Chapter 7: Good-Bye

Josie – The Arena

I don't think of anything except following the fast current for a long time. I barely surface to breathe, I follow the water until I slide like a fish into a deep lake. I find where it is shallow and pull myself onto a rock. I take off my jacket and lay it in the sun. And I just lie on the rock. It's eerily quiet for a few minutes and then the cannons...I count eight and a shiver runs down my spine. Almost half of us are dead in the first few minutes.
I shake myself out of it and open my pack to examine my stash. Not bad for being outside of the Cornucopia: an empty water bottle, some dried meat, ten packs of water purifiers, a strong light rope, and my prizes a small penknife and a waterproof container filled with matches!
I close up the backpack and put the knife in my pocket. It's small, but better than nothing. I'm about to fill the water bottle when I notice something floating in the water. It's caught on the rocks where the fast-moving river meets the lake...it looks like a dead body.

My first instinct is to leave, but then I see a spear floating next to it. I have no weapons and I have perfect aim – I need it. I look around carefully. I don't see the killer. The body must have washed down the waterfall...for that matter, it may simply be Glam. But where did the spear come from? I pack all my things, including the jacket since the day is warm, and put on the backpack. I carefully walk around the lake and wade into the water. I only want to get the spear and run.
I grab hold and pull it free. The head turns with the movement.

It's Collette.

The scream is out of my mouth before I can stop it. I clamp my hand across my mouth and look around nervously. Tears are starting to gather.
Oh no, oh no...
 I examine her carefully. The blood in the water prevents me from seeing how she died. There's blood on the spear but that could be from her holding it. I don't know why she didn't just run from the Cornucopia when I gave her the damn chance.
I suddenly feel angry at her for dying. I could have died saving her ass and now she's just dead after the blood-bath?
Then I think of Ash and all the air goes out of my body.

Oh God...

I know how Finnick would react if I died.
And I'm holding the spear...what if Ash thinks I killed her?
I hear a noise in the brush behind me and I spin around, holding the spear ready.
Ash appears. Tears are stained onto his cheeks. He's covered in blood, his own or someone else's I can't tell, and he has two spears in one hand, a sword in the other and has a backpack.
He looks at his sister's body and freezes. Then, he slowly looks at me.
"It wasn't me, I swear," I tell him. I continue to hold the spear, just in case.
"I know," he replies. His voice is remarkably steady. "I saw her die."
I lower the spear slightly. "Are you...?"
"No," he says. "But it doesn't matter." His dark eyes burn into mine. "If you died," he asks, "What would your brother do?"
My breath catches. "I'm all the family he has," I whisper. "He'd..." I can't. Not on camera. Not here, in the arena, with a boy who might kill me. Ash nods, and extends the two spears towards me, pointy side facing him. "Here."
I carefully step forward and grab them.
"Let's find that kid from your district," he says. He turns to leave.
"Ash," I say. "Wait." He stops and looks at me over his shoulder. I set down my new weapons and carefully drag Collette's body from the river. I hear him gasp.
"Stop, please," he begs quietly. I pretend not to hear him and I, struggling not to vomit at the smell of blood, arrange her so that she seems to be sleeping. I wash my hands in the lake, collect my things, and walk away.

I walk until I hear the sound of the hovercraft that collects the bodies. I freeze, I'm walking slowly, I should have heard Ash follow me.
I suddenly remember the interviews from before the games.
"I'm fighting for my sister," Ash had said.
 I turn and look back the way I came, I can just make out the lake...and Ash still hanging onto his sister's body.
For the second time today, I do something stupid for someone I don't know - I run back the way I came.
As I run, a thought flashes in my mind:
The odds were never in her favor.
 It isn't a comforting thought.

Ash – The Arena

I walk up to her body once Jo walks into the surrounding brush. Tears start streaming down my face again, against my will. I hold her head in my lap. Her eyes are already closed so I stroke her eyelids. I start shivering from sitting on the wet bank, so I push off the ground and picking up Coley's body with me, cradling her like a baby. I never realized how small she was till now, curled up in my arms. She had gained some muscle, living the hard life in the Seam, and more during training, but that seems all irrelevant as she is curled in my arms. I move into the tall grass and start making a bed for Coley.

As I am patting down the grass for her to lie on, I hear it. The hovercraft. I grab and hug Coley's body, refusing to let go.

There is some screaming and someone is pulling at my arms, trying to get them from around Coley. I am screaming, refusing to let go. The claw starts descending towards us and I am all ready to let it take me with it, home with Coley.

There is a hard slap to my face and I am so shocked my grip slackens, and then I am tackled to the side of the claw just at it closes over Coley's body and lifts.

I push whoever tackled me off and run to the claw, but it is too high for me to grab on. I slump to the ground, screaming and crying for my poor sister.

She was so innocent. She didn't deserve to die. I should've died for her. I am so mad at myself I look around for my knife or club or sword. Anything so I can be with her.

I reach back and pull out my knife and again I am tackled to the ground. I struggle but the person is in a position where I can't move.

I fight for a little more before my will just gives out. The person climbs off of me because I stop struggling and I wipe my face clear of the wetness. I sit up and look over to see Jo looking at me.

I look down at my hands, ashamed of myself for losing control. I hear rustling and look up to see Jo walking away from me and into the forest, not looking back at me.

I sit there for a little longer, composing myself and swearing that no more tears will leave my eyes. There is no way I can win these games now, and even if I did, there would be nothing for me. I would still have my family, but the knowledge that I couldn't save Coley would always bag on my mind. Leo, Derek and Macie would forget us – they are still young enough to forget. Jaxx will remember and probably always grieve. Mom and Dad will always remember but pretend like they forgot because of the young ones. Maybe they'll even have another kid or two.

Then I remember. Odair. Finnick. Jo. Coley. Me. Jo and Finnick are just like Coley and me. And worse – Finnick has to watch it all happen to his little sister. And he can't just lock himself away. He is a mentor and has to watch these games year after year. How would he be if he lost his sister?

I stand up, stretching, grab my things then enter the woods.

If I'm still in these Games, I can make myself useful.

I will make sure that I can do everything in my power to help Jo get home to Finnick.