Chapter 1
Back in Minnesota
Outfit: malina_moving_in/set?id=84235662&lid=2600104
*****Malina Müller's POV*******
I left home today. I left Kiel today. I left everything behind today. My friends. My home. The places I know. The people I love. Everything. I flew from Hamburg at 02:20 p.m. and had a stop in London then I flew from London to Los Angeles and then finally I arrived in Minneapolis at 06:23 a.m.
I am tired. I am nervous.
I am looking out of the glass windows in the airport, watching the raindrops chasing each other down the glass. Dee and I used to, when ever we were driving, bet on the raindrops on the car window. Les and I did too, well eight years ago. It has been eight years since I last saw him, any of them, in person.
Eight years.
96 months.
416 weeks.
2920 days.
I miss them I miss them so much, but I'm scared. What if things don't go back to the way they used to be? What if they replaced me?
I can't wait to meet all of my old friends, but I am so scared of what they might think of me now. I'm not the same as I was before and I hope they understand.
I'm scared. I missed them, I really did, but I couldn't visit because it was too expensive. My mom didn't earn that much money and she had Dee and I to take care of.
I'm scared, so scared to find that they forgot about me. Especially Connie and Guy, they were my best friends when I lived here. I really hope they still remember me, but the doubt is still eating me up from the inside and making me a nervous wreck.
Aunt Hannah told me that her, Les and some of his friends are picking me up. I wonder whom he'll bring, maybe Connie and Guy that would be nice.
I can't wait to see Connie again. I wonder if she has changed as much as I have?
I step out of the airport, to where Hannah told me they were going to be. The butterflies in my stomach erupt once again as I realize how close I am to meeting my cousin and aunt again. Les. Out of everyone, I missed him the most. He was my absolute best friend; I was closer to him than to anyone else. So what scares me the most is that maybe we can't be that close again. I have been standing in my own thoughts for a while, when out of the blue I am engulfed in a hug.
I recognize the person immediately even though I haven't seen him for years; Les. The familiar feel of his arms around me and his scent embracing me, makes me feel more at home than I have been for years. I put my arms around him and bury my face at the crook of his neck.
As we stand there he whispers softly ''I've missed you so much Lina'' I move my head to look him in the eyes ''I've missed you too Les; I've missed you so much'' I whisper back. I don't know how long Les and I stood there, hugging.
''Malina'' a soft voice said and as I reluctantly let go of Les, only to throw myself into another hug ''Tante Hannah'' I whisper to my aunt as I enjoy the warmth of her.
''Remember I told you Les would bring some friends?'' my aunt asks. I just nod, I want to meet them, but I'm really nervous about it too 'cause they've now each other for a while, probably, and I've been gone for eight years. I wonder if Les ever told them about my letters, I hope not. ''They are waiting in the car'' Hannah said with a nod towards their blue car. ''Who is it?'' I ask in a whisper, I guess my nervousness got to my voice ''It's not Connie or Guy'' she said, putting a hand on my shoulder, she must've known how much I've missed those two too and my hopes to see them again fast ''It's Charlie and Adam'' I frown at the unfamiliar name. I know who Charlie is, but Adam? I've never heard of him.
''Who's Adam?'' I ask turning to face Les. ''He's a new player on our hockey team, don't worry you'll like him'' Les assures me and puts an arm around my shoulder ''Let's go'' he says and pulls me towards the car. I put my bag in the baggage room of the car and walk towards one of the car doors. I look at Les who just nods at me motioning for me to get in. I'm a bit nervous because I have to sit in the back, with Charlie and Adam. ''Can't you sit in the back?'' I ask Les over the car roof. He just shakes his head, gives me a smile and jumps in the seat next to his mother.
I open the door a bit hesitant and get in. I look at the two boys sitting next to me, I didn't recognize neither even though I know one of them is Charlie ''Hi I'm Charlie and this is Adam'' ''Hi I'm Malina, but please call me Lina and NEVER Mal'' I said introducing my self, I know it may sound a bit harsh, but I can't let them call me Mal, I can't. I look at Charlie, realizing that he hasn't changed that much since the last time I saw him. Adam and Charlie actually look quite alike. Their blond hair, Charlie's a bit more untamed than Adam's. With their blue eyes that feel as if they see everything, see right through you.
''So Malina'' Charlie started ''Lina'' I correct him automatically. ''Okay, Lina, do you play hockey?'' Charlie asked and I almost laughed, I mean me playing hockey? I can't even skate. ''No I don't, but you two do right?'' I attempt to keep the conversation going, but I am so tired that I might just fall asleep midsentence. ''Yeah'' Adam said looking at me and I have to stifle a yawn because I am so tired.
''Bist du müde?'' Hannah asks from the front seat ''Ja nah klar, Ich habe den ganzen Nacht geflogen'' I say as I rest my head on the car window ''Du kannst doch schlafen, wir haben noch 33 Minuten ins Auto'' Hannah says and I feel relieved. 33 minutes to sleep in that will work. The last thing I hear before dozing off is Charlie saying ''am I the only one who didn't understand a single word of that?''
Adam and Les' laughter echo in my ears, creating a soft lullaby for me and my eyes close softly.
*****************Lester Averman's POV*******************************************
So today's the day were we are going to pick up Lina at the airport. Mom gave me permission to bring two friends, so that when Lina will meet the entire team she'll know three people. I wanted to bring Connie and Guy, but they both left to go on vacation, they are going to be back a few hours after Lina arrives. So I asked Charlie and Adam if they wanted to come, I didn't tell them why Lina had to stay with us; it isn't for me to tell. Of course they asked, come on it's Charlie and Adam, but I told them she had to tell them and then we didn't talk more about that. Charlie remembers her a bit form when we were six, but that's eight years ago and Adam never met her. Neither Connie nor Guy knows that she'll be here when they get home.
I'm a bit worried. What if she has changed too much? What if she isn't my Lina anymore? What if she doesn't remember any of the Ducks? What if we don't have anything in common anymore? What if s he hates one of the Ducks? Or all of us? I could go on and on with these what ifs all day, but we have to go now to pick her up at St. Paul airport.
''Hey Charlie Hey Adam'' I greet the two boys standing outside our door waiting for my mom and I. ''Hey Averman'' Charlie says looking away from Adam and the conversation the two of them were having, Adam who seems to divert his gaze from Charlie and realizing where he is once again asks ''Where are we going to pick her up?'' haven't I told them anything? I guess not or else Adam wouldn't have asked ''St. Paul'' I don't know why I didn't say anything else, but I guess I didn't need to ''Let's go boys'' my mom calls from the car. The three of us walk towards our old, blue car.
I think about the things we did, Lina and I, when we were kids, the happy things and the sad ones:
''Come on Les'' 5-year old Lina screams in her little voice ''I want to swing higher'' she looks at me as I push her on the swing. I think she is up high enough, but I still keep pushing the swing. Suddenly Lina falls of the swing. I run on my little legs over to her ''Lina are you okay?'' I ask her. I can't see her face, but she turns to lay on her back. Laughing. ''That was fun'' she says and gets up. She runs away from me still laughing ''come on Les, catch me'' she looks over her shoulder while she yells and I take off after her. Laughing too. Our laughter tangle together in the wind, creating a beautiful, fleeting melody on the playground.
''Les Les Les'' the 6-year old Lina screams in my ear, while she wakes me up. ''What is it Lina?'' I ask her, curious as to what could be so important. ''I'm going to be a big sister'' she gives me a big toothless grin as she finishes the sentence. ''Really?'' Lina nods very enthusiastic ''that is so cool'' I was easy to impress when I was six. We run hand in hand down the stairs. Smiling equally wide. ''Mommy mommy tell Les about the baby'' Lina begs her mother and her mothers laugh at the both of us.
''I'm leaving tomorrow Les'' Lina was crying and I was close to tears. ''Lina, just remember it's not goodbye'' I tried to comfort her I really did ''I will see you again. I promise'' I hugged her even though I was only six my heart clenched at the sight of her crying. I felt like it was my responsibility to protect her and every tear she cried was only a sign that I had failed.
''We'll get our moms to write letters for us, right? And we'll call sometimes, right?'' I asked her, trying to secure her that it wasn't goodbye.
''I promise'' she whispered and hugged me tighter.
Monday 31st of June, 13 years old
Dear Les
It's horrible.
I don't like it anymore.
I can't do it anymore.
I'm thinking of giving up you know? Just letting everything go, but I can't can I?
You would hate me, I would disgust you, you wouldn't forgive me and knowing this hurts more than living in this pain.
I'm never good enough am I?
At least that's what they say. They tell me everyday.
Do you know how it feels to wake up every morning knowing that nobody wants you?
They even told me that you wouldn't even be my friends anymore, but I didn't want to believe them, but it's all true.
It's true isn't it?
I mean I'm fat and I'm not even pretty, my grades are great, apparently to good. Did you know that if you get good grades a lot, they tear you down?
I'm just the American freak, with the weird accent.
The only place I'm good is on the handball field, but they don't care.
It doesn't matter. Sports don't matter to them. All that matters is looks and grades (but they can't be to good).
I know you will be able to understand me. Handball is everything to me, just like hockey is everything to you.
I miss you.
I miss my best friend. I miss that one who understands, knows what I'm thinking before I say something. I miss my 'twin'. That person has always been you! Now I'm here alone, without you and it scares me.
I hope that we can move back to Minnesota soon, I miss you guys so much and I know my mom misses you too.
Now that I have told you how much life sucks, how about yours?
How is your hockey career coming a long?
I miss you Les, talk to you soon okay?
Love from
Your cousin Lina
The letter is a year old, but the words, I still remember. I never showed the letter to anyone. I was scared. Scared that they would take her away. Taken her away from Deidre and her mother.
I must have been lost in my thoughts, because the next thing I know is that my mom is shaking me ''we're here Les'' she says as she does so ''she's right there'' my mother points at a dark haired girl.
The girl is very skinny, too skinny. It doesn't look like Lina. Last time I saw her she had brown/red hair and she wasn't that skinny. She's only wearing black clothes and her hair is just hanging down her back.
Before I think that much about it I run to her and trap her in my arms. We just stand there. Hugging. I can feel her relax into my arms, burying her head in the crook of my neck ''I've missed you so much Lina'' I whisper, she moves her head to look me in the eyes. Her eyes are still the same. The same brown eyes she had the last time I saw her. ''I've missed you too Les; I've missed you so much'' she whispers back and we go back to just hugging. We stood there for a while, just hugging. Until my mother interrupted ''Malina'' she says softly and I can feel Lina letting go of me, reluctantly. After she lets go of me she throws herself into the arms of my mom. I can see that they are talking about something. Probably about Adam and Charlie.
''Who's Adam?'' Lina suddenly turns to me in confusion, probably because she has never heard of Adam before.
''He's a new player on our hockey team, don't worry you'll like him'' I assure her and put an arm around her shoulder ''Let's go'' I say and pull her towards the car. She puts her bag in the baggage room of the car and walks towards one of the car doors. She looks at me and I nod at her motioning for her to get in. ''Can't you sit in the back?'' she asks me over the car roof. I just shake my head, give her a smile and jump in the seat next to my mother.
She opens the door a bit hesitant and gets in. ''Hi I'm Charlie and this is Adam'' Charlie introduces him and Adam ''Hi I'm Malina, but please call me Lina and NEVER Mal'' she says introducing her self. ''So Malina'' Charlie started ''Lina'' she corrects him automatically. ''Okay, Lina, do you play hockey?'' Charlie asks and I listen closely, because I don't know and I wonder if she does. I don't know why, but I feel as if it is important, I guess it would mean that we have something to talk about.
''No I don't.'' Her answer rings in my ears. Are we really that different from each other?
I feel a bit sad to find out that she doesn't share the love for hockey with me. The conversation ends there, I can feel that she isn't in the mood for talking. I can see she has to stifle a yawn.
''Bist du müde?'' my mom asks from the front seat ''Ja nah klar, Ich habe den ganzen Nacht geflogen'' Lina answers as she rests her head on the car window. Adam, Charlie and I exchange looks of confusion. ''Du kannst doch schlafen, wir haben noch 33 Minuten ins Auto'' my mom says and Malina falls asleep almost immediately. ''Am I the only one who didn't understand a single word of that?'' Charlie says and we burst out laughing. Of course neither Adam nor I understood anything, but that Charlie actually said it out loud?
''Mom what were you talking about?'' I ask trying to find out what their conversation ''Do you really want to know?'' my mom says teasingly trying to make it sound as if they were saying something bad about us. ''Come on just tell us mom'' I plead looking at Charlie and Adam, who look like they're just as curios as me. ''I just told her to go to sleep'' my mom laughs at us. Adam, Charlie and I draw in a breath in relief. ''You can sleep too if you want'' my mom adds.
Less than three seconds later we are a sleep.
*******************************33 Minutes Later*******************************************
''Les'' someone is shaking me awake ''Come on you can sleep inside'' I open my eyes to see my mother standing in the car door ''Where's Lina, Adam and Charlie?'' I ask sleepily looking around in the now empty car ''Your dad carried Malina inside and I woke up Charlie and Adam, they are sleeping on your floor'' I nod and begin to slowly, very slowly walk inside towards my room. I see Charlie and Adam sleeping and I fall into my bed, completely asleep.