Epilogue Part 2 – Goldilocks, Chesire, Little Red and the Broken Garage Door

A/N: I legitimately have no idea what I'm writing right now. I'm just sorta winging it, so I apologize if the quality of this epilogue chapter wasn't what you were expecting. First section up until the second line break is Blake, then it's Yang.

The music was blaring. Every night, that's always what it was doing. This night, it was particularly bothersome because it got to the point where the bassy vibrations emanating from the ground started to knock over things on the shelves. All of my books were strewn all over the floor. There I was, on my bed, bouncing involuntarily due to the booming music, seething in silent rage.

I said calmly to myself, "Well, you knew it would come to this when you agreed to let Yang open her own club, but really? Right under your own apartment is not good for the structural integrity of the building."

"You know, I honestly think that you're starting to go crazy. Insomnia getting to you?"

"No, insomnia I can live with. It's the things that come packed with it is what's driving me to the breaking point."

"Did you even realize that you're actually talking to someone? Hello? Blake? Are you there? You need help. You keep spacing out, and I don't think it's from that book."

The voice was right. I was talking to someone. Lie Ren. He sat at the bar in the kitchen, sipping at a mug that he called his 'shot glass.'

"Ask me all you want. We are staying exactly where we are. Roommates. That is all we are and that is all we will ever be. Don't even try it. I even know where you planned to go. Downtown café? Seven o'clock?"

"And how did you know?"

"You never stopped fussing over it with Jaune over the phone."

"I'll repeat my question. Also, why not? We have similar interests."

"I wire-tapped your phone. Also, we'd be similarly boring as hell."

"Clever girl," remarked Ren, taking another swig of his mug.

I heard yelling and a familiar yelp. The yelling was Yang to a third, unknown person. The yelp was unmistakably Ruby.

"I'd better make sure things don't get out of hand."

"I'll wait. It's not like I have anything better to do."

"That reminds me. Can you pick those books off the floor?"

"Okay, mom."

"So…What happened?"

"This freak is creepin' on my sister!"

"Yang…Ruby can handle herself. And that's no freak. That's your old 'friend.' Remember him? The guy that you totally crushed the balls off of?"

"Oh yeah…Huh. Junior! You, sir, just earned yourself a 'get out of jail free' card. In the form of something special. A visit from my five friends, thumb, pointer, middle, ring and pinky."

Junior is then thrown out of the door from a blast at Yang's wrist.

"YANG!" Shouted an extremely annoyed, agitated voice, "THOSE THINGS ARE STRICTLY EXPERIMENTAL!"

"Sorry, sis. Junior just needed a time out."

"Seems your material hasn't improved in the slightest."

The extremely annoyed, agitated voice trailed into the room following the body of an absolutely wasted image of Ruby Rose.

"I know I'm designing some super crazy s**t along with that, but that is no excuse for shooting f**kers out of your club with a super importantly secret EXPERIMENTAL WEAPON that is strapped to your wrist. You could have taken your entire hand off if you weren't careful!"

"I'm sorry, see; it's just not every day that, as part of an experiment, you normally walk around with shotguns duct taped to your arms! It's pretty freakin' sweet!"

This whole scene was just too much for me to bear, so I intervened.

"You know what else would be sweet? If you drove her home, seeing as how Ruby, here, is totally smashed."

"But what about the club?"

"I could do with some sleep tonight, thank you. We'll be closing early."

20 mph

"So, Ruby. I forget where you live again. Where was it?"

40 mph

"At the cliff, wood cabin, above the garage door, it says 'the rabbit hole.' That is not something to be taken the wrong way, Yang."

60 mph

"We're nearly there. You might want to start holding onto my back."

80 mph

"We just got on your bike, and now we're nearly there? I wanted to talk to you more!"

100 mph

"Do you have something to flip up your garage door? A remote or something?"

120 mph

"No, why? Also what time is it?"

140 mph

"It's 4:30 in the morning, and we're about to wake up your girlfriend by crashing horribly straight through your garage door."

160 mph

"Eh. It's okay, as long as you pay for property damage, she's fine."

0 mph

"WHO'S THERE? IS ANYONE IN THE HOUSE? RUBY? WAS THAT YOU?"

"Crap…I gotta go sis. See you tomorrow. I have to go get chewed out by Velvet while I pass out onto the bed and forget everything that happened, including the medical bill for Ol' man Junior."

"Tell me how it goes tomorrow afternoon. See ya. I gotta go get into a world of pain with Blake."

A/N: For those who need clarification, Yang started a nightclub in her apartment building's basement, under Blake's apartment, where Ren lives in fear of getting thrown into living with Jaune. Prefering the former to the latter, Ren has, once or twice tried to ask out Blake, but to no avail. As I mull that over in my head, slowly realizing just how stupid that sounds, I'll see you next chapter, for the final epilogue.