Rumpelstiltskin was fairly certain he should plan something for Valentine's day with Belle, the problem was he honestly wasn't really sure what that should be. He'd never had to do anything like this before. Even during the good times with Milah, he'd never had options for romantic evenings beyond a village fair and Cora had valued secrecy above romance. Belle hadn't been with him long enough in the Enchanted Forest for anything like that to even come up, but here she'd spent twenty-eight Februarys completely alone and mourning for him of all people.

As Mr. Gold, he had plenty of money wine and dine her, and Belle deserved everything he could possibly afford to give her. She deserved flowers and jewelry and all the experiences she'd always dreamed of. And he wanted to give her those things, except that this was still supposed to be a secret. Secrecy at this point was probably the only thing keeping Belle alive anymore – although thankfully, that more applied to his behavior than hers. He rather suspected Regina thought it was funny that Belle had spent the better part of three decades wishing he would notice her, so as long as the woman didn't get the idea that he had any particular fondness for 'Delilah' they were both fairly safe. It still put a pretty big crimp in Valentine's day plans, though.

He'd been supposed to repossess her father's van today, but instead found himself with urgent business that must be attended to, advising Moe French to thank his lucky stars that this couldn't wait. Moe had breathed a sigh of relief and Rumple had used the same excuse on Regina when she'd tried to ask for a meeting with him. This urgent business had turned out to be locking himself in his back room for the rest of the afternoon with a book of sign language that he'd finally managed to track down in a church basement with a promise to that flighty nun of a rent extension should they need one. He hadn't exactly told Belle about it, but then that was half the surprise.

He had resigned himself to the fact that there wasn't much he could do for Belle while she remained steadfast in her determination to protect Henry Mills. He'd do whatever he could for her, but short of kidnapping her and locking her in his attic (and don't think he hadn't considered it) there wasn't much he could do. That didn't really help him with Valentine's plans, though. Aside from her push for more the first day they'd realized they remembered, as far as he could tell her hobbies largely included kissing and reading. They were already doing plenty of kissing whenever possible and she now had free reign over any books he could acquire, which made this exceptionally difficult.

Flowers had been a no go, since her father was the florist and also there was absolutely no reason for Mr. Gold to be buying roses. He didn't think she'd be able to use any more jewelry until she was safely away from Regina. Lingerie seemed a little bit forward for the current state of their relationship. That really just left candy, and he'd gotten some of that, but it still didn't feel like enough somehow. Never enough.

As if on cue, he heard the door open admitting her into his shop. She was a breath of fresh air and sunlight, even though night was already upon them.

"No Henry Mills?" he asked her. She'd been forbidden from taking time away from Henry recently and the boy had tagged along on a handful of these secret dates. Luckily, the child was easily amused and incredibly happy for his nanny otherwise things could have gone very awkward. Belle practically skipped over to the counter where they kept her white board, pulling it out and scrawling a message for him.

Regina is home tonight, she explained. Thinks I'm asleep early. He's covering for me.

"That sounds a little risky," he replied. "What if she goes looking for you?"

She won't, she wrote. If she needs me she sends Henry – not sure she even knows which room is mine. Anyway, you're worth it.

He couldn't help the smile he felt tugging the side of his face at her ready admission of enjoying him. Nobody had ever really enjoyed his company that he could remember – at least not without an ulterior motive. His son, maybe. Bae had loved him, at least, and that counted for something.

"I'll endeavor to live up to your expectations," he promised. "Although I'm afraid my plans were slightly lackluster. I do have a few surprises, though."

She cocked her head slightly, a coy smile playing across her face.

I have all night, she scribbled as nonchalantly as he'd ever seen a woman write something on a whiteboard. Nobody will miss me until morning.

She looked so innocent when she wrote it he'd almost have missed her meaning if not for the fact it wasn't the first time she'd hinted at this. It was beyond comprehension that she'd want to have sex with him – especially after everything he'd done to her – but the fact that he kept turning her down was a special kind of madness. Truthfully, he wasn't even sure why he kept doing it. It wasn't that he didn't want her, because he'd wanted her as long as he could remember and more desperately than he'd ever wanted anything besides oxygen to keep pulling through his lungs. There was a part of him, though, that couldn't entirely believe she wanted him. She was Belle – beautiful, brave, so smart and kind and good. And he was Rumpelstiltskin. He was ancient and evil, corrupt beyond her ability to understand and just so tired and afraid. He was darkness and she was light, and he was mortally afraid of corrupting that within her.

So instead of taking her hint, he gave her a watery smile and moved to the back of the shop quickly. He'd been able to dig out a few things from their lives before that he thought she might appreciate at least seeing. It wasn't much, but they were the only things of hers he really had. When he brought out her little silver hand mirror and ivory comb (spared from destruction by being in her room and out of his sight), her chipped cup, and another couple books that had been in storage. She clapped her hands together as her eyes lit upon the assortment of once loved items, fingers tracing the face of her mirror and touching the teeth of her comb. The books got a loving pet, but the moment her eyes lit on the cup she gasped and scooped it up, cradling it to her chest.

You kept it? She somehow signed without putting down the teacup, forgetting in her excitement that she didn't know he'd been studying.

I wouldn't throw it out, he replied haltingly, but correct enough that she understood him.

He saw the moment she realized what he'd done, her jaw dropping open comically and he grabbed the cup out of her hands before she could let it fall to the floor.

You can sign? She still formed the words slowly, making sure he had plenty of time to see each one.

I've been practicing, he replied even slower than her. I wanted to surprise you.

She seemed to take pity on how very difficult this obviously was for him, flinging her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly. He lowered his face to her neck, breathing in the smell of her hair. Sometimes he wished he loved her a little less, but that was truly impossible. To not love Belle with everything he had in him for loving someone with was an impossible proposition.

She did finally pull away from him, though thankfully not too soon.

I didn't get you anything, she signed with a sheepish smile on her face.

"Your company is very much enough," he replied, loving the little quirk of her lips when he understood her. "Anyway, there's always next year for a proper celebration."

Next year? She signed. That soon?

"Well, yes," he said. "Sometime before the summer, I should think."

She had an odd look on her face, which prompted him to continue.

"Is there a problem with that?"

When the curse breaks, she signed slowly. I'll have to leave Henry, won't I?

"Oh, sweetheart," he replied. "It won't be like that. You're welcome to stay with me, and your father is here. And it's entirely possible Regina won't be the one who ends up with custody of him anyway. You'll see each other plenty."

The longest he's ever been away from me was the night he went for Emma.

He wasn't sure what to say to that, particularly, but it called for him to say something.

"You two are very close," he blurted out finally. And to think he spent three hundred years renowned for his ability to spin words.

I raised him, Rumple, she signed. After you kicked me out I didn't think I'd ever get to love anything again. And then twenty years later I got Henry.

He flinched a little at her reminder of how he'd failed her. At the same time, gods above, if anyone could understand loving a child it was Rumpelstiltskin. He wanted to promise her that she'd always have Henry, but the boy wasn't his to give. Henry had two other women already claiming him as their own, and he would fight for Belle with everything he had but this was a battle he didn't think she could win. She seemed to read the content of his thoughts, turning to go examine the shelf of her books that he'd moved into the back room to prevent anyone else from touching them.

He didn't have the empty words to comfort her with – not this time – so instead, he settled for coming up behind her and settling his hands on her upper arms. Belle liked to be touched. She always had, he remembered, but being without her voice seemed to have lent her an even more tactile nature. She shivered a little as he trailed his fingers up and down her arms, and leaned back against his chest. He took her cue and wrapped his arms around her middle tightly.

"You'll still see him," he promised. "If I have to string Regina up in the middle of town to get her to agree with it you will see him."

She nodded, but he knew that didn't really help. It was hell to be separated from a child. It was a hell he was all too familiar with.

"I'd have spared you from this," he whispered. "If I could have."

She spun in his arms, then, and looked at him curiously. He didn't need her to sign to know what she wanted to know.

"Not from Henry," he promised. "From the curse, from Regina. From myself, too, I suppose. From all the pain."

She shook her head.

Not from you, she signed. If I'd lost out on you what would I have left?

"You'd be married," he said as lightly as he could manage. "With babies of your own that no one could take from you."

She wrinkled her nose at him.

Do you really think I wanted that? She looked almost angry, but also a little sad and he instantly regretted his words. Do you think I wanted motherhood and a marriage of convenience?

"I don't," he admitted. "But I can't imagine you spent your tender years dreaming of a man who was born long before even your great-grandfather, or an evil sorcerer."

He couldn't look at her even as he was saying it, so it wasn't a surprise when he felt her hand on the side of his face pulling him to look back towards her. She had a look on her face he recognized – she wore it when she was thinking about chastising him but didn't quite have the heart.

I dreamed of true love, she replied simply. In whatever form it would take.

He didn't have an answer for her, but she didn't press him for one. Rather, she stood on her tiptoes and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. He let himself be lost in her for a moment, let her overwhelm all his senses – touch and taste, vision and smell. He didn't need to hear her to know she was there, after all.

Her mouth was becoming more insistent, her hands roaming gently across his shoulders and chest, and her body pressed flush to his. It would be so easy to guide her back to the bed here and lay her in the sheets and lose himself in her body, so easy to forget their troubles for the time being and just be together. That was an indulgence he couldn't grant himself, though. He'd not ruin her when she was so very vulnerable. When she had her voice back, perhaps they could discuss it. But for now he was close to being her only friend. He had to know that he was her choice, not just her only option.

It hurt to push her away, but it would hurt more if he let it go too far. She had the same resigned look on her face she had every time he pushed her away, though, and that hurt worse. She turned away again and sat on the edge of the bed with a huff.

"Are you alright?"

She nodded, but he knew it was a lie, coming to sit next to her.

"Belle? You can tell me."

You don't want me, she signed to him simply. It's alright, I understand. I'm just disappointed is all.

Didn't want her? Oh gods, he had completely messed this up.

"I...it's not that," he blurted out.

He had nothing else to say. Why had he started speaking?

It's not? Her hurt expression replaced by cautious optimism.

"Of course I want you," he replied. "But it would be wrong."

Why would it be wrong?

"Because it would be taking advantage," he tried to explain. "You're lonely and alone and I'm..."

He gestured towards himself, willing her to understand. When she just looked at him he was forced to continue.

"You could do so much better."

Shut up, she signed. No one gets to tell me who I want. That includes you, Rumpelstiltskin. I'm alone, but I know what I want. I'm not an innocent because I'm inexperienced. I'm not vulnerable because I can't speak. I want you, not the person you think I should want.

He was left gaping at her outburst, at least partially because she signed faster when she was angry and that was the longest he'd ever tried to decode himself. He briefly wondered if it would be horribly inappropriate to take a video and ask Henry to translate before she was going off on him again.

If the reason you've been pushing me away these weeks is because you think it would be taking advantage of me, then you need to tell me that now because I've been going insane trying to figure out what I'm doing wrong.

"No, it's not that." It was completely that, but if he admitted it now he was going to sound like a jackass. Well, a bigger jackass. "It's just...it's been a long time, Belle."

How long?

"Longer than you've been alive," he said with a little self-deprecating smile. "And longer still before that. I don't want to disappoint."

Still better than me, she replied shyly. You're it. Nobody else, ever. Even kissing.

He gulped at that and had to shut his eyes against the images she was giving him, but they flew open again at her hand on his thigh gently.

I won't push you, she signed. But I do want you. Just you. No matter what you think about yourself, I do want you.

Oh, he was completely lost. Well, if he was damned anyway may as well go whole hog. He thrust his fingers into her hair and pulled her in for a hard kiss. He would give Belle anything she wanted, and if this was what she wanted he wouldn't disappoint her again.