heres the next chapter for your pleasure unitl i have to go to la! i don't own twilight. stephenie meyer does. ily!

Recap!

As soon as I was at the porch, I took out Fuzzy Fluffy McFluffenstein amd said, "Hey, Edward! Look who I have!"

End Recap.

-OXOXO-

Jasper POV

Edward's eyes widended as he growled menicingly.

"Hell yeah, faggot!" I screamed out victoriously, "I have your precious teddy bear and YOU don't!!!! HA!!!"

I then acted all sexual with it by wiping my ass, cock, and balls with it, French kissed its nose, and humped its leg. I then leaned over towards Bella to lick all over her neck.

"I'll save you for dessert, okay?" I whispered seductively into her ear.

And that;s when Edward snapped.

Edward POV

He said what now?

Okay, first off: no one touches Fuzzy Fluffy McFluffenstein except me. And I mean me.

Second: Jasper was not doing it right. You have to get the paws between the hot dog and the nut. Then it feels good.;)

Lastly, No one -and I mean no one-can say that to myBella. If they do, I will make their life a living Hell for them.

I looked up at Jasper who was licking it all over and tasting its "area". A/N: I know I'm perverted! That's why I changed the rating! ;D

My eyes turned flat onyx as I roared with fustration, anger, and emmbaressment.

"Awww... Is little Eddie mad?" Jasper mocked.

"don't...call...me...EDDIE!!!!!!"I bellowed.

"Okay, okay," he giggled,"I won't but look at this!"

All I then heard was a ripping sound and the plop! of a stuffed animal head.

"Boy, did ya'll just do that? Mmmhmm..." Bella asked as she did her did her "Z" snap thing.

Jasper was shocked and I was shocked. He just ripped off Fuzzy Fluffy McFluffenstein's head. Forget the living Hell thing, I was going to absolutely maul him.

"Ooooooohhh...I'm dead now, right?"

"The HELL you are!" I shreiked.

Emmett POV

After a few minutes, I saw Jasper running away from Edward at vampire speed.

Jasper, I said in his head.

What? he replied.

I want to ask you a really important qusetion.

Well, go for it.

No, I mean that this is a really important question.

Just go.

No, I seriously mean it.

Go.

Are you sure?

YES! JUST GO!!! DAMMIT!!!

Okay, Here goes: Are you gay?

Jasper stopped dead in his tracks and said out loud: "What the fuck, Emmett?"

Edward bounded right into Jasper and said in a complaining voice: "What the Hell? Why did you stop?"

""Emmett's asking about my sexality!" he complained.

"Why?" Edward said flatly.

"I was just wondering. :3" I murrmurred in my most inocent tone.

"Well, Emmett, if you must know, I'm straight."

"Or are you?" Edward asked.

"Yes I am!!!" Jazzy whined.

"Fag!"

"Whore!"

"Cock sucker!"

"Your mom!"

"My mom's the same as your mom! So, oh! Third degree burn!"

"Yeah, but I'm from Texas!"

"What the Hell? What does that have to do with anything?"

"Well-" I sneaked my way torards the big oak tree, got the cage full of birds and bees, untied the box of honey and seeds, and tip-toed my way back to Edward and Jasper where they were still arguing about Jasper's sexality.

I went up to Edward, dumped the box full of honey and seeds on him, and quickly threw the cage full of birds at him.

"Oh, SHIT!!!" he yelled as he ran (at vampire speed) around our backyard with bids pecking on his head, bees stinging everywhere around him, and his ultra-low blue jeans falling by the second. So he had to stop occationally to pull them up.

Jasper, Bella, and I were laughing our heads off, but I still had one more burning question:

"Hey, Jasper,"

"Yeah, Emmett?"

"Seriously, are you gay?"

I took that punch to the stomach as a no.

!!!!THE END!!!!

so did you like it? the beginning part where jasper masturbates was inspired by my history teacher masturbated with my binder. he was a guy too! so it went like this:

i was sitting around with my friends until mr.h (history techer) came to check my binder. while he was checking it, he was like, "perfect! oh yeah!amazing! yyyyyyyyyeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!" but the one thing that he said that i will never forget, "OH YEAH! DOWN THERE! WHOO! THAT IS PERFECT! WHOO!! THAT FORM IS AMAZING! WHOOOO!!!" so im just sitting there thinking, Holy shit, he's masturbating with my binder. Damn. Fuck this shit. Fuck this shit. Fuck this shit... and then after that, my friend carina (yes i spelled that right) said," Why do u have to have a perfect binder?" and i was like." i dont know. but now i wish that i didn't."

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

but anyway, review plz! c u in a week! if u dont know what im talking about, then go back one chaper and read the a/n.