Chapter 1: Gift of the Melanie Doll
October 1, 1998
The temperature was extremely humid in Glenda Paradise and I remembered being seven years old. My parent's house was at the corner of Adele Ave and Timber Street and my family; The Dawson's were considered the most isolated family from our neighbors. Many of the houses in this location were seating on top of each other as the culdesac road engulfed my parent's old house.
It was the fall season and my brown eyes were spending the day watching our neighbor's front lawn from across the culdesac. From the front window of our house, I could see our neighbors joyfully spending their afternoon outdoors with their immediate family. Together as a whole, they were placing their Halloween ornaments up on their house. Each parent took on the task of making sure their house looked scary for the Halloween holiday, meanwhile their children would continue to work on their tasks until they were completed. Once our neighbor's house from across the street was finished with decorating, my brown eyes would see them sit down on the top porch steps and observe as they quietly watched the sunset.
During the holidays, my brown eyes would look over my neighbors' lawn as they decorated their house with the finest decorations of Canyon. Several moments would pass by before feeling a small smile formed upon my pink pouted lips as my oval shape eyes caught sight of their children fooling around with each other until the parents scold at them to behave. It was during these moments where I would find myself giggling at their responses. This genuine smile would stay on my child-like face until my brown eyes would see them hug as a family. It was at these times where a frown would form upon my lips as the joyous view in sight would make my heart falter. When I was younger I wasn't sure why I felt this way. And I didn't know the reason why until after my parent's divorce.
A sigh of despair would come out through my thin small lips as my mind started to wonder as to why my parents were quietly spend so much alone time apart; rather than showing love and gratitude towards one another. It was always in the back of mind. And there is of course some times during the holidays where I would mentally compare my own parents with our neighbors from across the street.
Throughout life my parents never showed how much they love each other. Nor did they take the time to play with me. Instead I found my parents usually spending their days in different rooms. They were disconnected with each other and with me as well. And at this moment in time, my seven year old mind didn't really want to remember the last time they were in the same room. It wasn't a pretty sight and the verbal abuse was pretty much the only way my parents could talk to one another. It is sad and depressing but it was my reality.
My thoughts of those days were interrupted when an unexpected sound came from our front door. The loud knocking sound entered my small sensitive ears at around nine o'clock at night. The constant sound echoed through our house until I heard one of my parents shouting at the one other to answer the door. I knew it was at this time because my body started to feel my heavy eyes going droopy. But just like any child my age, I fought my sleepiness mode in order to stay awake.
My small narrowed feet stayed put on my spot in front of the window as my head turned fully over towards the direction of the front door. Soon I heard my father's footsteps thumping through the hallway of our living before seeing his thin figure in front of the white painted wooden door. His slim tan face turned towards my direction before noticing my curious small figure.
Slowly I see the long fingers from my father's right hand wrap around the cheap plastic door knob meanwhile his eyes watched me carefully. My vision stays on my father's dark brown eyes before looking over at his wavy hair. Instantly I smiled back at him as I waited for him to answer the door.
"Ally! What are you doing still up, sweetheart. I thought you would be in bed already." My father states in bewilderment.
My mouth goes wide open before closing it again. My small ears picked up the sound of stress coming from his calm voice and slowly guilt overpowers my body. In that second of silence, I was trying to think of an answer, but came up with nothing. And so I decided to keep quiet and turn my attention back towards the front window again. My father lets out a sigh of frustration due to my lack of communication before hearing him turn the door knob to the right. A crack sound came from the sudden movement of the door opening meanwhile the bottom of the door swipes over the carpet flooring. I was close to looking over at my neighbor's lawn until a sudden noise caught my attention.
"What on earth this!" I heard my father exclaimed.
The response made my mind turn towards curiosity as I found myself turning to face my father's direction again. This time a small smile appeared upon my face meanwhile my brown eyes looked closely into my father's strong hands. In his hands my eyes noticed a small Barbie doll box. My thick brown colored eyebrows rose up in confusion as my mind looked over at the gift. The box looked just like an ordinary Barbie box. But for some odd reason this one had no words written in the back of the box.
My seven year old mind never really took this as a caution sign. And so I remembered putting my small hands up in front of me as I shouted out in excitement from seeing the doll.
"Huh! It looks like one of our neighbors got you this Barbie doll!" My father states softly towards himself.
I cut my father off from his rambling by asking in a curious tone "Daddy what's her name?"
Slowly my eyes saw my father coming over towards my direction before seeing him kneeling down in front of me. Gently my father handed me the light pink box without saying a word. Instead, I could see his brown eyes twinkle from my excitement as he settled down on top of the tile floor.
"I don't know pumpkin! Why don't we sound it out together?" My father stated in a kind tone.
Enthusiastically I stated back, "Okay daddy! It looks like the first two letters are M and E. Would that be ME?"
In this moment, I remembered hearing my seven year old self asking my father this question with a troublesome look upon my face. My father just smiled at me for my attempted response before slowly feeling his strong arms wrap around my waist. Once my father had a secure hold of me, he moved my small body closer to his lap and allowed me to seat on top of him. By this time he was looking down at me with a proud expression upon his face as I heard him respond back.
"You are very close pumpkin. But that isn't really it! How about this, add the L and then sound it out."
My worrisome brown eyes looked up at him with a smile upon my face as I heard myself state back, "M-E-L… Mel!"
My father cheered from my response before hearing him state back, "Good job Ally! Mel! Now the rest of the word is like your aunt's name. Do you know which one I am talking about?"
My cheerful eyes looked down at the box again to see the name written in big pink printed letters. This time I nodded my head yes in excitement before feeling my father giving me a kiss on my cheek.
"A-N-I-E…. Anie" I stated back in triumph.
This time my father didn't cheer. Instead I remember hearing a female's voice responding back towards my comment.
"Good job Ally! That is right, An-ie. Just like your Aunt Annie! "
Instantly my head whipped over towards the direction of the voice, to see a thirty year old woman and she is standing near the kitchen table. It was at this time where I distinguished this person as my mother Penny Dawson. My mother's brown eyes were looking at me with happiness with a pleased smile was plastered upon her thin pale face. I don't remember what she wore that night but I remember some traits of hers. I believe the most memorable detailed I had of my mother was her reddish-brown curly hair. In the back of my mind, I would remember it being tucked into a ponytail meanwhile her pale white skin tone hands were laced around each other.
"Mommy! Someone got me this doll!" I stated towards her with excitement.
"That is great to hear sweetheart! But it is your bedtime now!"
I remember my mother stating towards me in a calm tone. In the moment a frown appeared upon my thin face from hearing her response, but I obliged to her request.
My small little hands placed the doll box on the floor as I stood up from sitting position. My father gave me another quick peck on the cheek before helping me off his lap.
Once my bare feet were able to balance on their own, my father got himself up. My father then took the time to look down at me again.
A beaming smile forms upon this thin lips before hearing him state in cheerful tone, "Good job pumpkin! Now what is her name again?"
This time I shouted out the word "MELANIE!"
My father applauded from my response before seeing him pick up The Melanie Doll. In the moment I was expecting him to hand over the doll, but instead he hesitated from the look of the doll. I remembered my big brown eyes looking up at my father with confusion as I waited for him to take action.
"Daddy! Is there something wrong?" I stated in a scared tone.
My father didn't respond back. Instead I saw him analyzing the doll. Odd was one word to describe his reaction. It was a mixture of confusion and fear written on his face. I didn't understand why but later on I would come to understand his concerned look.
As few moments pass by before noticing that my father wasn't sure what to do.
He gave the box one more glance before hearing him state back. "Pumpkin! Why don't you go to your room and I will be right up in a second to tell you a story."
My eyes looked at my father in happiness before stating back, "Daddy aren't you going to give me the Melanie Doll?"
"I- hum- Ally sweetheart, I am going to put her with the rest of your dolls. Is that okay?" My father asks with a smile upon his face.
My head nodded in agreement before finding my bare feet walking up the set of stairs and into my small ten by ten bedroom walls.