This will be the last chapter of this little saga and although I'm not happy with it, I hope you all will enjoy it! I love writing them and I hope to have a few more BSG centric stories up soon, so stay tuned!
As always I do not own the characters or their show, just the story And reviews are love!
To Laura it felt as if they had been sitting on that ledge near the window on the observation deck for years. But she knew that it had only been minutes, they were content to just sit in one another's presence. She was embarrassed…she wasn't used to letting people see those types of melt down even though they were few and far between. Even with how comfortable and safe she had become wit Bill, he had never seen this side of her, this range of emotions.
And she could tell the poor man was at a loss for what to do. He knew she needed support and love, which he could give endlessly; he could hold her and comfort her physically, but in all reality he couldn't find the words she needed to hear. She could sense that he desperately wanted to help; he was trying for her and that was what mattered, he would try his hardest.
Or maybe he didn't know how to say it, she thought to herself.
That was more of Bill's style, wanting to say something…needing to say something, but unable to phrase it the way he wanted it to be said.
"I'm sorry," she hiccupped.
He hummed softly, placing a gentle kiss on the crown of her head. He let his lips linger just a little longer than necessary, she could feel his breath rustle the fabric that adorned her head; that was happening a lot more lately. She knew Bill was experiencing something similar to her self, but more in the sense of feeling helpless and heartbroken. He was watching the woman he loved slowly slip away and he knew that he would eventually have to be left behind.
She sighed softly, "Not for the outburst Bill, but for abandoning you."
Laura looked up, eyes red and puffy from the onslaught of tears. The look of concern that crossed his face was almost comical or it would have been if not for the situation they found themselves in. A lot of things would have been joyous and amusing over the last few months if not for everything; her disease had robbed them of so much, cheated them out of so many experiences.
"Laura," his voice, "his voice was gruff where it vibrated against her ear, "I'm not upset about you leaving tonight…"
"No, no, no," she shook her head, "I mean for putting you through all of this."
Her hands were flying through the air as she was explaining this to him. Her hands were her way of emphasizing what she wanted to say, giving a little more depth and feeling to her conversations. Bill was convinced that she had always talked with her hands…he often imagined a young Laura, teens maybe, discussing a grade with one of her teachers.
He stopped her flailing hands by gently cupping them in his own. She found herself getting lost in his eyes as the rhythmic movement of his thumb across her knuckles. He had always been gentle, but in the last few weeks it was just as painful as comforting to feel.
Her Admiral's eyes were sad, the brown impossibly deep and incredibly dark as they searched her face desperately. She knew how painful this subject was for him, how soul wrenchingly sad it made him feel. But if she was being complete honest with him as well as herself, they would have to have the difficult conversation sooner rather than later. His voice was barely above a whisper when he spoke.
"Please don't ever apologize for this," he indicated them with his own hands this time, "or for us."
Laura shook her head from side to side; she was unable to comprehend what he had said. He gripped her chin and forced her gaze upwards, it was almost as if he wanted her to feel as well as hear what he was going to say.
He smiled slightly, "Like I said on that far away and wet planet…everyday is a gift."
She gave him a watery smile that barely lifted the corner of her mouth. It was tentative and unsure, she knew what was coming next, she knew her line and she had memorized it really.
"From the Gods," she recited.
He shook his head in the negative, "No…from you."
She could feel her lip begin to tremble and to her horror she could feel her traitorous eyes beginning to fill once again. It was such a simple yet poignant moment in their relationship; it was the turning point. The time when trust was freely given and love was just beginning. It was the ultimate act of trust when Bill placed his faith in her on that distant planet. They had lost so much and risked much more, but for at least a moment she could breathe.
Laura turned sideways, pulling Bill's arms around her body, burrowing into the warmth he exuded. She was always cold these days and she could never seem to shake it…being in his arms eased the chill somewhat.
She knew they would be able to speak more freely if they were comfortable. Eye contact was never a problem between them, in fact in a lot of the situations they needed to be able to silently communicate. But here and now, Laura needed to be able to speak without being overcome by her emotions and looking into his eyes again would wear her down. His arms lifted from where the rested as her chest rose and fell with her steady breaths. She closed her eyes briefly as Bill pressed a chaste kiss to the side of her temple.
"I don't want to leave," she confessed quietly, "I still have so much to do…so much left to see in this life."
The prominent lump in her throat was hard to swallow past and for a moment she was afraid it might rise up and consume her. Laura paused and contemplated what she wanted to say next. The conversation was going to take either a very serious or a very bad turn and she wasn't sure if she was prepared for either.
"We need to discuss what happens next."
She stroked Bill's arm soothingly, her rhythm similar to his on her hand earlier. She could feel his answering murmur, a positive sound in nature, rumble through his chest at her back.
His voice was a low rumble when he spoke, "Yes we do."
Her breath became shallow at the possibility to finally put this to bed; she was relieved he was so inclined to agree.
The years are making him soft, she silently smiled to herself.
"But not today," she could hear the amusement in he Admiral's voice.
He must have felt her body tense because his hands began to caress her arms, willing her to relax and almost pleading for Laura to hear him out. She began to relax as the rigidity slowly left her body, she decided that maybe this was a conversation they weren't yet ready to have…she couldn't force it.
"Not today," she agreed, "but soon."
As she said it, Laura turned her body slightly, locking eyes with Bill once again. She drew herself up in posture and took on role of the President to focus his attentions and she needed him to understand. The green of her eyes was luminescent, a fire that no matter how sick or despondent she became, never seemed to diminish. The look in her eyes brooked no room for argument and Bill bowed his head in understanding.
When she was satisfied faced forward again, looking out of the observation window and settled Bill's hands back across her chest. The ghosting of lips against the material covering her scalp caused a small smile to lift her lips.