To Ease My Troubled Mind : Superhero
Sara wasn't sure she would ever get used to being called a hero. The SCPD, her father, Laurel, Felicity -they all said it, but she wouldn't accept it. Not when she used to kill people for a living. A hero doesn't save people as a penance for unforgivable transgressions. The League may act to eliminate threats, but it didn't make it easier and hardly helped her sleep better.
What Sara didn't understand, what she truly couldn't wrap her head around, was how Felicity's name was always left out of the mix.
John Diggle, decorated and retired special forces. Oliver Queen, billionaire, survivor, and vigilante. Sara Lance, screw-up, survivor, ex-assassin, and vigilante. How could killers ("Shooting a kid and defending a war criminal shouldn't get me a commendation.") with broken souls and enough guilt and karma to haunt them in the next life be considered heroes?
Then there's Sara's father and sister. Quentin Lance, from detective to beat cop and back. Laurel Dinah Lance, DA and pro bono lawyer. They're civil servants that earned their title.
But what about Felicity?
Felicity Smoak, IT-girl, secretary to Oliver Queen (and may be sleeping with her boss). That's all people see when they look at her. Sara thinks that's the greatest transgression, greatest injustice of them all. To Sara, Felicity Smoak is the greatest hero of them all -a superhero even.
Felicity Smoak, who considers her 'loud voice' as yelling, who keeps everyone in line when things get ugly. Felicity Smoak, whose moral compass probably points to true North and everyone turns to for guidance. A woman who is a shining beacon that penetrates the darkest corner of their souls and can do no wrong. A woman who is as humble as she is beautiful and intelligent, and, as Sara has come to realize, someone whose opinion she has come to value more than her own family.
So Sara makes it her mission to tell Felicity everyday that she's Sara's hero; every time Felicity gives her advice, every time they go out someplace, every time Felicity pushes the darkness away that much more, every time Sara goes out on patrol. Recently, Sara's come to tell her every night, too.
Sara tells it to her when they curl up before sleep, breathes it on her lips after they kiss and touch foreheads, presses it into her skin as Sara pays homage to her body. Sara will tell Felicity until her last breath.
Maybe one day Felicity will believe it.
Maybe after Sara learns to believe in herself.