Scene: Sarasaland, Chai Kingdom
Noel: Where's c-color? This must be miniature Earth; Eastern I-Island, Ancient Egypt, Ancient China, and an o-oceanic island all walking distance? How is that even p-possible?
Hakumen: Halt! Daisy must request tourist to tour around. Whatever she requests or invites, they come here no shit.
Noel: H-H-Hakumen?!
Hakumen: I'm no longer Hakumen! I'm one of the three artefactual heroes, Disrespect; guardian of the flower you see before you. Disrespect me means you're a sore-loser, A.K.A., dead man.
Noel: E..um but it's a colorful castle; the only thing that's colorful. You never spoke l-like that before.
Hakumen: Queen Daisy taught me new life! I like this life; It's simple, scare unwanted characters like yourself away or, become meat for kingdoms Easton and Birabuto. No more "Blazblue" crap. I dropped that universe a long time ago. That world was too immature for me to handle.
Noel: What a-about that m-man?!
Hakumen: What man?! Oh, that green snake bastard that shits on you every chance he gets?!
Noel: ...Yes...
Hakumen: Yeah I'll be sad too if I was as weak as you. Well he's the reason I joined Nintendo. He runs that putrid universe now!
Noel: EH?!
Hakumen: Man the shit is tragic. There's no more grass. All the trees, water and other nature elements are gone; everything is man made now, even foods that are now drugged and artificial! He took nature out! That's a red sign right there! How we gonna breathe?! Then he has the audacity to make deathly dreams become reality.
Noel: Y-y-you saying too much! STOP THIS!
Hakumen: Female let me finish before I forget! That tyrant snake took up all the homes and used them as storage for his personal belongings. Do you know how many people are out of a home?! That's a lot of useless shit to store up. Then the only way you can get a good, or should I say death night's rest is by only going to these surgical facilities. They will stab your head with these needles, which summons only nightmares to become active. Like if some shit dream of murdering someone, a beast raising havoc, or other manias like that, IT, WILL, HAPPEN! You can't even sleep no more because of all of these inhumane drives! You must stay wary for twenty four hours, all day everyday. That's some horrified bullshit I don't want no part of! All because that "special one" left the universe...which is you! You're responsible for this shit!
Noel: …o, o, o, of…*faints*
Hakumen: Pathetic. You always been an emotional pussycat. Mrs. Daisy! Dead body at twelve o' clock!
Daisy's Castle: BRING IT IN AT ONE!
Hakumen: Got you!
(Me: America, I know you feel sorry for her. This poor little soul is facin' all kinds of insults, name callin', shit with her "man," just straight up stress. Man people these a' dayz are takin' people's kindness for granted. You can't be nice to nobody no more man.)
Scene: Daisy's Castle
Hakumen: I think she's dead.
Daisy: No. Her pulse is still warm. It's a coma. All right, go back to your post and thanks for the information.
Hakumen: No prob.
Noel: *moan* M-my head.
Daisy: She's up! Hi I'm Daisy!
Noel: Oh god m-my head...D-Daisy?
Hakumen: Well I got something else to say.
Daisy: POST! NOW!
Hakumen: Damn I forgot. Thank you queen bee!
Daisy: Here's some advice Disrespect, go stick yo *beep* in dat gay Easter statue's mouth! Let em' *beep* job it real good cadet.
Hakumen: Insolent incorrect information!
Hakumen Exits
Daisy: You're never become a full fledged chief of defense wit dat attitude! Now you. How did you even no of this kingdom?
Noel: W-well...
Daisy: Hold it. Let me look at you.
Noel: W-why?
Daisy: ...Yea I see. You're different. You're not from these parks.
Noel: B-but why judge m-my appearance?
Daisy: You're thick. Women in this universe are skinny; even Rosalina, the big version of Peach. Everythang about ya is thick. Look at them legs.
Noel: Huh?
Daisy: Damn show wider than mines. Then yo body, just, just...wut the hell did you eat?! It won't surprise me if you're from Metroid; dat Samus is Xena I'm tellin' ya! Are you a tribade?
Noel: NO EWWWW!
Daisy: Then Nintendo came up with another game then. You're not a tribade 'cause dat's her all over. Who are you?!
Noel: I'm Noel, a NOL lieutenant from "Blazblue."
Daisy: "Blazblue?" Blaz...is dat a hat? GIVE ME!
Noel: WHA-OW! HEY!
Daisy: This is a man's hat. And you're not gay?! We butchin' women?
Enter Mu
Noel: Sh-she callin'...she...
Mu: Tell her...
Noel: NO!
Mu: TELL HER!
Noel: I'M INDEPENDENT!
Mu: Oh ho-ho-ho that's cute. Thanks for the ten percent of negativity. Now you can act even more like a junk yard dog. Trick I command you! TELL HER ABOUT THAT "YA TRICK YA" GIG!
Noel: NOOOOOOO...AHHHHHHHH! IT'S GOT-DAMN UNIFORM!
Daisy: Okay okay! *cough* Bipolar.
Noel: I heard that! I came to this empty ass place for help. HELP DAMMIT!
Daisy: WHO YO ASS TALKIN' TO LIKE DAT?! I NO DAMN WELL IT'S NOT ME!
Noel: N-n-no o-ne.*Freedom cough* Did this bitch put her bony ass hands around my neck?!
Mu: Yes. Yes, YES! Extract revenge on this toxic waste avenger.
Noel: I'm about to fuck her up!
Mu: YES GO ON MY VESSEL! SHOW HER YOU'RE NOT THE ONE TO FUCK WITH!
Daisy: No we don't do dat around here! Kids bow to their elders and strangers are no exception! OWRA! Bitch really? AHHH SHIT!
Mu: Now smash her face to pieces.
Enter Hakumen
Hakumen: What the hell's going on?!
Noel: Um, she hit her head on the stove.
Daisy: Bitch you lyin'!
Hakumen: ...Look like a foot mark to me. You beating her ass?!
Mu: Oh shit. If this man comes at us, we're screwed.
Noel: Um no! Y-you see...
Hakumen: Carry on.
Hakumen Exits
Mu: Whew. Now tear her ribs off and have her to eat them!
Daisy: YOU'RE FIRED FOR THIS OERO BASTARD!
Outside: Whatever. I'll leave on my own time.
Noel: STAY DOWN!
Daisy: OOF! Wait until Luigi comes here! You're ass won't last ho.
Noel: Well he's not here. Where's your man? I'm so scared.
Mu: Yes. Yes. Just a little more extraordinary acts.
Noel: I came for help about life! YOU WILL ADVISE!
Daisy: From a thick young ass bitch. Fuck you and your "Blazblue" world! AHH HIT HARDER BITCH! I'M NOT TELLIN' YOU SHIT!
Noel: Fine!...HELP ME OUT OR DIE!
Enter Hakumen
Hakumen: Okay now chillax. I know you kick ass when you're pissed but killing them? That's not you Noel!
Noel: It is today...
Noel morphs into Mu
Mu: Freedom. At last I'm FREE!
Hakumen: You. That's why he did the things he did. You're his creation.
Mu: A creation that hates her creator. I too hate his mere infected guts. He can kiss my ass for all I care.
Daisy: Wut's goin' on? So this little terrorist gets ported to our world. Fuckin' awesome.
Mu: Yes I'm a universal terrorist! Made to destroy all!
Daisy: Well go take out PlayStation and Xbox's stuff first. Make us last.
Mu: That's sounds swell but from you, request denied.
Daisy: FINE! I know flower-tech-fu ho! GOT!...Damn it felt like a truck.
Mu: Prepare for your demise. Pathetic that an effortless blow didn't take much for a contusion. Any last prayers?
Daisy: BITCH I GOT NAILED BY GREEN EYES EARLIER!
Mu: That's even worse. She can't even smash a bug to bits if she tried.
Daisy: Man yo ass is bipolar as a mother fucker! dat's a lot of woman too!
Mu: Excuse me?! Those are your last words?
Daisy: Bitch look at ya!
Mu: Sexy I know.
Daisy: Ho no! Wut's wit all this front and back?! You showin' too much meat now! Shit spoilin' check yo freezer!
Hakumen: Shit I left my sword.
Mu: Ask Master Hazama, he made me; plus I take good care of this. Maybe of you do the same, you would look more like a woman than a man.
Daisy: ERRR I don't got time fo' no Hazamo! BITCH DID YOU REALLY CALL ME A MAN?! Hm, well man beat slut any day.
Mu: How cute; looking like something from "Avatar."
Daisy: GRRR! Etched up spider lice statue of liberty! Okay I got some dresses and stuff in my closet! Please put somethin' on!
Mu: NO! I'm fine! I don't need anything from a random talking freak!
Enter Luigi
Luigi: Hey how we do? Yo we got a' newcomer!
Daisy: Bust her ass baby!
Mu: Sit.
Luigi: Wut's up naked wat's up?
Daisy: Yo BUST HER ASS WHAT CHA DOIN'!
Mu: SIT YOUR ASS DOWN!
Luigi: AHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCK!
Daisy: Baby she was wide open!
Luigi: Man let's tell her to...
Luigi & Daisy: Git off dat crack o' you will git smack!
Luigi: I don't know you but I will rip off yo belly button, tangle dat shit up in yo Colombian tubes, tangle dat shit up in yo bones, add some tissues in dat bitch, pour yo sperm on dat shit, cum my cool whip on dat trick, then shove it down yo throak final playboy swag!
Daisy: YEA! DAT'S MY MAN!
Mu: Just like Bang, an enthusiastic trash excuse of a vigilante that's all mouth lacking actual action. I can do what you just threatened so fast like it didn't even. So come, get up and face me once more.
Luigi: Bluff. Just bluffin' wit ya.
Daisy: Yea I'm sorry too.
Mu: Acutely pathetic. Well Hakuman, come, perish for these meager cockroaches.
Hakumen: I'm too damn old for this crap.
Mu: So you want world demise to come faster? Heh, heh. Everybody's emaciating the world with their selfish decisions. Very well. Fear shall crumble before me!
Hakumen: Just go expose a tit for those horny ass Eastern Heads or have "one," of them to perform cunnilingus on you.
Mu: Hm, women are always facing sex assaults from dogs. I personally had ENOUGH! DISAPPEAR!
Hakumen: OWWWWWWWWUUUUUUHWRA! GOOOOOO FINGERRRRR! WANCHI ASSS! NOEL WILL BE FREE!
Hakumen Dies
Luigi: Got-damn. Straight up mutilated this man.
Daisy: She's a god. So, mixin' Kratos and Asura up makes her...we're don for.
Mu: Now prepare for y'alls demise! Nasty couples like yourselves don't have a place in this world. No more last prayers; y'all used it to piss me off!
Daisy: Man look at all of these light needles. Damn I can't see shit.
Luigi: I don't want to die blind. Let's die fuckin'!
Daisy: Well we got little time but let's make the best of it.
Mu: Yes, make y'all's death creamy.
(Me: Ah c'mon bra! Really?! America, do you see this?! They wanna fuck for the last second! Every damn time you look up, they always do-ba-da-ba. GIVE BLUE'S CLUES A BREAK! Y'all already messed my bed up, just die with teeth fa' showin'!)
Enter Noel's Conscious(Only Mu can see and hear her)
Noel: Before you expunge us all, can I go pay Peach a visit? That's the last thing on the list.
Mu: FOUL! FUCKING FOUL!
Luigi: Oh yeah it's workin'!
Daisy:*moans wildly*
Noel: It's just a little visit that won't even last five minutes.
Mu: How? HOW?!
Noel: Well this is originally my body. You expect me to go away completely? Please. Azazel I will get my body back. Ow!
Mu: So you can feel. Perfect. You'll die right here and now.
Noel vs Mu let's a go!
Noel: Come on trick let's do this. YAAAAAAAH!
Mu: EEEEEEEYAH! Ah, ah, ah damn ENOUGH!
Noel: AH!
Mu: Hm.
Noel: GIEK!
Mu: You're nothing but a infant trying to best nothing! It's too late! I have utter ascendancy! Just, just go join "The Walking Dead." Rick's dying to put you out of your misery.
Noel: You're good, but that insult just caused you the match!
Mu: What?! Impossible!
Noel: HIYA!
Daisy: UUUUUUH BABY BEAR!
Luigi: Nah you can't win!
Mu: OW OKAY SHIT YOU WIN! YOU'RE OVERDOSING ON CRACK!
Fight over
Noel: Wroo that felt good. This spirit thing is awesome! You know what, take my ass to him. I think I'll go confront him, don't you agree?
Mu: Um, yeah. I doubt you can even lay a finger on him. "He raised you!"
Daisy: *Moans loud*
Luigi: BAT DAT SHIT!
Daisy: HARDER!
Mu: TURN THAT SHIT DOWN! Don't piss off the hand that feeds you. He did find you on the side of the road and took care of you until your true looks came out. All he wanted was love, what's wrong with that?
Noel: I looked at him as a father, not a lover. But sayin' "no" really let the devil out of him. He utterly despised me for that. I have no part of that universe no more. Now let's go find Peach and see what she has to say about life.
Mu: Ummm, yeah. Let's go learn.
Noel: I feel sorry for you.
Mu: I can host a rematch now!
Noel: Don't waste my time!
Mu: Trick that was all luck!
Noel: Very well.
Round two of Noel vs Mu let's a rumble!
Mu: MY NOSE! AH! FUCK!
Noel: Abracadabra!
Mu: GOT DAMN MANNISH!
Daisy: HEY WATCH THE WALL NOW! It's UH! OH MY LORD DAT'S DELICATE!
Luigi: I'm fixin' the wall right now!
Noel: Now say "Abbadabbas!"
Mu: Candy makes you, DANDY!
Noel: ABBADABBAS! You want your arm right?!
Mu: OKAY OKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Luigi: Damn Daisy! Eject some juice wit dat too now!
Daisy: Dat's not me! This bitch must be vibratin' or somethin!
Noel: That sounds even better! SCREAM FOR FUCKIN' WITH ME! DO YOU RUE MAKIN' UNETHICAL DECISIONS NOW?!
Mu: ABBADAABBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS!
Round two over
Noel: Won again.
Mu: ABBADAABBAAAAS! *pant* Abbadabbas *pant* Abbadabbas.
Noel: Now remove those lights.
Mu: *moaning and panting* D-damn you're impossible, *pant* what the hell. *pants twice*The power of *cough* spirits.
Luigi: Well we free! Let's take this to bed ballgirl!
Daisy: Let's really kill some lions sugar bear!
Daisy & Luigi Exits
Mu: W-why? You're not learning shit from this bitch. OW *cough, cough* SHIT! *pant*
Noel: You will have a clean mouth from this point on! You finally gave me independence! Thank you, now, take me to Peach! Then to that bastard.
Mu: You think it's that easy huh?...F-fine. *sigh* You can have your pathetic body back.
Mu morphs back into Noel
Noel: Alright. Peach, you're the last teacher on this list, I will heed your advice. Hakumen, I'm s-sorry.
Mu: I'm not.
Hakumen: "All because that "special one" left the universe...which is you! You're responsible for this shit! You're responsible for this shit! You're responsible for this shit!"
Noel: Well if I'm responsible, I'll fix it.
Mu: In your dreams.
Noel: You're peanut gallery bull crap is gonna have to end!
Me: Wow! What a scena. Rosalina is always right; she said being nice has limits and Ms. Noel tore that ass up TWICA! she's smarter than Peach. America, I'm protectin' the wrong princess.
Peach: Oh you are?! Excuse me, I'm stupid?! I'm real stupid?!
Me: Mama mia! You know I'm entertaining America!
Peach: But I'm stupid though! I'm fucking stupid?! And she's sexier than me! You just gonna end this huh?! 'Cause she got a "BIGGER ASS?!" FUCK YOU *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep*
Me: ...Turn it off. See ya America. I got a' personal problem to handle right now.
Camera fades away taking intense heat with it
Extra Scene
Daisy: Damn girl!
Noel: W-what?
Daisy: You're pretty big for yo age aren't cha?
Noel: ?! You're pretty small f-for a grown up.
Daisy: Let me tell you somethin', I'll rather be here anorexic than near obese word?
Noel: I'm alright, I think.
Daisy: And you're tall! Girl, I don't no wut you're on but stop it. Git off of it!
Noel: I'm not on anything!
Daisy: Dat's cute. You got a taste fo' fashion.
Noel: Well thanks but, this is uniform.
Daisy: Are those stockin's?
Noel: Um, these are leggin's'.
Daisy: Girl hook a sister up! Do you got they phone number and stuff?!
Noel: I'm not allowed to give you personal information.
Daisy: Wut's so damn personal about fashion?!
Noel: N-n-nothin'!
Daisy: Than hook a got-damn sister up!
Noel: Okay, how about I come back with this, stuff?
Daisy: Wit the hat!
Noel: Affirmative.
Noel Exits, enter Hakumen
Daisy: Wut's up Disrespect.
Hakumen: I got to sing you something special. Do you want to hear it?
Daisy: Well blast my head! Go fo' it!
Hakumen: Alright. HIT IT!
Otis Redding's Marry Christmas Baby melody arouses in the castle's ears
Hakumen: "I wish you a merry, Christmas baby! Happy New Year ha! Merry Christmas honey! Everything here is beautiful! I love you baby! For everything that you give me! I love you honey, MORE! Lord have mercy! A merry Christmas honey! A 'white', crystal baby!"
Hakumen exits still a' signin' with the music fading behind him
Daisy: O...kay?...Wow that was um, pop goes the crack head weezle.
Enter Noel
Noel: Here you go Mrs. Daisy.
Daisy: Oh my Luigi! I need to try this on like now! And you got the shoes?! Dat's wut's up!
Daisy Exits
Noel: Y-you're welcome.
Enter Hakumen
Noel: Eh? What else I need to know?
Hakumen: That's why I came. I listened to this song while I was driving my truck and this intriguing song comes on. It was so impeccable that I memorize the end of it. You wanna hear it?
Noel: Yeah why not.
Hakumen: Sweet. HIT ME!
Noel: Wha?!
The same melody returns to the castle's ears
Hakumen: "I wish you a merry, Christmas baby! Happy New Year ha! Merry Christmas honey! Everything here is beautiful! I love you baby! For everything that you give me! I love you honey, MORE! Lord have mercy! A merry Christmas honey! A 'white', crystal baby!"
Hakumen exits still a' signin' with the music fading behind him
Noel: ?! Um..."merry Christmas?" "Happy New Year?"..."White, crystal, baby?" And I thought...Taokaka was random but wow. Where did that come from?
Enter Daisy
Daisy: Well wut do you think? It fits perfectly! And the stockin's!
Noel: You l-look like general Snake.
Daisy: GRRR! Dat blow shit up bastard you have to unlock from BRAWL!?
Noel: NO! I'M TERRIBLY SORRY! I'M SO SORRY! I-I I'M JUST SAYIN'! Y...N-NO P-P-PPLEASE!
Daisy: C'MERE! I KNOW I DON'T HAVE CHILREN BUT YO ASS NEEDS A WROOPIN'!
Noel: NO! NO! I'M SORRY REALLY!
Daisy: Gotcha!
Noel: PLEASE DON'T! YOU LOOK SWELL! YOU'RE NO TOMBOY!
Daisy: THEN YOU SAID SOMETHIN' OUT OF WRACK?!
Noel: NO PLEASE! *screams at the top of her lungs*
Me: Man this girl can a' act.
Daisy: SHUT UP! ENDURE IT!
Me: Man I like this. Mother and daughter's relationshippa. I don't know who worst, boys or girls. Boys, you a' deal with them when they are little until their graduation; girls, they just get a' worst when age increases. From my perspective, it's equally balanced. Only freedom is granted when them little bastard-brats packed their stuff and shove off in their quest called life...Daisy don't need children.
Camera ends various horrendous bawls and scolding; then shuts off