Okay, I've been trying to figure out where to go next with this one and I think I finally got it. Enjoy!

Switched to M!

Chapter Three

In all her years at sea, there were two things that Kate had never really experienced.

The first thing was loneliness. Since being welcomed aboard the Victoria by Captain Montgomery, she had not wanted for human companion. Though slower at it than Lanie, who readily welcomed a fellow female—despite their five-year age difference—onto the ship and the two girls were instantly close, the boys warmed up to her rather quickly. Especially Esposito and Ryan who considered her a sister, just as Lanie did, and were fiercely protective of her, despite the fact that Kevin was younger and much smaller than she. Antonio treated her like he treated every other member of the crew—with the utmost respect, so long as she returned it—and even taught her how to steer the ship (which took far longer than Kate would have liked, but she learned). The rest of the men treated her like one of them and were not shy about making crass jokes and belching in front of her at meal times. They even taught the once-Lady how to belch on command. And when Tori and Jenny came aboard, Kate treated them the same way the men—excluding the three who attempted to be rid of her—had treated her, welcoming them with open arms.

No, Kate Beckett was never lonely; she was constantly surrounded by family. And love.

But not the kind that she so craved now.

Since entering her teen years, Beckett had found a certain…longing. For a strong, warm pair of arms to wrap around her—not like Lanie's or Esposito's or even Antonio's, whose embraces were comforting and loving in a familial way. But rather…of a lover.

Kate had learned about the 'birds and the bees' from Esposito and Deacon, who were trying to explain something rather embarrassing to Ryan, who'd recently started having…feelings. Kate had overheard and asked them what they were talking about. Each of the three young men blushed bright crimson and started to stammer at the sight of the girl, but Kate's glare held them there, unable to make a break for it. It was with that glare alone that they finally explained to her all about the sexual relations between a man and woman…a conversation that made even Kate Beckett blush at.

But it made sense. This longing Kate was experiencing…it wasn't a longing for anybody in her immediate vicinity, but rather of a faceless form. Hands and lips and…other parts.

Parts which she found at the ripe age of 15, while they were docked in the Caribbean. Lanie had elected to stay onboard; her memories of this place, while fuzzy, made her wary of the men who might still think that they owned her. Montgomery allowed this and had Antonio watch over her, leaving Kate to explore—and steal their dinner—on her own.

She'd walked the market place for a little over a quarter of an hour when she'd spotted him.

A man—definitely a man—of about twenty years old, lifting crates of fruit and stacking them next to the stand for which they were meant. He was a giant—tall, broad-shouldered, muscular…

But unlike the fairytales she'd heard, this man was not warty and balding, but rather…handsome.

She began to feel the fluttering in her stomach (and other places) as she watched his calloused hands wedge between a crate and the ground, lifting it with a manly grunt and stacking it upon another. When he let out a sigh and wiped his forehead of sweat, his eyes caught Kate's and she immediately blushed at the look of pure lust reflected in them. Lust that she most definitely reciprocated.

This is it, Kate thought, squaring her shoulders as she made her way towards the man, hoping that the threadbare shirt she wore was enticing enough, despite the less-than-generous swell of her breasts, which she made sure to push out as much as would look completely casual.

As she approached, his smile widened. At only fifteen years old, Kate was already a gorgeous young lass—or so Antonio said, though she had a feeling he was just hoping seduce her into steering while he took a nap…which he did—and as this man's eyes ran from her tight leather boots to the emerald green eyes that sparkled in the setting sun—that fact was confirmed.

"Why, hello there, milady," he greeted, with a low bow. So he wasn't a local, then? Despite his tanned skin, the man's accent was distinctively British.

"Hello," Kate purred, her eyes locking on his dark brown ones.

"And what can I do for you, then?" he asked.

"Well," Kate started, "I've only got a couple of hours until my ship leaves, and I was hoping…" She looked up at him from underneath her lashes and he grinned, toothily.

"Oh, you were, were you?" he husked, stepping towards her, one hand skimming her waist, causing goose pimples to rise underneath the thin shirt. She let out a tiny moan and the man's eyes narrowed, his face going slightly flush with want. "Andrew!" he suddenly called over his shoulder, startling her. "I'll be taking my break then!"

"What?!" a gruff, unidentified voice shouted back. "But the day is almost up! Can you not wait?"

"No!" the man called back. "It'll only be a short one, I swear!" He turned his lusty smile back to Kate, before leading her behind a pile of crates. "What's your name, love?" he asked her.

Kate opened her mouth to tell him the truth, but then shook her head.

'Never give out your real name,' Montgomery had told her, more than once. 'Never trust anybody.'

ENTERING M TERRITORY

"Bex," Kate lied. "You can call me Bex." He grinned wolfishly, his hands running down to untie her rope belt; Kate let him, her heart stuttering all the while. "And yours?" she asked, when he'd undone her pants, her hands forcing his to pause.

"Joshua," the man replied, before slamming his lips down on hers. Kate's eyes widened, before she sunk into the kiss, the heat in her body flaring at the touch of his lips.

She'd only kissed one man before; Javier. And that was on a dare, brought forth by Deacon and Martin, who'd teased her mercilessly until she finally grabbed the boy and pressed her lips to his, firmly. The kiss had meant nothing to her; it had only served to make things awkward between them for the next two days until they got over it.

This kiss was not like that one. This kiss was hot and feverish and passionate and…Kate had never felt anything before such as this kiss. And she wanted more. But, to her disappointment, Joshua had other plans. Instead of continuing to kiss her, he turned her around in his arms, bending her over a shorter pile, his body pressing insistently against Kate's back as her pushed her firmly down with it, her breasts flattening against the rough, un-sanded wood.

His hands left her then, but Kate didn't move as she heard the belt buckle on his trousers clink and drop to the ground. The next thing she knew, her own trousers and pants were tugged down to her knees and something hot was pressing against her…oh.

Kate's mind immediately went to Esposito and Deacon's embarrassed explanation of a man's…thing, as they had so elegantly put it, and how it would enter a woman's…

Kate gasped and hissed simultaneously as Joshua entered her, her nails digging into the splintering wood at some unforeseen pain.

"Wait!" she husked when she felt him begin to move. "Please, just wait for a second."

Joshua paused, his body tense. "My lord, are you a…?"

"No!" Kate lied. "It's just…it's been a long time, you see? Just…give me a moment."

She could feel the tension radiating off of him, his fingers digging into her hip, but bless him, he waited until the need for him to move was stronger than the need for him to be still and she let him know that.

When he began moving again, Kate could swear that she was being lifted off the ground, floating into the high heavens with this godly feeling that he elicited in her with just his thing and those rough hands. Joshua grunted behind her, his hips gradually picking up speed until her was literally lifting her off the ground with the force of his thrusts. Kate felt herself getting closer and closer to some sort of…precipice. As ridiculous as it sounded, she feel as if she were about to fall over the edge of a ship—as if her balance were so bad that all it would take was one little push.

With a startle, she felt Joshua's finger snake down to touch her, pressing insistently against where they were joined until she could physically feel herself go over the edge, her body shaking with tremors even as she went limp, falling to rest her spent body on the box underneath her.

Not ten seconds later, Joshua let out a rather loud and strained grunt, his body pressing firmly against hers, before he slumped over her, placing a simple kiss on her neck before standing again. Kate's knees were too shaky to hold her wait and she just stayed there while he fixed himself up, before helping her up to get dressed. When both pairs of trousers were right and belted, Joshua leaned down, pressing a sweet kiss to Kate's lips.

"Come see me if you ever return, love," he said. "I'd really like to do this again sometime."

Kate grinned slyly up at him. "So would I," she replied, before placing one last kiss on his cheek and heading back into the marketplace, shivers still running up and down her entire body.

It was a feeling she'd never experience before. But one she'd soon familiarize herself with.

M PART OVER

In nearly every port, Kate had a man—or, on occasion, a lady friend—whom she would satisfy her longings with. None were married—she made sure of it—but all were older than her, and all welcomed her with open arms, satisfying her swiftly with each meeting.

But, there was still something missing for Kate. While all these lovers elicited this special feeling inside her when they were together, there was never a feeling of anticipation or excitement.

Just sexual longing; the knowledge that her needs would be met soon. It left her feeling quite…odd. Not bad, but strange. Like there was nothing there, for any of them, besides…sex.

And that was good, she supposed. Nothing to keep her from returning to her ship; nothing to keep her tied down or forlorn when they set off for a new port.

But, for reasons that didn't make sense to Kate, something inside her wanted that. She wanted somebody to spend her life with. Not like the boys or Lanie and the girls, or even Montgomery—they were family and she loved them as such, but they weren't…

The only thought that comes to mind when Kate thinks about what she's missing is that of her parents. Their love for each other was apparent all her life; the way her father used to twirl her mother around the kitchen after supper; the way her mother would press a kiss to his forehead every morning at breakfast.

That was the kind of love she wanted.

But, Kate feared, as she said goodbye to her latest tryst—a young man by the name of Tom—that was the kind of love she would never get.

CBCBCBCBCB

She was in the middle of charting out their trip to the Philippines when there was a knock at her door. She sighed; only five minutes on board and already there was a problem.

"Come in," she sighed, reaching for the bottle of rum at the far side of the desk. She was in the middle of a swig when Lanie popped her head in.

"Captain Beckett," Lanie greeted, saying the still relatively new title with her usual sarcasm, "we may have a new passenger."

"May?" Beckett asked, lifting one brow as she stood, resting her weight on her hands on the desk. "What do you mean by that? Is there somebody I'm not aware of on my ship?"

"Yes, Captain," Lanie replied honestly, refusing to cower under her friend's glare. "But he is here by my invitation only. He wishes to speak to you." While Lanie's accent had somewhat lessened over the years when Kate had taught her how to read and write, her elongated vowels and the occasionally drop of her 'h's still revealed her Caribbean roots.

Kate sighed, grabbing her hat—the one that was once the captain's—and her cutlass, fastening it on her hip as she motioned for Lanie to precede her out of the room.

The shorter woman led her down the hall and up the stairs to the deck, where she could see a man—young, but still a couple of years older than herself—standing there, holding…a baby?

No; a toddler. With fiery orange-red hair in a tangled mess, face pressed into his—of her?—father's neck. He was mumbling something to her, but paused, mid-sentence as his eyes—brilliant blue in the sunlight—landed on her and Kate almost smirked at the sight of his jaw dropping, comedically.

"Captain Beckett," Lanie said, as they stopped in front of him, "this is…I'm sorry, sir, but what is your name again?"

The man didn't answer, his eyes locked on Kate, decidedly below her chin, and she had to bite back another grin. This man, she could tell, was once handsome, but hair had grown all over his face, obscuring his handsome features with wiry tufts of light brown. His clothes, as well as his child's, didn't look well kept either.

He startled when Lanie raised her voice, his eyes tearing from Kate's bosom to the darker woman's face. Lanie openly smirked at him. "What is your name?" she requested, slowly, as if the man were an imbecile.

Richard Castle, he said, his voice breaking slightly. And his daughter's name was Alexis. At the sound of her name, Alexis turned, hitting both women with startling blue eyes, as bright as her father's. Lanie, who absolutely adored any small creature, waved at her and the girl turned shyly back into her father's neck. He rubbed her back, smiling apologetically at Lanie, who gave him a soft smile.

Well, she could see that the man had at least one vote in his favor. If not him, then the tiny being in his arms.

"My name," Lanie said, "is Lanie Parish. And this," she motioned to Kate, "is Captain Beckett."

Kate raised her head, allowing him to finally meet her eyes, which she'd made sure were obscured from his sight by her hat; an attempt to keep a little mystery between them. His eyes widened as they met hers.

"It's nice to meet you," Kate said, confidently, on half-lying. "Now…what are you doing on my ship?"

"I…I…I…" the man stuttered, looking down as if attempting to find some kind of reason. He's interrupted, however, by a sad mewl from his daughter.

"Papa, hungry," Alexis whimpers, her hand clenching on his shirt. Castle's face drops and Kate could swear that he is near tears. For some reason, this causes her heart to squeeze tightly in her chest, though she keeps a straight face as she turns to her friend and ship mate.

"Lanie, go fetch some bread and water for Mr. Castle and his child, please. We'll be eating down in the dining room." Lanie nodded and went off to get what she was asked for. Kate noticed a few other ship mates, including Tory and Javier, staring at her. She frowned at them. "Go," she said, "have Antonio and Jenny start on supper. Mr. Castle will be joining us."

"I will?" Castle asked, his eyes wide. Kate turned to him, keeping her face expressionless.

"You don't want to?" she asked, lifting one brow. He shook his head furiously, before changing his mind and nodding.

"I do," he said. "I want to stay. We need to stay," he added, looking down at his daughter, who'd taken to sucking on her thumb. He sighed, running his hand through the knots in her hair.

"Then follow me," Kate said, curtly, before turning on her heel and walking towards the door. Castle sighed and followed, continuing to stroke his daughter's back as he went, praying that this meant that their lives were looking up.

He didn't know what he would do if it didn't.

REVIEWS please! Also, as you can tell, this story took a sharp turn into M-rated. It was not planned, but I think it turned out….okay. Despite it being Josh, I mean. Anyway, that will hopefully be the last we see of him, but you never know. The muse likes to torture me sometimes…much like Beckett tortures Castle, only less sexy.