Jacob had never learned how to swim. The thirty years he'd spent on this planet, all the things he'd done, and choices he'd made, and his greatest regret, until recently, had been that he'd never learned how to swim.
He used to dream about it, disappearing under the ocean waves and propelling himself down into the quiet world that waited for him there. He'd pictured a place with no foster parents who liked to slap him around when they were drunk, no kids sneering at the "food stamp brat", and no social worker predicting he'd wind up behind bars before his sixteenth birthday.
Bill had once promised him that he'd teach Jacob to be anyone he wanted to be. That hadn't exactly been the truth. Jacob had learned how to become anyone his clients wanted him to be. So far none of his jobs had required that him to pick up this fundamental skill that most of the world had mastered before they entered middle school. Maybe one them would, some day, provided he lived through tonight.
It felt strange sitting here, watching Liz sleep and waiting for his potential murderer to arrive. He had never been someone who calmly accepted his fate. He'd always fought to survive. Jacob still couldn't quite believe the decisions he'd made in the past four hours, decisions which could very well be the end of him.
Even as he acknowledged this truth, he couldn't bring himself to regret what he'd done. Jacob felt like he'd had the first time he'd jumped out of an airplane; scared, but also exhilarated. The choice had been made, and when the time came to pull the shoot, it would either work or it wouldn't. In the meantime he might as well enjoy the sensation of the freefall.
Liz stirred in her sleep, twisting her sheets as she did when she was having a nightmare. He hated watching her like this because it made him feel helpless. Jacob could protect her from physical threats, but he had no power to protect her from the terrors inside her own mind.
"No. No. NO NO NO! Daddy!" Liz sat bolt upright, having scared herself awake. She looked around her apartment, as though she was searching for something she couldn't find. A sharp knock pulled Jacob's focus from his screen. Reddington. Jacob was surprised he was bothering to knock.
After quickly checking to confirm the identity of his guest, Jacob opened his door and admitted the Concierge of Crime and petite, birdlike woman with chin-length black hair.
"Mr. Kaplan needs the exact location of the body." Jacob was careful not to let his surprise show on his face as he gave the woman directions to the dumpster, as well as to the hitman's car. After taking the key Jacob had stolen from the dead man, the woman was gone without addressing one word to him. Jacob couldn't believe that she was the infamous Mr. Kaplan. He'd heard of Reddington's personal cleaner, but somehow he'd always pictured a big guy with a mustache, maybe eastern european. How on earth would that woman be able to even move the corpse, let alone dispose of it? Jacob shook himself slightly. Mr. Kaplan wasn't his problem, Reddington was. At the moment the man was sifting through the items on Jacob's table. As he picked up the hotel key card, Jacob choose to break the silence.
"He was staying in at the Hilton in Midtown. Room 203." Jacob doubted the man had left much behind, but there was always the chance they'd get lucky.
"Have you examined it?" Jacob shook his head.
"No. I didn't want to leave her." Reddington's frown deepened. Perhaps that hadn't been the wisest choice of words.
"I appreciate your efforts tonight Mr. Davis, but I'm no longer in need of your services. I'm sure Bill is anxious to start you on your next assignment." Reddington waited for Jacob to turn and exit the apartment, but he held his ground. This was it, the moment of truth.
"He called me. The man who hired the assassin." Reddington tilted his head to the side, as though he was unsure what he'd just heard.
"Really? And what exactly did he say?" Jacob took a deep breath, possibly one of the last he'd ever take.
"He offered me a job. He wants to know how you and Liz are connected. He offered me double what you were paying me. Ten million per year." Reddington's gaze bore deeply into Jacob's eyes, and for the first time Jacob felt he could see there the exceptionally dangerous man beneath charming veneer.
"An offer I assume you wisely declined." Rather than answer Jacob decided to go on the offensive.
"Do you know who this guy is? Why he's after you? Is he the reason you hired me?" If Reddington knew where the threat was coming from that would be one thing. Jacob knew Reddington's reputation well enough to know there were few criminals who could be considered his peers. If however Reddington was fighting a ghost that changed things considerably.
"I fail to see how that is any of your business." So that was a "no". Whoever this person was they had to be very smart and cautious to hide from Reddington.
"I can help you." Jacob needed to be very careful, present his proposal in just the right way, or else he suspected Mr. Kaplan would likely be disposing of two bodies instead of one.
"How?"
"By working for him and feeding you information from the inside." He wasn't sure which was be more dangerous, being a double agent inside Reddington's enemies organization or proposing the idea to Reddington. Reddington had gone very still and a vein had started to twitch in his forehead.
"Absolutely not." Not the most encouraging response, but at least no gun had been drawn yet.
"How long have you been hunting this enemy of yours? Two years? More? What has it gotten you? My guess is not a lot. I didn't kill that hitman tonight, he beat me to it. He knew who you were and he far more frightened of his boss. That is who is coming for her now, someone more frightening than you, and I am the best chance you have of stopping him." Jacob paused a moment to let that sink in: A man more dangerous and ruthless than Reddington. That had to make an impact.
"And why would you do that?" A fair question and one he would need to answer honestly. Why was he doing this? Guilt about Gina? Partly. Mostly, though it was something else, a feeling that had been growing inside of him for two years.
"I don't want her to die." The thought of Liz on the ground with a bullet between her eyes sent a wave of cold all the way down through him. Her death was unacceptable.
"So this is about protecting her? Not about some fantasy you've been nurturing while you were supposed to be watching over her." There was a dangerous query. If he was honest he could hardly deny there was a part of him that was rejoicing. How many hours had he spent watching Liz, wondering what it would feel like to made her smile, make her laugh. Hold her. Kiss her. Make love to her. Unfortunately Jacob knew that was exactly what Reddington did not want to hear. It would be better to dodge than answer.
"There is a man out there somewhere who is hiring operatives to infiltrate Liz's life. I assure you that if it is not me, it will be some else. How exactly do you plan to handle that? Murder every man who displays romantic interest in her? Send her into hiding, make her give up her entire life for and hope you enemy doesn't find her again? Or do you want to end this threat once and for all?" So what if he had feelings for Liz? Wasn't that better for Reddington in the long run? If he didn't feel this connection to her there was no way he would be offering to take on so risky an assignment. This whole deal benefited Reddington far more than it benefited Jacob. Jacob waited while Reddington considered his arguments.
"If we were to do this there would be terms. First, you stay under only so long as this man survives. When he's dead it's over, you disappear. Second, she never learns the truth. Not about you, and especially not about me." Both conditions seemed reasonable. Jacob nodded his assent.
"Agreed." Jacob was debating extending his hand to Reddington to seal their contract when Reddington strode past him towards the door. The visit was apparently concluded. He stopped at the door.
"To be clear Mr. Davis, if you do not hold up your end of the agreement or if any harm come to Elizabeth, there will be no where on earth Bill could hide you to protect you from me." Number four on the most wanted list left before Jacob could respond.
He couldn't believe it. It had worked. After that close call Jacob definitely needed a cigarette. He went to his kitchen drawer and pulled out the pack he kept for special occasions. He lit up and allowed his lungs to fill with smoke, then slowly exhaled.
He'd need to call Bill, tell him what he'd done. The Major wouldn't be pleased, but he could sell this. Reddington had fired him before Berlin had hired him, so technically there had been no client betrayal. The money was incredible and Bill was greedy, so that would help. He wouldn't tell him about the deal with Reddington. Bud had his suspicions about how Jacob felt about Liz, but so long as they were unconfirmed, he'd look the other way.
Jacob needed to starting building the parameters for his legend and forward them to Berlin who would provide the documentation. Who did Liz want? Who would he become? Jacob looked at the cigarette between his fingers, and with a sigh put it out in the sink. Given her father's history with lung cancer, a smoker would be a turn-off. So a non-smoker. Someone honest. Someone committed. Someone she could one day see herself starting a family with. Someone who was not at all like him.
That thought hurt more than it should have. So what if Liz would never choose someone like Jacobs Phelps? It didn't matter. Jacob Phelps couldn't afford to have anyone in his life that he cared about any way. It would be too dangerous. This though, Jacob could have this. A little time living a fantasy with a woman he'd wanted for over two years. He'd protect her while indulging in his infatuation. It was enough. It has to be enough.