Disclaimer: I don't own Kung Fu Panda
Doubts Are Their Weapon, It Is Their Tool
The sounds of the wooden floor creaking under his feet accompanied Po on his way to his room. No matter how many scrolls he'd read, the floor remained an undefeated enemy. He gazed at the corridor, taking notice of the closed doors and the darkness. He took his time cleaning the dishes and the dinner was a bit longer than usual, too. Thus he assumed that everyone had already turned in.
Stopping in front of his door he glanced over his shoulder, staring at the door to the room opposite of his and much to his frustration he found himself hesitating like the time he was giving her the message from her mother. Still, this time it was different.
She looked happy, he repeated in his mind, remembering how she smiled in the light of the setting sun, standing there with her family. Her family, she's found them. She's happy.
He turned his head back to look at his door, sighing in defeat. He knew it was his fault. He knew he should talk to her, but... did he want to? She looked happy and he was improving at both Kung Fu and manners. Should he not leave things as they were?
„You grab the handle and push, big guy. It's really not that hard."
Po's eyes went wide with surprise. He quickly snapped his head to the left, searching for the origin of the voice.
„Down here."
Looking downward, Po spotted Mantis smirking at him from the floor. Concern radiated from the green bug's eyes.
„Oh, hey, Mantis. I didn't wake you up, did I?" the bear asked worriedly.
Mantis fought the urge to smile. The size of the panda's belly could never compare to the size of his heart, that's what the bug liked about him.
„Wasn't sleeping yet. I was actually waiting for you to show up, you know. To see if you're alright and all."
The panda put on his usual smile. „Thanks, but you don't need to worry. I'm fine."
„You're about as fine as I am heavy, mister I-can-open-the-door-by-staring-at-them."
Po almost chuckled at that, but stopped himself. Despite the bug's usual amused tone, the look in his eyes was telling him that he was serious.
The panda's eyes then widened slightly as a thought crossed his mind. With a rather unamused expression on his face, he refocused his gaze at Mantis.
„The others are awake with their ears pressed against the door, aren't they?"
The insect's expression turned to that of a plain surprise. His gaze was switching from side to side for a moment before he sighed tiredly, all amusement leaving both his features and tone.
„Kind of. Maybe. I don't know," he said, rubbing the back of his head. „The truth is we discussed and decided on one of us staying awake to check up on you. It was Viper's idea and I volunteered."
The bear rised his brow with a mixture of confusion and annoyance.
„Viper gave me the same look. Honestly, why is it so hard for you to believe that I care?" the bug spoke defensively. Po was going to apologize but Mantis resumed talking.
„Look, we don't want you to think that we doubt you. 'Cause we don't. You've been our leader for two months and you've been doing a hell of a good job at it," he paused, then lowered his voice a little. „Although you sucked as a battering ram."
„I was really trying to forget that one," Po spoke in an annoyed tone, but ended up chuckling at the memory nevertheless.
He took a moment to regain his composure before talking. „Thanks, Mantis. I appreciate it," he smiled sincerely. „And don't worry. I... just need to get some sleep. It's been quite a day after all."
„Yeah, can't argue with that one," Mantis replied, seeming satisfied with the panda's answer. „Good night, then. And just remember we're here for ya, alright?"
„Sure. Good night," Po responded with a nod, then finally entered his bedroom. He glanced at a pile of scrolls near his bed, considering the idea of distracting himself with writing a report on his progress with the move he came up with.
Reaching under his sleeping mat he pulled out a loose floor board and picked up a small wooden case. Opening it, he scanned the contents. All was just as he left it. He was about to reach for the scroll he sought when his eyes fell upon the one he recieved just the night before.
His hand started to tremble, whether from nervosity or the backfire of the Water Dragon, he wasn't sure. He suspected both. He turned his head to stare at the door, his mind racing once again. Huffing in annoyance, he shook his head to clear his mind, then put the case back and covered it with the board.
Throwing his robe on the floor, he picked up a bottle of salve and proceeded to rub it onto his right arm, then wrapped the appendage in bandages. From the certainity his hands moved with it was clear he wasn't doing this for the first time.
After making sure the bandages were firmly in place, he laid on the mat, trying his best to fall asleep.
„So, what did you want to talk about?"
Tigress didn't reply at first, she just assumed her usual posture. Putting her hands behind her back and making her face into an emotionless mask, she gave herself a few second before she spoke as the night wind gently moved the fallen leafs across the courtryard.
„I'd like a report on what happened during my absence. I have been gone for a... significant amount of time and I'd prefer to know of anything important that occurred."
Crane groaned inwardly. She was still prefering the official, formal approach, it seemed. He was sure he knew where this conversation would lead to, but he still decided to play along, not wanting to anger the tiger.
„Well, you already know about the gorillas issue. Not much has happened aside from that. Just one bandit attack and one fire that broke out in a nearby village," he replied, watching her stoic expression, waiting for her to lead the conversation to the sought destination.
„I see," she said, her tone even. „And here at the palace? I know I have left rather abrubtly, not to mention my position as a leader..."
Feeling himself grow tired, Crane took the way her voice trailed off as a cue. „He's been doing well. Not that he hasn't got us worried from time to time, but he's still Po."
Her eyes widened slightly, her voice grew notably defensive. „I did not-"
„Tigress, please!" he interrupted her. „For crying out loud, I am not stupid."
She felt the urge to retort, but stopped herself. This was Crane she was talking to, after all. Quiet, but perceptive. No sense in beating about the bush.
„How much has he... changed?" she finally asked, her tone still firm but somewhat softer. „He didn't sound like himself at all during the dinner."
„He worked on it, yes," the avian said with a nod. „That was his longest and best performed speech in formal manner, as far as I know."
Hearing that made Tigress wince inwardly as she remembered a rather long and all too formal conversation she had with the bear a few months ago.
„It seems he took the role of a leader seriously. He's... matured," her voice lowered slightly and she looked away, frowning. „It would seem it was a good thing for him... that I left..."
Now it was Crane's turn to frown. „I disagree."
„What do you mean?" she asked, her brow raising.
„It may seem as if he's undergone some... good... changes, but it's all forcible. He's just pushing the real himself behind, putting on a mask that is not him. He sees it as a necessary thing, as a duty," his tone turned sullen. „And honestly I think he's just hurting himself."
„But... isn't that how it works?" she inquired, giving the avian a rather confused expression. „Adapting to a new situation? Changing to fill in the-"
„Tigress," he spoke silently yet firmly. „This is Po we're talking about. You should understand the... weight of such changes, I've known you long enough to know that. Would you consider them good for someone like him?"
She felt a growl threatening to escape her throat at the mention of the subject, claiming that he knew her, but she let out a sigh instead.
„Do you... think it's my fault?"
He glanced away, contemplating his next words. „It certainly has a lot to do with it," he answered after a moment, making her turn her gaze downwards. „In one way or another."
„One way or another?"
He nodded. „Po claims he started with it to make up for the lack of your presence. But a lot of those things: the words, the training... it got too advanced too soon after you left, not to mention that the first few days he seemed to be in plain denial, refusing to accept the fact that he had to lead. He had to start earlier."
„You think... during my outbursts?" she asked, putting on her stoic expression again in order to hide her inner turmoil.
„That would make sense, too," he agreed, looking in the direction of the barracks. „But I believe there might be something else."
„Like what?"
Crane's eyes narrowed in thought as he recalled the moments that gave the birth to the avian's suspicions: the way the panda avoided some of the questions, the scroll he said to be from Mei Li... or the lines under the bear's eyes in some of the mornings. Crane assumed it was due to him reading through various scrolls over night at first, but later he took notice of the distress in Po's eyes... dreams perhaps? The avian wished he knew...
Glancing back at Tigress he noticed she was still staring at him questioningly, expecting his answer. He readjusted his straw hat, considering whether he should tell her about his suspicions or not.
No, he concluded. She's just returned after finding her family for goodness' sake... though she could be the only one Po would open up to...
He shook his head in the end before replying. „I have too little to build upon, but there are things that have me suspicous," he paused as she eyed him inquisitively. „I just can't say for sure, yet."
She studied him for a few more seconds, then nodded her understanding. „Do you think I should... intervene somehow?"
Crane paused again, thinking it over. „I don't think you should, I think you have to."
Her expression turned to a puzzled one. She raised her brow questioningly, urging him to elaborate.
„The way I see it, you are the only one who can truly reach him right now."
She sighed tiredly, her tail twitching in thought. After a moment she looked up at the skies, her voice barely above a whisper.
„But how?"
„By starting slowly, maybe getting some sleep first. Everyone's likely already asleep."
„Alright," she said with a nod, gesturing for them to go toward the dormitories.
„And don't worry," he added silently, making her turn her gaze toward him. „It shouldn't be too hard."
„How do you mean?"
Crane smiled grimly, but fondly. „Because I know he doesn't blame you, he blames himself," he looked at the moon in the sky. Moon that has always been there and always would. „He is still the Po you knew."
The scene was both familiar and new. He saw it a few times before, but he still found himself noticing things which eluded him before. Or perhaps he just could not remember them.
The general sensation was the same, just as he wrote it down after it happened for the third time. He saw and felt the river as if he was part of it. A fish swimming through the water, or perhaps even as if he was the water itself. He could feel the current, the wind creating the waves, the way the river fondled the banks...
A peculiar shape in the distance caught his attention. An oddly shaped rock amidst the grassy plains that reminded him of some sort of horned animal. He could not remember seeing that, although he felt as if he should recognize it, judging by the strange feeling of dread that filled him when he looked upon it.
Before he could think more about it, a feeling of anxiety ran through him. This he remembered, and although he knew well what was to come, he was still shaken to the core by the shocking change in the scenery.
The river remained, but the surroundings disappeared under vast masses of fire. The flames reached high into the skies, the loud cracking accompanied by the sounds of distant screaming. Screaming of an uncountable amount of voices.
It felt as if the cries came from the grass itself.
He did his best to steel himself against the pressure of it all, patiently awaiting what he knew would come next. After a few more moments the water from the river rose high into the air, taking a form of a huge dragon, its watery skin shifting constantly.
He watched the spectacle unfold in front of him. The majestic creature fighting off the flames, using its long body to shield the grass. He was taking in every detail of the battle he could, only vaguely realizing something...
...that he was getting to the point where he usually woke up. Yet, the fight continued, the dream still not ending. And then something happened, something he was sure he'd seen in his dream for the first time.
Just like with the water, the fire changed shape and took a form as well. But not that of a dragon, and Po's eyes widened in horror when he recognized the animal.
The fiery beast lunged at the dragon, using its claws in attempt to tear it apart. Suddenly Po's vision shifted and he found himself watching everything from the dragon's point of view, fighting in its stead.
Searing pain shot through him as his foe continued to main and rend, attacking without relent. Blazing eyes glaring at him with hatred, the mouth opening and letting out a thunderous roar.
It didn't take long and he found himself on the recieving end of the blows, shrinking under his enemy's anger. He did his best to fight back and yet he felt despair rising in his heart.
„Stop!" he cried out, barely noticing the tears that rolled down his cheeks.
„Why? Why? Stop!" he kept shouting, recieving only more blows as a response. For a moment he thought he saw the shadow under his attacker take the shape of the rock from earlier, but he was not allowed to make sure of that when another successful blow made him cry out in pain.
„Po!"
„Po! Snap out of it, man!"
„What is happening with him?"
He scarcely heard the shouts echoing all around him, not being able to focus on anything but the being of fire he was facing.
„Stay away from me!"
He was no longer aware of the fact that he was dreaming. The way he saw it, he was fighting for his dear life.
„What's gotten into you! Stop fighting! PO! It's us!"
He felt his back being pressed against something. He could not back away.
„Don't come any closer!"
„Damn it, panda!"
The beast launched at him. He raised his left arm to defend himself, only to have sharp fangs bury themselves into his forepaw. He shut his eyes, hollering in pain, feeling himself fall.
He opened his eyes abruptly, his gaze shifting from one side to another, his heart beating at a rapid pace.
„Wha-what?" he stammered, confusion spreading all over his features as his vision cleared. He was lying on the floor of the barracks hallway, many of the paper walls torn down. The Five were standing around him, with the exception of Tigress, who was actually pinning him down, a mixture of worry and anger written on her face.
„G-guys?"
„Phew! He recognized us! I was getting worried!" sighed Mantis in relief, hopping onto the panda's shoulder. „What happened to you?"
„M-my arm..." Po spoke silently, feeling traces of pang in the limb.
„That doesn't explain much. And I don't remember you havin' those bandages yesterday."
„No, my... left... arm," Po replied to the bug, looking in the direction of the mentioned forepaw which was being held firmly by the feline.
Tigress eyed it eneasily, then hesitantly released her grip, slowly standing up. Po used his right arm to support himself in order to sit, making Mantis jump off, then rubbed the place where he still felt the pain.
„So," Monkey spoke up after a few moments of silence. „Are you going to tell us what happened, buddy?"
„I... uh," Po gulped, putting everything together in his mind. „I had a nightmare."
„Dude, did you learn to sleep with your eyes open or something?" Mantis asked incredulously. „You were fighting us off for about two minutes with eyes wide open!"
„I was?" the bear asked, finally turning his gaze from his limb to his friends. They nodded in reply.
„We heard you screaming from your room, so we went to see what was wrong," Viper said. „You weren't responding to our attempts to wake you up. Then, suddenly, you jumped up from your bed and started fighting us."
Po looked at each one of them with shocked expression, the looks he recieved as a reply confirming that the snake was telling the truth.
Shutting his eyes, Po brought his palm to his face. „I don't-"
„What is the meaning of this?"
„Master Shifu!" they all chorused, slightly startled by the red panda's sudden appearance.
„Don't bother with the formalities and explain what happened!"
The Five glanced at each other worriedly, not really wanting to face their master's anger. Tigress, being used to take the iniciative in such situations, opened her mouth to reply, but was beaten to the punch by Crane, who took the role of backing Po up lately.
„Po had a nightmare, master," the avian spoke. „We tried to wake him up and ended up startling him and... things got a little out of hand."
It sounded somewhat lame, but Po still nodded in confirmation, giving Crane a thankful look.
„I'm not sure I can agree on the 'a little out of hand' part, Crane. I could hear you from the Sacred Peach Tree..." Shifu said grimly, looking around the devastated hallway. „And not to mention the state of these walls."
Po forgot his formal ways for a moment and started twiddling with his fingers, muttering a silent apology.
Shifu sighed tiredly, then motioned for The Five to leave the barracks and go on with their daily routines, wishing to be able to talk with Po alone.
„Po," the red panda spoke after the others left. „I believe you have some explaining to do."
The panda looked away, grimacing. „I'd like some sort of explanation myself, to be honest."
„Po-" Shifu started sternly, then sighed, lowering his voice, making it more gentle. „What was the dream about?"
The Dragon Warrior winced, half trying to recall in vain the parts he couldn't remember, half hesitating to tell his master of the parts he could.
„I was fighting someone," he paused, scratching his left elbow. „And I got my arm wounded. In the dream, I mean. But I can't remember anything else."
„Not even whom you were fighting?" Shifu asked, looking rather suspicious, yet concerned. Po only shook his head in reply. „Alright then... is it the first time something like this happened to you?"
Po smirked teasingly. „I think we'd all remember if I had woken up fighting the Five in the hallway before."
Shifu didn't seem amused by the answer, but he refrained from scolding the bear. „Try to look into the scrolls on Inner Peace and meditations I gave you. And should it occur again... in whatever fashion... make sure to let me know."
„Yes, master," Po replied, bowing while still sitting on the floor.
„Good. Now, follow me," Shifu beckoned, leading them outside until they reached the closet that held repairing tools and other similair equipment.
„Of course I'll want you to repair the damage you caused," the red panda said, handing Po the things he'd need to mend the walls.
„Yes, master."
„And I'll have one more task for you once you're done with it," Shifu continued, reaching for another item. „You do know it's autumn."
„Uhm, yes?" Po replied, obviously confused. His eyes then widened slightly, scanning the tool his master was handing him. „Oh... of course."
The morning training went peacefully for the five masters. Tigress found herself quickly adapting back to the familiar routine. Despite them all being still slightly shaken by the morning incident, they managed to act normal, having few friendly conversations here and there during breaks.
Tigress was mostly speaking just with Viper, the snake being ever so happy about the feline's return. When the time came for their lunch break, Tigress separated from the group, deciding to stop by the dormitories where she expected Po would be still fixing the walls.
She found the hallway repaired, with the panda nowhere to be seen.
Reaching the kitchen she was greeted by the sight of the rest of the Five already eating their lunch. Po's seat was empty and an empty bowl was lying by the sink.
„Hey, Tigress."
Tigress nodded in response to Viper's greeting, taking her seat while smiling inside at the prepared bowl of soup at her usual spot.
„Po already ate. He was just leaving for the gardens when we came here."
„Gardens?" the stripped master asked, puzzled.
„Yeah. Shifu has him raking the leafs," Monkey said after swallowing a mouthfull of his soup.
„It's not a severe punishment, but I still think it wasn't necessary," Viper voiced her thoughts while stirring her soup. „He caused quite a mess this morning, but it's not like it was his fault."
„Well, it's not just that," came Mantis' voice from the counter where he was getting himself another helping. „I caught a bit of the talk Shifu was givin' him. Turns out Po almost set the kitchen on fire yesterday. And had Zeng deliver some messages while Shifu needed to send something himself."
Hopping with the bowl back onto the table while managing not to spill a single drop, the bug continued. „The way I see it, Shifu had the punishment prepared yesterday, but put it off due to Tigress' return and all."
The tiger nodded her understanding, then started eating. They hadn't spoken about Po for the rest of the meal, switching the topic to regular things instead, plus a few formal questions about how Chun and Jia fared.
After they finished their lunch, Tigress volunteered to take over the dishes, subtly gesturing for Crane that she wanted another word with him.
„So," the avian began after they were left alone. „What do yo-"
„You didn't mention anything like this morning's incident during our conversation yesterday," she interrupted him, not taking her eyes from the sink.
„This was the first time anything like that happened," he countered. „And despite the fact that I have trouble believing it, it does not have to do anything with the... other things."
She wordlessly put the bowl away, then picked up another, repeating the process. After a few moments of silence, she turned her gaze to him, her voice cold. „And the moves he used?"
Crane blinked, then turned away.
„I don't believe he managed to get ahead of me in the Thousand Scrolls. And even if he did, I should still be able to recognize them," she fully turned to face the avian, glaring at him. „I did not recognize many of the moves he performed this morning."
„He's still behind you in the scrolls," he muttered silently, still not facing her. „The moves you saw were his own."
Tigress turned to fully face him. „So... he's been coming up with new techniques. He's been doing that since his first day here." She paused to study the bird for a moment. „There's something else you're not telling me."
He didn't say anything, only hid his face under his hat. That alone was more than enough of an answer for her.
„The pile of scrolls in his room?" she asked, remembering the moment she entered the panda's dorm that morning.
„I doubt it," he replied, his tone hinting on uncertainty. „They're mostly about the history and geography of China. He has many of them from me."
„Well," she said, turning back to the sink. „There only one way to be sur-"
„Tigress, don't."
The urgency in his tone made her turn her gaze back to him. He was finally looking straight into her eyes.
„I put a lot of effort to make sure he doesn't think we doubt him. To make him believe that we belive in him," he stressed the words with such power that Tigress actually seemed surprised. „I won't have you sneaking into his room."
She put the last of the dishes away, then crossed her arms over her chest. „You're doing a poor job at making me believe that he's fine."
„I... know the value of confidence," he replied in a silent voice, pausing to look at his legs for a moment, before gazing back at her. „I won't take part in causing him to lose it."
The feline's stoic expression faltered, her eyes going soft for a moment. Silence filled the room before she broke it, though her voice was barely louder than a whisper. „But something should be done."
„Yes."
A rare sight presented itself before Crane's eyes. Tigress looked actually uncertain, doubtful... almost timid. He found himself thinking back to the conversation he had with Monkey and Viper.
Perhaps Viper wasn't so far from truth, after all... he thought, looking at the tiger with concern. It may not be as extreme as Monkey suggested, but...
„There won't be anyone except for him in the gardens," he finally said, turning to walk away from the kitchen. „That's your chance. Take it."
He left the room, not looking back at her. She remained standing there in the silence, the change in her expression mirroring her determination rising.
„I will."
A/N: Hi! There goes chapter six, I hope you enjoyed it! One way or another I thank you for reading! Though I must say that I am VERY uncertain about this chapter. I'm not sure why, it's just that I have this habit of writing it down the way the thoughts go through my mind and... maybe I think too much, I dunno. I'd appreciate if you voiced your opinion, be it good or bad, really. I'm starting at the next chapter right away this time, so, hopefully, see you soon!