It didn't take them long to find the materials their plain required; a couple of trips to the kitchen, one very brief excursion out into the cold morning air to gather ingredients, and they had everything lain out in front of them on the floor of their shared room.

Then it was just a matter of waiting for Mummy to leave.

As luck would have it, they did not have to wait long. Dís headed out early for a few hours, to visit a friend across town who'd taken ill. She poked her head into their room before she left, sighing when they yelped and shuffled to hide the components of their master plan from her.

"Whatever it is you're planning, just try to refrain from severely injuring yourselves before I get back, alright?"

They nodded emphatically and smiled their most winning smiles.

Dís narrowed her eyes, her mouth turning up at the corners ever so slightly as she added, "And take good care of Uncle Thorin."

"Oh, we will!" Fili said earnestly.

Kili grinned his support, cheeks dimpling and dark eyes bright with what Dís hoped was sincerity.

They saw her to the door and kissed her goodbye, waving at her retreating back till she disappeared round the street corner. Then, as soon as she was well and truly gone, they turned and ran back to their room as fast as they could, almost tripping over each other in the process. They scooped up the materials they'd gathered and tiptoed down the hall to Thorin's room.

They stopped outside the door, listening intently for any movement from within. "What if he's still asleep?" whispered Kili.

"We'll just wait till he wakes up," Fili replied. He placed a hand on the doorknob and turned it, freezing as the handle squeaked loudly. After a moment's tense silence he pushed the door open and stuck his head into the room.

Kili craned his neck to peek in after him. "What is it? Is he awake?"

"He's asleep," Fili said, disappointed.

"Aww, no. Are you sure?"

"Pretty sure."

Kili squeezed his way in past his older brother. Thorin was barely distinguishable under a veritable mountain of quilts and blankets, snoring away softly to himself, one arm tucked under the pillow.

"How long d'ya think he'll sleep for?" Kili asked.

"Dunno."

They both paused, staring at their sleeping uncle and feeling very thwarted.

"Do we wait here or–"

"Mahal, whatever it is you're waiting for, I hope it happens soon," Thorin grumbled.

Fili and Kili jumped guiltily. Thorin was scowling at them from behind a curtain of black hair, his eyes squinted against the morning light streaming in through the shutters.

"Sorry, Uncle," Fili said, scuffing his feet against the floorboards. "We didn't mean to wake you."

"Well, I'm awake now," sighed Thorin, propping himself up on one elbow with a slight wince. "What do you need, boys?"

"Well, we sort of thought we mi–"

"We're gonna make you better!" Kili interrupted, beaming, holding up a roll of bandages in either hand.

Thorin groaned and slumped face-first into the pillow again. "Is this the kind of rest your mother had in mind when she asked me to stay?"

"Mama's gone out," Fili explained. "We're going to look after you until she gets back."

"When does she get back?" Thorin asked, sounding a bit desperate.

"Not sure. A few hours, maybe."

Thorin was silent for a few moments, evidently thinking through his options. But eventually he sighed, and rolled over and sat up, blinking at them blearily through his sleep-mussed hair. "What did you have in mind?"

The grin that Fili and Kili gave him was hardly confidence-inspiring.

"This really isn't necessary, Fili. Your mother saw to my bandages already."

"Yes, but just in case," Fili said, wrapping another layer of clean bandage around Thorin's bicep, where one of the trolls had got in a lucky blow and split the skin. "We don't want it to get infected."

Thorin opened his mouth to protest, and immediately shut it. He didn't want to ruin his nephews' fun, not when this was the first they'd spent any length of time with him in more than a year. He knew he was not the uncle he should have been; he was terrible at thinking up things to do with them, so he left it up to the boys to invent the games. If they wanted to play something, he'd usually go along with it, which opened his eyes considerably to the wonders of a child's brain. (Bofur was a million times better at dealing with his nephews than he was.) Half the games that Fili and Kili came up with he could never have imagined in his wildest dreams.

Playing doctors was not one of these. He and Dís and Frerin had often run around bandaging each other's feet, putting their arms in slings and pretending to be medical experts. Fili and Kili has simply taken it a step further, dealing with an actually injured patient (whom, of course, Thorin had the luck to be).

He turned his attention to the younger of the brothers, who was doing a marvellous job of bandaging Thorin's perfectly undamaged wrist.

"Kili, I'm not injured there," Thorin said gently.

The little dwarfling hummed happily to himself and ignored his uncle.

Suddenly Fili gasped, going quite pale and dropping the bandages.

Thorin looked up in alarm. "What's wrong?"

"We forgot to check your heartbeat!" he cried. He quickly scrambled into Thorin's lap and put one ear to his chest. Soon he pulled away, smiling again. "It's alright, it's still beating."

"I hardly think–"

Kili shushed him and moved across to Thorin's other side, to see to his other undamaged wrist. "We're try'na fix you, Uncle Thorin," he explained slowly, as if to a child. "Just hush and let us work."

So Thorin hushed and let them work for the next hour or so. They clambered around on the bed, feeling his forehead for a temperature and checking in his mouth to make sure he hadn't lost any teeth and asking him how many fingers they were holding up. They made him eat "special medicine food" (a sandwich) and rubbed grass on his hands (utilising their special healing qualities), and wanted to know if he was feeling woozy.

"No, just bored," he muttered to himself.

Eventually his nephews made their way to sit on the bed behind him and inspect his head for any wounds that Dís had missed. Thorin, fairly sullen at this point, tolerated it, until he felt little hands tugging on his hair in a very familiar fashion.

"Are you braiding my hair?" he demanded, half turning around.

"It'll help make you feel better!" Kili said hopefully.

"I seriously hope you boys don't plan on doing this for much longer," Thorin growled. "Uncle Thorin would like to rest, and–"

As he spoke, Fili had moved his hands down to Thorin's shoulders and found the tense place in his back.

"What…are you doing?" Thorin asked, all the anger draining from his voice.

"Mama always gives us a massage when were sick," Fili told him. "It makes us feel better."

"Well," Thorin said, his eyes starting to flutter close, "that's just…really…that's just great."

Fili sat back. "If you're tired, Uncle, we can stop now. We'll go play in the kitchen or something and let you re–"

"No!"

His nephews started.

Thorin twisted to look at them over his shoulder. "You can do whatever you want, boys. Keep playing for however long you like."

Slow smiles lit up Fili and Kili's faces as they realised their uncle was serious. "Really?" Kili asked excitedly.

Thorin paused. "As long as I get another massage."

And so it was that when Dís came home an hour later, she found Thorin fast asleep on his stomach, his hair braided and every inch of his arms bandaged, with Fili and Kili sitting on either side of him and taking it in turns to massage his shoulders.

They grinned up at her as she entered. "Look, Mama, we fixed Uncle!" Kili hissed.

It was only with a great effort that Dís managed to keep from bursting out laughing. "You can stop now, my loves. I think Uncle Thorin has had quite enough pampering for today," she said dryly.

Thorin cracked one eye open and looked at her mournfully. "One more minute?" he pleaded.

Dís couldn't help but laugh at that. "The first time I hear you beg for something in over ten years, and it's for a massage," she chuckled. "Be Aulë, I'll not be letting you forget this any time soon, Thorin Oakenshield."

The heir to the Lonely Mountain growled and threw a pillow at her.