Chapter Fifteen
ON MY OWN
June 6th, 1832
Paris, France
Angélique spent the entire night crying, lying on Heloise's bed. The young woman and her mother left her alone, to give her privacy. It was early morning, the skies begun to clear when the noise of cannons and discharging firearms filled the air and Angélique held her pregnant belly, crying in grief. She, eventually, fell asleep, tired and in distress. When she woke up, everything was silence; there were no more war sounds or men screaming. Her vision was blurring and she saw a male figure on the top of her. As her vision, gradually, returned to normal, she saw Enjolras smiling at her: there was no blood on his clothes or in his skin, his blonde hair seemed more golden that ever, his eyes where intensely bluer and his skin seems to glow.
"My love…" Angélique smiled "You've come back for me… I was so afraid I would never see you again…"
"I've come back to say goodbye." he declared with a smile, caressing her face.
"Goodbye? I do not understand…" she said, with confusion.
"I'm at peace, now." Enjolras informed "Do not weep for me, my love. I didn't felt any pain…"
Angélique stared at him with confusion.
"What are you talking about? You're here with me…"
"Yes… And I will always be with you... Within your heart." Enjolras replied, placing his hand above her left breast.
"Of course you'll always be in my heart, you silly young man!" Angélique laughed.
"And you'll always be on mine… He will see each other again… But many years are ahead of you before that… Raise our child in love, I know you will."
"You are talking in riddles…" Angélique was confused "I don't understand…"
"Mademoiselle, who are you speaking to?" Heloise asked, leaned against the door, looking around.
Angélique looked at her, confused. When she looked above, Enjolras had disappeared. The brunette sat on the bed, looking around, with a lost expression upon her face. Her head was hurting because she spent the entire night crying.
"Enjolras?..." she called, looking around "Where did you go, my love?"
"Mademoiselle?" Heloise asked in concern. "Are you feeling alright? You were talking on your own…"
"I was talking to… a ghost...?" Angélique whispered, with her eyes staring the floor "He's dead… He's dead and his spirit came to me to say goodbye…"
"What are you talking about?"
"Nothing." Angélique denied with tears in her eyes "I must go…"
"Mademoiselle… You are in shock." Heloise said "You mustn't go outside. Remain here and rest… You really need to rest."
"What's going on here?" Millicent asked, still wearing her night clothes.
"She's not alright, mother." Heloise said to Millicent "She thinks she's saw the boy's spirit."
"Dear God…" Millicent sighed in pity.
Angélique raised from the bed; in her face was a desperate expression. She passed by the two women and head towards the exit door, opening it.
"Mademoiselle, don't!" Heloise ran after her "Stop! It's not safe outside!"
But Angélique didn't listen and closed the door.
"Mademoiselle!" she heard the woman screaming in the inside of the house.
The streets were full with blood and National Guards' dead bodies; she looked around and observed the women cleaning the floor. There were men caring dead bodies to a wooden cart. The air smelt of blood and gunpowder.
"They were only schoolboys… They've never held a gun… Oh, children of the barricades who didn't last the night…" one blonde young woman said, while scrubbed the cobbles.
"Such a waste… They were so handsome…" other young woman remarked "Someone used to kiss them and comfort them when they cried… Now, no one can wake them. How sad…"
"Enough talk! Go fetch some water, Agate." one brunette middle-age woman demanded.
Agate was the younger one, a girl in her late teens, with blonde hair and small of stature; she rise from the floor and walked away with a wooden bucket on her hands.
"Did you come to help, girl?" the brunette middle-age woman asked to a bewildered Angélique.
"What?..." Angélique woke up from her frozen state and stared at her.
"I'm Bernadette." she introduced herself "What's your name, girl?"
"Angélique."
"Well, Angélique…" she spelled her name with scorn "You can go fetch some water and start scrubbing the cobbles. We have to clean this sea of blood. And we have to get it clean by tonight! Come on, now! Hurry up! I don't have all day!"
"I apologize… But I'm not here to clean floors…"
"Oh! You're not here to clean floors, han?" Bernadette mocked, interrupting her "You do have a fancy dress! What's a rich girl's business in this dirt? Go away, mademoiselle. You will find only death in here."
"I know this girl, Bernadette!" Louison said as she walked towards them, accompanied by Christelle "She was a close friend with the young men."
"Madame Louison!" Angélique sighed in relief "Are you alright?"
"Oh, don't you worry about me, mademoiselle! I'm a tough woman." Louison smiled "What are you doing here? You shouldn't be here, sweetie…"
"I've arrived during the night." Angélique answered "But Enjolras hide me away in one of these houses…"
"Go home, mademoiselle." Louison asked, caressing her hand, with compassion "You'll only find pain and misery in here."
"Where is he?" Angélique asked, with tears forming in her eyes.
Louison didn't answer and nodded her head with pity.
"Please…" Angélique begged in a tearful voice "He's dead, isn't he?"
Louison sighed with sadness.
"Mademoiselle, go home…"
"I don't have a home to return to!" Angélique cried-out "He was my home. Please, take me to him… I want to see him… Dead or alive… I need to see him."
"Which of the boys is she talking about?" Bernadette whispered to Louison.
"She's talking about Monsieur Enjolras." the woman answered "The blonde one."
"The handsome one? The one who resembled to an angel? I didn't know he had a woman…"
"No one knew." Louison said.
Angélique turned, hiding her face with her hands, and the women saw her silhouette and her pregnant belly under the gown.
"But… You are pregnant, mademoiselle!" Louison remarked in shock.
"I am…" Angélique sighed with her face covered in tears. "Please, Madame Louison… I need to see him."
Louison sighed and nodded her head.
"I begged of you…" Angélique said with despair "Take me to him."
"Why do you want to see him?" Louison asked. "Why put yourself through so much pain?"
"I love him!" Angélique cried-out "I love him with all my existence and I need to see him before they take him away…"
"Alright then, mademoiselle… I will take you to him." Louison agreed "Come with me."
Louison escort Angélique beyond the barricade; she took her to the inside of the Café and opened the back door that lead to the street. There they were: all the dead students, lying on the floor, forming a line of corpses. Angélique felt her body trembling and a cold sensation invading her as her eyes searched for Enjolras.
Then, she saw it: Enjolras's dead body lying on the floor. His face was pale and his lips were purple, there were eight bullet wounds on his chest, and his shirt was filled with dry blood and dust. Tears start flowing from Angélique's eyes and she sobbed with pain.
"Mademoiselle?..." Louison looked at her with concern, caressing her shoulder.
"Can you leave me by myself, Madame Louison?"
"Are you sure, mademoiselle?" the woman asked "You shouldn't be alone at this moment…"
"Please…" Angélique begged without taking her eyes from Enjolras.
Louison sighed and walked away; leaving her alone with the dead bodies. Angélique come closer to Enjolras and stared at him; his face seemed peaceful, despite of the bullet wounds on his chest. Beside him, there was the red flag and she recalled their last conversation in his apartment.
"You said you weren't my father…" Angélique sighed "But here you are… Lying on the floor like him…"
Angélique kneel down beside Enjolras's dead body and caressed his golden curls.
"I can't promise that I won't weep for you… Because I will, my love…" she sobbed "I love you so much… Oh, God, why?..."
She broke down in tears, crying against his chest: her tears were mixing with his blood.
"I've said once I wouldn't allow a man to decide my future… And now my future is lost… I have no place to return to… You were my home, my love… Oh, I've tried to stop you but I couldn't… You didn't listen to me… Will others raise to take your place?..."
"Move, mademoiselle." a guard said with rudeness to Angélique "We have to remove these dead bodies."
"Please, allow me to bury them properly…" Angélique begged, looking around to the guards.
"These young men were traitors." one of the guards said "They have no right to a funeral."
"I begged of you!" she said, raising from the floor "They have families and people who love them… They were only schoolboys…"
"Your petition will serve you no good." the guard said and then turned to the other guards "Call the men. They can come and remove the bodies."
"Have you no heart?" Angélique asked with anger.
"Look, mademoiselle, I don't care about these dead boys here, okay?" the guard said with scorn "Make me and my fellows a favor and go home. Oi! Take these dead bodies to the cart."
Angélique took a deep breath: she had no home to return to. She walked away but her tears didn't stop as she turned her face and saw the National Guards carrying the bodies and throw them to the inside of the wooden cart.
"I never thought I would see a woman crying over Enjolras's dead body…" a National Guard said; he was with his back against the stone wall, while smoking a cigarette.
Angélique looked at him with confusion within her eyes.
"Me and Enjolras were kids together." he declared "We grew up in the same neighborhood."
"What?..." Angélique couldn't understand because she was in such distress.
"Well, he always had a lot of women attracted to him, but he never paid any attention to them." the guard continued "He was a good man… Despite of everything… I was only doing my duty… When I shot him… I couldn't help but thinking that I was killing someone who could easily be me…"
The brunette stared at the man: he had tears in his eyes.
"I'm so sorry, mademoiselle…" he said with pity. "Why don't you say something?"
"I don't feel like talking, right now…" Angélique sighed "My whole life is ruined…"
"You are pregnant…" the guard noticed; dropping his cigarette and staring at her. "Enjolras is the father, isn't he?"
Angélique stared the floor and closed her eyes, biting her lower lip.
"Well, no need to confirm it…" the guard said "I can see by your physical reaction that I'm right… Enjolras is the father of your child."
"What do you want from me?" Angélique asked in anger "You've already killed him like your duty commanded… Isn't that enough for you?"
"Enough?" the guard laughed "Mademoiselle, I've killed him because my superiors gave me orders to do so… It was not something I've enjoyed doing!"
"You did your duty…" Angélique cried "Now, let me be…"
"Be careful with your words, mademoiselle…"
"Or what? Will you kill me? I would gladly receive death!"
"Don't push your luck." the guard warned her "Get out of here… Before some other guard founds out you are pregnant with Enjolras's child. And believe me, he won't let you get out of here alive."
"And why do you?"
"Like you've said… I did my duty and I've killed him. It was enough." the guard said "Now, go away and be careful."
Angélique walked away from the guards removing the bodies and cleaned her tears with the back of her hand. As she was crossing the inside of the Café she saw Marius Pontmercy coming downstairs; with a sling around his right arm and with a walking stick on the other. She recognized him from The Friends of the ABC meeting and tried to remember his name.
"Marius…" she remembered.
"Marius!" Angélique ran after him, in shock "Oh, God! You're alive!"
Marius stared at her with confusion; he did not recognize Angélique – her face was not strange to him but he could not remember her name.
"Don't you remember me?"
A puzzled stared went through his face.
"I'm sorry… I do know you… But I don't identify from where…"
"I'm Angélique." she said "I used to go to the Friends of the ABC meetings… Enjolras introduced me to you."
"Oh! Yes, I remember! Grantaire used to speak about you all the time!" Marius declared with a light smile "What are you doing here?"
Angélique was tired of answering to that question.
"I apologize." Marius noticed the annoyed expression on her face "If you don't want to answer, you don't have to. I was just curious…"
"How did you survive?" Angélique asked.
"Someone took me away from the barricade."
"Who saved you?"
"I don't know…" Marius said with a frozen stare "I was unconscious… When I woke up this morning I was at Cosette's house. But I had to come here to see if the others…"
His voice trembled and small tears formed in his eyes. Angélique didn't know who Cosette is but she did not bother to ask; her mind didn't care about it.
"I went upstairs…" Marius continued and looked above to Café Musain "Everything is destroyed… There they've talked about tomorrow and tomorrow never came… Oh, my friends… They are all dead and gone…"
"I know…" Angélique cried-out with her body trembling.
"Marius!"
The birdie voice came from an ethereal blonde young woman, who was walking towards them. She was clearly wealthy; she was wearing a light blue gown and a bonnet with white flowers.
"You were taking so long I've started getting worried about you." the blonde young woman said.
"Angélique, this is Cosette, my fiancée." Marius introduced them.
"Delighted to meet you, mademoiselle." Cosette smiled in politeness.
Angélique nodded with a light smile.
"Papa is waiting for us in the carriage." Cosette informed, wrapping her arm around Marius's arm. "Is everything alright?"
"Yes…" Marius sighed "I was talking with Angélique about my fellows… She was a great friend of them…"
"I'm so sorry for your lost." Cosette said to Angélique. "Is there anything we can do to help you?"
"I'm afraid not." Angélique nodded, looking down.
"Do you need money?" Cosette asked, searching in her purse.
"Oh, please, mademoiselle… no!" Angélique denied "Don't bother about me…"
"But I insist!" Cosette smiled and hand over to her fifty francs.
"Oh, it's way too much!" Angélique tried to give her back the coins "I cannot accept it."
"Please do." Cosette said with kindness and lend her hand to Angélique.
Angélique was reluctant to accept Cosette's money, but she knew she would need it: she sighed and took the money, hiding it in her purse.
"Thank you." Angélique was grateful "You are very kind, mademoiselle."
"Oh… our lives are very humble and everything we have, we have to share." Cosette said "Papa has always said that to me."
"Come to our wedding, Angélique." Marius invited. "We don't know the date yet, but you can gave us your address and we'll send an invitation."
Angélique's eyes went serious and wet.
"You can send the invitation to Enjolras's address." she, finally, said.
Marius stared at her with confusion.
"Why would I send the invitation to Enjolras's house?" he asked with a confused smile.
"Because I used to live with him…"
"Who is Enjolras, my dear?" Cosette asked Marius.
"Enjolras was our leader." he answered "But he had no interest in women whatsoever..."
Angélique sighed.
"I was his mistress." she confessed. "Only Grantaire knew…"
Marius was puzzled.
"Is this true?" he asked "You were…? That's unbelievable… So… He gave me all that criticism for me being in love while he had a secret lover himself?"
"I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about…" Angélique declared.
"I'm sorry to interrupted… But, Marius, we have to go." Cosette said "Papa is waiting."
"Oh, yes, of course, my dear." Marius smiled at her.
Angélique stared the ground, trying not to think about Enjolras. But seeing this happy couple was rotting her inside.
"We shall go now, Angélique." Marius declared "I will send the invitation to Enjolras's address."
"Thank you." Angélique forced herself to smile "For everything."
"Take care." Marius wished.
"If you need something, anything, don't bother to ask." Cosette guaranteed with a smile. "Farewell."
"Goodbye…" Angélique said as they walked away.
Grrrr… Sorry if I've kept you waiting for too long, again!
I hope you've enjoyed it and there will be one last chapter, the Epilogue, to see what's going to happen to Angélique. Well, I've killed Enjolras like Victor Hugo did, sorry.
Thank you so, so much for the nice reviews! You've been too kind! And for following, of course! It means a lot to me.
Thank you for the reading.