Say something, I'm giving up on you.
I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you.
Anywhere, I would've followed you.
Say something, I'm giving up on you.
Eric never thought he had ever been or could be so powerless. His hands shook, and his breath faltered with chokes of grief. They had been trapped by a couple of shooters. Him and Nell, alone, with no other agents. It's not that he hadn't trusted her skills in the field, he just wished now, more than ever that there had been one here, and not just Nell, because then this wouldn't have happened. He would be able to speak, and his hands wouldn't be covered in blood.
Nell had gotten them all, even the last shooter, but they fired at the same time and Nell hit the ground just like him. The bang still echoed in Eric's head despite his best efforts to remove it from his mind. His main focus was now Nell, her collapsed body positioned on the ground, blood pooling from her right side.
It took him a second to register the horror in front of him, he dove down to her side, yelling her name. Her hazel gaze was staring up to the tiled ceiling, her face was motionless, and she wasn't reacting to the pain. This sent Eric into a panicked state, as he gripped her shoulder on the other side and shook her. "Nell! Nell, please!" he called, "Nell!" he screamed, losing control of his voice. There came the tiniest bit of relief when her lip quivered and she squeezed her eyes shut. But then she coughed, and blood spattered her chin and lips.
"Eric," her eyes clung to his desperately, her voice was soft but it broke towards the end. She coughed again, her breathing now shallow.
"I can stop the bleeding, just give me a second," he promised as he removed his jacket, he wrapped it around her chest tightly, pressing down on where the bullet hit, exactly opposite her heart. "I'm gonna get you out of here Nell," he told her, pulling out his phone and messaging for an ambulance. He then discarded it aside, and his attention returned to her. "They're gonna be here soon, okay? They'll take you to the hospital and it won't hurt okay, it won't hurt. I'll be right beside you when you wake up too. I'll be right there, Nell. You'll always be safe," he pleaded. He applied more pressure, and ignored the blood at the corners of her lips. No, this isn't going to happen, this can't happen, please, please God. Don't let this happen. He begged silently, his eyes welling, and dripping to the carpet below.
"Eric," Nell managed in a whisper, saving her energy. She needed to tell him. If she died without letting him know what he meant, truly, to her, well... Please Eric just shut up for a second I need this, please Eric.
"It'll be okay, Nell," Eric answered immediately, now not able to look her in the eyes. This was my fault, if only I wasn't scared of guns, if only I was stronger like Deeks or Kensi. Then I could have protected her, like partners should. I could have saved her from this, this could have been avoided. God I can't imagine what she's thinking of me now, probably wishing she had a different partner.
"Eric," she tried again desperately, she saw his face, she knew what he was thinking, she wanted it to stop. She hoped he would meet her eyes, so if she couldn't speak any more then maybe that way he would know. Eric.
"I think I can hear the ambulance already," he mumbled to himself, instead of responding, because he knew if he looked up, he wouldn't be able to hold back what was building up in his chest. "You're gonna be fine, Nell, you're going to-"
Nell shifted her hand, using all she had left to drop it on his. This time she got a reaction, the pressure got a bit less intense and he finally looked back at her. His pale green irises burrowed into hers looking for any sign that everything was going to be okay . Of course she couldn't give him that, she knew how this would end, she just wished she had a little more time. "It's okay, Eric, it doesn't hurt." At least the gunshot doesn't.
His stomach fell into what felt like an endless pit, "Nell," he replied finally, "Please," all hope had faded from his eyes, and he moved a thumb to wipe away a trail of blood across her cheek. "I don't know what I'll do without you, you're not just my partner, you're my best friend, the one person who means more to me than anyone else ever will." He told her as he no longer tried to hold back the tears. "I can't lose you, please don't let me lose you, Nell," his voice wavered and his eyes stung red.
Her vision was becoming blurred and things were fading into darkness. This was it. She didn't have enough left in her to respond verbally, but she could squeeze his hand, and she could pull the corners of her mouth up. She replayed his words over and over in her head in her last moments as his face then became out of focus and faded to black.
Please know I loved you too.
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