One thing about practical sex ed: it was at the end of the day. It only made sense, considering on some days they were bound to run long (classes were only 45 minutes long, and Mr. Nichols was rumored to get a little long winded on occasion, plus there was the physical aspect), and that way people could just stay after and not end up late to their next class. Plus, it would be really awkward having to go to, say, English all hot and sweaty and tired.
That was all well and good, but it also meant Edward was insanely impatient for the day to end. By the time he walked into the gym, it was pathetic, how eager he was.
His excitement deflated just a little when he was pounced on. Ed was just minding his own business walking over to the bleachers when Envy came out of nowhere, squealing out his name and tackling him to the ground.
"Envy," Edward growled, the sound muffled by the shiny yellow gym floor. "Let me the fuck up."
The green haired mass on top of him whined even as he complied. "I just wanted to hug you, Pipsqueak. It's not my fault you're so tiny it was too much for you."
Scowling at the words, Ed jumped up, swinging his backpack around so it hit Envy in the gut, resulting in a highly satisfying gasp from the other boy. A few girls sitting on the bleachers screamed—totally unnecessary—while a few idiot guys hooted like they thought there was going to be a fight. Yeah right; Edward wasn't in the mood to actually kick ass, but he couldn't take a comment like that sitting down, so he settled for somewhere in the middle.
Before Envy could retaliate in some way, the bell rang and Mr. Nichols walked into the room. He spotted the slightly disheveled pair and chuckled, shaking his head. "Lover's quarrel already, you two? I knew you'd be a good match for each other." Still laughing, he shooed them away and Ed took a seat on the bleachers, huffing to hide his embarrassment. Envy didn't bother hiding anything, leaning forward with his chin in his hand, pouting openly. Did the boy have no shame?
No. No he did not.
"Alright, everyone, listen up. Some of you know each other, but some of you are a little more distant, so you're spending the day getting to know your partner." An overly horned-up guy in the back groaned loudly in disappointment. Mr. Nichols's eyes flashed, though he went on in an even tone. "Like it or not, we may be condoning sexual relations, but it's still better to know who you're with. It won't kill any of you to keep it in your pants for a day."
Edward had to appreciate how the man spoke, blunt and to the point. He may be a teacher, but he didn't bullshit anything (unlike most adults in Central High School), which was nice.
"Alright, I'm handing out a sheet of suggested questions for you guys. Most of them are stupid, I'll admit it, so feel free to make up your own, but I'm required to hand this out." Ed reached out for the offered paper, scanning it. Mr. Nichols was right, these were horrible questions—ranging from favorite colors to movies seen recently. None of that really mattered—it wasn't like Ed wasn't going to fuck Envy if his favorite color wasn't orange.
The green haired boy was reading the list as well. "This is fucking retarded," he declared. "What's you're favorite position?"
Once again, Edward had been caught off guard, blushing as he stammered, "W-what?" Smooth, Elric. Real smooth.
Envy snorted. "You're favorite position." Catching Ed's blank look, he shifted, grinning as he sat up straighter. "You know, sex position? You have to have a favorite, right?"
Oh. So this had to come up now, did it? Edward tried to keep a straight face but found he couldn't manage it, and so stared at his lap as he responded slowly, "Not…really. I'm kind of…a…virgin." He hurried to explain as, after he looked up, he caught sight of the glee crossing Envy's face. "I was with a girl once! Well, kind of. I fingered her, and she was getting into me, but it just…felt like nothing. I wasn't excited by it. That's how I realized I was gay…"
"But you haven't been with anyone since?" Envy asked, unable to keep the smile out of his expression.
"No," Ed admitted, cursing inwardly as he felt his cheeks flare up again.
Clapping absurdly, Envy bounced lightly in his seat, attracting plenty of stairs. "Oh, good, I get to be your first! I'm going to teach you so much!"
"Shut up, Envy!" Edward hissed, crossing his arms self consciously. Really, the other boy wasn't being half as loud as he usually was, but Ed was suddenly convinced that in the echo-y gym, everyone had heard. "Just, ask something else, okay?"
"Hmm," Envy pondered, tugging on a strand of his green hair as he thought. "I dunno. Just…tell me about you. Like, your story and all. Who you are, where you come from. That's actually important, yeah?"
Talk about escalating quickly. Envy had gone from embarrassing him to asking him to talk about everything awful in one breath. But Ed could hardly be upset—it was only fair for the other boy to know that he was probably going to see Edward on some bad days, and to understand why. And so he inhaled and began the short version. "This is going to be a bunch of shit, okay? But you asked. My dad left when I was really little, and my mom died shortly after. Me and Al got in a bunch of trouble afterwards—long story, I don't want to talk about it—but we got out and now we live with this guy who's fostering us. Now…I want to go into science, learn about medicine and stuff so no one else has to lose their parent like that…"
The green hared boy just looked at him for a moment, blinking, before leaning in and hugging Ed abruptly. "I gotta say," Envy mumbled into his hair, "I wasn't expecting that." Before Edward could respond, he broke away. "Mine's not super happy either—guess we are a perfect fit. Never knew my mom, I was raised by my father—he's a real dickhead, I can't wait to leave home—with a whole bunch of shit siblings. We all get in a lot of trouble, but you know that. I mean, I'm not stupid, I know word gets around. I'm trying to do better though. I want more than what they have."
"Well, at least you've got a good goal." Ed had to say, he was impressed—but then again, he had noticed that the Envy he saw, even before signing up for this class, wasn't the one his reputation suggested. The other boy was serious about getting better.
"Yeah," Envy grinned. "To be happy!"
Suddenly the bells clanged, making Edward jump out of his seat as they rang, signaling the end of the period and the day. It was like a rude wakeup call into reality again, interrupting their little talk together. Envy laughed, pointing at his face. "You sure do startle easy, Pipsqueak."
"Don't call me that!" Ed snapped, making to slap the other boy—but Envy caught his hand, and kept it.
"Let's walk out together, okay?"
Edward raised his eyebrows curiously. "You know this is a sex ed class, not a speed dating class. You don't have to act like this outside of that gym." Complete lie, of course. Ed was horny, plain and simple, and so he signed up for the practical version of sexual education…but that didn't mean he wasn't lonely too, and Envy's hand in his was a nice little surprise. It was just that he couldn't let that be too obvious.
Apparently, he didn't do too good a job of hiding it, though, because Envy only laughed. "Yeah, right. You're sitting here asking me to be a dick to you, but I see that little glimmer in your eye. You're loving this, you little romantic, you."
Flushing but yet again unable to decide how to respond, Ed let it go. One thing Envy was definitely good at was making him speechless. He'd have to work on that.