Back to the silliness because I'm not really good at writing serious stuff. C:

Warning: Slight language and a creepy shopkeeper. Yeah, that guy.

Also, I decided to keep Josh and Neku as just friends with Josh constantly aggravating the other. Shipping is nice and all, but I'm no good at writing that stuff. Heck, I can barely write this. ^^;

Enjoy!

~I don't own TWEWY~

"Hey, hon! Long time no see! Workin' up a sweat there?"

Neku liked discounts. He had never been particular about his clothing, just that he preferred Jupiter of the Monkey (they're comfortable, dammit!) and that he would rather not spend 100,000 yen just for one shirt. That was why, during the Game, he had made a point to always be cordial to all of the shipowners because like all humans, they played favorites and would give discounts to customers they liked.

Now that the Game had ended and everything was over, he had forgotten that some of the shopkeepers had gotten very friendly with him.

"You need any help taking that off, hon? I'll be glad to help!"

Yeah. Friendly.

That was why Neku was currently in Le Grande using Joshua- of all people- as a human shield to ward off a certain over enthusiastic HT Masuoka.

"Why am I even in here?!" Neku hissed to the ash blonde as he tried to ignore the hawk-like stares that were piercing his back.

"It's either here with me or at Natural Puppy with the girls, and I'm pretty sure Eri is in one of her moods," Joshua replied, sounding distracted as he rifled through the discount bin.

Neku cringed slightly at the mention of Eri. She had quickly become part of the group and had become a good friend, but recently, she had started trying to convince Neku to model for her. It wouldn't have been so bad if she hadn't been attempting to force him into a dress. Shiki was apologetic but refused to help him while Beat and Rhyme were too afraid of Eri to stop her.

Joshua just laughed at him and then asked for pictures.

'So much for friends,' Neku thought darkly.

"You know, hon, I think the clothes over here suit you much more," Masuoka practically purred while winking at Neku.

"Uh, no thanks. I'm fine here." 'Far away from you.'

Joshua began to giggle slightly, "I find it amusing that you're repulsed by his flirtations, but never reject mine." He turned to his ex-proxy, a wide smirk stretched across his face. "Could it be that-"

"Oh hell no, don't you dare finish that sentence."

Joshua crossed his arms, a small pout on his face. "But Neku, you don't even know what I was going to say."

Neku rolled his eyes. "You were going to say, 'could it be that you're returning my feelings~?'" He even raised the pitch of his voice in what Joshua assumed was a mocking imitation of his.

Joshua chuckled and nodded approvingly, reminiscent of an adult praising a small child for doing something correctly. "Very good, Neku! You can even tell what I'm thinking now. Why, we're practically two halves of a whole." He grinned. "You could say... we complete each other."

Neku groaned. "Just piss off, Josh," he muttered.

The ash blonde giggled.

"You're welcome."

"What?"

"I just scared off your potential stalker."

Neku's eyes widened and he quickly scanned the store. Indeed, HT Masuoka had disappeared.

"He thought we were together. You're welcome, dear~" Joshua giggled. "You owe me one," he added with a smirk.

Neku blanched at the thought of owing Joshua a favor. He looked through the store again and realized that they were receiving a lot of stares. Evidently, their conversation was a lot louder than Neku had thought.

"Couldn't you try to get rid of him in a different way? I don't want the people here to think I'm into you," his nose wrinkled at the thought.

"If you're going to be troublesome..." Joshua sighed as he turned back to the clothing racks. "You could buy a dress or something- pretend you have a girlfriend. But be convincing. Someone still has his eyes on you," he warned with a slight grin. Masuoka had reappeared from a storage closet, and was making eyes at Neku again.

"I thought you said you scared him off."

"He thinks that I was just flirting with you. He'll leave you alone if you suggest you're in a relationship." Joshua explained, sounding bored with the topic.

'Pretend I have a girlfriend... I can do that,' Neku thought. A small part of his mind was screaming at him for taking Joshua's suggestion, but he ignored it. 'As long as I can get him to leave me alone.'

He wandered off from where Joshua was searching for clothes and approached a wall that displayed various dresses. He could feel the gaze of the shopkeeper and, frankly speaking, it was really creeping him out. The orange head steeled himself for what he was about to do. He was a decent actor. He could do this.

"Excuse me," Neku turned to Masuoka who had coincidentally waltzed by.

"Yes, hon? Did you need a certain size for something?" He responded all too cheerfully.

"Yeah... Do you have this dress in a smaller size?"

Masuoka looked surprised, but he grinned at the dress, "Great choice, hon. It really brings out your-"

"It's for my girlfriend." He quickly cut in. Neku almost laughed at how quickly Masuoka's face fell at his words, but with a bit of effort, he managed to keep his nonchalant facade.

"You have... a girlfriend?"

"Yeah. Why?" Neku asked, his face the image of innocence. He wondered if it was possible that he had contracted Joshua's sadistic tendencies, because this was way too fun.

"No reason... I'll get it for you..." Neku could see the dark cloud that descended over the shopkeeper as he trudged off. Neku would have felt guilty, but really, he was just happy that the creep would finally leave him alone. He grinned to himself. Free at last.

"Having fun?" An irritating giggle interrupted his thoughts. "I have to say, you did a good job. Just look at all those Noise swarming around him," Joshua chuckled as he walked up to Neku with his purchases in a bag.

Neku stared at him in alarm. "Noise?"

The Composer just waved him off. "He'll be fine. Are you buying that dress?" He asked, nodding to the dress that the shopkeeper was bringing back. It was simple pastel blue dress with a silk ribbon.

Neku resumed his bluff as the shopkeeper approached and nodded, "Yeah, it's for her."

The air around HT Masuoka grew darker at the words and he struggled to fight off the twitch he had at the corners of his mouth.

"It'll be 17,000 yen, sir."

This time Neku couldn't hold back the small grin at the lack of "hon." Oh, sweet victory.

He paid and politely thanked the shopkeeper. He felt tempted to hang around a little longer, but decided to leave the poor man alone. There was also the pressing issue of Joshua, who looked like he was about to explode with laughter if they didn't leave the store soon.

"I need to stop hanging around you so much. You're starting to rub off on me."

"Learning from the best," Joshua snickered. "You crushed his heart, dear."

Neku shrugged, still grinning victoriously, "He was the one who couldn't take a hint." He shifted his arm, reminded of the dress he had just purchased. "So... what should I do with this?" He mused, lifting the bag.

"You could return it later," Joshua suggested and then smirked. "Or I have a better idea..."

Neku narrowed his eyes. He didn't like the look Joshua had on his face. "What are you-"

"Oh, Eri~" Neku froze as the pink haired teen emerged from the nearby shadows and- what was she doing there? Had she been waiting for me?

"Wha- what are you doing here, Eri?" His voice sounded feeble, even to him.

"Oh Neku, you bought a dress! And it's in your size, too..." Eri had that look in her eyes- the kind that drained the blood from Neku's face and would have made even Pi-Face cry. With a jolt, he realized that the dress was his size.

Fuck.

"You owe me a favor, dear. I'd like to cash it in," Joshua cooed, his eyes shining with amusement as Neku stood there, frozen in shock.

"You- You planned this!"

Joshua spared him a devilish smirk before turning to his conspirator. "Maybe~ Eri, dear, be sure to get me plenty of pictures."

"Of course!"

Neku frantically searched for an escape route or for someone who would help him. Anything to get away, but to no avail. And thus began the worst five hours of Neku's teenage life.

'Cuz cross dressing is cool. You work that dress, Neku! And remember, enjoy the moment~ xD

For the next few, I'm gonna try to focus more on Eri and the Bito siblings because I really haven't tried to do anything for them yet. (Eri sort of, but not really.)

Please review! :)