AN: Thank you for the review and checking out my story. Here you guys go Chapter 1 for you. I hope you Enjoy!
Disclaimers I don't own Vampire Academy or the characters, Richelle Mead does.
Chapter 1
It rains, and rains.
I wait, and wait.
I suffer, from the pain.
The heartache is too much.
Lost, trust in love.
Why is it you make me feel,
Like, I am not myself?
Like, I am floating in this world without you?
Like, I can't breath without you?
I am too tired, too tired.
I love, and love.
I suffer, and suffer.
I die, and die.
How can you do this?
Take away everything from me leaving me with faded memories.
Love me like there is nothing else to love and then leave me.
I can't do this, can't do this.
I can't heal, can't heal.
I can't forget, can't forget.
I want you here, taking this pain away.
I want to burn in this agony, with you.
I want to fly high, with you.
I want to feel love again, with you.
I can't hold on, can't hold on.
I can't wait, can't wait.
I can't live, can't live without you.
I want your lips, on mine.
I want your hands, allover me.
I want you to hold me, again like before.
I want to forget myself, like before.
As I read this I feel the pain coming back. How could I do this to him? I still love him more than anything.
I want to forget what happened, but I can't. He is not here but makes me crazy. I see his ghost appear, with a dazzling smile on his face that makes me want to die.
He is not mine, not anymore, but I still see myself falling in for his eyes. I hurt him, now he is hurting me.
I see him everyday with her and it rips my heart out. I want him to burn everything and just hold me in his arms.
I have been in pain for the past two years and it pains me, more now. I didn't want to leave, but my duty called me.
I promised I wouldn't leave and yet I did. Everyday seeing him taunts me and tell me of how horrible person I am, just like my mom. I chose duty over love.
I didn't want to, but I owed my best friend my life. She brought me back to life with a bond and I had to be there for her.
I want run again, but with him. I want him to tell me, he still loves me. I don't want to do this. I can't do this.
I was reading the poem over and over again, sitting in our cabin. Yes our cabin. Everything in here reminded me of him. I came here to get peace and this is the only place I get it.
I found his journal on the bed, where sheets were a mess. He cleaned it up. He came and lived here, just to be close to me.
I am here to run away from him. It hurts and hurts, bad. I find him everywhere. I close my eyes he is there. I open my eyes he is there.
He is everywhere and hunts me for what I did. I knew I was leaving and the night before leaving I gave my self to him in this cabin.
We made love and it was bliss and I want to do it again. Next morning I left him alone wrapped in the sheets with a smile on his face and tears in my eyes.
He was still sleeping and I just left without a word. It hurt me but I did what I had to.
I lost everything for a mistake, for a friend, a friend, who was never a friend. She knew everything, how I felt and feel for him and yet she took him away from me.
I am alone and would be alone. I am a lowly Dhampir and nothing else. They come first. I am tired of everything and I don't see my self-being happy any more. I take his journal with me and walk out to a life I don't belong in.
The morning classes went by a blur. At lunch I sat alone, far from everyone and I saw Christian and our eyes locked. I wanted to break the gaze but I could not look away.
And he didn't either. Lissa came a sat next to him and kissed him. He smirked at me, telling me once again that what I did to him.
I looked down to my food and I have lost my appetite now. I thought Lissa was different, different then other royals but when we returned she put all accusation on me. She said I was the one who forced her to leave the academy with and threaten her if she won't come, she would have to pay for it.
If it weren't for Guardian Belikov, I would have been expelled and would not know where to go. I am stuck with him for extra training and I am on probation.
It doesn't matter that I am on probation. If I were not, I still would have locked my self in my room after classes because there is no one to hang out with.
Everyone looks at me as a blood whore and no one really likes to hang out with me. Mason and Eddie don't talk to me either. I guess I only talk to one person and that is Dimitri Belikov who believe that I have potential and I am not a blood whore.
He is a god. When he fights I feel myself falling for him. He has the sexiest body. I hate his Zen life lessons. The man is way to old. He has brown eyes and long brown hair, which are down to nape of his neck. He has tan skin and is 6'7 tall.
Standing beside him I feel like I am a little bug and he would crush me in minutes. When we first came back to the academy three weeks ago, I hated him but now I don't hate him.
He makes me believe that I am someone to, and have feelings. He does tell me that, they come first and it's like a mantra for me now.
If it weren't for Moroi, us Dhampir probably would be humans and lived happily and didn't have to give our lives for them. Once I wanted to be the best guardian and protect my best friend Lissa and now I don't want to be a guardian.
Lissa just betrayed me when she got the first chance and took the only person away that I loved the most and still love. I wish she never should have brought me back to life. I was brought out of my thoughts from someone.
"Hey can we sit here?" the girl asked. She looked familiar. She had brown eyes and long brown hair and tanned skin and she was around 5'4 tall. She was a Dhampir.
"Sure, I guess." I mumbled and knew she would hear. There were two boys with her who sat down to; both of them were also Dhampir. I have never seen them here before.
"I am Viktoria Belikov," she said and I chocked on my food.
"I am Paul Belikov," on of the boy, said who also had brown eyes like the girl but his hair was lighter then hers. He was probably 6'4 tall.
"And I am Adrian Belikov." he had green eyes and light brown hair like Paul. He was around 6'5 tall and had tan skin.
"I am Rose, Rosemarie Hathaway." I said.
"Of course you are. Why don't you think we are sitting here?" Adrian asked. I just looked at them. They all looked really rich and I can say they probably sat around Moroi so why with me? Their Belikov's, so maybe related to Dimitri and he asked them to sit with me.
"Are you guys related to Guardian Belikov?" I asked them.
"Yes, he is our older brother." Paul replied. Older brother. He never told me that he had siblings.
"Did he ask you guys to sit with me?" I asked them. And they looked at each other.
"Why, can't we sit with a hot girl like you?" Adrian asked with his right eyebrow raised. Damn with all these Russian and there cool eyebrow thing.
"Why are your eyes green, not brown?" I asked.
"Well I guess it comes from my father, see Paul is my twin but we don't look alike at all." Adrian said.
"You guys are twins?" I asked.
"Yes we are." they said in union, all three of them. I looked confused.
"We are triplets." Viktoria replied. I could say that she and Paul looked alike but Adrian looked a little different.
"Ok" I said.
"So your brother asked you guys to sit with and you ditched you Moroi friends for me?" I asked them.
"Well yeah, because none of them are hot, like you." Adrian said and got out a cigarette and lit it.
"Hey you are not spouse to smoke in here and if a guardian caught you, you would v=be in trouble." I said.
"Darling they won't say anything. We get to do what we want to." he replied.
"Yeah like your are Queens grandchildren's." I said with sarcasm.
"Duh we are." He replied and I looked really confused. I think they are playing with me.
"Yeah and I am Queen Elizabeth." I said. And all of them laughed.
"Sweetheart you have a great sense of humor." Paul said.
"Why do you think you didn't get expelled? It was because of Dimitri, he called our grandma and you got to stay." Viktoria replied. I just looked at them.
"Ok so you don't believe us?" Paul asked. And I nodded.
"How about you have dinner with us in the queen quarter tonight and you will meet her." Adrian said.
"Look what ever you guys are playing with me, don't. I don't believe anyone anymore and please leave me alone." I said to then and got up and left to go to my next class.
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