Chapter Sixteen
BRING ME HOME
Angélique returned to Enjolras's apartment. She fell upon the bed and cried, embracing his clothes and feeling his scent, for long nights. Sleeping alone was now unbearable to her; Angélique missed Enjolras's body next to her, this warmth, this scent and his hands caressing her neck. There were times Angélique thought she could sense his presence near her, but she knew those were only illusions from her head. The fact that she doesn't know where the National Guards buried the Friends of the ABC bodies is an agony: she wanted to visit them and bring flowers to their graves. She thought the bodies may have been thrown into the Seine*; therefore, she decided to walk, covered by a large dark cloak,every night near the river and look into its dark waters, hoping she would see their bodies floating.
One night, at the Pont au Change**, Angélique looked deep into the dark waters while a cold breeze flew against her face and made her hair dancing. It was a summer night, but the wind was cold. The month was August; two months without Enjolras. Her pregnant belly was larger and no coat could hide it away, now. By looking into the waters of the Seine, Angélique took a deep breath: what if…? Her life was ruined anyway… Why waiting for the worst to come? The fifty francs Cosette gave her were almost expended; soon she'll have no money to buy food. Everything seemed to be lost and she couldn't afford a child.
"Why not?..." Angélique whispered to herself "Why shouldn't I end my suffering right now?"
The waters of the Seine seemed a peaceful grave, above the starry skies of Paris and the silence of the night. She knew tough times would come after the childbirth. How would she raise her child? She never worked in her entire time, consequently, she had no working experience; she doesn't know how to sew or other practical occupations… No one would give her a job. Enjolras is dead… So there is nothing more for her in this world.
"No…" Angélique thought to herself "I once said a man would not decide my faith… I'm strong. I know I will survive any adversity life puts ahead of me… I once vowed by all the stars in heavens that my child would not grow up away from me… And so it will be."
Abandoning her terrible thoughts, Angélique left the bridge and walked back to Enjolras's apartment.
At the end of September, Enjolras's landlord expelled Angélique from the apartment, due to non-payment of two months' rent in arrears, therefore, she spend one month living on the streets, near the Seine River. She had thoughts about suicide on several occasions but never fulfilled them. Until, in the first days of October, Madame Loire has found her, wandering on the streets, and brought back to her old home, at rue de Verneuil.
October 6th, 1832
Paris, France
"Breathe, mademoiselle…" Madame Loire said.
Angélique chest was waving strongly as her mouth was hide-open, screaming in pain. She was in her old room, back with Madame Loire and Doctor Beaufort for the childbirth. Doctor Beaufort was holding her legs, waiting for the baby to be born, while Madame Loire was encouraging her and two nuns were fetching hot water and dry textiles for the blood.
"I can't…" Angélique screamed in pain. "I can't do it!"
"Hold on, mademoiselle!" Madame Loire said, caressing her forehead. "Use your strength… Hold on only a few more minutes!"
"You've been saying that for hours now, Madame Loire!..." she sighed and screamed in pain.
"The time is near, don't you worry, mademoiselle!" the old woman said "You're strong, hold on!"
Angélique continued screaming and moaning in pain; while the cold sweat fells from her forehead and her cheeks were deeply red.
"The baby is about to be born." Doctor Beaufort "I can see his head."
"Be strong now, mademoiselle!" Madame Loire encourage, holding her hand.
Angélique screamed; while her head lifted from the pillow and she closed her eyes, her face transfigured in pain and in redness. Then, her long and full of hurt scream mixed with a first cry of a baby.
"It's a girl." Doctor Beaufort informed, holding the girl in his arms, soiling his chemise with blood.
Angélique's head rest upon the pillow and brunette young woman smiled and gasp with tiredness.
"Allow me to hold her in my arms." she asked, opening her arms.
The doctor passed the baby to one of the nuns; the woman went to bathing her in the hot water, while the baby girl cried. The other nun cleaned her with one textile and wrapped her in another dry and clean fabric. The nun went towards Angélique, with a light smile, and gave her the baby, which the brunette young woman held in her arms.
"She's so beautiful… And small…" Angélique whispered in delight, caressing the baby. "I shall call her Marianne… The Liberty of France… Marianne Enjolras."
Angélique caressed the baby girl's head while looking at her with a smile; the baby opened her eyes and they were golden with rays of blue. The features of her face were the same as Enjolras and a small among of blonde hair bloomed at the top of her small head.
"You need to rest now, mademoiselle." Madame Loire said. "Give the baby to these Mesdames.***"
"No…" Angélique nodded her head "I want her to be near me."
"Understand, mademoiselle." Madame Loire insisted "You really have to rest. God knows how worried we were about you! You were disappeared for five months. You've broken your grandfather's heart with your missing… But I have good news for you, mademoiselle. The Monsieur is here. He arrived yesterday."
"My grandfather is here?" Angélique asked, holding the baby close to her chest.
"Yes." Madame Loire smiled "Oh! He will be so joyful to see you, mademoiselle! Now, give the baby to us."
"Where are you going to take her?" Angélique asked with concern, looking to the women faces.
Madame Loire stared at her with an unknown and concerned expression.
"I think you already know the answer to that question, mademoiselle."
"No! You will not take her and lock her in a Convent!" Angélique said in despair, holding the baby closer to her chest "I will never allow it!"
Apollinaire Beaulincourt-Marle entered the room and looked around, contemplating his granddaughter's chamber: he was a old man, in his sixties, with white hair and moustache, dressed like the noble man he is; wearing a black top hat and an, clearly, expensive black and white suit, in this left hand he holds a black wooden walking stick with a golden top.
"My dear Angélique!" The old man said with smile that soon faded away "Oh, the bastard has been born…"
"She's not a bastard, she's my legit daughter!" Angélique said with anger.
"You've always been stubborn, my grandchild…" Apollinaire sighed and nodded his head "But this is not the proper time for your whims. Give the baby to the Mesdames and they will take her to the Convent, where she'll receive a proper education."
"No." Angélique declared with firmness.
"Do you think Monsieur Benoît-Campion will accept your bastard child with a dead traitor?"
"I don't care about what Monsieur Benoît-Campion accepts or not. I won't marry him."
"This topic is not something for you to accept or decline! Your marriage with him is an order, not a proposal." Apollinaire informed with strictness "Do you want to shame our family's name? Is that what you want?"
"I want to be with my child." Angélique answered "And if that's the price I will have to pay… I shall renounce your surname. I'll never marry a man I don't even know… And the only man I would ever marry is dead."
Apollinaire stared at her; the old man couldn't believe what he was hearing. Madame Loire blessed herself, terrified.
"Have mercy on the mademoiselle, please, Monsieur!" Madame Loire said "She's in distress because of the childbirth. She doesn't know what's she's saying! Forgive her…"
"I do know what I'm saying, Madame Loire." Angélique guaranteed "And I meant every word of it."
"Do you love that traitor more than you love your own family?" Apollinaire asked with anger.
"Yes, I do." Angélique nodded "I love him more than I ever loved anyone before…"
"You're a disgrace to our family!" Apollinaire shouted "How shameful! First your artistic manners… That I encouraged because I've always believed you're talented, although everyone knows it's an improper occupation for a woman. Then, your problems with the Law! Do you have any idea how many letters I had to wrote to the Guards of Paris because of you and your public speeches about Women's Rights? If you weren't my granddaughter they would have arrested you! Then, your foolish love affair with some revolutionary schoolboy! And, as if that were not enough, you got pregnant! How did you dishonor yourself in such a way? Losing your purity to some gallant scoundrel! You've ruined yourself and now you want to do the same with my family! I shall not allow it! I won't allow it!"
Marianne started to cry, loudly, and Angélique started cradling the child, hopeful that she would calm down.
"Enjolras is nothing of that! He was a kind and dutiful man who..."
"I don't care what kind of man that conspirator was! He was executed by the National Guard because he was a traitor to the King! And all the men like him should be executed as well! Standing that the poor are equal to us!? How shameful! The lower class is nothing more than a bouquet of thieves, beggars and prostitutes****!" Apollinaire shouted "And you will obey to my orders, mademoiselle!"
"No, I will not! I renounce your surname! I refuse to be a part of this family! Nobility? Don't make me laugh! There is no nobility on your character… grandfather!" Angélique shouted with furiousness.
"Very well, then." Apollinaire said, nodding his head "Than consider yourself disinherited! You'll no longer receive any more money of me. You are no longer a noble woman. Consider yourself part of the lower class and you can starve on the streets with that bastard child! Get out of here!"
"Monsieur… Allow the mademoiselle to rest." Madame Loire interfered "The child has just been born... She can't be thrown into the streets!"
"I don't care for her anymore." Apollinaire declared "She's no longer my granddaughter. I want her out of my house!"
"Monsieur…" Madame Loire begged.
"Why are you defending her, Madame Loire?" the old man asked with ferocity "She's nothing more than the whore of a dead traitor!"
"Don't use such terms on our presence, Monsieur!" Madame Loire and the nuns blessed themselves "We are Christian women!"
"I apologize, Mesdames." Apollinaire nodded "This… little woman… gets me out of my nerves."
"I beg of you to let the mademoiselle…"
"Don't call this prostitute "mademoiselle", Madame Loire!" Apollinaire threatened.
"Monsieur, allow her to spend, at least, this night with us. She and the baby will die if the Monsieur throws them in the streets, right now. Winter's at the door, Monsieur! Soon, it will start to snow."
"I don't mind living on the streets…" Angélique declared "I've spend one month on the streets and I'm still alive."
"You didn't have a newborn in your arms back then…" Madame Loire recalled "You'll starve and, probably, die from hypothermia."
"Well, let her die!" Apollinaire said with disdain "I shall return to Marseille. My business here is complete. My poor daughter will have her heart broken when she hears the news… You are just like your father, Angélique! The same type, the same blood as that traitor... Doctor Beaufort, you can leave with me. Your services are no longer required. Madame Loire, I shall count on you to take this creature to where she belongs. Farewell."
By saying these words, Apollinaire Beaulincourt-Marle left the room, accompanied by Doctor Beaufort. One of the nuns escorted the Messieurs downstairs. When their departure was a certainty, Madame Loire sat on the bed, next to Angélique.
"Oh, mademoiselle…" she sighed in despair "Why didn't you obey to your grandfather?"
"He's not my grandfather anymore, Madame Loire." Angélique answered "You've heard him."
"If only you had agreed to marry Monsieur Benoît-Campion…"
"I would never do such thing… Marry a man when my heart belongs to another."
"That schoolboy is dead, mademoiselle…" Madame Loire recalled with pity.
"Please, Madame Loire… I know… I don't need you to remind me." Angélique interrupted.
The baby girl started to cry and not even the cradling made her stop.
"Hush now, Marianne…"
"She must be hungry." Madame Loire informed "You have to breastfeed her."
And so Angélique did.
"You need to rest." Madame Loire said "The life that's ahead of you will be a nightmare, mademoiselle... If only you weren't so stubborn…"
"I don't need your pity…" Angélique declared. "After all you're the one who reported me to my grandfather."
"Mademoiselle, I've only did it for your welfare." Madame Loire defended herself "I've never thought it would come to this."
"It's too late for regrets now…" Angélique said looking to the little Marianne.
"I shall let you rest, now." Madame Loire said and left the room.
Angélique slept deeper than ever before on those long three months before, due to the tiredness of the childbirth. Marianne slept within her arms, holding close to her mother, like, the baby herself, knew that she could be taken away. In that night, Angélique dreamt of Enjolras and his happiness about their little daughter: the dream was so real that she could feel his lips upon her forehead and her lips and his hands caressing her neck and her shoulders.
The next morning, Angélique was thrown into the streets, like Apollinaire demanded. Madame Loire offered her a large cloak, made of a warm and strong material, which would give her and the baby safety from the cold of the Winter. The old woman was crying, in grief, because of Angélique's departure and calamity.
"Here." Madame Loire gave Angélique a bag "I've put some money and food on there… You have bread, milk, water, some salty meat… The money may be enough for a room. And a sharp knife! The streets of Paris are dangerous…"
"You are disobeying to Monsieur Beaulincourt-Marle, Madame Loire." Angélique recalled.
"I'm an old woman and a Christian." she declared "The Monsieur may be my patron but I don't always agree with him."
"If you need anything, mademoiselle… Come to our Convent at Rue de Picpus." one of the nuns said. "The church always helps the misfortune ones."
"Thank you." Angélique nodded "Thank you both… Well, I believe this is a goodbye."
Madame Loire nodded and cleaned her tears.
"May God protect you, mademoiselle!" she wished "I'll pray for you every day until the end of my life."
Angélique smiled and started walking to the streets, holding the baby Marianne with her arms. The weather was getting colder. She wandered the streets, wandering to her unknown faith.
Translation (French – English) and Historical Facts:
* Seine – (or in French La Seine) is the river that crosses Paris and was a popular site for suicides and the disposal of bodies of murder victims.
* Pont au Change – There is no translation for the name, but "Pont" is "Bridge" and "Change" is "Change". It is a bridge over the Seine River, in Paris, and connects the Palace of Justice to the Right Bank. In the novel Les Misérables, Inspector Javert comes to this bridge and throws himself into the Seine, committing suicide.
***Mesdames – meaning "Ladies". It is the plural form for "Madame".
****Lower class – meaning the "Poor class", was also known as the "Dangerous class" and during the XIX century caused great controversy, turmoil and change in France. The XIX century France was still a peasant nation and the majority of the Bourgeoisie and Nobility looked down upon and despised the poor because of social stereotypes: that they were lazy, immoral and sinful people, who were usually vagabonds, beggars, criminals and prostitutes. However, they had such occupations because of their destitute situation. The children received the worst treatment because of these stereotypes and the poor status of their parents, and many were either abandoned and became wards of the state, or remained in unstable home environments, where they were prone to child abuse and prostitution by their parents.
Okay, so I had to divide the final part of the story in three chapters because, other way, this chapter would be too extensive. So there will be a seventeen chapter and the Epilogue.
Gosh, I've read all the new reviews! You have been so kind to me. Thank you so much; those are some really awesome reviews! I'm flattered, really! I don't have enough words to describe my gratitude.
Thank you for the reading.