Author Notes: And here we are loves! The moment we've all been waiting for – our lovely characters finally consummating their love. BIG thanks to all those who've reviewed, I smile while reading everyone and am so humbled that there are people who actually read what I write.

SUPER MEGA HUGE thanks to Camoozle for holding my hand on this one. Couldn't of done it without you bb! You guys should check her out she's amazing! www(dot)fanfiction(dot) net/u/1918869/camoozle

Adele inspires once more, if you aren't familiar with her music – I highly suggest you give her a chance, I promise she won't disappoint. Plus you'll be able to understand our characters' much better.

Per usual I do not own, Suzanne Collins done and no copyright infringement intended on my part. Remember this story is rated M for sexual themes and only intended for those of legal age. I did use a part of the original Mockingjay book to tie into the chapter and thus be more believable!

Without further ado…

I don't know why I'm scared, I've been here before
Every feeling, every word – I've imagined it all
You'll never know, if you never try To forgive your past and simply be mine…

- Adele

One and Only

District Twelve will never be the same, instinctively I know this. And yet on days like today when I wake up with Peeta's beautiful form next to me – I nearly deny this fact. He's sleeping quietly, and I turn on my side slowly as not to wake him. He's not the baker's son anymore. He has evolved, matured. No longer the boy who confessed his undying love for me in front of millions at the Capitol...

He is a man and every line in his body is a testament to that. We are both riddled with scars. Many of them superficially – but the ones who've done the most damage are the ones you cannot see.

They are the ones that haunt us, unspeakable horrors we cannot even begin to name. I know what they did to him at the Capitol. Tortured him unmercilessly day after day, trying with every new terror to break him fully. Yet he still held on. I close my eyes and inhale slowly at the thought. I want to kill them, each and every one of them. They deserve something worse than death – and then I remember.

They have been vanquished. They can no longer hurt us. It is we who continue to hurt ourselves when we allow the memory of them to defeat us from within.

A smile plays on my lips. They will not win. Not then, not now, not ever. Peeta is here with me, safely tucked away where no one can ever do him harm. And if anyone ever attempted against our happiness… a chuckle escapes me. I pity arrow would lodge itself so deeply into the recesses of their cerebrum before they could even carry out their deed. We needn't play anyone's games on anything except our own terms.

Peeta begins to stir in his slumber and I can't help myself from leaning over and kissing him softly. This still feels so new and delicate to me. Allowing myself to show affection for him has proven most wonderful.

There are times when I feel guilty for loving him with the ardor that I do, there was a time when I couldn't have him out of my reach for too long. I'd feel sick with grief a feeling only abated with his presence close once more. I cannot continue on without Peeta and he feels exactly the same. I was foolish to even think I could keep away from him and I'm surprised I fought the desire to be with him for so long.

How selfish I was and yet he's forgiven me. For everything. In his embraces and whisperings of love I hear and feel his pardons – and I know he absolves me even for the things I will not allow myself to voice. Like the fact that I feel responsible for the demise of District Twelve, Peeta's family included. I allow him to wash away the sins and anger from my body at night, because living in resent for things I could never have controlled is absurd. He balances me out nicely this way.

We are different; time and circumstance has changed us. Two people damaged beyond repair, and yet the comfort and solace we find in one another is nothing coincidental. We were meant to be one another's anchor in this vast sea of life. Slowly we have started to rebuild ourselves and with it our lives and our beautiful little district. We are braver now than ever before. Every breath we take is its own form of courageousness. Regrets and mistakes, they're memories made.

So yes, District Twelve will never be what it once was. But neither will we. And at the moment, I find no objection to this fact.

...

Peeta and I have an unofficial routine we do almost every night. He cooks me breakfast in the morning, the aromas of breads filling my senses and even brings it up for me when I'm feeling lazy and needy.

He looks up at me with a smile. "What will it be this morning?"

I tap my finger to my chin deep in mock thought. "I just don't know what to pick… Perhaps whatever the cook sees fit?

He laughs, and the sound of it nearly brings me to tears. His smile touches his eyes now – it almost always does.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah as if I haven't heard that one before. And before you go giving me the sad face, yes, I will bring up breakfast for you," he makes sure to pause and sigh theatrically, he kisses my forehead and speaks against my skin, "again…"

After breakfast we talk and lounge for awhile planning what to do with our day. Sometimes we go for runs in the woods, forging new trails out in the wilderness. Other times we fill our book with different drawings of plants or spices we've encountered along the way. Peeta's delicate and stealthy hands ensure that each picture is as close to the real thing as possible, knowing how much it means to me.

At some point during the day Peeta goes back to his house and grabs more clothes. It's become an unspoken thing really, but he has not spent one night away from me after that time I woke up in his arms. That was three months ago. I know his house really isn't his home. One time I asked him about it and he just shrugged.

"Wherever you are is home Katniss. For all I care we could be on the moon and I'd still be content."

I couldn't argue with him. I felt exactly the same way.

When the sky begins to darken and I hear the crickets chirping I go upstairs and shower, leaving Peeta with his easel. It's the only time we really spend apart, and I'm quite thankful for it. It gives me time to meditate on our day and think about him and how much I love him. And it gives me time to reflect on myself, how I'm doing – how I'm feeling. Things have been far from perfect after my arrival from the Capitol and yet it's the imperfection of it all that's brought Peeta and I closer.

Sometimes at night we kiss. It usually begins and ends very chastely, nothing like that time at the games when I finally felt something different for him. The time we were in the cave. But there is something different in the air tonight. As soon as his lips find mine I feel a hunger there, one that hasn't been present in such a long time I'm having trouble remembering if it really existed or if my mind had created such a delicious delusion. Because truly it does it no justice.

Peeta lays me softly and drapes himself over me carefully, supporting my neck with his strong and gentle hands. This is when I feel him. He is firm and exquisite and my head begins to swim with all the sensations. Is this how I make him feel? He is like this for me?

Much too soon we are panting and I can see the struggle in Peeta's face. His fullness is paining him and as always he is being such a gentleman about it. I feel him slowing our kisses down, his tongue mingling with mine ever so softly.

I claw at his shoulders. "Please don't stop", I beg in a breathy whisper.

He puts his forehead to mine and groans.

"You have no idea how you make me feel…" he pauses to catch his breath, "I love you more than life itself. You were the only thing keeping me alive. I'd think of your smile or your arrogant pouts. The way your hair would blow in the wind…" he makes sure to look at me as he says the last word.

I have no words at my disposal to reply. Everything falls much too short.

It's not as if I've never considered the fact that eventually we'd consummate our love for one another. In fact I've found myself fantasizing about it quite often. Now that the moment has crept up on me I'm nervous …but oddly at peace. We are ready to take our love for one another to the next level.

I look up at him with all the adoration and love I feel for him. I don't trust my voice so I start off speaking slowly and low.

"I want you. There is nothing in this universe I could want more."'

I pause giving him time to comprehend my words. He leans down closer to me and I whisper in his ear boldly.

"I want you inside me."

He shudders at my admission and a low growl escapes him. He twines his hands with mine and begins to kiss me once more. On my lips, down my neck. Painfully slow over the swell of my breasts. This is uncharted territory for us both and yet he knows my body better than even I do.

He begins to pull the string of my nightgown off my shoulder and kisses the spot it once held.

Kiss.

"Are"

Kiss.

"You"

Kiss.

"Sure?"

My heart beats wildly in my chest and I lose myself in the sensations. Only Peeta could ever make me feel this way, awaken that long lost feeling within me.

He looks down at me so lovingly.

"Katniss Everdeen. I love you with every cell in my body." He enunciates every syllable. "Nothing would bring me more joy than to make love to you the way you deserve. I want to make you mine and I want you to make me yours."

I smile at him. "I want that too".

He kisses me tenderly. First on my forehead then on both cheeks, before reaching my lips and lingering there.

"You know that it may", he pauses to choose the appropriate word, his lips moving to my neck, "Be uncomfortable for you the first time?"

I nod in acquiescence.

"I will be gentle with you, I swear it", he says as he tucks a flyaway strand of hair behind my ear.

I nod once more. "I love you so much Peeta."

He answers in the form of a breathtaking kiss, one that mingles both our tongues in the most sensuous of dances. His hand removes the string of my nightgown completely off my shoulder, exposing my breast there. His eyes hold a question and before I can mouth the answer he lures my breast into his mouth slowly.

I moan at the contact, internally cringing at the way my voice sounds but not minding too much as he continues his ministrations on my other breast.

Softly he blows on both nipples. "So beautiful" he murmurs – more to himself than me. I am at a complete loss for words.

He slowly travels down my abdomen pushing the nightgown lower with him. He leaves trails of sweet kisses along the way and my back instinctively arches at the delicate and warm contact.

There is no one else who could ever make me feel this way

Soon he reaches my most intimate of parts and looks up at me. I lift up slowly and he begins to pull my panties off.

I know I should feel exposed, embarrassed even – but when I look at Peeta and see his eyes full of adoration I can't help but feel exhilarated. His eyes hungrily rake me in and I feel myself growing damp with every pass of his glance.

"You are exquisite" he says. And I know he means it.

Slowly he finds my most sensitive of places. He dips his fingers lightly and finds wetness

The breath I didn't know I was holding leaves my body and I lift myself towards his touch. My body is on fire. I am engulfed by the love I feel and the way his touch reveres my body. Never did I imagine I could feel this way. That he could make me feel this way.

"So ready for me my love?"

I gulp and nod quickly.

Peeta's hands are so deft and gentle that I find myself turning into his touch to increase the friction. Hands strong enough to knead heavy dough, yet soft enough to pipe beautiful designs on cakes. With every pass of his fingers I feel a coil deep within my slowly winding itself, a feeling that I've never felt before.

I don't notice how loud my moans have become until Peeta's mouth finds my ear, "Will you wake the neighbors with your moans?" he sensuously growls at me, never ceasing his movements below.

I somehow find my voice. "Peeta, I, I don't stop…please, oh please…"

And then it happens. The coil bursts faster than I can understand and I'm sure I've awoken Haymitch now. I see specks of color behind my eyelids and it all makes sense. Peeta, me, our lives together. I feel myself arching into his touch as my wave subsides and he's holding me and shushing me, calming me with his touch.

"Shh", he whispers. My panting subsides, but only by a fraction.

When I finally open my eyes, I find him smiling at me sheepishly. Looking radiant and beautiful. I look up at him a bit embarrassed by my reaction but he just chuckles quietly.

"And that" he breathes quietly "is how we begin our forever."

I fall into the most peaceful slumber.

When I wake it's still dark out so I figure I couldn't have been sleeping for very long. Peeta is awake and playing with my hair.

"Hey" I say quietly.

He kisses me lovingly and I sigh into his touch. I want to make Peeta feel the way he made me feel. My whole body is trembling with desperation. I'm not sure where to start and my nerves are threatening to take over. These sensations are all so new. I take a deep breath and steel myself. You can do this, just show him how much you love him.

I want to kiss every part of him. This will prove to be extensive I'm sure, but not impossible.

I slowly bring my fingers to his face and trace the lines there. He turns into my touch and kisses my palm, murmuring his love. My fingers find their way to his hair as I lower my lips to his. He wraps his arms around me while I sit on his lap. In the dark I see his piercing blue eyes dancing alight.

I continue to deepen our kisses and I grind my hips against his, desperate for friction. Soon I feel him firm beneath me. I kiss down his torso, feeling the defined muscles under my touch as I inch lower to the source of my undoing. I reach tentatively into his pants and free him from his confines.

I gasp slightly. He is beautiful, every part of him – even this. I idly wonder how something of that capacity could fit into…but I let the thought trail and focus on him once more.

I take him into my hand and hear Peeta suck in a breath.

"Am I squeezing too hard? I'm sorry-", I begin to loosen my grip on him but he stops my hands from doing so.

"No you're doing it much too well. I might not last long", he says through clenched teeth. I continue to move my hand up and down over him – faster and stronger. I notice that the tip has some liquid and I dab my finger on it and bring it to my lips.

"It's sweet", I say in the darkness – more to myself than to him.

As I continue my movements Peeta becomes more and more vocal. Moaning and speaking unintelligible words. My heart swells in the knowledge that I am finally bringing Peeta pleasure and I become bolder – reaching down and licking the bead of liquid that has gathered again.

His eyes fly open and meet mine. I take more of him into my mouth, slowly, feeling the muscles in his abdomen clench and unclench with each pass of my tongue. Boldly I add my hand movements and synch them with my mouth.

"Katniss please" he pants, "I don't want to come like this" I look at him with confusion and he amends, "I was hoping I could come inside of you."

Oh. Inside of me?

I nod.

"He hovers over me and I feel him at my slick entrance.

"Relax. Gentle, remember?"

Slowly he pushes inside and I feel him stretching me. It hurts and burns, almost a pleasurable sting. Compared to the pain I've felt in the arena this is like a cool balm to a wound. Even so I have to push the painful images of the games from my head. I focus on Peeta's breathing to calm me.

The sensations of pleasure are so strong I nearly faint. He retreats and pushes in swiftly. I grasp his shoulders tightly and cry out, my pain mingled with pleasure.

"Sh, it's okay." He wipes the sheen of sweat on my brow, kissing me. He withdraws a little and I feel the pain ebbing. He withdraws completely and I'm suddenly empty.

It's not long when he's filling me once more, slowly – gently. With each thrust his lips find my skin. Words of love and hope imprinted into my soul. I moan at the contact and can barely keep my eyes open.

I feel him struggle to keep an even pace, to continue slowly. My lips find his and our tongues dance together.

"You are so beautiful. To be with you like this, to love you this way", he whispers to my ear nibbling the flesh there.

Words will never be enough to express the love I have for him. A love that knows no boundaries or confines.

I feel the coil building within me once more. By the sounds of Peeta's breathing I can tell that he's close. He places his fingers where we connect, and I don't know what to do or say. I am confused unable to comprehend how he is doing this.

I can only feel. Feel his weight above me, his uneven breaths and tender kisses. Our breathy moans as they fill the air.

He brings me to the peak and I plummet into bliss. Air is no longer needed to exist, he is now the source of my survival. My body contracts of its own accord and I cannot control the whimper that leaves my lips as fireworks explode behind my eyelids.

Peeta's eyes are closed and his mouth is clenched into a tight line. He thrusts into me slowly and I feel his warmth fill me – engulfing me in its entirety. My body throbs and aches and as he moves to remove himself I stop him.

"Please, not yet." I manage to say.

I cannot control the flow of emotions as tears leave my eyes. This has all been so much. I have never felt more loved and safe than in this moment. In the arena, I was my own protector. I had no one else to rely on for my survival. Maybe this is why I fought so hard against Peeta. Here, in our room, I have him to protect me and he has me. Separately we simply exist, but together we live.

He smoothes away the hair from my face and nuzzles his face into my neck. I feel droplets running down my skin and I know he understands exactly how I am feeling. But different still. I wasn't the one who had false memories implanted. I run my hands up and down his back and bring his teary face into my hands.

"I love you, real or not real?" I ask.

I never got to hear the answer that night, his lips did all the talking.

I, am Katniss Everdeen.

I was once so afraid of the future and what it could bring. Everything was a variable, nothing was a constant. Though the Capitol tried with all its might to separate me from those I loved – I have emerged a Victor. We have emerged Victors.

There was a time when I couldn't even fathom the thought of having a family for fear they would be taken from me and offered as tributes, or worse.

I am not perfect and I don't try to be. Some days are harder than others for both of us. Peeta still struggles with tampered memories and often patience has proven to be my strongest ally. With love and care I explain things to him, regularly giving him the most inane details to piece together recollections. I was once compared to a Mockingjay. While I lived so did the rebellion.

But what happens when your wings get cut? For a long time I couldn't fly, I was stranded in my own world of pain and regret. Somewhere along the way Peeta found me and mended my broken wings. From the embers Still I Rise.

No longer the girl on fire, I am something more. We are something more.

As I look down at my rounded belly I no longer fear for the games that once dominated our lives. We now play our game – for hours – until he's satisfied with all that I've told him. On occasion Haymitch helps too. Peeta lies awake at night reading to our child, I laugh at the funny expressions he makes as he characterizes. He laughs too and his smile always reaches his eyes.

There are times yes, when I think of the future, and imagine my children who don't know they play on a graveyard. Peeta says it will be okay. We have each other. And the book. We can make them understand in a way that will make them braver. But one day I'll have to explain about my nightmares. Why they came. Why they won't ever really go away.

I'll tell them how I survive it. I'll tell them that on bad mornings, it feels impossible to take pleasure in anything because I'm afraid it could be taken away. That's when I make a list in my head of every act of goodness I've seen someone do. It's like a game. Repetitive. Even a little tedious after so many years.

But we all know there are worse games to play.

End Notes:

And there you have it! I honestly did not think I could get through this. So much emotion while writing it. Sometimes it gets a little difficult to disassociate my feeling from Katniss' feelings when I'm writing her. I bow to Suzanne Collins! Seriously how amazing is she for creating these characters?

In other news, not sure If I'll leave it here or do one more chap.

Leave me a review and tell me what you think!

xoxo