Psychological Warfare in the Mind… And Other Stuff!

"So, how about you start from the beginning?"

Dr. George Huang folded his hands upon his desk while his dark, Asian eyes stared down the woman who sat across from him. As an FBI agent; he was eager to finally meet this unique individual that had caused such a stir in the Big Apple. As a former Psychiatrist; he wanted to help whatever problems that weighed on her mind, so that no future accidence, like a few days ago, would happen.

"What's there to tell?" I asked as I lazily sat in the soft chair. I could not believe I was doing this shit again. But – it was for the sake of my Godfather and the others in the SVU to talk to this guy so I could sort out any 'priorities' I had jammed into my head. Right.

"I know you have been through a lot since before coming to New York," Dr. Huang said calmly as one of those metal ball pendulums swung back and forth between three others. "But what I want to hear is what happened in these past two weeks."

"Just the usual," I said as I examined my nails while my other hand's fingers fiddled with the chairs lose fabric. "There was a criminal, so – I hunted him down and killed him."

"When did this all start?" He asked in that patient tone of his.

I released an aggravated sigh, before turning my head back to the Doctor while trying to ignore those swinging balls. Pin pointing a story before it starts seemed to be a lot harder then it sounded. But Huang was in no hurry, or so what it seemed to me as he stared calmly back into my inhuman eyes.

"It started after I said 'goodbye' to G D," I said coolly as I tapped my foot impatiently.

"And G D is your Godfather; Officer Dean McCoy?" He made it sound more like a statement.

"Yes," I breathed somewhat irritated that this session had to start out this way.

Flashback:

I was standing in front of my parent's graves at a local cemetery. It was close to City Hall Park in Lower Manhattan, but it was peaceful. The day was bright with a cooling wind as I lay a few flowers on each grave. I didn't say anything and nothing else as the usual sounds of the big city waved by. With a soft sigh I stood up and walked away. What could I say? What else was there to do? It was a graveyard filled with the dead that had the pleasure of never waking up in this forsaken world again. The whole thing just leaves me… depressed.

"You know, despite all the bull shit you deal with," G D said as he waited for me at the entrance of the cemetery, "I think they'd be proud of you." When I gave him a doubtful, yet tired look, he just hung his arm around me as we walked up the sidewalk, where he had parked his Camaro half an hour ago. "I really wish it didn't have to be this way, C." He said sounding serious again. "You know I do, right?"

"What's the point of living with this curse if I can't do any good with it?" I asked solemnly. As soon as I spat the words from my mouth, he fiercely turned me around to face him while wearing a livid look.

"Don't you ever say that again!" He warned as his blue eyes hardened with hidden anger. "I mean look what you already did! You stopped a terrorist from killing off those hostages! You saved Elliot and Olivia from that guy! AND – If you didn't speed up the way you did, those guys would have set off that bomb that the SWAT Team found in the basement of the place! Carolyn! Like it or not, you're a blessing! You're using these vamped up powers for good! Isn't that enough?"

"I don't know anymore," I said honestly.

"Well, I do," He said and then started the car once we were in. "There is someone you haven't met yet. He's helped me a few times. I want you to talk to him for a while. Okay?"

"He's a psychiatrist, isn't he?" I drawled it out as a statement. He didn't say anything, but pat me on the shoulder as he steered the Camaro up through town.

"He's a damn good psychiatrist." He said with a soft smile.

Back in the office:

G D didn't tell me the guy was FBI though. What a way to break the ice! But the guy had kind eyes and a soft expression. So did the last half dozen Doctors I've seen! What made this guy any different? I really don't know; besides my current condition as a Dampire now. Yet the others of the SVU said it would be good for me so I had little choice but to just roll with it. That was weeks ago and the sessions are still going. What did I just agreed to?

"Tell me what happened after he left," He said as I breathed out in a board-like manner.

"He – kissed me on the forehead and wished me luck and gave me Mercy after that." I said and at the name 'Mercy,' Dr. Huang looked up at me with interest.

"Mercy?" He asked calmly.

"A twelve gage shotgun," I smirked at the memory. It was an honor and a pleasure to be welding the weapon that had my godfather's back, and he said that now it's my turn to show a little justice; just so long as I don't harm any innocent people or he will come back and pry it from my claws! How comical. But if I said anything to make Dr. Huang nervous, he didn't show it and focused on taking his notes on paper.

"But – you didn't use this 'Mercy' on the man you killed a few weeks ago," He stated calmly.

"No," I said frowning at that memory. "I did not."

"Tell me from the top then," He suggested, his eyes not leaving mine for five minutes. "Like… When did you get involved in this case?"

Puckering my lips, I let out another longing breath as I recalled the events of that day. It wasn't hard to remember, I just don't want to recall it. But, seeing as I was still here in this chair, I have to give something to him! Well, here goes nothing.

Two weeks ago:

I was just walking back from the candy store with a bag full of tootsie roll pops in my pocket; a cherry flavor already in my mouth. Yummy! It had come to my attention that with every heartbeat I passed in this city, my fangs would itch to bit them. But, when I passed the store full of candy, a thought came to me; why not suck on a sucker than a human? Turns out that the taste of these things makes the urge to bit less often! The sugary taste of the hard candy and then the sweet, chewy sensation of the chocolate tootsie inside kept my jaws busy for a while. Plus; their my favorite candy!

I was walking down a somewhat calm street when I heard a commotion in an alleyway from across the street. It was a woman screaming and crying for help while a man was on top of her, trying to tear off her clothing. Enraged, I closed the distance within the span of a few seconds and yanked the dirty bastard off of her. He grunted in pain as his frail body hit the stone wall. The woman was slightly dark skinned and had a bruise on her left eye and a bleeding lip. She trembled when she saw me, but I believe she was still suffering from this guy traumatizing her. He was going to rape her! I will not stand for it!

"Stupid bitch!" The man in a black robe growled at me as he nursed his left arm. A black robe? Is this guy religious? Oh well, time to end him. "You will regret ever coming to face –!"

BANG!

My gun sounded throughout the alleyway for half a minute as the guy fell over dead, right after I fired a bullet into his head. The woman flinched but didn't even scream as I just clicked the sucker between my teeth and pocketed my gun again. "Good fucking riddens," I spat but was curious to what he wore. As the woman was slowly sitting up and staring at me, I examined the body of the thug. He was lean, bulky and stunk of unwashed skin. Ew. But, there was a tattoo on his neck that had me slightly concerned. A pentagram. The upside down star of the devil's sign in black ink, in a circle. Oh boy! What a catch!

"Well, well! Ain't it my lucky day to shoot a devil's boy!" I smirked as my sucker's stick made it look like I was smoking a joint. "If you can still hear me; tell the devil to go suck his cock," I said and then stood up to face the woman again.

"Well? You can stand, can't you?" I asked her sternly. She examined herself and saw her shirt was partly ripped, but she seemed to be okay. She flinched when I walked towards her, but I didn't take it offensively. She should be afraid of me! After all, I'm a monster in my own right! Just not her monster. "Come on," I sighed and held out my hand for hers. She stared at it like I was going to perform some other trick. "I don't have all day, you know." I half growled impatiently. Taking the hint, she took it and I easily hauled her back up on those pathetic two inch heeled shoes. She wobbled a bit but after a minute of standing, she seemed to be okay.

"I'm okay – Thanks," She said as she brushed her black hair from her face.

"No problem," I said and started walking away.

"Wait!" She said and I stopped with a sigh. "Your – Dampire C? Aren't you?"

"Yes, I am," I sighed again after five awkward minutes have passed. "So?" I spat a bit as I still had a sucker in my mouth.

"Did you really have to kill him?" She asked, trying hard not to look at the filthy man's body.

"Yes. He was going to violate you," I said coolly and she lowered her eyes. "It was either him or you. I prefer to wipe out the rats of the city, rather than their victims."

She blinked and looked almost fearful towards me, but then she relaxed some. "You remind me of a hero I saw on TV once," She said and I snorted at that. "But – not everyone says you're a hero."

"Good," I said with a frown and she looked confused. I elaborated, "I'm not any type of hero."

"Maybe, you're still looking for a place in this world," She said and I almost did a double take. With a grateful smile, she slide pass me. As I watched her go, while she held what was left of her cloths to her, I wondered what was all that about? My place in the world? Really? That sounded so – surreal. Oh brother! Somebody gag me with broccoli!

Clicking the sucker against a fang, I sighed for about the fourth time and walked away, knowing the authorities will show up soon. And that's when my depression started to go south. For the rest of the day I wandered between Upper and Midtown Manhattan, not really knowing where to go. I ignored all interested eyes and I avoided anyone that tried to approach me. Well, I more like jumped to the nearest roof before they were even ten feet of me. But, I had made it clear to them that I was in no mood for company.

I was like this for the next few days. Even taking down the common criminals seemed pointless. Sure that guy with the pentagram made me think, but then I just brushed it aside as being someone who just thought it would be a cool tattoo. Typical punks.

Then there was my singing. Sure I could still dish out the words with pizazz but I had no feeling. Even the BOSS said I was looking more down than usual, no matter how I tried to hide it.

In the office:

"And are you sure it's not what the woman said that started this depression?" Dr. Huang asked as I just sat there, twirling my fingers on my lap.

"Maybe," I slumped in my seat as he continued to stare at me.

"What about the case then?" He suggested.

I breathed out as I let my head go back a bit. Thinking over those events weren't exactly fun, but I'll give it a try.

A week ago:

Detective Olivia Benson had noticed my change in demeanor and how inattentive I was with everything around me, so along with most of the department; and with some convincing of the Chief, I was asked to assist in a missing person's case.

It was a simple and most ridiculous common of kidnappings; a mother with a twelve year old girl was trying to separate from the obsessive and controlling husband and father. Typical. But, one day, he decided to bop his wife on the head and take the girl into hiding. It's been four days and the wife is very worried and the cops have little to no leads. The place the husband has worked at has no idea where he could be or what he was like at home even before he disappeared!

Olivia and Elliot were trying everything they could to get to the wife, but she claims to have told them everything. I wonder. And Odafin and John were getting restless to find this ass as well as debate rather to shoot him on sight or not.

The wife seemed convincing enough, but I could smell something wrong. I usually can because of my enhanced senses as a Dampire. So, after some convincing, they allowed me into the Quiet Room to speak to her. She seemed hesitant, fearful, and very weary of me. She should be! Sheesh! I've never seen a more pathetic woman! I displayed more of the bad ass then the good cop, bad cop technique. Anyway, after five minutes of awkward questions, I heard her mind whisper things, like how her husband beats her and slaps their daughter around. Then when the wife threatened to move out, he went at her like a rage filled bull and knocked her out. When images of certain places came to her I had to ask about one place in particular.

An old bus station that had been abandoned, because the husband's father had once owned that place and now it was no more than an empty lot. When I asked her about it, she seemed shocked and almost fearful. I bet that the husband contacted her at some point and now they were negotiating. Rather for the child's sake or the money. In any case, I didn't care, and I told her that too. When I got up to leave, she asked me to bring her daughter back un-harmed. I nodded and left to start the hunt.

Of course I had to let the Detectives know where I was heading and dared to try and catch up. Vampiric speed vs cop cars through Manhattan's Time Square at high noon? Ya, I think we all know who wins this round. Anyway, they asked me to try and not kill the husband. I thought about it as I raced above the streets by jumping rooftop to rooftop and had made it to my destination in about quarter of the time. I was somewhere on Tenth Avenue, and the place looked deserted. But I sensed a couple of heartbeats coming from the small building. One heartbeat sounded content, while the other was more quick and fearful. I'll guess and say that the fearful one belongs to the little girl.

Making up my mind, I jumped off the roof and walked right up to the door. Apparently, the husband was working at his desk while the child was locked up in some room. That's it! Now I'm mad! What kind of a bastard leaves his only child to suffer like this? A really big bastard that's what! It's time to turn him into my target board!

Kicking down the door so hard I sent some of the wood flying at the guy. He was going to pull out a gun but I was on top of him before he knew it. Grabbing him by the throat, I grabbed the gun and then threw him across the room, effectively breaking one of his ribs. He wasn't getting out of this in one piece.

"Piece of shit," I muttered as I casually stepped closer to him. "You're not a man. You're a fucking coward!"

"You – you have no idea who you are messing with!" He spat, like he had all the answers.

"Sure I do! You're the bastard that kidnapped his own daughter! How – unrealistic." I smirked and pointed his gun at him, his blue eyes widening some… His blue eyes… He has the same eyes as – Him! I frowned as a growl vibrated through my throat.

"You're no more than an animal!" He accused as he tried to stand back on his feet. "A devil's toy! A bitch used as a tool and a –!"

BANG! …BANG!

I shot him twice in the chest. Those blue eyes widened in shock as he slumped back to the floor as he died. I felt my hand shake, but not with fear or adrenalin. But with rage. Deep and burning hot rage filled me like no other, and suddenly, I could hardly see or know what I was doing next.

My hands were coated in the man's blood as my claws continued to tear at his face, torso, and rip off an arm.

The sound of Olivia's voice shouting at me to stop as Elliot pointed his gun at me.

When I came down from my blood-lust, I found myself standing atop of the husband's corps and I was covered in his blood. His eyes had been scratched out. The two Detectives had their guns drawn out but only one of them was aiming at me.

"C? C! Can you hear me? Do you know me?" Olivia asked when she saw the red disappear from my eyes.

"Careful, Liv! She could jump on you too!" Elliot said as his hand was nearly trembling with anxiety. The sight made him sick, but he tried to remain focus as he wouldn't let down his guard towards the Dampire.

"C," Olivia said more calmly and slowly put her gun away. Then she raised both her hands up to me in surrender. "C. Can you hear me?" I blinked and nodded slowly, making them relax some. "What happened?"

"I…" I drawled out for even I don't remember clearly. Looking back down at the mess I made, I then remembered what I saw before I snapped. Blue eyes. His blue eyes. A reminder of the man; the monster I wish to rip apart. My other half must have desired that too, because of those eyes.

"Stay back!" I warned when she tried to get closer to me, yet stopped after I shouted at her. I didn't want to harm them the way I harmed this man here. He was only a greedy bastard, yet I made the mistake by losing control there. With quick reflexes, I jumped to the window, broke through and ran far from the sight.

I cleaned myself up after returning to my hotel room, but then after that, I began to sulk. I even started to cry again as I sat in my corner as his face started to block my thoughts from anything else. It seemed no matter what I did, I can't escape from those memories of him. Though I had heard over the news that the girl was reunited with her mother, I couldn't go back. Not after what I did. At least for a while.

For the next few days, I sulked, drank, and cried silently in my room. Until sometime at night, I had a visitor knock at my door. I made no move to go and answer it; seeing as my mattress still blocked the entrance. Then Olivia's voice called out to me and I knew she had come to see me. It didn't take long for the police to find out where I was hiding; but that was hardly a surprise anyway. I'm just grateful they didn't decide to storm the building with a SWAT Team to arrest my ass. Yet.

But for a thin woman, she had some arm strength as she opened my door and pushed the mattress aside. When her footsteps lead to me, she could hardly believe how miserable I looked. So, she called Dr. Huang and asked to speak to me just as soon as she helped me wipe the bloody tears from my face.

"C. We want to help you! But you gotta trust us!" She said as she took the bottle of alcohol from me. "And I don't think getting drunk is going to help the situation at all."

"It takes a lot more than a few bottles of that to get me drunk," I admitted sourly. But she stayed with me for some time, until I passed out on her shoulder… And that's when the dreams started.

I was back on that cross. The smell of salt water in my nose as the waves kicked and tossed me about on the surface until I was underwater again. It happened over and over and over again! Tossing! Breathing for only a few seconds till I was under again! Turning and hearing the roar of the waves in my ears as my eyes could hardly make out the sky from the waters sparkling surface. I couldn't move! How could I when the silver bound me to the damn wood? I was trapped! No! I don't want this! I don't want to go back! Somebody help me!

I woke up with someone shaking me by the shoulders. I was covered in sweat as Olivia's face was inches from mine. Laced with fear and worry, her warm eyes tried to bring me comfort as the blood tears started falling again. She saw the fear on my face; though she didn't know what I saw, she pulled me into a hug anyway and held me for some time as I just sobbed into her coat.

"It's okay," She crooned over me, "You're going to be okay, C." I doubted it, but after that episode she and I went for a walk to try and calm me and find out what happened. I didn't tell her much; other than gave her hints to what I had dreamed about. After that? Well, I ended up back in this guy's office again!

Back in the office:

"Tell me about your immunity," He said and I frowned. "Detective Benson said that you wanted to test your abilities to a gunshot wound to the head."

"Ya, so?" I replied, still board and yet growing irritated at that gravity pendulum!

"And… How did it go?" He asked and I snickered at his curiosity. Naturally a human would be curious about this! Who wouldn't! I mean even I didn't know I would survive from something like that! Maybe I just wanted to find out. But, as usual, the truth is far more sinister.

"Surprisingly well," I admitted with a tired smile as I recalled that day. It was only just yesterday too!

Yesterday:

I was down. More like feeling like shit and wishing I was dead, down. I was tired. Sooo tired of being what I am and living with this pain in my chest whenever he came to mind. I'm sooo tired of seeing these damn burns on my skin that just refuse to heal. All I wanted was to end it all.

I was sitting on the roof of the hotel I was staying at; sitting across the gun I had pulled out and debated over my decision. Can I die from this? I mean if drowning a dozen times in the freaken ocean won't do it, then will a gunshot wound to the head will? My head rested on my hands as my elbows were on my knees. The thought had come to me so often, so why not try it? I hate this curse! I hate my life! I hate how I was forced to live like this and wanted nothing more than to end it! So, why not?

Because you are stupid! My other half said and I sighed. Well, if I do die then I'll finally be free from this double nature! Shooting yourself won't end things!

"What's the point?" I asked and all it did was growl. God! I just want to be free! True freedom to leave this forsaken place! All it does is causing me more pain anyway so what's the fucking point!?

"Fuck it!" I spat and picked up the gun. Pointing the barrel at my left temple I took my final deep breath as I started to pull the trigger. I'm sorry G D! I'm sorry to everyone! I thought as I closed my eyes from this world and hoped it was for good.

BANG!

There was hardly any pain at all. I was more or less numb as a bright light seemed to engulf my vision. A loud humming was in my ears; like the sound of a TV or radio going off, or even the sound of a dial tone the phone makes before you hang it up. In any case, I was numb to everything around me. Was I dead? Was I finally free from that world of pain? A voice suddenly proved otherwise.

"Now that wasn't very wise, was it Ms. C?" A cheery yet disappointed male voice nearly spooked me. Wait. I know that voice! But – how!? Why did it have to be his voice?

"Rr – Ranfield?" I asked, but it seemed my own voice wasn't working. Other than that, I started to feel a heavy pressure pull me down.

Light and colors started to blur my eye sight as a pair of hands was shaking me back to this world. Oh, great. I survived. Hurray for me. I thought in agitation as Olivia Benson was hovering over me. She looked panic stricken yet her brown eyes widened in surprise when they met mine.

"Oh my god! C! What the Hell did you do!?" She yelled as I saw my gun in her hand. "Why did you do that!? Why were you trying to shoot yourself!?"

My head felt heavy with a headache as I slowly sat up. Looking down, I didn't see a lot of my blood, yet the bullet that had apparently entered my head was lying beside me. So, my body can heal from that kind of wound too. That's disappointing. I wonder what else I can't die from.

"How long was I out?" I asked with a throaty groan. My first words and they had to be about that? But I was eager to know how long a bullet would knock me out if I got shot in the head again. Not that I want to make it a daily event!

"I don't know! But after I heard the gunshot I tried to get up her as fast as I could!" She breathed. She was sweating and out of breath, but I guess it wasn't just from the journey to the roof. "The door to the roof was locked and it took the guy twenty minutes or so to open it! C! Why did you shoot yourself!?"

"That's almost half an hour. Okay then," I breathed as I climbed to my feet, along with Olivia.

"Okay!? Okay!?" She stammered at me wide eyed. "You just put a bullet in your head and all you got to say is okay!?"

"I'm still breathing aren't I?" I spat at her as my eyes narrowed dangerously. Doesn't she know what I am already? Maybe I should remind her. Grabbing her by the scruff of her front cloths, I hauled her off the ground with little effort at all. As my eyes turned red I showed off my fangs with a furious growl. Her hands were on the harm that held her but she did nothing to resist my strength. "You're forgetting something, Detective! I'm a monster from Hell! I can kill you without shedding even a drop of sweat! What else would keep me alive?"

"I – I don't know!" She breathed as she struggled in my grip. "But – if you are a monster then why haven't you killed any civilians yet?"

Because my other half hasn't tried to kill them yet? I thought but telling her that won't help the situation. Instead, I made her believe she was getting through to me by setting her slowly on her feet again. Letting go of her shirt, I turned around to face the city scenery. "You don't understand!" I said as I examined my hands. "Everything I try to do turns things into a nightmare! Why not try and end it by blowing my own brains away! I HATE THIS LIFE!" I screamed into the air, my echoing voice scaring a few birds away. Feeling suddenly drained, I stared down at my feet. "This isn't even real life," I said sounding broken for the first time in weeks. "This is living-death. My heart may be beating but it's a false beat. It thrives for blood and – I can't stop it!"

"Because of the vampire that turned you?" She said and I nodded. "So what, C? SO WHAT?" She suddenly grabbed me and turned me around to face her, though I did nothing to stop her as she started yelling into my face. "Like it or not this is your life! Even if it means you can't die! Nobody wants you to die! Can't you see? You're using this curse for good! Not evil! You're spitting in the eye of the Devil while you should be enjoying your time in this world! Isn't that enough? Besides, this city needs someone to stand up above the rest! Someone to look up to when things go wrong!"

"You're asking me to be this city's hero?" I scoffed at her.

"No! I'm asking you – to do what you can do best – and don't let anyone tell you different!" She panted as her hands squeezed my shoulders to hold me in place, but I knew otherwise. I could send her flying off this roof without a second thought, yet she thinks I can prove otherwise? Is the damn woman retarded!? Vampires don't save! Not even a half-vampire like myself! But – to spit the Devil in the eye as I walk away – now that is something to maul over. Now that I think on it, I've been dying to get back at him for what he did to me. So it only stands to reason – that I shall only die after I take care of him.

"I suppose – you have a point," I said and gave her a playful smirk. "After all. Someone out there just might need a little more help. BUT – No hero tittles! I'll be damned a dozen times over if I have to wear a fucking cape or spandex!"

"Of course," She said and led me to the doors. "Although tights might be a bonus," She smiled some as I glared in return. "How about just the lose coat look? You got that down to a T."

"It just makes me more of a bad ass," I said as we climbed down the stairs. There was no way she was gonna give me my gun back. I can read it in her mind, but I wasn't worried. There were plenty of scumbags out there for me to swipe another. After that, she wanted to take me out for some dinner, but I politely refused and decided to walk off the day in a small park.

In the Office:

"So your positive there is nothing else troubling you?" Dr. Huang asked as I crossed my legs and rested my right cheek on my fist. We were over two hours into the session and I was getting really board.

"None that I can think of right now," I said coolly as I examined my nails.

"You know, all this time you've been sitting here I've had a strange sense of forbidding towards you," He said honestly, only catching half of my attention.

"Oh, ya?" I asked lazily.

"Yes, and it's not just because you're a half-vampire," He said as he leaned in closer to me. "You are a unique individual, C. Not because of what you've been through but because of what you believe. When things go dark and the bad guys start to claim their territories; you don't just sit down and let them, do you? You fight for the innocent not just because it is the right thing to do, but because you can! And it is what you can do that makes all the difference in the world." As he spoke I seemed to notice how his words were hitting home. Well, as close as he could get to. "What that vampire did to you – and you don't have to tell me who – was unforgivable. But, C? Like other woman, you have been used and abused to the point of breakage, and it happens in a relationship like that."

"Relationship?" I spat angrily and he leaned back some when he realized he had made a mistake. "Relationship? There was never a relationship between me and that son of a bitch! I was his fucking slave! A bitch on his leash to be toyed with! Nothing more! Nothing less! I know because he said so himself!"

"And that makes you angry which I understand…"

"No, you don't understand!" I growled, my eyes beginning to burn red. "None of you people understand! Nor ever will! Criminals and helpless beings are one thing but I am neither! I – am cursed! For the rest of my fucking life I have to live like –!"

"An animal?" He replied calmly. I turned my gaze away to the wall as my nails pierced the arms of the chair. "You don't have to be like this, C. As you said earlier; you are free to live the way you want to now. Not as a criminal. Nor a helpless being. You can choose either side now. For good or for evil? You are not alone as you say you are. Everyone has to choose between these paths. But – as far as I've heard, you've done a lot of good deeds for this city already. Despite your curse, C, you are still a soul that walks amongst us. Not as a hero, but not as a demon either. You are living and seeing yourself in a life full of hypocrisy. And you know what else?"

"What?" I glared yet waited for his answer.

"You're still suffering from a broken heart and hardening it the way you are now will only bring you more pain," He said and relaxed in his chair. "You have been pierced like no other, and your whole life has been changed because of… him. Though most break ups end with honesty; you never had that chance. So, I am asking you now, C. Be honest with yourself before you make the call to take your own life again."

"Funny, and here I thought that's all I've ever been was honest," I scoffed at him while suppressing a yawn, but he noticed.

"And get some much needed sleep too," He said and then handed me a small bag of sleeping pills. "These will help you get the rest you have earned."

"I can't sleep anymore," I said in a tired voice.

"And why is that?" He sounded concerned.

"Because if I do – I'll end up back in that damn ocean," I said then stood up, ready to leave this place, but left the pills on his desk.

"I can help you with that too, if you want," He suggested.

"I doubt it," I growled and started for the door.

"Just promise me something," Dr. Huang said, but I kept my back to him. "Don't go searching for trouble until you've solved your own. Take a breather from these acts of selfishness and heroism every now and then. Because seeing blood all the time will start to wear you down."

"You see there is a problem there," I said and he raised an eyebrow in question as I turned to face him. "Blood gives me strength, not weakness."

"I'm sure every vampire is different when it comes to consuming their need for blood," He said calmly as his dark eyes never left mine, "Even a Dampire too."

I frowned and decided to leave at that point before the air got too thick. He thinks he can solve me like a puzzle, but he can't. No one can. Although it is funny how he defined me. I guess I am like the world's biggest hypocrite.

I walked down Third Avenue for a while just to take my mind off of the things he had said. Though he did make some sense, no other 'skull jockey' has ever been close enough to describing my mental state besides – him.

You are afraid.

I hit a nearby brick wall in frustration, making a small crater in my wake as cracks and dust fell around it. Hearing his voice again only aggravates me more! I am NOT afraid! You hear me!? I mentally shouted back. Feeling my heart begin to race, I suddenly had the desire to run. Jumping to the nearest roof, I ran and jumped rooftop to rooftop just for the sear adrenalin. Anything was good at this point despite of what I was feeling. Once I stopped to catch my breath, I sat on the edge and looked down from a sixty story building. Darkness was descending once more and I could feel my skin tingle with the cool air. A breeze blew by and a tone of smells entered my nose. And then… I realized something. I am an animal! Humans maybe a more sophisticated form of animals, but I hold all the attributes to be at the top of the food chain. So, as an animal I need my own territory! This city! The island itself is like a jungle and I am the top predator to keep its order in line!

We are on top! My other half sinkers from the back of my head and I had to smirk. Ya, I can get used to this! And if any other supernatural fool or even he comes to stand in my way? I will send them back to the Hell that they crawled out from! This is my home! My territory! All who live under it will be protected by my strength! And should a criminal try to defy it? I will rip him apart!

"You hear that New York?" I stood up and shouted gleefully. "Dampire C is here to stay!" I threw up both my fists in the air and felt the air whip around me violently, but not enough to throw me off balanced. It's gonna take more than a breeze to take me down! The innocent have nothing to fear form me! I might as well be like a ghost or something to them. A Ghost of Revenge! With a bag of tootsie pops in my pocket.

I'm back! Sorry for the waiting but I have had some family issues as of late. But it's getting better and I am free to type my little heart out! Hope you like the chapter! It took a while to figure out how I wanted it to end but I like the end result! More action is yet to come so I hope you're ready for it!

I kinda wanted to have this chapter in here because it opens a window that most people don't see in heroic people like C. Their inner struggles! Even movies these days don't always show the 'long' run of the outcome! Well, I guess that's why there are books and stories to help us with that! : D

Anyway, thank you for all the REVIEWS and I hope to see more once I'm done typing the rest of the book out! It's not over till the vampire bits! O.O Oops! Did I just give out a hint to the ending? You will have to stay tuned and find out later!

Love to all; BR2