Still Breathing

Act 3

Chapter 4

Eventful Meetings

000

Notes: Just to put it up here, my update times have been slowed horribly because of multiple reasons. Biggest being my computer. My graphic drivers keep crashing and I am currently in bad need of a new Win 7 disk, as my computer never came with a recovery disk and the making one option didn't work.

The company I have gotten the computer from is not answering calls. I may try calling Microsoft, but not holding my breath over that option either.

So, I have to save money for a new disk, which is slowing my writing (and that is driving me nutball as well since it means my PAID work isn't getting done in a timely fashion either.)

And we are also getting into the holiday seasons here in the states. Holloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and Newyears. I shall be busy preparing costumes, cooking and preparing loads of menus and dinners… Until after the Newyears, which then I will be preparing for a huge feast for an SCA event. (if you like to know what SCA is, look up SCA . org)

Also during times when I can get my computer to work with me, I'm taking the beta'd chapters and getting them together with new artwork to load onto Ao3. So far the artwork will be contributed by myself and the talented Pip who did the beautiful piece for the cover art for this story.

There may also end up being additions and some of the dabbles may make their way into the revised chapters.

Also debating about posting the dabble fics.

As always for further world information, bonus art, fanworks and stories and to ask questions of the cast or myself please visit my tumblrs. With relearning2breath . tumblr . com (no spaces of course) or for the dabble and art visit stillbreathiing . tumblr . com (and yes that's 2 I's in breathing)

000

Tavros sat at the table sipping on a soda and picking at his food. Hope was showing signs of improvement.

Sort of.

She began to act, well almost more like a lusus. Sirius said that it seemed the Mothergrub was sorting her out by suppressing parts of her and bringing out other bits of whatever was layered. Trying to find the memories of the prior Mothergrub.

But it seemed that one was hiding, not wanting to leave Hope.

In a way, Tav could understand, it would be a lot like dying wouldn't it?

But it meant his Mom was not really there right now. There was a smiling creature who cuddled him, purred and sang and stroked his hair. Who didn't seem to recognize anyone else and was breaking Gamzee's heart.

There was a troll, who seemed to want to cuddle Karkat like the Lusus wanted Tavros. One who spoke in a kindly manor but seemed to be, lost, somehow. Staring down at her hands and into the mirror as if she was trying to recognize the person there staring back.

And somewhere there was Hope. His Mom and Gamzee's other half.

Tavros really wanted this to end soon, to be able to have his Mom back, always. Not this splitting of personalities into different people. The Troll was kind, but not his Mom, the Lusus was attentive but hardly human, and he wasn't use to a lusus like Ana and Eridan were. He always had a human mother.

They were very different creatures.

He pushed his food out of the way and flopped his head into the folds of his arms on the tabletop. The other kids were all outside swimming with Sirius and the Seahorse Lusus, (No one had gotten a name from him. Even Sirius said he refused to give up a name to him. But he couldn't 'talk' to Eridan like Sirius could talk to Ana. So the seadweller couldn't get a name from him either. So he just called him 'Dad') he was inside, Gamzee was currently trying to interest Hope in a game. The woman was curled up beside him on the couch. She seemed only half there. But Gamzee kept trying.

Tav was glad of that, because he had no energy anymore. Between his cram sessions of lessons in the Hive with the others tending the Mothergrub.

But Tavros was also not so sure about the place. Aside from the face he never went unarmed there anymore. (There had been no attacks as of yet. Most Lusus will respect a Queen, especially Beleza, who was able to crack glass with a flick of her pinkie.) There just seemed, too many Queens and attendants. Well he really didn't know much about the other hives, but he remembered the adults talking about how hard it was finding replacement Queens for their destroyed hive, and with the need for Seadweller compatable egg hives, they had no choice but to rebuild.

But he counted over the last week sixteen queens, most of whom were not even with egg, and there were more Queen doors for housing around the Mothergrub chamber.

And Vierge told him about the numbers of support for the Queens and staff at this hive.

The numbers, seemed oddly, high, for an egg hive in comparison to everyone else crying that they needed more help. Hell, when their new hive was done they currently had only the mothergrub, a troll named Kanaya who agreed to turn early and one attendant, a human named Lucy.

A Human was going to be tending to the Mothergrub, because everyone said they had no one to spare.

And according to Vierge they had no less than ten attendants per each Queen, the Mothergrub had twenty plus the Queens. Then there were the others from the various security and such who wandered the premises.

So not counting grubs and lusus, there was some three hundred trolls in one place.

And Jade bloods were not that common, let alone males like Vierge and Tavros were very rare. Tav had only met two others, and both of them where at this hive.

"You seem lost in thought, lessons tough?" Jade asked taking a chair next to Tavros. The boy looked up at her from his arm fold and sighed.

Sitting back he reached up to chew on his thumb nail. It was a bad habit, sharp troll teeth tended to wear things ragged, and his nail was showing signs of suffering for his chewing habits. Maybe he should ask for some gum or something?

"They are.. OK, I'm trying to stuff as Vierge says 'years into days' so its bound to be hard sometimes. That's not what's bothering me though." He admitted, maybe telling an adult about some of the things he'd been seeing might help.

"Oh?" Karkat came over pulling a bottled something from the frig that when he popped the cap smelled of fermented adult stuff. Thus no interest to Tavros.

"It's the hive, there are… well a lot of Queens there. I mean, I met 16….. Karkat?" Tavros blinked and Jade jumped when there was a crash. Even Gamzee came to see what was going on.

The other troll had turned the bottle in his hand and broke it on the counter. "You counted how many Tavros?" his voice was calm, but red was showing around his contacts and Tavros felt himself retreating into his chair. He'd never thought he would ever be scared of Karkat, who yelled a lot but never raised a hand against the kids for more than a light slap up the side of the head if they were about to do something stupid.

But at the moment he looked as if he was about to murder someone and didn't know who.

"Um, well, I counted 16, but there could be more.. And Vierge told me that each queen had 10 attendants and there were twenty for the Mothergrub." Tavros got it out as fast as he could before his voice faded to nothing.

Karkat grabbed up his phone and left the room. But they could all hear him screaming through the walls.

"GET THAT FUCKING ASSHOLE CLOWN ON THE PHONE!" he shouted.

Gamzee looked at the other two and Tavros could only stare back with very wide eyes.

Jade coughed "Well, so is that all that's bothering you?" she asked.

"SIXTEEN! FUCKING SIXTEEN QUEENS WHEN EVERYONE ELSE BEEN MAKING DUE WITH LESS THAN A HALF DOZEN? LET ALONE THE EUROPE HIVE ONLY HAS THREE BECAUSE THEY HAVE A MOTHERGRUB!"

"um, well…" Tavros swallowed "I mean, it just seemed weird that they have so many but well, I only saw two of them doing anything other than laying about or tending the Mothergrub. And, they don't have any toys, Beleza told me that they were a traditional hive, but… The lusus there are scary! Most of them just come to kill the grubs!" the boy shuddered remembering seeing the little maroon grub who had been cornered by a pair of lusus.

He'd hoped maybe the little one would have managed to beat one or something, but when they left all that had been in that spot was a long stain along the wall and floor. The sweet smell of troll blood in the air and the clicking laughter of lusus nearby. He heard so many screams, they were starting to haunt his dreams at night.

Gamzee gave a disgusted snort. Jade looked up at him.

"Traditional, meaning they turn away a good portion of those who come seeking to pass on their genetics with their motherfucking partners. It was in a way a form of population control back on our homeworld but right now we are just trying to build our numbers. Turning any troll away is motherfucking stupidity."

"The lusus are really mean too. I think many just come to kill grubs because they like it."

Gamzee rubbed his head "I'll be back, going to go tell Sirius and Eridan's annoying fish to keep the kids from wandering off. If we got phsyco lusus and likely trolls, running about this area we want to keep our guard up." He headed outside.

Jade patted Tav's shoulder "You did right telling us." She told him kissing his forehead.

She got up as well, getting a gun and calmly loading the weapon.

Tavros got up and went to the other room. Hope was stretched out on a couch sleeping it seemed. He went to her side and stroked back her hair humming softly.

She trilled and grinned at him. Opening sleepy eyes. Pulling his head close she half purred and rested her head against his own. He purred back at her and sighed. It was just strange hearing her making sounds that were such a close approximation of the sounds a lusus made to its young.

"Mom…." He said softly resting his head against her chest and she wrapped her arms around him, humming that it would all be ok.

He wasn't so sure of that.

000

"Right, so The Highblood said that for the moment we keep what we know to ourselves. Keep a closer eye on things and any evidence we can find we can bring back with us. As soon as we're out of this place he'll come down with the rest of the district highbloods and come down on this place like a ton of bricks." Karkat was telling the group. They all sat together in the livingroom. The kids all sat on the floor together.

For they were all going to be taking a tour of the hive soon.

Feferi being the Empress had a right to see the Hive, because of her situation she and Eric couldn't be separated for that long. Eridan was Prince and thus held a position similar to Feferi's, thus he would be allowed.

Tavros was still taking lessons and had to go with Hope and in the end, well all the adults felt that having Ana there and armed to the teeth with Sirius backing her was more than a good idea considering the situation and this hive's lack of progression. Jade would be happier if she could go with her son, but she was not on the book as a Lusus thus had no rights to demand anything. And while Feferi likely could make demands herself, it was better to not antagonize the situation and just trust the kids could handle themselves.

"You should see if you can get anything from Nepeta." Gamzee commented to Karkat. He was lounged back in the couch stroking Hope's hair. She seemed to be more herself at the moment with the way she was hugging her knees, but she also hadn't a clue what they were talking about at the moment.

"I'll try, but she's still dead set on killing you Gamzee."

"Not interested in a kismesis." He said in boredom.

Karkat just slapped his forehead and looked towards the ceiling "I highly doubt she'd touch you anyway." He informed his friend.

"Can we carry on before you two devolve into insults?" Jade said politely.

Gamzee just chuckled at her and she flipped him off.

Karkat held up his hand to forestall anything more "Right, so we'll check every avenue we can. Jade, if you will, check in town. Find out what the humans think of this hive, Gamzee and I will be talking with the trolls. You guys" and he looked at the kids "Will be invading the hive from the inside since beside you Hope, Sirius and Eri's Dad are all that's allowed inside."

"Yeah, and my dad isn't much for talking." Eri said with a sigh. He was still a good sort, just not very talkative and rather temperamental at times. While he could leave the water he tended to prefer to stay there. Eridan didn't blame him, he seemed to have some of the same issues Eridan did for seeing on land. Worse likely with as many times as he would dip back down into the water. Sirius suggested that if he used a light harness he could help direct his dad when he had to be out of the water.

Eridan felt a little weird about the idea of putting a rope on his dad, but even his dad agreed it wouldn't be too bad an idea.

They would likely work out the details of how to communicate. Ana spoke up suddenly "Sirius says that Eri's dad says he'll talk with any of the other sea dwelling Lusii in the area."

Karkat nodded and then sighed "Well kids, time to go." The sun was sinking over the horizon, so it was time to all head out for their various places and see what they could dig up. Everything they got over the next week or so would be gathered together and sent to the Grand Highblood to present before the other trolls in charge of the other districts.

Several districts that wanted hives and had not been able to get one because of lack of resources would be most interested in this news, and those with hives would also be interested as they desperately needed the help to give their own current Queens breaks. Before the strain either killed them or sent them into their lusus states early.

Until the population as stable they needed them to help them survive. While thousands of eggs were laid in a year, half of them died. Then another half or more died before they even pupated. More died as they tried to pupate, and a few more died shortly after pupation. And that was without lusus or other trolls killing them. Of pupas who actually made it to adult hood from any given hive was little more than a handful. From their old world they were fine with the low numbers. Between the longer lived highbloods and the lusus available to care for a young grub, (as more trolls died before reaching their lusus stage, as well as those who die before they can complete the change. Since like the changes seen between a grub becoming a troll, a troll to a lusus was just as extreme a change.) there had to be a way to sort and choose. Among the higher bloods forcing little grubs to battle each other or even their proposed lusus was often the way of things. The lower bloods didn't have to fight but their numbers were kept in check because of the violence of their culture. How little rights the low bloods had.

Then thanks to their prior Empress the mutations that showed up were weeded out and either shunned until they were unable to provide their buckets for the drones, or were found and killed before that.

Most lusus did not even bother taking a mutant blood as their charge. As often they would be killed right along with their little one if discovered.

Jade headed down to town, one assumed that Eridan's Lusus went for a swim to see if he could locate anyone.

Gamzee gave support to Hope. The kids walked together and Karkat walked along with Sirius, his hand resting on the large shaggy head as they seemed to be in a deep conversation that was utterly silent on both their parts.

They reached the entrance. The jade blood Vierge was waiting for them and smiled brightly.

"Vierge, this is Feferi, Eric, Eridan , Anatol and Sirius." The boy introduced his friends.

Vierge bowed to them "It is such a pleasure to have so many esteemed visitors." He told them and led the children in. Sirius walking along behind, his long tail swishing lazily, Hope had been placed up on his back and was curled up looking small and vulnerable.

Gamzee watched until they turned a corner and were out of his view.

Then he leaned against the entrance and waited.

Karkat went around the side to a small clearing, someone had set up a picnic table and a couple chairs. He could see a few of the very small Lusii hanging around.

He sat at the table and heard the soft steps as someone came up behind him.

Then Nepeta sat down beside him. "Hey," he said softly.

She made a soft murr sound in response but said nothing. Just sitting down and clasping her hands together on the table top.

Karkat coughed and tried to think of something to say to the other "So, do you have a place in the hive?" he asked finally.

She shook her head "I live down in the town." She responded "Only tendants live in the Hive, space issues."

"Really? Cause I know our hive before it got blown up, we had people rattling around in it. And the new one not going to be smaller." He told her.

She blinked "Huh, well with near 300, I sometimes wonder how there is room for the grubs here."

"Really, that many? I wonder how they got them." He said softly and leaned on crossed arms. He wanted to grill her, but he didn't want to push her.

"Karkat, what you trying to get at?" she asked him "You are really bad at being subtle."

He slapped his forehead and sighed "Fuck, well yeah I got asked to get a few numbers, because we have hives currently functioning with less than a dozen attendants and maybe at most a half Dozen Queens, the only other hive with a Mothergrub only has three Queens."

The girl went still and blinked "… and has there been a call?"

"The Grand Highblood will have to push a troll into her lusus state because we're sure she'll become a Mothergrub, because there are no other Queens and everyone, including here, claimed that they had none to spare."

"oh." Her voice was soft and she stared down at her hands. Deep in thought "That's, wrong. An overworked Queen could seriously hurt herself."

"Or die, and we can't afford to lose anymore, our species depends upon being able to successfully repopulate."

Nepeta closed her lips and stared down at her hands. "Just, how bad?" she asked.

"Five egg hives with only 3 to 6 Queens. And now, only one other Mothergrub. In a couple years time, as long as nothing goes wrong we will have a third again."

Nepeta was just, quiet. Then she pulled out a notebook, flipping through a few pages Karkat could see doodles in diamonds and hearts, so it seemed some things never changed. She still had her shipping wall.

He was glad for that. As she came to a clean page she pulled out the small snub of a pencil stuck into the spiral cage of the notebook and began jotting notes. Ripping it out she handed it to him.

He looked down at it and blinked.

She just gave him all the numbers. Sizes of the security, the attendants, how many volunteers came in and the exact number of Queens in this hive.

"Twenty- five?" he said and looked at her "There are fucking twenty-five Queens?"

She nodded "Only 4 are currently working, 6 more are on their rest cycle, the rest only work when they want to or a highblood comes in who doesn't have a partner."

Karkat just blinked at her, feeling part of himself twitch. "15 Queens who are being .. saved… and are not working AT ALL?"

She gave a nod. "By order of our district Highblood." She told him. "Beleza is pretty pissed about it actually. She's the most vocal, but she's also one of those saved for 'specials' because of her caste and strength."

He had to remember who that was, and then he recalled the blue blood. They had met her the first day and since then he'd seen her talking sometimes with Gamzee.

Gamzee's position would have been ideal for her to service and get some work if it was what she wanted. After all no district ruler could say the second of another district was not 'special' enough according to the old ways.

Karkat just knew that Gamzee had little interest at the moment aside from Hope. But that was a dead relationship in terms of another generation.

But they had the blessing of the Highblood.

He rather felt sorry for Beleza, if she was attempting to chat up another troll just to get herself some work. Or, she could be a spy?

He would have to talk to Gamzee about what he talked with Beleza about.

Nepta though was looking at her notebook and then said softly "When you head back, I'll.. go with you."

Karkat looked sideways at her "If it's to go after Gamzee?" he started. She shook her head.

"I'm a Queen."

Karkat felt his jaw unhinge and decide it was most likely not going to ever close again.

000