I Want To Know What Love Is Chapter 4: Free, a teen titans fanfic

(Author's Note: This song is Free by Haley Reinhart. This song is commonly interpreted to revolve around lovers, so I thought just putting the lyrics as I normally would would make it seem irrelevant and even wrong. So I made most of them as parts of the dialogues, in italics! I hope you guys enjoy this so far, favorite, review, anything! =) Also, huge thanks to LadyFelton, Egyptiandude, gabylokita, Gabrielus Prime, Pugpie15, deathdeathdeath, Nkcandygirl, BUTTERCUPISME, Harmonious Wolf, Kuratu, musicman159 & wolfking98 for the fave/alert/review! Late, I know, but I felt I had to do it anyway!)

"I'm safe. Grateful decency."

Terra sighed in relief and walked on the pavement in the direction of her hideout; in a dank alley where she made herself home.

Twenty minutes later, she arrived 'home'. She concealed herself in a fitting room made of earth to change.

Living alone in dirty conditions would have been more of a downer if she did not have her superpowers. But she hated having powers too. They were the primary reasons she was caught in such a mess.

Once she cleaned herself - not by showering but by using her powers to remove all kinds of natural dirt from her - and got changed, she stepped out of her cover. She was going to cook dinner next.

Her mind was so troubled with thoughts of Beast Boy and the events that just occurred that she did not realize that there was someone spying on her.

"Let's see what I can eat tonight," Terra talked to herself as she began scavenging.

"Why do you let yourself go downhill?"

Terra knew that voice all too well. She widened her eyes and looked around cynically.

"H-how d-did -"

"Terra..."

Slade then appeared right in front of the panicked geomancer. Terra instantly backed away as if Slade were a creature from a horror movie. He practically was, with his stalker-ish ways of doing his businesses.

"Stay away from me!" Terra yelled in a grave tone from fear.

Slade let out a sound that gave Terra the impression that it was a snicker, but it was kind of an arrogant one.

"You do know there is no way of getting away from all your troubles, right? It's not like I'm invisible. After all, even after all this time of our supposed doom up until the moment we breathed on Earth again, you still wear me under your skin. Haven't you ever wondered how you were brought back to life from being a stone?"

Slade slowly walked towards Terra while Terra kept the distance between them constant by taking backward steps. Terra wanted to attack, but it would just confirm what Slade was trying to tell her to open up to.

"Come now, Terra," Slade continued. "Don't leave me hanging on. You have a mouth, use it. Before, when we talk, our relationship was less than a master-apprentice one. Now, it still feels like we don't talk at all."

Terra did not give a respond, but did react by continuing to keep her distance from him.

"Surely, you have wondered the what-ifs of your life. What are you still doing here in Jump City, where the Teen Titans can easily spot you?"

Terra was now breathing heavily. She was about to pass out when she found herself at a dead end.

"Oh, that's right," Slade continued messing with Terra, "that's because if you can't get out 're too weak to leave, too stubborn to give in. You're living a life in a pending decision."

With Terra stopped at her tracks, Slade finally closed the gap.

"But I can help you," he breathed softly but eerily as he was a few inches in front of the scared teen.

"Why do you still need me? I'm not much use anymore," Terra finally spoke, her voice trembling like an earthquake.

"Progress; finally."

Slade backed away from Terra to give her space to calm down.

"I'm not here to make you work for me, I've grown past that," Slade said. "I'm actually here to help get you what you have lost. Long time ago."

"What are you talking about?"

Terra avoided eye contact with Slade as if he were Medusa ready to turn her into stone. She was definitely feeling as cold as a lone stone with the shivers she was currently receiving.

Slade continued, completely aware of how big of an upper hand he's had on her.

"So, who is going to be the first to say a truce?"

"How about you and we can just get this over with?" Terra said straightforwardly, still avoiding his eyes.

"It's not enough that we should part. There's no use in that. We can't stop fighting too."

Terra was extremely irritated and afraid. When will Slade leave?

"I don't need to be helped. I'm fine with where I am. But thanks to you, the Teen Titans know I've been pretending and are probably working on tracking me down."

"We've had our moments that we don't let go. But still we can't get close. Let's just say I want to make up to you by giving you a head start before they interrogate you."

Terra heaved a rough sigh in frustration.

"It's not that I have a grudge on the Teen Titans," she explained. "On the contrary, in any other circumstances I would voluntarily return to them at my... reincarnation. But I don't want to let them be involved anymore in my life."

"I know, Terra..."

"There is one thing I want you to tell me."

"How did you reincarnate?" Slade asked the question in Terra's mind. Terra nodded. He continued, "Well then, we have our case of 'I still need you, and you still need me'."

"I can live without ever knowing my life and death," Terra retorted coldly.

"You're lying, Terra. It's visible in your expressions; how confused you are of your very existence, how willing you are to find out what happened, and apparently also how scared and mad you are of me. But this tug of war can't go on anymore, Terra. I have something that can give you relief, and you can somewhat do the same for me. Nobody wins from this misery; it's time to set yourself free from your emotional pain and harmed mentality."

Terra uncomfortably shifted a bit in her spot, halfway to facing Slade. "Well..."

"Are you seriously still considering it, Terra?" Slade said in disbelief, but in his ever-collected tone. "Oh, Terra. Can't you see what I'm trying to do for you? This conversation we're having, it's only because I want to be, but also because I want you to be, I want us to be free."

Terra sighed. She was really considering the consequences and the relief that could be brought to her with her decision. She had made it, and was half-glad and half-regretful for it.

She turned around, finally seeing Slade's masked face.

"Tell me how I was basically born again," she demanded.

"Very good, Terra," Slade said, an unnoticeable hint of triumph in his tone, with the difference being that he spoke a bit louder and in a slightly higher pitch. "But I don't want to tell you that now. Not when I have something else to tell you that should be far more important."

"It's not about the Teen Titans, is it?" Terra did not care so much for the teen superheroes anymore, even Beast Boy, as long as they were not severely hurt, and she did not like the idea of going back to them after pretending that she had lost her memories.

"No, Terra. It delves much more into your past; something far more personal."

Slade randomly examined the roughness of the concrete wall of the alley as he went on.

"Do you remember, when we first met, that I told you that I know more about you than you know?"

Terra nodded. "You showed me my hair clip."

"Yes. Please recall who gave that to you. Was it your mother?"

Terra's eyes widened.

"How did you know?" Terra asked loudly.

"Like I've said. I also know that that clip was the last thing your mom gave to you that had sentimental value before your parents went on an experimenting spree."

"Where on Earth did you get such information?!"

"They were finding a way to enhance people's strengths and capabilities of fighting. One time, you got in their way on purpose when they were experimenting on your best friend. You saved him and neither of you were injured. Or it seemed like it. A few nights later, you got a nightmare, and that continued for countless nights, going crazy with events in your mind you've never encountered or even imagined before."

"Wait a minute!" Terra said, interrupting Slade's story. "There's only one person I've told about my nightmares to, and only one person who's comforted me during those nights!"

"Your brother; yes."

"So you get the information from him? But I thought he was executed!"

"Information for that remains confidential upon request."

"Since when have you become a person keeping your word, Slade?"

"At times. Now, I also know that you left your family - your old world - after a fallout with your mother. You used your powers for the first time unknowingly, and against her. Mind-numbed and frightened, you left your home, and your area, with the help of your powers to escape. You've been running ever since."

"Why are you telling me this?" Terra asked with tears trickling down her eyes as she recalled the events.

"I'm here to finish a mission; to bring you home."

"And why would you do that?"

"Let's just say there were incentives."

"Well, then," Terra said, sniffing and trying to stop her eyes from pouring tears, "too bad. I refuse to go home; they hate me, after what I have done. My mother, especially, is probably disgusted to have a counterproductive daughter like me. She has super high standards that I just know I couldn't meet, even with superpowers."

"But with time, things have definitely changed," Slade said in one of his least used tones; assurance. "It's not like she isn't loving you right now. She even believes that in your current state it's best for you to find a place to feel like a family again as it's just that you can't be alone for too long."

"I don't know, Slade..."

"I promise, Terra, I'm not here to torture you like the last time. I believe you wouldn't do my bidding anyway. For that, I'd like to wish you all the happiness your family can give you if you choose to return."

"How can I trust you? What if you're lying?"

"You're right, Terra. I could have an ulterior motive and maybe the truth is, it will kill me if you move on from your past when I'm trying to alleviate both ours. So, who is going to be the first to say enough? I'm not ready to give up on my past, because that's what develops me in the future. I've done bad things in my life before I put on this mask for the first time, and being dead and born again has really got me thinking of having one life to live."

"Then why are you still masked?"

"I've done too much damage here in Jump City. I don't want to expose myself and have it spread to other parts of the world."

"So you want to start anew?"

"Hm... You can say that. So, what do you say? Why do we have to find out who is going to be the first one to find true love when we have a potential solution for a win-win?"

Terra thought about it for awhile. She knew more than anyone except the Teen Titans not to completely trust Slade, but there was still that small chance that good things are waiting for her if she picked the right decision.

"You're not going to hurt the Teen Titans?"

Slade lifed his right hand up, "I swear unless they try to hurt me."

Terra took a deep breath, and stated her decision.

"I'm going to try to break free."

We don't let go, we can't get close
I still need you, and you still need me
This tug of war can't go on anymore
Nobody wins from this misery, free
Well oh can't you see, I wanna be, I want you to be, free

Slade informed Terra that they would be leaving immediately. Since Terra had nothing to take with her other than the clothes on her back, it literally took no time at all.

"We're going incognito, as always," Slade told his ex-apprentice as he swiftly jumped up to a short block, Terra quietly following suit with her powers to catch up to him.

"Aren't you going to explain to me how I was brought back to life?" Terra hastily asked as she was on a flying conjured rock with beside Slade.

"Not now, Terra. I'll tell you once we get there. Think of it as a collateral," Slade reassured. "But for now, just let it be."

"We're leaving the country, right? So we'll be out of Jump City," Terra pointed out.

Slade appeared to be aware of it as he gave no big reaction. Instead, he replied, "Jump City and I have never even been on good terms. But for now, we shall just let it be just a beautiful memory."

"A beautiful somewhat tragic memory with a year's worth of gap," Terra commented, lightening her own mood a bit. "It's just crazy that I'm going with you after I've betrayed you. But let's make it clear; I still don't trust you."

"No one does. And that's what can a life-redeeming experience can do to you. They say anything that starts will have an ending, but there's a new beginning on top of that that the idioms missed. This is our new beginning."

Terra looked out at the night sky. It was between dusking twilight and breaking dawn. "I guess so."

"It's good that you let it go that easily," Slade said, and Terra couldn't tell if he was being sincere or not.

The fact that they were so high up at night made it easy for them to go to their destination without being sighted. This went on for a few minutes when another questions popped into Terra's mind.

"Wait! What about Brian? Please tell me how he's alive!"

"It's a very complex story. But before I tell you this... bedtime tale, you must promise me that you will remain your mind on the objective at hand, no matter how tempting to do otherwise. Like the Teen Titans, for your brother you will let it go."

"Yeah!" Terra answered impatiently.

"It's funny and ironic, actually," Slade began, "he's masqueraded himself as a person I've met before. Who have worked for me like you have, and who have betrayed me like you have."

"An apprentice?" Terra wondered. She searched her memories for any hints. She recalled the time she was under Slade's control, and was fighting one-on-one against Robin.

"I see you are in deep concentration," Slade noted, interrupting her thoughts. "Are you thinking of the Titans?"

Terra shook her head in response, then lied, "No. I'm not because we both know this will only be over when we're free. So, no Titans."

She went on anyway.

"But Robin had told me he was an apprentice for you before I was. He's obviously not my brother. Even if I couldn't see his eyes ever, I know he's not Brian."

"You're right, it's not Robin, but it was. You just have not met him yet."

Terra pouted. "Why on Earth do you have to be so cryptic?"

"Well, until you figured it out, we're continuing with our mission."

With that said, silence fell upon them as Terra hovered the rock forward, towards the very small European country of Markovia.

Yeah, Oh, when we're free
Oh, I know, oh