I'm sorry this has taken so long ! This chapter really did not want to get written for some reason. In exchange, you get an extra long chapter! Also, there will be a lot of Grell's "POV" in this chapter because referring to her as a guy makes me feel very uncomfortable.
Disclaimer: You know the drill. The only thing I own is Xaelijor, though she would vehemently disagree.
"Sebastian, we need to leave for London tomorrow." The Earl Phantomhive instructed his butler. "There's a serial killer that the Queen wishes me to go investigate."
"Yes, my Lord." Sebastian said, bowing slightly.
Xaelijor looked up from...whatever it was she was doing at the other side of the table. "Did someone-" She interrupted herself with a coughing fit. "Did someone say a serial killer?" She was way too happy about that prospect, Ciel thought.
"Yes, I did. You're not coming." He stated matter-of-factly.
"But-what? I'm your bodyguard!" Xaelijor complained loudly. "I have to come with you if there's a serial killer on the loose!"
"In case you haven't noticed," Ciel pointed out, "You're sick right now. You should stay home in rest so you can actually do your duty as a bodyguard."
"Fine." Xaelijor pouted. She left the room, sneezing. Ciel narrowed his eye(s) in suspicion. She had given up too easily. She must be really sick, he decided. He got up to investigate what she had been focusing on previously.
Lying on the dining room table, there was a drawing of Ciel, sitting proudly in his wingback chair, with Sebastian standing right by his side. If it weren't for the pencil next to the paper, Ciel would have thought it was a photograph. In the margins of the paper, there was a poem written in Latin.
"Si deus me relinquit,
Ego deum relinquo.
Solus oppressus nigram clavem habere potest.
Omnias ianuas praecludo,
Sic omnias precationes obsignos.
Sed,
Qui me defendet,
Ab me tereblissimo ipse?"
Ciel, making a mental note to translate it later, flipped over the paper and immediately saw that there was no need to. It was written out in English, accompanied by a photorealistic drawing of Xaelijor. She was standing in front of a large, intricate set of doors that was floating in a void of white. Ciel's bodyguard appeared to be challenging a white silhouette that was a blank, bald mirror of her, set apart from its surroundings by a small cloud of black particles.
"If God has forsaken me,
Then I shall forsake God, too.
Only the oppressed may possess a black key.
I close all doors,
Thus I seal away all prayers.
However,
Who protects me
From the me who is most terrible?"
He carefully transferred the paper to a side table. He would ask his bodyguard about it when he and Sebastian got back.
-0-
The next morning, after the Earl and the butler left, Xaelijor, who had woken up about an hour previous, stopped feigning sleep and tossed on her usual outfit, wrestling her hair into a large bun. The still-sick girl then allowed the shadows to bleed into her hair. After all, while blonde hair was common in England, her gold hair stood out too much. She stiffened as she heard Mey-Rin outside the door. She quickly slipped on her flats, grabbed her military boots, and jumped out the window, making sure to avoid Finny. From there, she followed the carriage tracks to London.
"Now, if I were a Phantomhive seasonal home, where would I be?" She wondered aloud, before shrugging. "Worst comes to worst, I can ask for directions, I suppose."
-0-
'I really wish people would stop calling me a guy,' Grell thought mutinously, before mentally conceding, 'Okay, yes, I did choose this role. Suck it up, Grell. Actresses play men sometimes. That's life.' However, she was also very happy to be near Sebastian. She might love Madam Red, but Sebastian...he was one hot piece of butler! The disguised death god was brought out of her internal drooling when the small group stopped in front of a dingy little store.
"Why are you even familiar with this sort of place!?" Madam Red scolded her nephew.
Sebastian answered for his master. "Because the person the young master knows works as an undertaker."
They were greeted with an empty, cobwebby, coffin-filled room. "Is this normal?" Lau asked, referring to the singing coming from the back room.
"No, it's not." Ciel informed him.
"If you find the living a bore,
There's a place you can go
Answer the call, go over the wall
Where the crosses are all in a row
Mind the trees, get down on your knees,
Sneak in just like the breeze
Look around, though you won't be found;
It's just you, Edgar Allan and me."
"Undertaker, are you here?" Ciel asked the store. He was answered by the creaking of a coffin lid, and insane laughter accompanied by a high-pitched voice.
"I knew...that you would come…" The casket opened, a man with long grey hair peeking out. "Do you want to see how it feels to sleep in my custom-made coffin?" The man stepped fully out of the coffin, tapping Ciel's nose gently.
"I didn't come here to play today." Ciel stated tiredly.
"Oh no, you don't need to tell me," Undertaker said, chuckling. "I know why you came. With just one look, I can tell what's on your mind. Since the Earl came out of his way to visit me, I'll certainly do everything I can to help."
"You know something?" Ciel asked, unsurprised.
"Please take a seat first. I'll go prepare some tea." Undertaker told them, gesturing to the coffins. "Oh, and there was someone who wanted to see you."
-0-
"Xaelijor? What are you doing here?" Ciel asked disapprovingly. Said girl was handing out the beakers that had been filled with tea.
"You couldn't possibly have expected me to stay home, Sir!" Xaelijor said cheerily, coughing slightly.
"No, but one can hope." The Earl groaned.
"After the last four serial killers I've met, there's no way I'd turn down the chance to meet another!"
"You know what?" Ciel sighed. "I don't want to know why you knew four serial killers."
"I've never heard that song you were singing before. What's it called?" Lau interjected.
"I don't know, but I call it 'Cemetery Picnic'*. You know, you actually sound a lot like one of the serial killers I knew." Xaelijor told him, smiling brightly. "His name was Barry the Chopper. He was a huge dork once you got past the whole 'I'm a giant suit of armour with an obsession with cutting people up' thing."
Disturbed, Madam Red informed her that she was way too cheerful about that.
-0-
"Want some?" Undertaker offered his bone cookies to his living guests. The only person to accept one was Xaelijor. "This has happened before, a case where prostitutes were murdered. In fact, they were killed in a similar manner, too. In the beginning, the police didn't think much of it, though those murdered all had something in common."
"Something in common?" Ciel asked. "...What is it?"
"Well now, I wonder what it is, indeed." Undertaker had a sly smile on his face. "Is it bothering you?"
[Short Montage of Undertaker Explaining Payment and Lau and Madam Red's Attempts at Making Jokes]
"You're the only one left, Earl." Undertaker waved his hand at Ciel, face split into an insane grin. "I've helped you many times before, so can't you be nice to me just this once?"
"Damn…" Ciel muttered, only for Sebastian to step in front of him.
"I guess it can't be helped," he sighed.
"Sebastian!?" Ciel asked.
"Oh, it's the butler's turn now?" The scarred undertaker giggled.
"Everyone, please step outside for a moment." Sebastian "requested". "You absolutely must not peek inside."
The group followed the butler's order. Xaelijor sat right next to the door. "I'm gonna listen in."
Grell sputtered. "A-are you suicidal?"
Xaelijor just winked, discreetly sending her shadows in to watch. After a few seconds, she started coughing.
"Are you okay, dear?" Asked Madam Red.
"Y-yeah," the blonde choked out. "I just...I was not expecting that." As she spoke, Undertaker laughed so hard that his store's sign fell down. The demon butler had started tickling him mercilessly, and with no warning whatsoever.
Sebastian opened the funeral home's door with a benevolent smile. "Please come back in. We can continue our discussion now."
-0-
"Accurately cutting specific organs out of a person couldn't be done by just anybody, could it?" Sebastian pointed out. "These couldn't have been committed by a regular person."
Xaelijor agreed. "They'd need either the medical knowledge to do it, lots of practice, or both. There's no way this is just your run-of-the-mill serial killer." She smiled widely. "No, this one is interesting."
"I feel that way too." Undertaker said seriously. Using Xaelijor instead of his anatomical doll to illustrate his point, he elaborated. "He should slit the throat first, and then proceed to cut open the stomach." Heels clicking against the dusty floor, he strode over to Ciel. "From the looks of the culprit's work, that cruel accuracy definitely was not carried out by the average citizen. It has to have been someone experienced." He poked Ciels face with a cheeky grin. "But you should've been able to figure that out too, Earl." Taking a more serious track, he asked, "Sadistic killers like this one don't stop until someone makes them. Can you stop him?" He paused. "Villainous Noble-Earl of Phantomhive?"
"I will do whatever it takes." Ciel replied. "I will not be scared, and I will not back down."
-0-
Despite the sick bodyguard's best efforts, she had fallen asleep, head landing on Lau's shoulder. When they reached the townhouse, everyone tried to wake her up, to no avail. Eventually, they decided to have Grell carry her in and just set her in one of the chairs.
-0-
When Xaelijor woke up, she was filled in on the plan. To say she was excited would be an understatement. So would it be to say she was amused by Ciel being forced to act like a "lady". Though the Earl did do better than expected him to.
-0-
"Lau's role is my lover, Ciel is my niece from the countryside, Sebastian is her home tutor, and Grell and Xaelijor are my cousin and his fiancée." Madam Red reminded them.
"So...why am I your niece?" Ciel asked grumpily.
"Because I always wanted a daughter I could dress up in those long, pretty dresses!" Angelina Durless joked. To deflect Ciel's anger, she told him, "I'm kidding. To have your cover blown would be a very troublesome thing, no?"
After no small amount of teasing and cajoling, Ciel finally conceded. The group split into three pairs.
"S-so, where should we go, E-Ebba?" Grell stuttered. 'Making up aliases on the spot is hard!" Grell thought, taking the black-haired girl's hand in her own. She really enjoyed the choice of outfits-a flattering red suit for her, and a red gown with black and gold accents for her "fiancéе".
"The food table of course!" Xaelijor was bobbing on her heels excitedly, causing her gold necklace to bounce in front of her. It appeared to be an image of either a lion or a dragon, making Grell curious as to what it symbolised. Grabbing Grell's white-gloved hand in her black-clad one, she dragged the shinigami towards the buffet. "Come on, Garnet!"
When they reached the food, Grell asked the girl, "Why the food table?"
"Two reasons," Xaelijor laughed, shoving an entire petit four in her mouth, "People talk more near the food, and I'm hungry." As she said this, she wrapped a small collection of pastries in a handkerchief, then stuffed the bundle into a hidden pocket in her sash.
"Point taken."
The duo made small talk with the other guests, finding out what they could about the Viscount Druitt. Grell allowed a little bit of the flamboyance of her actual personality to shine through. After some idle chatter, Xaelijor withdrew to the walls, partaking in the snacks. Some time passed before the music started. Only two measures had been played before Grell stood in front of her date.
"May I have this dance, my lady?" The red-obsessed "butler" offered her hand to the girl, who accepted it, after making sure nobody was listening in and saying, "Eh, what the hell."
The scarlet-clad duo swept onto the dance floor gracefully. Ciel and Sebastian passed them on their way through the dancers, but Xaelijor didn't think they noticed her wink at them. The music floated over the dancers, Grell and Xaelijor appearing as drops of blood in a field of blackbirds and colourful flowers. Though Grell was acting as the man for the dance, it was obvious to her that Xaelijor was leading. Her eyes were closed, and she hummed in time to her steps. Grell barely managed to prevent her from falling when the music stopped. The two made their way to Madam Red and Lau, smiling genuinely. They were so caught up in their dancing-induced euphoria that they didn't notice Sebastian's intervention by way of a "magic" trick.
Xaelijor collapsed into a chair next to her "fiancé"'s "cousin", pulling out her packet of pastries. "Whee! So, has dear 'Celine' managed to ingratiate herself with the Viscount?" She asked Sebastian.
"I believe so," remarked the supposed tutor, before pausing. "I believe my assistance is required. Feel free to leave the gala without us."
-0-
They reached the townhouse just a little before the demon and his contractor. Prior to retiring to her room, Xaelijor bowed to Grell.
"Thank you for a lovely evening, my friend." With that, Xaelijor ran up the steps, releasing her hair from its updo.
Watching her "date" go upstairs with a soft smile, Grell mused, 'Well, tonight definitely could have gone a lot worse.'
And that's that! I had to fit in some final friendship fluff between Grell and Xaeli before crushing her heart into little tiny pieces, of course, and this was the way to do it.
Grell: It's a shame she'll have to be incapacitated in order to kill the Ear-*gets shoved back into the story*
Hey, I might love your character, but that does not excuse trying to give spoilers to the viewers! Just ignore her, k?
*It's actually called Graveyard Picnic, and it's by Voltaire. You should all look it up-it's a really good song. 0w0
Also, the "poem" at the beginning is "Si Deus Me Relinquit", one of the songs from the Kuroshitsuji OST.
Videre potes!
~Pride