4. CELEBRITY GUEST STAR!
Morvis: I'm ba-ack!
Frodo: Damn...
Morvis: What, no random assassination attempts?
Frodo: *gives Morvis the finger*
Morvis: Whatever, let's-*gets cut off as a mine detonates underneath him, forcing him to jump to the side right into the waiting clutches of the Watcher in the Water* OH SHIT! *Was taken by surprise and about to be torn to pieces when a bazooka blast hits the Watcher square in the face, allowing Morvis to free himself*
Frodo: Wha- How- I- Th-
-(Burn it to the Ground music plays) Halley's comet goes flying overhead. A figure leaps off and lands in the midst of the characters. She straightens and pulls out an AK-47.
Frodo: *shriek of terror before he gets shot 258,474,127 times and dies*
Morvis: *just finished kicking the Watcher's ass* ZEA! You made it! Hungry? *holds up a plate of sushi*
Zea: Is that...
Morvis: Uh-huh
Zea: I'll pass, no offense.
Morvis: None taken *throws sushi at Bilbo* For those who are unfamiliar with the name Zea, she is the greatest badass I have ever met and she has written the greatest truth or dare fic I have ever read, in which she kicks the shit out of Nintendo characters for the hey of it.
Zea: *bows to the crowd* Thank you, thank you... *applause continues for 45 minutes*
Morvis: Um, Zea? Could we do some dares?
Zea: Oh, yeah, dares, sure.
That was great, again! I would suggest that you quickly re-edit this chapter
so that all the dares are in italics, like the previous chapters. That makes
it easier to follow.
But now, I need to ask for the truth.
Frodo and Sam: When you two were by the scarecrow in the first movie, (the
part where Sam said "If I take one more step, it'll be the farthest from home
I've ever been") when the shot pulled out, there was a dust cloud in the
distance that looked like it was made by a vehicle. What was that?
Frodo: Were all the adventures you wrote about in the Red Book real, or did
you make it all up to get a lucrative movie deal?
With regards, H. M. Lee
Morvis: ...Oops... thanks... and I'm curious about the dust too.
Farmer Maggot: It was me chasing those two delinquents. And it wasn't dust, it was smoke coming out my ears. I was seriously that angry. *glares at Merry and Pippin*
Zea: I can sympathize with that. *thinking of Kite*
Morvis: Meh, the old coot deserves it.
Frodo: All adventures were real, though I had to omit certain... experiences to make sure I got the movie deal.
Sam: *turns beet red*
Morvis: I don't want to know. Next!
Hmm...you are all an interesting bunch, I must say. Sadly, none of you are a
match for my amazingness, how sad. DARE TIME!
Morvis: I was hoping you'd fight me. Well, you're going to now, I want to see
what sort of host you are. Do your best, young grasshopper.
Frodo: You're awesome. I like you.*Gives him a gender swap gun* go crazy.
Gollum: GO ON AN AMAZING POKEMON AVENTURE AND CATCH ARTICUNO (my fave Pokemon
EVAR)
Everyone else: See how long you can survive...NYAN CAT MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!Yay!
I actually managed to do it!
Zeaaaaaaaa... OUT!
Morvis: Nice job with the diabolical laughter. Let me try. MUAHAHAHAHA-*coughs up a lung* Oops.
Zea: You'll get the hang of it eventually *ducks underneath a flaming boomerang that Morvis just threw and grows two extra arms, pulls out four bazookas, and goes wild firing at him*
Morvis: *dodges blasts, catches one and throws it back*
Zea: *portals the blast directly behind Morvis*
Morvis: *Is hit and sent flying* GAAHH!
Zea: *moving in for the kill when the boomerang comes back and stabs into her arm* OW!
Morvis: *gets up and sends the army of the dead at Zea*
Zea: Ha! I am more deadly than death itself! *grabs Aragorn's sword and hacks the ghosts to pieces, then sends out the three armies that assaulted her studio a while back*
Morvis: Hmph. *creates huge shockwave that OBLITERATES the armies all at once* Your move...
Zea: Fine *summons Chuck Norris* EAT IT, SUCKA!
Morvis: Zea, Zea, Zea, how could you not know that Chuck Norris is the SECOND biggest badass in the world? *summons Jack Bauer*
Chuck Norris and Jack Bauer: *have an epic fight until Jack shoots Chuck in both kneecaps, then rips off his beard and strangles him with it.*
Everyone: 0_0 Whooaaa...
Jack: Sorry sir, but my country is threatened. I have to go.
Morvis: That's all right. I got this. *pulls a massive lightning sword out of nowhere and charges at Zea*
Zea: *pulls out her light sword that killed Kite and races to meet him*
-totally epic swordfight before they charge up all their power and shoot it at each other-
-BIGASS EXPLOSION THAT DESTROYS THE WORLD-
Zea: *floating in space* Well done. *extends hand*
Morvis: *shakes her hand* Wow, I... I didn't think we were that evenly matched, ... I expected to have my ass handed to me on a silver platter *trying to catch breath*
Zea: Well, you have skills. Now help me revive the world.
Both of them: *revive world*
Morvis: So... how's the Marth/Link situation going?
Zea: I...I don't know. I love Link, bit now it seems as if Marth may have loved me the whole time. It's... confusing.
Morvis: Well, anything I can do to help, ask me.
Zea: You are... unexpectedly friendly.
Morvis: Compared to Author? Absolutely. I read your last chapter and thought 'I hope I never end up like that jackass'
He treats you like shit, and you don't deserve that.
Zea: This tender moment is nice, but it sorta takes away from the point of why I'm here.
Morvis: You're right. *reads dare* ARE YOU INSANE? Frodo isn't awesome, he's an idiot with a superiority disorder.
Frodo: WOOT! *shoots at Legolas, then at Morvis.*
Legolas: *turns into a girl, looks in a mirror, and has a heart attack*
Morvis: *blast bounces off him back at Frodo*
Frodo: *nothing happens*
Sam: 0_0
Zea: Uh-huh... creepy
Morvis: Still think he's awesome?
Zea: Shut it.
Gollum: *goes on an epic pokemon adventure to capture Articuno, but realizes he doesn't have a Poke ball and gets eaten by it.*
Nyan Cat: Hi everybody!
Nazgul: RAINBOW! *dies*
Everyone else: Ummmm...
Zea: Ooh, poptart! *kills cat and eats it*
Frodo: You're inhumane.
Zea: See, Morvis, they're catching on.
Morvis: ANYWAYS! Let's keep the dares rolling.
From: lala234 ()
dares:gimli shave your beard off,legolas bite strider on his nose ,and
strider kick arwen in her stomach
no truthes here now ,so
TOODLES!
Gimli: *reads dare* What? You want me to remove my beard? My pride and joy? My honor and dignity? My-
Morvis: YES! Now get to it. *hands Gimli a razor*
Gimli: *starts shaving*
Zea: *leans over* Lord, he's long-winded
Morvis: Don't I know it.
-27 minutes later-
Gimli: The razor isn't working, neither is the chainsaw.
Morvis: Don't worry, I know what to do. *pulls out a lightsaber and cuts off Gimli's head* Now his beard isn't connected to his body! Go loopholes!
Legolas: *is still a girl, goes up to Aragorn and bites his nose* Hi cutey!
Aragorn: *tries to kick Legolas but misses and kicks Arwen instead*
-Arwen and Legolas get into catfight-
Eomer, Faramir, Merry, and Gandalf: *all gather round with popcorn*
Zea: 0_0 Wow...
Morvis: Well, they're going to be busy for a while, so I'm just gonna continue.
From: Kitty XOXO ()
Gr8 chapter! Here r some dares and truths!:
1. Dare merry and pippin to kill Gollum!
2. Dare Gandalf to kiss a monkeys butt!
3. Ask him if he liked it ;)
4. Dare frodo to kiss Sam (cuz he's bi) ;p
The end :D
Merry & Pippin: *randomly kill Gollum*
Gandalf: *reads dare* Ew. Really?
Zea: Yup! *warps in a howler monkey*
Gandalf: Yuck *kisses the monkey's butt*
Monkey: *turns around and eats Gandalf*
Morvis: Well I guess he can't do his truth, though the answer seems obvious.
Frodo: *reads his dare and gets a big smile*
Sam: *reads the dare and faints*
Frodo: * runs over and makes out with Sam*
Everyone: *eyes shatter*
Sam: *wakes up to Frodo making out with him and dies*
Morvis: ENOUGH! *revives everyone's eyes*
Frodo: *completely ignores Morvis and deepens the kiss*
Zea: *bashes him over the head with a cactus* He said that's ENOUGH!
From: Md0n ()
lol! here r some dares u could use:
1.) dare Gandalf to try and shoot someone with an AK-47
2.) dare Eldarion to ask his parents where babies come from (his parents r
Aragorn & Arwen)
3.) dare Elboron to go into his parent's room at night claiming he had a bad
dream (his parents r Eowyn & Faramir)
thnx (;
Zea: *revives Gandalf and gives him her AK-47* Go wild.
Gandalf: *takes careful aim at Saruman and kills himself because he was holding it backwards*
Eldarion: Mommy, where do babies come from?
Arwen: *tosses Legolas off a cliff, naked and bleeding* Bitch.
Aragorn: Mommy's busy, so I guess I'll tell you. *leads Eldarion into a closed room*
-46 minutes later-
Eldarion: *comes out* Whoooooaa
Elboron: *runs into his parents room* I HAD A BAD DREAM!
Eowyn & Faramir: *get up and throw off their disguises, revealing themselves to be Nazgul* Haha, we have you now!
Elboron: *grabs a sword and goes apeshit on the Nazgul*
Zea: Wow... violent kid.
Morvis: Hmmm... I wonder...
Zea: What?
Morvis: Just thinking to myself. I think I'm going to call it a day. Thank you SO MUCH for coming. It was awesome having you here.
Zea: I had fun. Maybe I'll do it again sometime.
Morvis: That'd be cool. Bye!
A/N: Well that was fun! And my fanfiction hero COHOSTED! OMG!
CELEBRITY GUEST STARS FTW!
And send in lots more dares!
