Chapter Seven

A MAN WORTH LOVING

They have arrived to Angélique's house and the three bells of Notre Dame de Paris chimed midnight. The night was cold and a light breeze blew. Angélique looked above to see the starry sky and took a deep breath. Enjolras looked at her and felt astonished by the peaceful expression on her face; an expression he never saw before.

"It's past midnight." she remarked "Today, February the First, is the day of L'Étoile*."

Enjolras did not understand that she meant.

"L'Étoile is the trump of hope and trust… the intuition that everything is in balance. She brings the conscience that the chosen path is the right one and the end of this way will be a good one, for there is a perfect harmony between the emotions of the mind and the impulses of the body… She brings the music of what could be…" she continued in a soft tone.

"What are you talking about?" Enjolras asked with confusion.

"My mother is a card-reader." Angélique informed "This is a fact that not everyone knows in Marseille, otherwise it could bring her trouble. Women are not seen as accurate card readers… Otherwise, male card readers are held in high regard. As usual…"

"You truly are a remarkable box full of surprises!" Enjolras observed. "Is there any way to reveal how the revolution will unfold? Can you read the stars for me?"

Angélique grabbed his hand and smiled.

"Please, come in…" she invited, pulling him, gently, by the hand.

The inside of the building was dark and had the scent of cold stone. Angélique guided Enjolras to climb the stairs to the upper rooms. When they arrived the hallway, she opened the second door on the left and lighted the five candles of the silver candlestick above a wooden closet, near the door, illuminating the space: it was a medium room, with a large window covered by heavy curtains, with walls covered with flowery wallpaper and a wooden dressing table full of books, white papers, fountain pens and black ink.

Enjolras stood, silent, in front of the door, while the brunette entered the room and went towards her wooden double-bed and lighted the candles of the silver candlestick over the bedside table.

"My room is quite bourgeois, hum?" Angélique grinned. "You can come inside… Don't stand there on the hallway, Enjolras."

The young man was a bit scared for he has never entered in a woman's room before. He felt how ridiculous that fear was: he hasn't afraid of giving his life to the revolution and to die for his ideals and for the People, although, there he was, the glorious leader, scared of entering Angélique's room.

"What are you so afraid of?" she asked, while sitting on her bed.

"I shouldn't be here." Enjolras answered in a nervous tone "I'm feeling odd because of Grantaire's brandy."

"There is no other place where you should be, right now." Angélique said, breathless.

"I should be at home." Enjolras stuttered a little "I should be sleeping for the brandy makes me feel uncomfortable."

"Is it?"

"What?"

"The brandy…" Angélique remarked "That makes you feel uncomfortable?"

Enjolras was breathing heavily and went towards her, with a desperate facial expression. The young Apollo knelt down on the floor, in front of her, and looked above with a hopeless stare.

"This is unbearable… I can't live like this… I try to focus on the revolution and in all the things I have to do but… I can't… because of you. I'm being consumed by my longing for you… I can't sleep… I dream about you every night… I feel ridiculous… I can't help it! And sometimes you are so full of affection and I think you feel the same… but then you turn cold and I'm not so sure… Give me a sign that you don't feel the same way and I will forget…"

Angélique looked at him with bright eyes but didn't say a word.

"If you are suffering as much as I please tell me…" the young man begged.

"Oh, Enjolras… I can't… I…" Angélique whispered "I think I'm a bit drunk… I'm too proud… I've never felt this way before… I don't know what I'm feeling…"

They were lost into each other's eyes and Enjolras grabbed her face between his hands.

"You have awaked feelings in me I never thought I had…" he confessed "Everything Prouvaire always said makes sense to me, now… And that's not alright! But I can't help it… I want to… I don't know… Every time you said "good night", my only wish was to take you home with me and kiss you and make love to you… I feel pathetic saying such things! I'm out of myself! I must go home!..."

Angélique grabbed his arm, gently, with bright eyes full of tears, not allowing him to go away.

"You made me doubt of everything I've always believe in…" she said "But… I don't want to depend upon a man… And I can't help feeling this… burning desire inside of me. Oh, how many nights I've wanted you to be by my side, Enjolras, laying in my bed with me, kissing me... Is this love? I don't know… I shouldn't have confessed these things… Not to you."

"You feel the same way, then?"

Enjolras was feeling intoxicated just for listening to her words and sat on the bed, beside her.

"I can't hide it any longer… It's driving me insane…" she confessed, caressing his face, while he shivered from her touch "We should be lovers but we can't do that… For nothing will keep us together… Not even ourselves."

"Why throw everything away for one happy day?" Enjolras said.

"We could steal time just for one day… For I can't help myself from loving you…"

"If so… love me…"

"I can't decide what I love the most… If your beautiful flesh, if your beautiful mind..."

"You can love them both…" Enjolras smiled while his nose touched hers.

"How fortuned I am…" she whispered "I've found a man worth loving…"

Enjolras took the courage to kiss her and so he did. Their lips met, while his hands caress her face and her arms. Angélique gave in into his embrace and felt her body melting within his arms. Her mouth tasted of wine.

"Oh, Enjolras…" she sighed "You kiss with such passion as you speak of revolution."

"So do you…"

He kissed her again and again. His longing for her was so profound that the only thing he could do was to hold her, strongly, in his embrace. His lips started to kiss her neck and went down to her cleavage, his hands grabbing her breasts; he could feel them for she never wears corsets but hides her breasts away with heavy overcoats.

"Wait…" she begged, breathing heavily. "Don't do that…"

"I apologize." Enjolras stepping aside and blushing "I don't know what I'm doing… It was rude of me. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that… I don't know what's happening to me. I've lost control. Forgive me…"

"Forgive you?" Angélique smiled "For making me feel this overwhelm? No… I do not forgive you. For I've never felt so alive in my entire live… But I… I've never been with a man before…"

"I've never been with a woman before either." Enjolras confessed "I've never wanted to."

Angélique lay down on her bed and looked into his eyes. The breathing was heavy on her chest. She wide-opened her overcoat and unbutton the top of her dress, reveling her bare breasts to him. Enjolras stared at this vision, panting.

"You are the first man to see them." Angélique confessed.

"How fortuned I am."

Enjolras stole her trademark expression and she smiled.

"Make me feel alive, Enjolras…" she whispered.

The blonde young man lay down over her and avidly kissed her lips.

"Make me feel racing blood in my veins." he murmured into her ear.

"Let me see you…" she requested and started unbuttoning his jacket and his shirt, exposing his bare chest to her. "Now, we are equal."

Her hand moved around his chest, feeling his muscles and his skin. Enjolras bend over her and kissed her lips, then he moved down to her neck, while she was breathing heavily, kissing his way to her breasts, he took her nipples into his mouth, caressing them with his tongue, while her hands were locked between the curls of his blonde hair.

"Oh…Enjolras…" she sighed with a smile upon her face.

Enjolras' hand moved below the fabric of her dress, touching her stomach and went down, moving his fingers inside her, while she moaned. His lips met hers and they kissed passionately. Her hand moved to his male organ and felt his erection and caress it, without knowing that she was doing and what to do next. Enjolras gasped.

"Wait…" the young man suddenly stopped "You're still a maid and I don't want you to feel regret…"

"You don't want to make love to me?" Angélique asked in sadness.

"Don't you feel my desire for you?" Enjolras whispered, grabbing her hand and made her touch in his arousal. "Oh, Goddess of Liberty… Goddess of my passion… Only God knows how your eyes melted the ice inside of me and turned me into fire…"

"Never thought of you as a religious man…" she laughed, while touching his naked chest.

"For now I am." Enjolras said "And I will pray in your body."

"And you turned into a poet…" Angélique whispered while he kissed her abdomen and undressed her dress, letting it slide off the bed, leaving her completely naked in front of him.

Enjolras caressed the skin of her legs, feeling the whiteness and discovering the touch of a woman's flesh. Led by his impulses, he kissed her whole body and bend over her, kissing her lips, while Angélique's hands unbuttoned his pants, pulled them down and throw them off the bed, leaving the young Apollo naked on the top of her. Enjolras kissed her, gently, while entering her and Angélique moaned in pain, feeling her virginity being broken into blood.

"Are you alright?" he asked, looking with concern at her face contorted in sore.

"Yes…" she stuttered with a smile and kissed his lower lip. "It's a strange yet pleasant feeling…"

Enjolras embraced her and lifted her trunk from the bed, making her sit above him, as they both moaned by the burning sensation of the sexual act.

"How does it feels?" he asked her, breathing heavily against her neck.

"Warm…" she sighed "And it hurts… But it's a fine… an incredibly fine pain…"

"Yes… my Goddess…" Enjolras caressed her hair and her back, while kissing her lips.

"So… this is love!" Angélique sighted with her fingers locked into his blonde curls.

"If I'm dreaming... Don't allow anyone to wake me..." Enjolras said.

Translation (French – English) and Historical Facts:

* L'Étoile – meaning "The Star"; is the seventeenth Major Arcana card in Tarot of Marseille. The Tarot of Marseille, the most well-known Tarot deck, was created in France, in the city of Marseille, in 1392. Although, only in 1889, the name "Tarot of Marseille" was coined by the French occultist Gérard Encausse (known as Papus).

– British Oculist Aleister Crowley created a system to calculate the Tarot Major Arcana card of the day (there are 23 cards, numbered form 0 to 22), in this case: 1/02/1832: 1 + 0 + 2 + 1 + 8 + 3 + 2 = 3 + 14 = 17

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