Still Breathing chapter 3
Act 3
Mothergub
000
The best thing, Hope decided, about a private Jet over commercial, aside from the better food, leg room and comfortable seating, was that they didn't care were one sat. No demands to put on belts or to put trays up.
Which as they came in for a landing was a good thing. Hope was seated on Gamzee's lap. The troll having flung a blanket over her head and held her close as she shivered through an episode. Seeing strange trolls, hearing voices. She was struck mute by the press of unfamiliar words.
Little Tavros sat beside Gamzee leaning against him and Hope, humming softly but this was beyond his own abilities and he was scared.
"It's ok" Gamzee told the little troll as the jet pulled to a stop on the runway. "We'll take her to the Mothergrub, she'll start to get better, ok?"
Tav just nodded as mute as Hope at the moment.
The jet stopped and the staff got the doors open. When Karkat poked his head out first ahead of the others he blinked as there was a van waiting on the tarmac for them. The Highblood really did have everything prepared and arranged for them.
So between him and Jade they got the kid shuffled down the steps and loaded into the van while Gamzee carried out Hope in his arms and Tavros hung over his shoulder. The two trolls looked tired and miserable and nothing could be seen of Hope who was still tucked up in a blanket and blocked from the light.
The flight had not been a good one for Hope, she had been airsick which triggered another episode. The van was at least big enough to hold them all, and their luggage was being packed into a second smaller car that was brought. The drivers were both human, but as incredibly bright as it was made perfect sense, The trolls were more than willing to get into the tinted window van and out of the incredibly bright afternoon sun of brazil. Sirius though decided to run. He was off loaded from the back of the jet where the opening was larger than the exit by the front. And once out of the cramped location he was not going to let himself be stuffed into another cramped location even for the shorter trip.
He gave the trolls enough of a feeling to know he could perfectly well keep pace with them to the new location. Which Jade informed the other drivers who had been trying to figure out how to fit Sirius.
At first they seemed unsure, but she smiled "He's smarter than he looks." Which earned her a bump in the back from the Lusus.
When they were loaded and their bags all loaded as well the two cars drove off. Eridan and Feferi were in the back with Eric trading the glasses they had recently gotten. Eridan's eyes had begun burning from trying to focus on land, so they got him fitted with glasses. The boy was utterly relieved and since they got him a pair they did Feferi at the same time. She's spent the whole car ride home after she gotten them going "Look! Trees! Is that a cow? HORSIES!"
So the pair were flipping glasses trying to decide who's eyes were worse on land. Eric just laughed at the pair of them as he said Eridan's glasses made Fef look like a nerd.
Eridan crossed his arms and gave a pout "Then what they make me look like?"
"A nerd" the other two chimed together and Jade had to reach over to keep the children from attempting to start shenanigans in the back of the van.
Ana was quiet staring out the window and petting back Tav's hair as the young troll rested his head on her lap, snuggled between her and Jade in the middle seats. The front more bucket seats of the three rows of seats in the back of the van, Karkat and Gamzee sat. Gamzee was leaned back in his chair and holding Hope. They had offered to set the human in her own seat but he just growled and refused to relinquish his hold on her.
It was not that long of a ride to the place they were going to. A small beach home that was new construction and a more hive-like look to it. Very few windows for one thing. Which even the humans felt a little grateful for getting out of the bright and very warm afternoon sun. The drivers brought in their things as everyone looked around the new dwellings.
The front block was an entrance area that had three halls running off in angled directions. One side lead towards general communal living accommodations, something that was a nod towards familiarity for humans. The 'living room' 'family rooms' and 'kitchen' over the sorts of blocks that a troll would have had back in their home world. But again, this was also now familiar to the young trolls who never had to build their own hive with their lusus. There was a half bath. The second hall led towards the back of the house and more recreational and did have huge windows that were currently shuttered, but viewed the ocean. There was even a salt water swimming pool and another smaller pool that came in from the ocean. Eridan's Lusus was already there. Bobbing happily in the water, leaning against the side of the pool was Sirius who was flopped down panting in the shade of the garden trees. The children peeked out and gave a wave to the lusii before closing the shutters again to block the light. The remaining hall had the respite blocks, or bedrooms. This place was not outfitted with coons, but the bed were all very reminiscent. There were four such rooms. Two stacked above the two below and a spiral staircase leading up. The children claimed the upper ones. The girls on one side and the boys on the other. Feferi and Ana agreed they would get along for Hope's sake. Even Tav got back some of his energy as he bounced with the other children along the beds everyone testing them out and figuring out which one was going to be their own. On the boy's side. Eridan and Eric took the bunks that were built into the wall, and Tavros took the more daybed styled coon shape. He found it most comforting and it had easier access to the door without disturbing the others if the young troll was needed to help with Hope.
The girl's side, they argued over the coon daybed, but in the end Feferi got it and Ana took the bunk. Karkat and Jade had been afraid that they would have to remove the third bed from the room if the girls had not come to an agreement.
As soon as the kids were settled in their new rooms they were also promptly put down for naps. Which after the long flight and the car ride, they did fall into with little argument. Jade dropped her stuff in one of the downstairs rooms and went to start preparing food for later. She was wired while everyone else was starting to drag from jetlag and long flights.
Karkat sighed and watched Gamzee go into the other room with Hope. He had no hope of his own of being able to separate the larger troll from the human. They were already pretty much sharing a room back in their own home. Unlike with the rooms above there were only two beds in the lower rooms. One larger bed and a coon styled daybed like the kids had above. Flopping into the coon styled one Karkat settled and decided Jade could have the bigger one, this was perfect.
And he was out pretty quickly.
000
Jade went for something easy, she made sandwiches that could be stored in the frig and eaten whenever everyone was up. She poked her head into the rooms. Karkat was curled up looking much like one of the kids himself, which made her grin, and upstairs the children were all in various positions of 'passed out'. Gamzee was curled around Hope in the room he claimed. He opened one eye and gave a low rumble, to which she had only stuck her tongue out at him.
But that made the larger troll break into a grin and Jade left them alone to rest. After making sure luggage was in the correct rooms she went to the one she was going to share with Karkat and pulling out her phone shot a message off to Sollux to pass onto the Highblood.
We got here safe asshole. Let the worrywart know. She typed out and was surprised when there was a slight vibration in return fairly quickly.
hehe wiill do.
She snorted at least there was only a couple hour time zone different, but she wondered if that guy ever slept sometimes. Jade didn't bother replying, just set the phone aside and curled up on the large bed after she set her glasses with her phone.
000
Nightfall, Jade stayed with the children at the residence they had use of while Karkat took Gamzee, Hope and Tavros down to the hive.
This was a much more hidden location and very reminiscent of the old egg hive caverns. There was a fenced portion but unlike the ones built in the states no one had built any building over the tunnels. As things looked as well this was likely natural caves that were given new use. They saw a few vats of sopor slime being cultivated before they found the entrance to the hive.
No indigos or purples stood guard here either. Instead they were met at the entrance by a distracted looking Jade. Who stopped them.
"We don't take human material." The hive attendant started looking at the little group with confusion. More when he noticed the pupa with them.
"This is the Lusus Hope." Karkat stated.
The attendant looked more confused for a moment before his face cleared up "OH! I am terribly sorry! YES! We were expecting you. Look, can she walk? I'm sorry but with security being a bit tight we can only let her and her pupa in. You two will have to wait outside."
Gamzee started to bristle and growl but Karkat rested a hand on his arm "We can fucking wait, just she can't walk and Tavros can't carry her."
The jade blooded troll came closer ignoring Gamzee's posturing and growling as he shifted the wrappings around the pale and cold Hope.
"Wow, I've heard of rejections, but this is nasty. She's lost in dreams. I wonder if she's traveling someone's dreambubble? It should be fascinating to hear about if she survives. I mean a human in a troll's…" he trailed off finally realizing that Gamzee had gone from a warning growl to an outright snarl, the attendants eyes very large as the hassled troll finally realized the danger he put himself in.
Karkat rolled his eyes and smacked Gamzee in the head making the troll snap his head towards him and then with a blink he calmed himself. He was still not willing to release Hope, but finally did with another whack from Karkat who started calling him names until he grinned at his moirail and went off on some tangent to distract his friend from his increasingly creative string of obscenities.
The Jade decided to call over someone else to carry the human, he was surprised when his call was answered by one of the Queens. The tall imposing blue blood who came into view. She was built in a way that made her look like she could take on Gamzee, or even the Highblood, and come out on top. Every inch of her corded muscle. She wasn't with eggs at the moment so she was likely on a break cycle.
"Beleza!" the Jade said and then bowed to her as she waved him off. She was bedecked in silver. Semi and precious gems had been imbedded into her flesh in the form of a crown of her position. Her horns had been shaved and pigment dyed into them in patterns the tips capped with a white gold and a silvery and white gold corded chain hung between. Her dress was a simple silken blue shift that hung front and back with cords holding it in place. Her wrists and ankles covered in more jewelry. She wore no rings, nor did she bother with shoes.
"I can take the human Lusus to the egg chamber. The Mother will see her." She said with a differential nod towards Gamzee, though being a Queen technically put her high enough in the caste to answer to none except the Empress.
But maybe being given a bit of regard from a Queen was what was needed to let Gamzee release his hold upon Hope. Handing over the human to the blue blood, who took the human as if she were holding something precious and fragile, which considering the strength of the blue bloods, it was very likely the case, he stepped back.
Tavros glanced up at Karkat who shooed the boy "You were told you could go with her, so go. Once of us should."
Tavros nodded and went after, the blue Queen waited by the entrance and with another nod to the two trolls she disappeared into the hive with the human and young Pupa.
"Wonder why they didn't let us go along?" Gamzee said flopping back against the rocky wall by the entrance.
"Likely security. Our Hive didn't have as full a set up, no Queens for one just the mother grub and some attendants. So they needed more help. Plus this place is a lot more remote. I don't think they need quite the security watches we needed in the states."
Gamzee though paused and looked up "No, they got motherfucking security" he said and a head popped out glaring at them.
"…. NEPETA?" Karkat stared in shock. He thought she'd died. Everyone thought she'd died.
But there she was, the olive blooded troll clung to the rockface above them, long claws attached to her hands and a look of murder in her eyes.
"You god damn fucker!" she lept down.
After Gamzee.
Who stepped to the side and avoided her lung. His face gone cold.
"Wha-Wait! NEPETA!" Karkat reached out to try and grab the cat like feral before she lunged again, but missed her.
"You nearly killed me and then left me there! YOU KILLED TAVROS!" She went in after Gamzee and the other just kept dodging back out of the way. But his eyes were taking on a reddish color.
"Fucking SHIT woman!" And Karkat dove tackling the crazed troll from behind before she could trigger a murderous rage in Gamzee.
She yowled and then began hissing and spitting curses at Karkat. Who after long practice taking down Gamzee could keep her down. Gamzee for his part backed off and left the region. Walking off towards the nearby beach for the time being. Leaving Karkat to take care of the angry troll.
At the moment, Karkat was both glad for since it would give him a better chance of calming her down, and pissed as fuck for being left alone to deal with this mess.
How does one deal with a troll he once thought dead and was suddenly very much alive and….
He wasn't sure how she managed to get her knee between his legs when he'd pinned her legs at the ankles with the way he'd held his knees and ankles over her own legs. But suddenly one of her legs was free and he was seeing stars in the most painful way possible.
"God damn fuck…." He wheezed refusing to release his hold as his head fell down by her shoulder. She turned her head and was pulling on his hair with her teeth. All she could reach at the moment. He at least kept his head turned so she couldn't try ripping off one of his ears.
By the time he got his breath back, she had gone still and was just glaring at him. He sat back his hands locked on her wrists to keep her from using her claws on him. Either her natural ones or the set of metal ones polished to an eerie blue.
At least he was sitting on her now and she wasn't likely to be able to kick him again. She could kick her knee into his back all she wanted he wasn't budging.
"Calm down!"
Finally the young troll began to calm, to stop struggling and she stared up at him with a gaze that twisted his blood pump. "Nepeta, the kitten eyes are not going to work right now. I know you just want to get up and go after Gamzee again."
Her olive eyes narrowed and her face darkened then she was snarling curses at him. Yep, he nailed it.
"He killed everyone.."
"Only a few."
"He killed Tavros!"
"that was my fault. I am sorry, and I am more sorry he hurt you. I thought… " Karkat took a breath lowering his head "I thought you were dead too, and I just, I hid. I hid away instead of stopping him. I could of, and after it was over I kept him calm, but it's my fault. I got scared, and I failed everyone. Letting one of my best friends go crazy… He didn't mean to hurt Tav though Nepeta. It was accidental. He was starting to lose it and I hid away instead of standing up to my responsibilities, Tavros was trying to do the work of two quadrants and he was never very good at take downs. Gamzee had hit him before he even knew he was there. That was what made him loose it Nepeta. Tavros' death."
She went quiet. Staring up at Karkat, biting her lip "I… was in bad shape" she whispered, "I crawled away… he ripped off my tail…" her words soft. Shaking. Karkat glanced up at her and saw her reliving the fear "no one came for me. They found me after we landed, feverish, hurt, I was nearly culled if not for the human rescue crew. They got me medical, and" she looked away "I came here, because it was as far as my money would take me. I… never wanted to see him again." She closed her eyes tightly "One of the Queens found me when they were setting up this hive. They brought me here and I've been working ever since. Part of the defense core."
Karkat looked around "And why are they not here then?" he was wondering now if he had to worry about either Gamzee taking them all out for fun or if he'd end up with a bullet in the think pan.
She grumped "because they told me if I insisted on going after Gamzee they were not going to save me. Since he's second to the Grand Highblood."
Karkat didn't want to relax, but he did. So no one was shooting him then. Gamzee's position likely carried benefits over to his moirail, since few would likely be wanting to upset someone of Gamzee's rank and noted viciousness.
"Why is it that after what he did he goes on like nothing happened?" she suddenly cried and Karkat sighed. First removing her claws them shifting back which let the other troll sit up.
And she wrapped her arms around him and started to howl into his shoulder. He hugged her tightly in return.
"It hasn't, been like that" he told her softly. "I'm sorry I did not look for you. I'm sorry that I failed you too. I failed all of us."
And he held her tightly. Petting back her hair and wondering when she lost her silly hat and long green coat.
She'd changed, like they all had. He just hoped he could make things up to her.
000
Tavros followed the Queen down into the hive. This one was a lot different than the one he pupated in. It was darker for one thing, not as much of the lichen growing near the entrance. And there were no doored off chambers, nor any toys.
"Did you guys hear about the toys?" he asked looking up at the Queen who carried his Hope. She glanced down at him.
"We are still a traditional facility here." She responded "Stay close, any Lusii in the area will not attack a Queen but they might still go after a pupa who's lusus is weak."
The boy gave a shudder and grabbed hold of the Queen's back skirt to keep himself close to her. She glanced at him with amusement but continued on.
"You have some healing skill." She said as they finally began to reach areas were the walls were covered in the glowing lichen. No grubs to be seen and only the glowing golden orbs of a few random Lusii watching from the shadows.
Tav decided he really much preferred their Hive and was glad that he had been hatched there, and more glad that he had gotten Hope so early. Because this place was scary, and put him on edge. If he had to come back he was bringing one of the juggling pins. He really did not like being unarmed in this place.
The young one half jumped when he heard a sickening scream of an angry grub and then silence.
This was not a nice place for grubs he decided. No toys, or adults protecting them. He had a feeling that the grubs in this place would be a lot meaner. They would have to be, just to survive long enough to pupate. And the lack of protection meant the meaner Lusus who were not really interested in taking care of a young troll and just wanted to kill things also crowding more into this place.
And this was traditional? Tav had a feeling the survival rate of this place was not good, and being there were so few hives available to the water dwellers, also explained why their numbers were so much smaller than the land dwelling trolls.
He realized that the Queen was waiting for him to respond to her statement "Um, I guess? I really don't know what it is I do."
"Mental healer, likely only brought to power because of your Lusus' need. We have another Jade here who has a similar skill and we will introduce you." She told him "You can at least get some basic training."
Training, like, teaching? Tavros rather liked that idea. If he could actually know what he was doing, perhaps he could be able to do more for Hope? And if he got teaching, would that mean that he could even help others? That would be really cool.
But this time the Queen didn't seem to expect an answer, so he just remained silent.
When they got closer to the egg chambers Tav relaxed marginally. More adults were wandering about. Mostly Jade blooded trolls, but periodically an olive or other color who were among the attendants, mostly in aid to the Jades.
He also saw a couple lit side chambers that held bedecked female trolls like the one he walked with. A crossed the hemospectrum. He noticed that the central chamber they were circling had at least a half dozen of these lit rooms and another dozen or so that had occupants but were not lit. They had so many Queens, but could not spare one for their hive that had been blown up?
He kept his thoughts to himself just watching at they came around to the entrance to the entrance and he saw the Mothergrub.
She was, beautiful. Like a lunar moth, with luminescent wings. He wondered if she ever was allowed to fly with those wings? She looked up at him and while there was no expression, something in her large golden orbs felt, kindly. He let go of the Queen and was before the mothergrub, his arms outstretched, and before anyone could stop, the grab reached out and pulled him close against the softness of her feathery fur. She made a soft chittering sound and much like when Sirius purred, he had a feeling of safety and protection.
And she sang to him.
It was a sound he could never duplicate but it was so, beautiful.
Heart achingly so.
There was so much there he did not understand but under it was things he could. She never was allowed to fly.
He hugged her and found himself taking that feeling when they were in the plane, so recent a memory. There was no air under his body or other things he'd been reading about in books from the library, but there was that weightlessness, the pressure the way the plane banked around the clouds and the images he kept with him from staring outside entranced until Hope's condition and his worry stole that happiness from him.
But he gave that to the Mothergrub. Gave it and everything else his mind could conjure up. She clicked and purred aprecitively and released him, he felt his feet touch the ground gently as she lowered him back down.
Then she clicked and held out her insect like arms. Taking Hope from the Queen, bringing her as close as she had brought Tav. Closer as she rested her head upon Hope's and closed those beautiful eyes. A strange sound came and he realized that the Mothergrub was singing again, but the undercurrent was Hope's voice.
A hand laid on Tav's shoulder and he looked up at a smiling face of one of the attendants. "She'll be fine." He said softly to the boy "Come, Tavros Newell is it?"
Tav nodded and let the adult lead him from the chamber. Several Queens were watching the scene between mothergub and human-lusus. Tav was led to another side chamber that came out to another large chamber with rooms off it. There were other trolls here, lounging on scattered furniture or large pillows, some stood, others were eating in little groupings.
"We'll go to my private chambers" the troll he was with told him and led him to another set of rooms. It was like a whole house. Or at least a very comfortable set of apartments. A large round room that had a spiraling ramp that made Tav think that he was on the inside of a shell. A colorful wall of glass was back lit giving the room a very warm friendly feel. There was even a garden. The whole ceiling was giving a warm glow as well.
If Tav had to live underground for the rest of his life, this would actually be very nice to come back to.
"One of the perks of this job, they do let us design our own accommodations. We get some space limits but well that just means you have to get creative." The toll laughed and walked to a circle of chairs around a coral like structure that was lit up and had a piece of glass sitting on top of it making it into a very interesting looking coffee table. He sat down so Tav took that as a cue that he should as well. Sitting a crossed from the other.
"I am afraid I do not keep much to drink that would be suitable for one your age." He apologized.
"Water is good." Tavros responded. He was nervous enough that he'd rather have one of Gamzee's faygos. Maybe when they got back to the house he could beg one off the adult.
"Right" the troll bounced to his feet and soon came back with a tall tumblr of ice water and another drink for himself. It smelled strongly of booze. Tav couldn't place which one, it was very interesting but didn't smell like anything they had at the house or that the other adults would have on their breath when they came home from Trillians some nights.
The other troll took a drink and set the glass down and sighed "Well it's going to be a bit in there. The Mothergrub will have a lot of sorting to go through to help your Lusus, let alone she has to figure out just what the other Mothergrub had done."
Tav nodded. Still silent. The other adult leaned back in the seat and picked bits of imaginary lint from his green robes, "Yeah, um… Well I'm Vierge. You seem to be developing a few healing abilities from what I've been told. It's a rare ability." He gave the boy a grin.
"I seem to be some sort of mental healer form what everyone says." Tavros verified.
"Likely it focused itself because of the danger your Lusus was in. Being what was going on with her is all in her head so to speak." He responded with a rather sad pun that made the boy stare at him.
Then Tav snorted and the adult looked happy.
"Let's see if we can see what the extent and direction of your power shall we?"
So while Hope was being cared for by the Mothergrub, Tav got his first lesson in controlling the power he had.
000
Author notes: Right, just to add again since it's been awhile. THESE ARE POSTED IN THE RAW. I do very little to them other than a cursory inspection for some spelling, grammar and any glaring errors. If you spot an error just remember, there is a pile of beta'd work I just haven't gotten a chance to upload. (Since I have to put back the titles, and notes and all that fun extra stuff as well as compare the old and new files and … work work work lol)
Artwork and side dabble fics, more info on the world of this AU from myself and various fanworks can be found on the tumblr page. Relearning2breath . tumblr . com and stillbreathiing . tumblr . com