~ chapter 6 ~

I take a sip of coffee and pretend to read the Daily Prophet as he walks into the kitchen, not saying anything. The memory of the last evening's event is still fresh in my mind and I do not feel like talking to him. Or even looking at him.

Even though I try hard to ignore him, I can't help but notice him as he sits down and pours himself some coffee.

I take a deep breath, biting my lower lip.

"Do you have plans for today?" he suddenly asks.

I tense up and simply shake my head, not looking up at him, "No."

"You are planning on spending the day here?"

"Perhaps," I reply, "I don't know yet."

Silence.

"Is there a reason you have not looked at me once?"

I slowly place the newspaper onto the table and then finally meet his eyes, "No, no particular reason."

He raises an eyebrow, "Is that so?"

"Yes."

"I do not believe you."

That angers me, "Believe what you want."

He smirks, "You are angry."

I stare at him, trying hard to remain emotionless but it's not working.

"Is it because of yesterday?" he asks, "I do not understand you, Granger. You have mentioned a thousand times our marriage is fake - "

"That does not give you the right to disrespect me."

There. I said it.

I can't pretend it does not bother me.

He is silent, only staring at me.

So I continue, "How would you feel if I...if I was...cheating on you?"

"I would hardly call it cheating," he drawls, "Are you forgetting the real reason behind our marriage?"

"No, but I expected you to respect me."

He stands up, "Respect is earned, Miss Granger. As well as trust."

And with that he walks out.

ooo

I sit in silence beside his bed, watching him, observing him for any sign of movement. His chest is rising and falling slowly. He's breathing. There is a look of peace on his face and for some strange reason I can't look away.

It feels magical.

Saving someone's life.

Knowing that the person would be dead if it weren't for you.

We are alone in the room. Everyone knows he was a double agent, everyone knows he was not a traitor. And they all can't wait for him to wake up to attack him with questions.

I pull my chair closer to the bed and then I see it.

His face moves, frowns and then his eyes slowly open. He blinks a few times, not noticing me at all. I hold my breath in anticipation as I wait for him to realize where he is.

Finally his eyes move towards me and there is confusion on his face. I am probably the last person he expected to find beside his bed.

"Granger?" his voice is husky and weak.

"Yes, Professor, it's me. How are you feeling?" I ask slowly.

He does not answer.

His hand moves up to his neck only to find it bandaged. I watch in silence as the realization slowly hits him and then he looks at me again.

"What happened?"

"W-We won, Sir. Voldemort is gone."

"When?"

"Two days ago. You were...asleep since..."

"I died."

"No, you almost died," then I smile, "But I succeeded in bringing you back."

His eyes narrow at me, "You?"

"Yes, Harry helped, but - "

"You saved my life?"

"I did."

Silence.

I did not expect him to be thankful, I know him better than that. But I sure as hell did not expect to see rage on his face. Rage directed towards me.

"What gave you the right?" he asks slowly, his voice dripping with venom.

"I'm sorry - ?"

"What gave you the right to decide about whether I lived or not?"

"Sir - "

"Leave, Miss Granger."

My eyes widen in shock, "But...I don't understand. You wanted to die?"

"Leave," he repeats.

"I thought I helped you."

"Get out," he hisses, sending me a cold glare.

I stand up, shaking slightly and quickly exit the room.

ooo

It's been a long time since I've been in the Great Hall for a meal. I was too ashamed to face all the students, but today I decided to eat with my friends.

And avoid Snape.

"So he's traveling all around the world," Ginny says, "He'll be back for a couple of days in December."

I force a smile.

"Will he be visiting Hogwarts?" Harry asks.

"Probably, he's dying to see you."

I clear my throat, "He hasn't mentioned me? Is he still angry?"

Ginny rolls her eyes, "You know how stubborn Ron can be sometimes. He's pretending to not care about you, but he'll come around eventually."

"I hope it doesn't take him longer than a few months," I whisper.

"What do you mean?" Harry turns to look at me.

"Forget it."

Ginny moves closer, "You've been acting so strange lately, Hermione."

I take a deep breath, "I'm just...having problems with Snape."

Both Harry and Ginny tense up but they pretend it does not bother them.

"What kind of problems?" they both ask at the same time then look at each other awkwardly.

"I can't really talk about it, but he is being really difficult," I admit.

Ginny smirks, "Well, he is Snape. What did you expect?"

What did I expect?

Perhaps a calm life. Or at least what's left of it. Not constant bickering and fighting.

I smile and quickly change the subject, "So, how's Quidditch?"

ooo

It's night already.

And he's not home. Again.

Where is he? What is he doing? Shouldn't he be preparing for tomorrow? It's Monday.

And why am I so nervous?

I need to relax. I need something to take my mind off of him.

My eyes slowly move to the firewhiskey on the table. I've never tried it. What does it taste like? Well, it can't hurt to try.

I pour myself a drink and bring the glass to my nose, sniffing it. It does not smell that bad.

I take a first sip and grimace as the liquid burns my throat.

Disgusting.

I put the glass down, coughing a bit, my eyes watering in the process.

But only a moment later I take another sip. And another.

Soon I am pouring myself another glass. The taste is getting better and better with each sip I take.

And I realize my mood is getting better as well.

A laugh escapes me as I pour myself a third glass.

ooo

I am laughing hard by now.

And what is wrong with the room? Why is it spinning around me like that? Has Snape put some sort of a spell on it?

I lay back onto the sofa, staring up at the ceiling.

"Granger?"

It's him.

I sit up and smile, "Hi."

"What are you doing up?" he asks.

"What are you doing up?" I ask back, blinking a few times to clear my sight.

He is silent for a long moment, then he approaches me, "Have you been...drinking?"

"No," I reply, then a laugh escapes me and I cover my mouth with my hand.

He approaches me, "You've drank almost the whole bottle, Granger."

"I have?" my eyes widen in surprise, "Well, let's drink all of it then so you can throw it away."

I take the bottle from the table and bring it to my mouth. It's suddenly snatched away from me and I look up at him, "Give that back to me!"

"No," is his only answer as he puts the bottle away and returns to me, "Get up. I will walk you to your room."

"I don't feel like going to my room, Snape," I say to him, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Do stop being childish," he speaks, "You have classes tomorrow."

"So what? I'm not going, anyway."

"Of course you are going," he then points towards my room, "Get up."

"That...that is going to be a problem," I laugh.

"And why is that?"

"Because the room is...moving. And I'll just wait here until it stops if you don't mind."

Is that a small smile on his face? Or am I imagining it?

"Come," he says, grabbing my arm and pulling me to my feet.

I struggle at first, but then give in and we slowly walk to my room.

"Where have you been?" I ask, looking at him.

"There were matters I had to attend to."

"Really? I-I-I don't believe you."

Finally we reach my room and as soon as we enter, my stomach turns.

I close my eyes, "I don't feel so well."

"How come? You were so chipper only a minute ago," Snape replies sarcastically.

I grab his arm for support, "I think I'm going to be sick."

A tired sigh escapes him and he quickly helps me to the bathroom. I drop to my knees and hover above the toilet, shaking.

"What the hell were you thinking?" I hear him ask.

I try to answer, but the sickness takes over me again, followed by vomiting.

This feels horrible.

Minutes pass.

When I finally think it's over I make a move to get up and then I feel his hands on my shoulders, holding me steady.

"Bed," I manage to whisper.

As soon as we reach it, I fall onto it, closing my eyes. My head hurts now.

I can hear him walking away.

Is this it?

He's gone.

I'm starting to feel cold, but I don't want to move to cover myself with a blanket.

Then I hear him again.

I open one eye to see him sit on the bed next to me, offering me something.

"Take this. You will feel better," he says and I notice a small bottle in his hand.

"W-What is it?"

"A potion. It will help you."

I shake my head, "N-No."

"Do not be stubborn, Granger."

"I can't take it."

"Why not?"

I close my eyes, "Just go away and I'll see you t-tomorrow."

"Take the damn potion, Granger. I assure you it is not poisoned."

"I would not be so sure about that," the words escape me.

He draws a breath in but decides to ignore the comment, "Drink it, Granger."

"No."

"Do not make me force it down your throat."

"I can't take it. I could react badly with my medicine," I answer in a sleepy voice.

"What medicine?"

My eyes snap open. What did I just say?

He's staring at me suspiciously, "What medicine are you talking about, Granger?"

I roll over onto my back, "I want to go to bed."

"You are in bed."

"I want to go to sleep."

Everything hurts. It feels as if I'm going to be sick again, but I can't move. I just want to sleep. What was I thinking getting drunk?

He's moving. I can feel it.

And then something is pulled over me and I feel much warmer.

"Why do you hate me?" I ask quietly.

"Sleep."

"I don't hate you."

"You are not even going to remember this conversation in the morning, Granger."

My voice is barely above a whisper as I look at him, "I'm dying."

"You are not dying."

"I am."

"You are going to be alright. And hopefully you will think twice before doing something as foolish as this again."

That's funny. I finally admit my secret to him and he does not believe me. It's probably meant to be like that. The universe does not want him to know.

I close my eyes again, "I don't want you to hate me."

Silence.

I groan and move, pressing my face into the mattress.

"I do not hate you. Now go to sleep."

My body is not obeying me. I want to open my eyes. I want to talk, but I can't.

Soon the darkness takes over me.

A/N: Thank you for reading! :)