Gamzee and I look up into the trees as we sit in a small clearing near the forest. He looks over at me and smiles. It's pretty cold out, thank god Gamzee had a sweater to give me or I might've gotten sick. There's something about Gamzee that's different that I really like. I don't even know how to explain it, because its new to me. I don't know what I'd do without him, he's my best friend.
"Gamzee, I uh, don't know where I'd be without you." I say.
"Awww, Tavros. I feel the same motherf***ing way." He lays down but props up his torso on his forearms. He sighs, and continues to look at the sky.
"Brother," He starts again, "Motherf***ing miracles brought us together. But you know I'm going to be leaving again soon. And motherf***ing traveling, far away. Tav, I don't wanna leave you again. I don't wanna motherf***ing leave you. You're the only friend I got, I love you brother." He starts to cry and turns toward me. He lifts up his hand and starts wiping his face.
"Gamzee you're gonna-" I start, but he pulls me into a really tight hug and starts bawling all over again.
He sniffles and looks at me with one arm wrapped around my waist and the other around my neck.
"Tavros, sometimes I just wanna kill myself. Just motherf***ing put a knife in my chest. I get so lonely and sad. And then my old man yells at me for moping around. Then I get a text or letter from you and I'm happy again, but then it reminds me you aren't motherf***ing here. You're out with your other friends and having fun without me. You go to school, brother I miss most of school for this motherf***ing carnival. I hate it."
He puts his head on my shoulder and I feel his shoulders and stomach move in and out, up and down as his breath stutters. I'm worried for him that he wants to harm himself and I'm upset that he is getting so worked up like this.
I put my hand on the back of his head, "Gamzee, uh, I would never leave you. You're scaring me though, don't ever try to harm yourself. You're never going to be alone as long as you have me. And you always have me." He lifts his head again and looks at me, he's so close. I feel his slow breathe warm on my cheeks. His arms are still draped around my shoulders and waist. We were still sitting in the clearing, the look on his face changed and his eyes softened suddenly he didn't look so sad. Although I couldn't read the look on his face.
"Life is beautiful, friendship is beautiful. True love is beautiful and it's full of motherf***ing miracles. Tavros I said I love you. I meant it." Gamzee said. I stared at him blankly, then I realized what he meant. He leaned a little closer, now his forehead was touching mine and our noses are touching too. My eyes widen a bit, my best friend is in love with me? My best friend is in love with me, is...is that what I felt. Feeling like something is different with him, because it is.
Gamzee tilts his head a little so his lower lip is touching my upper lip, but he doesn't do anything he just stays there. His eyes relax a little and his muscles once tense are relaxed too. I try to hold back a breath, then Gamzee kissed me and the breath was let out.
"Gamzee, mmn, st- stop it." I say in between the gentle movements. Okay, honestly I didn't want him to stop. But I'm kind of embarrassed and my cheeks feel really hot. I take the hand that was on the back of his head and twirl his hair through my fingers.
"Come on, just one motherf***er." He laughs as he pulls away.
"Fine, one. Just one Gamzee." I say. He kisses me one more time but we topple over onto the grass, in between breaths I hear him laughing.
When he pulls away he looks at me, "Tavros, brother. You are so motherf***ing cute." He kisses me on the cheek and stands up, he reaches out his hand for me to take it. I do and I get up. I look him in the eyes and smile.
Wow, I'm in love with my best friend.