Edward had a lot of good days. Most of his days were good days. But when he didn't have a good day, Ed didn't just have bad days; he had debilitating days. Days so bad he doubted everything. Usually he could feel them coming up, could prepare, but with everything that had been happening with Envy lately, Edward had been so ecstatic…Thursday hit him like a train wreck.

Honestly, he'd almost taken off school—even Al had told him to—except…for that little voice in the back of his head. Ed was used to it talking shit about Al and Roy, and how they couldn't really care, not after some of the crap he'd done, but now the voice had a new target: Envy. And the stupid thing wanted to test him.

Edward hated this part of himself, but he couldn't control it. He'd seen a few people about it, but nothing had helped…mostly because Ed was convinced the treatments wouldn't work. This was his demon, so he had to figure it out. And he would, eventually. But not today.

He was quiet, walking in to sex ed with barely a hello to Envy. The other boy looked immediately concerned, and Edward shouted to himself to stop being such a little bitch, to not do this, to stop doubting…

Mr. Nichols walked in with the bell. "Well, what are you all waiting for?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "I don't have any plans for today."

Excited by the prospect of another free for all, the class stood as one, heading for their "rooms." Ed followed Envy, heart pounding, still silent as the curtain fell and Envy pressed a kiss to his lips.

"Ed, what's wrong?" the green haired boy asked, concern filling his violet eyes.

Edward took a deep breath, and then everything came spilling out. "It's just, it's always physical. Every time we're in here, obviously, but when I went over to your house as well, it just always heads straight for making out and—and I just…" Ed sniffed, pounding the side of his leg with his fist against the tears. "Do you think we could just…not?"

Without a word, Envy took his head, leading him to the mattress and pushing him down ever so gently into a horizontal position. The other boy then laid next to him, wrapping a comforting arm around him, and Edward couldn't hold the tears back anymore. "Shh, baby, it's okay," Envy murmured, kissing his hair. "Of course we don't have to. We'll just lay here, okay? I've got you."

The tiny part of Ed that wasn't melting down cheered, told that stupid doubting voice to suck it. Envy didn't seem to care at all if they had a day they weren't getting it on. That was proof, then; Envy didn't just care about Edward for the physical. The voice was quieter, now, with less to go on, and Ed clung to that thought desperately. He cares, he cares, he cares… Slowly but surely, his sobs lessened until he was breathing more or less normally in Envy's arms.

It was only then that the green haired boy spoke. "This is what you meant, huh?"

"What?" Ed rasped, wincing at the sound of his own voice.

"When we had that 'get to know you' day," Envy reminded him softly. "You told me that a bunch of shit had happened when you were little and that it wasn't always easy to forget. This is what you meant, isn't it? That some days it's just too much…"

Edward nodded. "I'm sorry," he mumbled. "It's usually not this bad."

"Talk to me, Ed," Envy whispered. "Tell me what's wrong."

"I just get to this point where I start doubting myself," Ed replied quietly, talking into Envy's chest rather than facing the other boy. "Like, I'll think that Roy can't possibly care because I'm not his real child, so there's nothing but generosity keeping us with him and that maybe one day he'll get sick of my crap and throw me out. Or I'll think about Al, and how much I fucked us up after Mom died, and how it's pretty much impossible that he could have actually forgiven me." Edward struggled to continue, his breathing growing labored once more. "And how I couldn't do anything for Mom, I just had to watch her go like—like a helpless bitch and—and Dad left even before that, he knew how worthless I was—" That was it, that was as far as he could go. Edward whimpered, curling into Envy as he shook, clinging to the other boy's shirt in the hope that it would keep him from floating away.

Envy was quiet for a moment. "And usually not all of that happens?"

"Ha!" Ed laughed, bitter and harsh. "No, that's what's normal. That I'm used to, and I can push it away for the most part. Today…today is the first time I've gotten like this since I got involved with you. Today's worse because now I have this whole new set of doubts. What if…what if you only want to fuck me? What if I'm not good enough again? What if get like this and it's too much and you leave?" Edward fought another sob that was trying to escape. "And that only makes me freak out more!" he wailed.

"Please calm down, baby," Envy murmured. "Just breathe, okay? I need to say something but I want to make sure you're not going to choke first."

Inhaling deeply, Ed did his best to set himself straight. After a long while, the green haired boy tugged on his chin, forcing Edward to look him in the eyes. "Let's just start with the worries about me, okay? None of them are true. I'm serious," he promised at the look of disbelief that came into Edward's eyes. "I'm more than happy to just sit and talk with you and hold you—though I prefer you to be smiling when we do that. We don't have to fuck every time we're together. I really like you, Ed. As for when you're having a bad day…I'm always going to be here, alright? You can't scare me off. I didn't have a great childhood, either, Ed. I saw a lot of shit no one needs to see, and I know stuff like that messes people up. So I'm not going to abandon you just because you're reacting like a person. I'm going to sit here and hold you and tell you it's alright."

Ed kept breathing, trying to force himself to listen. Everything Envy said made sense, considering the other boy wasn't leaving, didn't even seem alarmed. Gradually, his heartbeat slowed, and Edward found his head clearing, not completely…but enough to where he was in a better place. Envy smiled. "See? It's okay, baby. I promise."

Blushing at the name, which sounded so much more meaningful in this context, Edward pressed his face into the crook of Envy's neck as the green haired boy continued. "And as for everyone else you're worried about…well, the world makes assholes sometimes, so it's really just best to write off your Dad. I know that sounds horrible, but trust me. It's not you, it's just that some people are dicks. And your mom…Ed, you were just a little kid. It's not your fault, but I'm sure having you there with her made it better. And Roy and Al? All I have to say is this: if I can care this much about you after so little time, there's no way after all these years those two are going anywhere anytime soon, no matter what you've done."

Ed smiled for the first time that day. He hadn't thought about it quite like that—he'd never been able to. Abashedly, he kissed Envy's neck softly. "Sorry," he apologized again.

"You don't have to be sorry. I get it. I have bad days, too—it's just that I get angry, not sad. You'll have to put up with me eventually," Envy teased. "But seriously, it's alright. And like I said, we don't have to fuck all the time. Cuddling is more than fine. If you want to we can just lay here like this tomorrow too, okay?"

"Okay," Edward agreed, finally feeling calm. He nuzzled into the other boy—it was amazing how being close to someone was helping him relax. Ed had never let Roy or even Al get this close to him when he was in a mood before, and now that he thought about it, that was a really stupid move. Having Envy so close was a physical proof that the green haired boy cared. He'd have to remember that, make a mental note to be more touchy-feely when he got in these moods.

"Hey, Ed?" Envy asked quietly.

"Hmm?"

"I don't want to, like, invite myself over…but I'd like to go to your place, have dinner with you and Al and Roy at some point. I know I see Al at lunch now, but like you said, I probably didn't make the best first impression on Roy and it'd be nice to change that."

In his overly emotional state, Edward almost started crying again. If that wasn't proof that Envy liked him, really liked him, nothing was. The other boy…wanted to impress his adoptive father. Smiling widely now, Ed nodded enthusiastically against Envy. "I'd like that. Roy tends to be gone really late most days—he works for the military—but if that's not a problem, you could come over Saturday…?"

"Sure thing—my dad won't care," Envy replied. "One good thing about having him as a parent is that I can do whatever."

That wasn't really the most positive thing…but Ed ignored that in favor of thinking that he was going to be able to see Envy over the weekend. Sighing contentedly, Edward let the matter rest, slipping almost into sleep. And when the bell rang and they got up and Envy kissed him sweetly…Edward didn't feel like he was about to fall anymore.