Disclaimer: I don't own the whole world of Narnia, just this part of it.

Chapter 2: Pevensies, Pirates, and Knights

Susan put her hands on her hips. "Listen, please! Ask questions one at a time, please introduce yourselves, and don't interrupt anybody while they are talking." A man who looked like a pirate with dreadlocks snapped his mouth shut.

A young brown-haired woman in a snow jacket stepped forward. "I'm Leia Organa; I am a member of the Imperial Senate on a diplomatic mission. Well, I was, until our ship jumped into hyperspace and we were dumped here. This is-"

The pirate guy, who perked up at the mention of a ship, interrupted her. "A ship, my love? You 'ave a ship off this godforsaken place? Would there 'appen to be some rum on board?"

The blond woman standing next to the pirate slapped him, effectively shutting him up. Leia glared but continued as if the interruption hadn't happened. "This is Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, and Chewbacca (the tall furry mammal), and our droids C-3PO and R2-D2. Where are we, and who are you?" Han Solo was also glaring at the pirate guy after he called Leia 'my love'.

"You're in Narnia. I'm Peter Pevensie from England, and these are my sisters Susan and Lucy," Peter answered. Gosh, how many times am I going to have to repeat this? "I think, same as all of you, that we were somehow taken from our world and left here. These kind beavers took us in and told us some things." He indicated Mr. and Mrs. Beaver.

Prince Arthur sauntered up. "Now you're talking rubbish, like Merlin here always does. Beavers do not talk! What things did they tell you? How to build a dam?" He turned to the Beavers. "Don't beaver dams leak?"

Beaver raised his head indignantly to the young sovereign. "No, of course not!"

Arthur backed up into his group, horror on his face. "That- that thing spoke!" He and his knights drew their swords. "Magic! Those animals speak! It's all magic!"

Peter rolled his eyes, "Yes, he did speak, and of course it's magic. We can't do anything about that."

"But magic is evil!" Arthur still pointed his sword at the Beavers.

Merlin held his hands out in a placating manner. "Arthur, it may be magic. But it would be best to not anger the natives now, and this Aslan person might help us. Try not to kill anyone before then, sire? Please?"

"I'm trusting your word. You had better be right about this, Merlin." Arthur pointed his finger at Merlin, but sheathed his sword. His men followed suit.

A small blond woman dressed in black stepped forward. "My name is Elizabeth Swann. We were sailing to the end of the world on a quest with a whole bunch of incompetent idiots, and then a green light flashed and we fell in the snow. This is my fiancée, Will Turner-" here she motioned to a handsome man on the left- "And this is Jack Sparrow." The pirate who she had slapped earlier swayed forward.

"It's Cap'n, Cap'n Jack Sparrow," he drawled. "An' if there's a ship abouts, I should like to see it." He grinned over at Leia.

Will and Han now both directed their murderous glares on the oblivious pirate. Another man dressed in brown robes stepped between them. "You seem a little on edge. Take it easy."

Han Solo spun around, "You have no business telling me what to-." He broke off suddenly, realizing whom he spoke to. "Ben Kenobi? You're supposed to be dead!"

The entire group was confused. So was the said Kenobi.

The man tipped his head, "Ben? Perhaps you are mistaken; I am Obi-Wan Kenobi. This is my Jedi apprentice Anakin Skywalker, and Senator Padme Amidala of Naboo."

Han motioned to one of his friends, "Luke! Luke, get over here, this guy looks like your old fossil Ben."

"Obi-Wan! You're supposed to be dead!" Luke's face was amusing to watch as it faded from shocked red to pale white.

Obi-Wan looked down at himself. "I am? Why does everyone keep saying that?"

"Yeah, you look a bit younger then when I last saw you. You only had gray hair, some wrinkles right there, and you squinted a lot… more…" Luke trailed off when Obi-Wan glared at him. "Uh, never mind." He turned to Anakin. "You have the same last name as me. Are we related?"

Anakin shrugged his shoulders. "I dunno. Maybe you're my mother's brother's cousin's sister's friend's friend from across the street that got kicked out from his father's side 2 times?"

Now it was Luke's turn to glare. "I doubt that."

Susan broke in, "SO, um, where did everybody else come from?"

"We were fleeing from Empire troops with a partially-broken hyperdrive, but R2 and I fixed it. We zoomed into hyperspace and suddenly appeared here. It might've been a bit smoother had Chewie not placed the toolbox where it could fall on my head." Han Solo shot daggers at the tall, brown mammal with his eyes.

Chewbacca grumbled, "Rawwgh, rungh, mmmummf."

Han waved his hands in frustration. "Well, it's not my fault, buddy. Pay attention next time."

Senator Padme moved into view. "The Jedi, Anakin, Obi-Wan, and I were saved from being executed in a dirty Geonosis arena by droids. Our troops picked us up in their ships, and dust flew into our faces. When our vision cleared, all we could see was snow. What about you?"

"We were playing hide-and-seek in Professor Kirke's house, when we heard the housekeeper coming after us. No matter which way we turned, her footsteps always followed, which was kinda creepy. So we ran into the Spare Room with the wardrobe, climbed into the wardrobe, and kind of fell into Narnia," Lucy stated.

Peter cleared his throat and help up his hand for silence. "Alright, now that we all know each other, there're some things you need to be aware of. Aslan, supposedly, is a person or somebody who called all of us here. He has an army ready to defeat a White Witch, who has kept Narnia frozen like this for over 100 years. She also took our kid brother, Edmund."

"Wait, there are four of you?" Lancelot queried.

"Yes, and we apparently fulfill an old Narnian prophecy. The Witch wants to get rid of all of us; she's using Edmund as bait. There's also a narrator hanging around, but she's refusing to help so far. Ya'll can come along with us and ask Aslan to send you guys back home, wherever you came from. How 'bout we take a vote. Anybody want to stay here and freeze?"

No hands.

"Ok, who wants to go see Aslan and go home?"

Hands shot up. Some people held up 2 hands.

"What about weapons?" Arthur shouted out, "I and my knights have our swords, but what about these others?"

Will Turner, Jack and Elizabeth hefted their fancy pirate swords. Leia, Padme, and Han checked strange modified-looking guns strapped to their sides. Luke, Obi-Wan, and Anakin each had a silver and black gizmo hanging off their belts. Chewbacca held a weird crossbow, R2-D2 showed his electronic zapper, the Beavers held out their claws, and Peter had a stick. But Susan, Lucy, and C-3PO had nothing.

Peter smiled, "Don't worry, we'll get you something. Let's head out, then. Beavers, you lead, since you know the way to Aslan's camp."

As the group trailed off into the distance, a voice carried though the trees.

"Is there a tavern near this encampment?"

"Gwaine, don't start on that now."

"But Arthur, is there?"

"Gwaine, just… no."

Edmund stared miserably at the chains binding his feet. His breath fogged in the air, and his stomach growled; he hadn't eaten anything today. He scowled at the cup of water and piece of moldy bread beside him. The water was frozen solid.

The White Witch stuck him in this frosty freezer of a cell, after he went and told Her about his brother and sisters. Since the odd appearances of a dark-cloaked crowd in the Throne Room of her castle, she decided to deal with Edmund later. And apparently, she had forgotten about his Turkish Delight, too.

Putting his head between his knees, Edmund swallowed a deep breath. His lungs hurt after being exposed to so much cold air. Why would she put me in here? I'm hungry and I'm cold. I've done all she asked, walked to Her House, and done twice as much as any one of Her ugly ogres, but she still didn't keep Her promise! Why?... I wonder what Peter, Susan, and Lucy are doing right now. They're probably having a grand old time and not even remembering me, just looking for that Aslan person. He probably gave them tons of Turkish Delight, and they're eating it all. Stupid narrator could've put me somewhere nicer too. I hope they freeze to death.

Chains rattled on the other side of the wall. Edmund jerked around to see a hollow-eyed Faun poke his head through a hole in the cell.

The Faun pointed to Edmund's moldy bread, "Looks tasty; if you're not gonna eat that…"

Edmund handed it to him warily, wondering what crime this creature had done to be imprisoned. Then it struck him. "Mr… Tumnus?"

Mr. Tumnus' eyes darted to Edmund, "What's left of him." He stared a moment, "You're Lucy Pevensie's brother."

"Uh-huh, I'm Edmund."

"Yes, you have the same nose… Is your sister alright?"

Edmund looked down uncomfortably.

"Is she safe?"

Growls echoed overhead from the Throne Room above the dungeons. Edmund shrugged, "I don't know. Do you have any Turkish Delight?"

(Jis den, de dor berst opin, and de wide wItch walked in wit a kni8fie…)

Just kidding. But the iron entrance to the dungeon did burst open; Edmund and Mr. Tumnus quickly scooted away from one another. The White Witch stalked in menacingly, followed by a few strange, darkly-dressed newcomers and an ogre. Edmund almost fainted, not because of cold or fear, but because the ogre smelled so bad.

The Witch tripped on the slippery step, and was furious at the narrator for ruining her spectacular evil entrance. So she vented on Edmund. "My police tore that dam apart. Your little family is nowhere to be found." She lifted him up by the neck with one hand. "Where did they go?"

His eyes wide, Edmund pawed at her choking hand, which was impossibly strong. He caught a glimpse of Tumnus shaking his head; say no.

"I-I don't know! They were talking about a stupid animal!"

"You're worthless." The Witch chunked Edmund back on the floor, and raised her wand.

Edmund knew something bad would happen if she struck him with that wand. He held up a hand. "Wait! The Beavers said something about… Aslan!"

Her pale face turned even whiter. "As…Aslan? Where?"

"I-I don't-"

Mr. Tumnus got up the courage to speak. "Please, your Majesty! He's a stranger here, he shouldn't be expected to know anything- Ungh!" He yelped and fell silent when the ogre hit him on the head.

One of the tall, dark figures with a black cape and helmet came forward. His voice was deep and he sounded like he had asthma. "He is lying. Perhaps I can persuade him differently." He raised his hand towards Edmund, and twisted it like he was controlling some sort of deathly force field…

There was a slight tugging on his body, and then nothing. Edmund blinked.

The White Witch shook her head, "Darth Vader, that was useless. Do not interfere with my judgments again."

The Sith Lord spread his hands, examining them. "Strange that the Force does not exist in this world. It usually works." I'll bet this is the narrator's fault.

No comment.

Boba Fett snickered next to him in raspy tones. "I told you disintegrations were better."

"Be quiet; you do not know the power of the Dark Side." Darth Vader whirled around and towered over the grey, armor-clad bounty hunter. Somehow he managed to glare, even though he had on a helmet.

Boba Fett laughed again, "Some power."

The Witch ignored them and continued her interrogation. "I said: where is Aslan?"

"I don't know… I left before they said anything!" Edmund panicked. "I wanted to come, I wanted to see you! Can I have some more Turkish Delight now?" He chewed his lip anxiously while Tumnus glanced fearfully at him.

The White Witch stared at both of them. "Guard?"

The smelly ogre shuffled forward and grunted something.

She jerked her head towards Tumnus. "Release the faun."

Edmund flinched when the ogre hit the Faun's chains, making him cry out. He was flung before the Witch's feet.

She impaled Tumnus with her ice-cold eyes. "Do you know why you're here, faun?"

He tilted his head. "Because you put me here?"

Edmund snickered, but the White Witch was not amused. "Guess again, Faun."

Tumnus played his part this time and shivered pitifully. "Because I believe… in a free Narnia?"

"You're here, because he turned you in!" She pointed her wand at Edmund, who shrank back. "For sweets."

Mr. Tumnus looked at Edmund, shocked.

Edmund couldn't look at him. I didn't mean to… well, Lucy started it, but… I- I honestly didn't know that-

"Take the Faun upstairs." The Witch's voice interrupted his thoughts. "Gather your men and meet me in exactly three hours in my Throne Room. And ready my sleigh," She smiled. "Edmund misses his family."