for the girl, Mark had one in his pocket.
He pulled out the Warfstache,
and placed it softly on her face.
The night was done.
Santa dropped off Mark.
He returned to the North Pole,
before it was no longer dark.
Markimoo came back inside.
He was glad to help Santa a lot.
Then he noticed a card sat upon his laptop.
"Good job, elf!", the card said.
Mark was so happy we could shed tears,
Until he saw the words:
"P.S. I'll need you next year!"