okay, so every one wanted me to do a sequel and i did! i dont think that it's as funny as the last chapter but who gives?! you came here to read the story so go ahead after i put the disclaimer:

me: do i own twilight or does stephenie meyer?

stephenie: i do. :)

me: oh, ok weeps

Bella POV

As soon as the joyride was over, I could only think about one thing: REVENGE.

Edward unbuckeled his seat belt and reached over to kiss me on the lips. But I was scared stiff and wide-eyed.

"Aww, is my wittle Bella scared?" he said mockingly as his lips traced my jawline.

"Please Edward," I said breathlessly, "not now."

"Then go upstairs and rest, sweetie." 'Sweetie'? Since when did Edward call me 'sweetie'?A/N: My friend would have been like, "Chicka-what?!" lol ;)

After two rounds of kisses A/N: Oooh! TWO rounds! Okay, continue. on my neck, I went inside only to find Jasper and Emmett holding their nuts.

Jasper POV

Fuck my balls, fuck my balls, fuck my balls... I thought as Bella came in. Emmett was rolling on the floor and growling under his breath.

"Bella," I said to her weakly.

"Yeah, Jasper?" she asked.

" Can feel what you're feeling right now. And you want revenge, right?"

"Y...eah."

"That's good, because we want revenge too."

" 'kay."

"You can start by calling Carlisle."

"Why?"

"Just say it ALREADY!" Emmett complained," Godammit, Iv'e been listening to you two talk for only three seconds and my No. 9 combo hurts even more!" A/N: Do you get it when I say No. 9 combo? tee hee... ;D

"Okay, fine, be that way," I scolded him," Go call Carlisle because I want him to check our No. 9 combos."

"O...kay..." She then ran off to the phone.

Yes, finally, my balls will be saved...

Three Minutes Later... :)

As Carlislie was checking my balls, he said things like, "oooh" and "tsss" and "ouch". When he was done, I asked him,"Do I need to amputate them?"

"You and Emmett both," he said grimly.

"WHAT?!"

"Nah, I'm just joshin' with ya. You don't need to amputate them but you'll feel pain for the next hour or so."

"Okay." A/N: Just think if I made them amputate them... heh... ;)

"Bye now. I have to return to the hospitaland cure this man from hiccups. Do you have amy suggestions, Bella?"

"Umm, scare the shit out of him?" Bella pondered.

"It's a 'her'." Carlisle corrected.

"But you said it was a man." she complained.

"No, he's gay."

"He should be bi." Emmett said.

" Why?" I aksed as I was getting up.

" If one fails, then you have the other choice."

"But what if they both fail?" Bella asked.

"Then you're screwed."

We all then went upstairs to plot our revenge as Carlisle left.

Emmett POV

" Okay so what are we gonna do?" Bella asked as we were settling down in Alice's room.

"Well, we could tell you secrets about him but they're really disturbing." I said.

"Hey, I'll tell you something disdurbing; My dad watches the Teletubbies and has never missed an episode. So don't tell me that Edward's secrets are 'disturbing'." she said angrily.

"Okay, umm, well, when Edward was two, he had a teddy bear named Fluffy Fuzzy Mc Fluffenstein. He has it under a floorboard in the back of his closet. When we're all gone, he takes it out and dresses it in a pink dress with a diamond studded tiara . After that, he masturebates with it. True story." I nodded and saw Bella on the floor laughing her head off.

"Bella, calm down, you're redder than Edward's shoe pumps." Jasper said.

"Oh, Crap! He has shoe pumps?! Omigod!" Bella giggled uncontrollably.

"Okay, back in 1989, we were playing dress-up with Alice. She dressed him up as a gay stripper. So then after that, he kept the shoes and he now wears them around the house with his ultra-long, black jeans." Jasper explained.

"Hey! here's a good one! Edward has a doll named Stella Anorexia!" I said.

So then we told everything about him and planned.

Bella POV

"Okay, is everybody ready?" I asked.

"Yes! (: " Jasper and Emmett said.

"Then let's go!" I said impatiently.

You're goin' down, babe, You're goin' down...

YAY! I hope everyone liked it. sorry if you don't think it's as funny as the last one but i tried. you know what to do. r&r

:) love ya:)