Flying to school today wasn't even possible. With all that stuff Mum packed me, it's no wonder I can still move. I tried to talk her out of bringing all this junk but, she never listens.

I can still remember shopping trips with Mum. It even makes me shudder, when I hear the word 'shopping' from out of Mum's mouth. Even when we have plenty of stuff at the shops she just insists on more. I'm not even going through another growth spurt anymore, so why on Earth does she insist 'that shirt looks great on me?' I have enough clothes.

Today, I ended up having to get up earlier than I normally do so I could ask Bulma to borrow a jet-copter. The question is though, how am I going to explain how I got a fast, top of the line helicopter? Maybe, I must just land it some distance from the school, to avoid that trouble.

I'm dreading this. I've been dreading this day. People are surely going to find out who I am. The first thing everyone will wonder is how I know Bulma. I can make something up but, it's not like they will believe me. Mum's told me over one hundred times I'm terrible at lying and it's something I shouldn't be doing. Yet, she says in any situation I have to lie, it's better not to because I'm as bad as Dad at keeping secrets. We all know how obvious he can be.

What's going to make this month a living hell is someone will mention my Dad and all I will be capable of doing is running from the building. I don't want to remember my past, if only they or anyone could see that.

Grabbing two suit-cases overfilled with clothes I take them outside and close the jet-copter and run over to school. I make my way over to there, running at a speed where everyone can still see me and at a speed where I know I will hopefully get to school on time.

"Gohan, you're on time," My teacher, Mr. Donaldson looks in shock standing outside of the bus, "Go find a seat, so we can go."

I nod, "Yes Sir," I walk onto the bus with my suit-cases, with fear they will open and teddy bear underwear will fly everywhere. I go take a seat next to Sharpener.

"Hey man!" Sharpener calls out. What is up with him? Why is he being nice to me all of a sudden?

"Who cares? Who's being nice to me? No-one."

"Hey Sharpener," I smile, "how's it going?"

He answers, "Good man, so," He stares at my suit cases, "what's up with the suits-cases? We aren't leaving the country." And this is why Mum goes overboard. Even my friends know it.

"My Mum," I blush, "She insisted I needed all this stuff," I shrug, "I don't even know why."

"Did you tell her that?" Sharpener asks.

I whisper, "I tried." As I try and block out the memory of this morning.

Hours ago…

"Now Gohan you're going to be gone for a month. An entire month! How, I will miss my baby!" She grabs me tightly into a hug, "I'm going to miss you!"

"Mum!" I try and break free from her hold.

Mum lets go, "Back on topic, Gohan! You're going to need clothes."

I shiver: clothes. I really hope she doesn't pack too much. I already packed enough but, then again Mum doesn't know what too much is.

"Who know what clothes you will need?" Mum grabs my clothes from all my drawers and empties all the clothing out onto my bed.

I shudder. I have to stop this madness, this embarrassment; I feel if I have every piece of clothing with me, "Mum I survived in the wilderness when I was four; I think I can survive with the clothes I already packed!"

"I survived! Key word I did, not you!"

"Nonsense Gohan," Mum disagrees.

I try to explain, "Mum I'm going to look weird if I have two suit-cases! Normal people have one – you're the one who said I need to seem normal at school."

"But, honey! You need this stuff!" Mum insists, "I even packed your studies."

"Not the study card!"

"Mum, everyone thinks I'm strange already!" I try to clarify it, "I don't need everyone thinking I'm even weirder!"

"Fine! I won't pack your studies," I sigh in relief, "but, you will do them when you come back home." Sweat drops from my forehead. Will she ever give me a break?

"Hey!" Goten, my six year old brother calls out, "what's going on?"

"Mum's making me pack too much stuff." I complain.

"But, you need it!" Mum zips the first case up with much difficulty. She then walks over to my bed and grabs more clothing, "see all this stuff? It's not going to fit in just one suit-case."

I sigh in defeat, "I give up."

"Brother you told me to never give up," I look at Goten in confusion. When did I tell him that?

"I told him…but, how? I don't even recall him hearing me."

"Well Goten," I explain, "there are some things you just have to give up on because it's a lost cause."

"Are you trying to teach him to be a quitter like you?"

"But that's not right Brother," I look in questioningly at him, "you told me to never give up no matter the situation."

I've never told my brother that. I don't know why exactly I never bothered to tell him. It must be because some part of me had kept giving up.

"Exactly! You gave up living when Dad died. You stopped fighting and locked me up. You blame me Gohan but, even if I am your saiyan side – I'm still as human as you are."

I lie, "I remember now Goten." I smile hoping he believes me but, deep down I'm living the illusion that I told him. I gave up fighting long ago. I can't keep going because I'm tired, "however, in situations where Mum doesn't like to listen there is no point." I sigh, "I don't need so many clothes."

"I know what you mean Gohan," Goten explains, "I hate meatloaf but, I have to eat it."

I nod, "Exactly Goten."

"Gohan," Goten asks, "when does Mum listen?"

End of flashback

Mum doesn't listen to a word I say but, if she does, clearly she ignores them. There is not point in trying to argue with her as you would probably lose your own arm.

Sharpener gives me a questioningly look, "Let's just say Mum wouldn't listen or even begin to understand."

"That's how mothers are sometimes," Sharpener agrees, "Sometimes they need to know when they're doing too much or over exaggerating but, it's not like they ever notice."

I half smile and nod, "Exactly."

Mum never notices. That's the problem; she doesn't notice all my problems. She knows I want to be perceived as normal. She wants me to be normal. But, the one thing I could control she left out of my hands. She couldn't let me have one thing be normal?

"Nothing about you or I is normal Gohan!"

"So, Gohan are you looking forward to today? Like meeting Ms Briefs?" I blink. How am I going to hide knowing Bulma? I know there is no chance of her hiding it; she will thrill at any chance to laugh at me, just like Krillin.

"I do too –you forgot about me too! Idiot!"

"Yeah, sure," I try to smile answering but, it fail.

Sharpener frowns, "You okay? You don't seem alright man?"

I act like I'm okay, "Oh, I'm fine Sharpener! I'm just a bit tired. I had to get up early to get my stuff packed. Mum wasn't too much help though as she filled an extra suitcase though."

"Sounds real helpful," He laughs, "I know your pain man, but it will so be worth it my friend." I can't believe it; he said I was his friend!

I moan hiding my excitement from Sharpeners words, "I just want to sleep." But, I wasn't lying as Goten kept me up last night too. Sadly I got more sleep in wilderness training than this.

"Me too," Sharpener leans against the window, "I wonder how long it will take to get there."

"It shouldn't be too long." I reply knowing a power like Vegeta's is not able to be missed.

Sharpener looks around in boredom, "I hope so."

"ERASA NO!" Videl's voice erupts in anger.

Erasa tells her best friend, "Calm down Videl. I was just asking –"

"No I refuse to wear some dress thing!" Videl yells. Her anger reminds me of my Mother. If only right now I was away from here, this situation would be so much better. My own hearing is going to be the death of me.

"It's a dress." Erasa states casually.

"Well, whatever it is," Videl huffs, "so, you can parade me around like I'm from the circus or something. It's not who I am!"

Erasa calmly explains, "Well, you use to wear dresses."

Videl growls, "I grew out of them a long time ago."

"Only when your Mum passed away," Erasa looks sadly into her best friends eyes, "you refused to do anything the way you use to. But, out of all things you kept your hair in pigtails."

"Well-"Videl is startled by what Erasa said.

"Some things don't change, when they should." Erasa look sternly at Videl.

Tears form in Videl's eyes. I just want to hug her and stop the pain. I don't know why, though? Have I felt pain like that? "Mummy liked my hair in pigtails," She sniffles, "I couldn't take waking up one morning and doing nothing to my hair. It doesn't feel right."

So Videl feels that kind of pain.

"The pain I endure but, you don't."

Erasa grabs Video into a hug and notices everyone's stares, "Would you mind your own business?" Everyone quickly looks away

However, I quickly peek over to Videl who is just sitting next to Erasa. She seems okay now, I hope she will be.

I can't help but ask, "Are you okay?" I mean it with all my heart.

Videl frowns, "I'm fine!" and turns her back.

"Fine."

"Fine is the white lie we tell ourselves we're okay. Stupid human half tells that to himself everyday. Videl is just like me except for the fact I'm hidden from the world. She opens up how she feels every once in a while but, I can't. Gohan doesn't either. He's just like a stone, who doesn't feel, move or touch."

"I was just trying to help." I pout.

"It's a lost cause. Videl doesn't like it when people are involved in her business." Sharpener explains.

"No she isn't." I whisper. Am I a lost cause too?

"You are."

"I am not." I say aloud. That voice, it sounds so familiar.

"Either that was a good sign or a bad sigh. I really am really unsure. I hope that wasn't the sign that we're close to death…"

"What are you not?" Sharpener looks in puzzlement. Didn't he hear what I heard?

"Alright class!" Mr. Donaldson announces, "We're here!"

Dread feels my gut over these words. I have a giant feeling things will not be the same for me. Some part of who I am is going to be revealed but, I have changed, haven't I?

Of course I have. I've done my mother proud and I helped raise Goten. There's nothing wrong with that.

"What about happiness?"

So why does it feel like everything leads back to fighting? To Cell and every other bad guy I've faced? Why does it feel like I haven't dealt with the pain properly?

"Because you don't but, I do. Everything leads back you and I because we're Gohan! We're a warrior, a hybrid. You have saiyan blood but, you're a coward and you haven't used me in six years! I feel like you except I bare the pain! Me – not you, you imbecile!

When you wake up one day and I'm there, you will grieve for everything like I have. I'm just like you, as I am you. Fighting is our destiny. We were always meant to fight but, you took that away and it's no wonder you and I are so sad. We question everything because you haven't tried to ask me any questions, when it hasn't been just my fault.

You found someone to blame but, really it's not fair that you can just pin it on me. Together we're one and apart we're like broken glass. I'm the part that bleeds and you're the part that is blunt and useless."

Why do I feel like I want more in life? Why don't I feel good enough?

"Okay, exit in an orderly fashion," Mr. Donaldson counts head as everyone exits the bus with their luggage in hand, "everyone better be on our best behaviour ," He says and then goes up to the door and speaks through the intercom, "Orange Star High fieldtrip students are here." He walks away from the door.

A minute later Bulma comes out with Vegeta and Trunks, "Hi I'm Bulma Briefs," she waves cheerfully, "welcome to Capsule Corporation! We hope that you enjoy your time here!"

"We sure will." Sharpener is eyeing Bulma creepily.

Vegeta growls and glares while pointing daggers at Sharpener.

"Anyway," Bulma clears her throat, "that man next to me is my husband Vegeta, and I must warn you to not hit on me for your sake, otherwise bad things will happen to you." She points to Trunks, "And this is my son Trunks."

"He's such a cutie!? Erasa gushes, while Videl sweats in embarrassment.

"So today I will show you all to your rooms. Everyone will share a room with one person, so in pairs basically. But, the pairs have to be of the same sex, for good reason," Bulma explains, "everyone got that?"

I nod along with everyone else, "Gohan!" Looking up I see Trunks run towards me. I know this isn't going to end well, "let's play." He grabs onto me. I shudder and sweat bullets. How on Earth am I going to get myself out of this one? How do I even get myself into these kinds of situations?

"Hi Gohan! My favourite and only godson," Bulma walks up to me and hugs me. Is she trying to humiliate me to death?

"Hi," I hug back, "Trunk, Bulma," I look nervously, "Vegeta." Who scowls at me. I remove my hold. How am I going to explain this? 'Oh, yeah guy's, it's not what it looks like' –it is what it looks like. That's the problem.

"So Gohan," Videl growls, "how do you know them?"

Erasa smiles, "You heard Bulma, she said that Gohan was her godson."

Bulma smiles at Videl yelling at me. This just isn't my day, "Why wouldn't you tell me?"

"I thought it was no big deal." I say honestly.

"No big deal!" Videl retorts.

"Gohan is as naïve as his father. His father and I go awhile back." Bulma explains.

"Really?" Videl looks in disbelief.

"Really," Bulma calls out, "everyone follow me!"

I walk slowly behind everyone. Today has started off so bad and it all got worse. I honestly, don't know if anything else can humiliate me. I just want to go to bed and wake up at home, where I can be myself; without feeling so judged.

As I take a few steps into he entrance someone grabs me. "So you think you can escape who you are?" I hear the voice send chills up my spine as my eyes are closed in fear, "you can't, you're life force is fading."

I open my eyes to see them, "What are you talking about Vegeta?" I blink, "I know I haven't been training but–"

"Not training doesn't cause this normally but," Vegeta sighs, "you locked up your Saiyan side."

I look in confusion, "What about you talking about?"

"You don't even know or it seems you can't remember." Vegeta's words trail off like he's in shock or something.

"I don't know what? And what can't I remember?" I demand.

"You forgot…and it seems along the way you forgot who you were." Vegeta comments confusing me, "And I should've been able to notice straight away, I had a big feeling."

"I haven't forgotten who I am." I defend myself. I'm me, that's who I am!

"You have forgotten." Vegeta states, "Let me ask you this, did you ever grieve over your fathers death?"

I feel like someone's just shot me in the chest but, there's no blood, "Yes." I feel like the answer was a total lie but, it's the truth, isn't it?

"Let me ask you again, did you, the human grieve? I know the Saiyan part of you has." Vegeta demands.

"No." I feel my mouth move for me, "Why?" I don't even know the reason as to why he's asking me this.

"No wonder you're fading away. With two separate entities you'll surely both die, you must be one." Vegeta explains.

"What?" I look in disbelief. I'm so confused, as to why this is happening, "how do I stop it? I ask.

"You really want to know?" Vegeta challenges me. He knows I will not like the answer he will give and the solution to this problem.

I beg, "Please." This is my life. I haven't had my first kiss, gotten married, watched Goten grow up, had children. I don't want to die!

His mouth moves, "You have to start training again otherwise I will guarantee your demise."

"I can't," I panic, "I promised myself I wouldn't."

"Well," Vegeta explains, "you're going to have 'unpromise' yourself that. If you don't see me every morning in the GR, you won't have a choice."

"But I don't have a choice!" I argue.

"Well you do, you either train with me and unlock your saiyan side and unite as one or…" Vegeta stops.

"Or what?" I fear to find out the answer.

"You have less than a year to live." Vegeta walks away.

I stand in the same spot, still as a log. I feel the world go dark inside my mind. Time's stopped here. I'm here and I can't escape.

"What am I going to do?" I cry, "I can't do this on my own." I feel the pain for the first time in six years.

I bury my hands into my face and collapse into a ball crying unshed tears.

I just want to go home. I just want things to be different. I need someone to hold me.

I miss him so much. I just want him to be here, "DADDY!" My sobs erupt. It brings me back to the last moments I had him...

He teleported in front of me. I felt like such a failure. What kind of person let's their rage get the best of them, when the entire universe is at stake? Me.

"Daddy?" I looked in confusion. What was he doing? Why was he looking at me with such pride? I'd made a big mistake; he should have looked at me with such shame.

I heard Dad speak, "You made me proud Gohan, you put a good fight. I need you to take care of your mother for me. Tell her I had to do this." I looked in such shock that words couldn't come out of my mouth, "Goodbye my son."

He disappeared taking Cell with him.

Tears escaped from my eyes and he was gone, "DADDY!"

"Daddy, I need you." I cry, "Daddy, why is this happening to me?"

"This was the way I felt when you had me bare the pain for six years. Alone.

It's up to you Gohan whether we live or die. You have to make the decision. Are you going to be weak or are you going to find the strength like we did before when we had to transform into a super Saiyan?

The question is, are you going to let everyone down? Are you willing to have no-one? Because if we die, what would we tell Dad? We were weaklings? That you gave up? Or that we were to blame for Cell? And that's why you locked me up because you blamed me but, also yourself.

Gohan, I can help you but, you have to let me free. You have to fight, things will get easier with me their. You won't be alone but, you have to start fighting, please."

"Please."

"Who said that?" I ask as I wipe my eyes. Suddenly I can see something like a ghost standing in front of me. But, it can't be – they're a super saiyan. I stutter as I notice they're familiar, "You're, you're…"

"You, yes I am. I'm your subconscious."

"But, you're me from then!" I look in absolute shock. Why is this happening?

"The Cell Games? Of course, that's when you left me in a blank part of your mind where you would forget of my existence."

"What does this mean? Is this what Vegeta was talking about?" I ask.

"We can't be one, especially when I am in this form."

I question him, "Why not?"

"You do realise we're slowly dying."

"Why now? And how?" I stare in shock.

"Because today was different from any other day, after that day."

"So you're a ghost?" I wonder.

"Kind of, I will be a real ghost soon along with you."

"What do you mean exactly?" I ask in puzzlement.

"If you die, we become one. To make it simple, it doesn't matter which way you have it, we will become one by choice or by death, without a choice."

I look with fear and desperation, "What do I have to do?"

"I know how you feel. I am you but, the first step is so simple."

"And that is?" I inquire.

"Enter the gravity room with Vegeta tomorrow."

"And if I don't." I really don't want to train with Vegeta. It's like taking a ki blast deliberately –its suicide.

"You'll die. Actually, we'll both die."

"So can I see you all the time? And hear you?" Will I have my own on privacy? Probably not.

"Yes and you will probably get the strangest person of the year award too."

"Probably." I agree. People think I'm strange enough as it is. Talking to thin air, that is just the first sign of insanity or that you're dying.

"I also need to say something to you Gohan. You blamed me for Daddy's death but, you also had half the blame –"

I subject, "I don't want to talk about it." I really don't want to talk about.

"See, that's your problem. I'm your pent up emotions you hide. I am your hidden desires. You don't think I know pain – I am your pain. It hurts when I can't stop crying at night because you can't bare the pain like I have. If you would accept pain as a part of life, I would too."

"I didn't mean to do that." I feel so ashamed. I did this to myself, so another part of me could deal with the pain alone, without even realising it; just so I could protect myself.

"You were angry I understand but, I didn't deserve this. I know both of us cry out for Daddy's forgiveness but, we have to work together. Not as separate entities."

"I'm so sorry." I apologise knowing this was my fault and I have to do everything in my power to make everything okay again. I'm going to have to deal with hell to survive, that's always how it is.

"I am too."

"So you forgive me?" I hope to Dende, he does.

"I do."

"Friends?" I ask holding my hand up in the air to shake it, without feeling it.

"I think we should shake on Gohan as we are both aiming for the same thing."

"Brothers then?" I smile.

"Brothers it is."

Stayed tuned for what happens next! P.S. there will be some future chapters with other characters point of views: King Kai, Goku, Goten, Chi-Chi and Piccolo. And I will be busy with uni so chapters won't be fast but, telling me to write it -gets me motivated (the chances of me writing the chapter(s) will increase).

Peace out! Hope you like my story so far! :)

- Pink Sparkles