~ chapter 15 ~

I left a small sample of my blood on his nightstand. That was almost two days ago. We have not spoken to each other since he demanded the sample from me. We pass each other on the hallway, I sit silently through his lecture, we avoid each other. But today all this has to end because we are running out of time and we have to perform our duty as husband and wife. Has he forgotten?

I groan, hoping this day would already be over.

"So, just one more week," Ginny says to me, "Have you decided where you'll be spending the holidays?"

It's dinner time and everybody is gathered in the great hall, chatting and eating.

Everyone besides me.

"I don't know," I admit, "The holidays are not what they used to be."

"Don't you miss your parents? Perhaps you can spend it with them?"

I tense up, forcing a smile, "Maybe. I just...don't have the time to think about that with all this school work and everything."

"Um, Hermione, don't take this the wrong way, but...you're not trying as hard as you used to and I've noticed your grades have...dropped."

I taka a sip of orange juice to buy some time as I think of an answer.

Ginny continues, "And if you have some problems, you know you can talk to me, right?"

I nod, "Snape is just...getting on my last nerve, that is all."

The redhead laughs and looks down, suddenly very interested by what's on her plate, "Yes, I'll take your word on that one."

And that is all it takes.

I just mention Snape or my relationship with him and everybody goes quiet and distant.

I think I will start using that more often.

ooo

Three more hours untill midnight.

Snape has me seated in our living room while he stands above me, staring at me with that unreadable expression of his.

This is the first contact we have had in two days. He did not even pick on me in class like he always does.

"We need to have a talk," he finally says.

I almost roll my eyes, "I know, you said that in the note you left on my bed."

He nods, then finally starts, "I have done a few tests on your blood."

I sit up straight. There are many things, questions on my mind, but the only word that makes its way out of my mouth is, "Why?"

"I needed to make sure - "

"That I'm not lying?" I cut him off.

"No," he replies, "Of course not."

I cross my arms over my chest, "Then what?"

"I needed to see it for myself. I did notice an abnormal increase of immature white blood cells and - "

I stand up, interrupting him, "Why are you telling me this? I already know everything about it, I've heard it many, many times, by many different people. Doctors, specialists and I'm sick of it. I do not need to hear it from a Potions Master as well."

His face turns cold, "Stop acting like an immature child."

"Stop calling me that."

I can see his jaw tighten, but when he speaks his voice is calm, "I only wished to inform you that I will be running a few more tests. And be prepared if I demand a few other samples from you."

"Why?"

"To get as much information as I can about your condition."

"That is not necessary," I reply.

"There were a few abnormalities that I wish to look further into."

I look up at him, "What...what kind of abnormalities?"

"I am not sure yet. There are a few things that I need to check first."

Splendid. Like leukemia is not enough. What else do I have?

I short laugh escapes me, but I quickly pull myself together.

"Is that all?" I ask, knowing what follows.

He looks uncomfortable, "That is all."

But I have to be mature about it, "So...I'll just wait for you in your bedroom?"

He only nods, looking away.

ooo

It's my first week back at Hogwarts.

Nobody knows about my disease or my plan to marry Professor Snape.

At least, not yet.

Everyone is looking at me, whispering things about me.

Mostly nice things, like war heroine, brave girl, the best part of the Golden Trio.

I imagine that is all going to change soon.

But how to marry a man who won't even look at you?

He hates me. He really hates me. He hates the fact that I have saved his life without asking for his opinion.

I have yet to inform him of my plan and that terrifies me. His reaction...he will probably hex me when I finally ask him.

There were many times I tried to get in contact with him, but it was all pointless. When I try to talk to him after class, he simply disappears into his dungeons. When I try to stop him in the hallway, I lose him in the crowd.

It is impossible to get him to speak to me.

And now I've decided.

I need to do something that would catch his attention. Something that would force him to turn his attention towards me, look at me and speak to me.

Is that too much to ask?

I know exactly when to do it.

Now, during his Potions class.

We have to make a simple potion. I think I could do it in my sleep.

But today, I am going to make a mistake.

On purpose, of course.

I pretend to read the textbook, waiting for the right moment. I know Madam Pomfrey is not at Hogwarts and he will not be able to simply sent me to infirmary.

I observe him as he makes his way around the classroom, commenting on the potions.

And then I do it.

I drop an ice pop into the potion and it suddenly explodes.

A few students scream and they all start panicking because of the smoke.

"Calm down," I hear Snape's voice, "Silence!"

I can see him make his way towards me.

"Miss Granger," he is angry.

I start blinking, "M-My eyes, they hurt, Sir. I'm really sorry, I don't know what happened!"

"Class dismissed," he roars and the students do not need to be told twice. In less then ten second they are all gone.

And we are left alone in his classroom.

Just what I wanted.

He waves his wand, making the smoke disappear, then points at the chair, "Sit."

I obey.

He stands above me, inspecting me with his eyes. Suddenly I become nervous. I am still not used to lying and especially to him. I have always had a feeling he could see straight through everybody.

"There is nothing wrong with your eyes," he finally speaks, leaning away from me.

I could insist that they hurt and burn.

But I decide to be honest, "You're right."

Silence.

What if he gets me expelled because of this?

"Miss Granger," he speaks, "Why was this necessary?"

"I.."

"And do not expect me to believe it was an accident. I know you. Making a mistake with a simple potion is not like you."

I nod, "I needed to speak to you, Sir."

He lets out an annoyed sigh, "And you decided blowing up my classroom is the best way to get me to speak to you?"

"Yes," I force out, ignoring how stupid that sounds, "You've been avoiding me. Ever since that day at the St. Mungo's."

"Yes, that is correct."

That catches me off guard. I did not expect him to admit it.

"I, well," I don't know what to say now.

"You have five seconds and then I am going to ask you to leave."

I clear my throat, "I don't understand why you are angry. I wanted to help and I-I don't think it's fair how you are treating me."

He simply raises a brow, "You do not think it's fair?"

"No."

He smirks, "Well, Miss Granger, I am not going to repeat this ever again so listen closely. It was not fair when you decided to play the little hero. It was not fair that you took my life into your hands."

"But I saved you!"

"What did you expect? An applause? Should I bow before you? Get on my knees?"

I hug myself with my arms, "You are being mean."

"I am sorry," he mocks.

"Stop it."

"I am being honest," he says, "You wanted to know what my opinion of you is."

"No - "

"I think you are incredibly egotistical, selfish, needy of attention and appraisal. And it bothers you that you are not getting that from me. That is why you spend most of your time following me around, stalking me."

"I'm not stalking you. I just want - "

"My gratitude? Thank you very much for saving my life, Miss Granger, now, please, do get out."

I am shocked.

I thought his reaction at the hospital was because of the shock. I thought, given some time, he would get over it and be able to see the bigger picture. But I was wrong. He truly hates me for saving him.

I am speechless.

"Leave," he orders, "And your little explosion show just earned you a detention. With Filch."

There is nothing I can say. He is like a stone wall. No matter what I do or say, I can't get through to him.

Defeated, I turn and leave.

ooo

I lay on his bed, looking up and thinking.

I know this is shallow of me, especially with everything that is happening, but I can't help but wonder about sex. Is this all it is to it? Just a few minutes of bodies moving against each other? I don't know why are people so fascinated by it then?

I can hear him enter the room and I sit up, facing him.

He does not move.

I wait.

Silence.

And then it gets uncomfortable.

He's stalling.

Perhaps...

"It's not contagious, if that's what you're thinking," I speak, "You can't get sick by touching me or anything like that."

"What...are you talking about?"

"About you, standing there like...like you would not touch me with a stick."

His face darkens, "How little you think of me."

"I'm sorry - "

"Stop apologizing."

"Then why are you standing there, looking at me like that?"

He takes a step forward and I notice he is holding a small potion vial in his left hand.

My eyes meet his, "What is that?"

"Do you..." he starts, "How does..."

I raise my eyebrows in interest. This is the first time I've seen him lost for words.

Finally he asks the question, "Do you feel any pain or discomfort during our encounters?"

"Why do you ask?" I look at the potion in his hand, "What is that?"

"It is a numbing potion. It targets the specific area and it can make sure you do not feel a thing."

"I...I won't feel anything?"

He simply nods.

"Nothing at all? If I close my eyes...it would feel like nothing is happening?"

"That is correct."

Silence.

No.

No.

I slowly get up from the bed, "Why are you doing this?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"This is exactly what I feared would happen," I shake my head, "You are doing this because you know that I'm sick."

"Granger - "

"You feel pity for me. Poor little Hermione, she's dying, so why not make things easier for her while she's still alive?"

He is silent.

"This is the last thing I want from you. From anybody. Pity. I thought you understood that."

I expect him to fight me, to try and prove I'm wrong, but he does nothing like that. He simply puts the potion vial in his pocket and nods, "As you wish."

At first I simply stare at him strangely, but then a weak smile forms on my lips.

Thank you.

Not saying anything, I lay down on his bed again.

And it happens as usual.

We do not say a word.

He simply gets on top of me, supporting his weight on his shoulders, our bodies touching as little as possible. He moves slowly this time, I can see he is acting differently, but decide not to say anything.

Usually he has his eyes closed, but tonight he keeps looking at me. Every few seconds he looks down at me, inspecting my face. I try to keep as neutral expression as possible.

Tonight is different.

It takes longer as well. I don't know why. Should I ask?

No.

Probably not a good idea.

I always find it interesting the way he breathes and how he silently gasps right near the end also biting his lower lip in the process. I like to see this side of him. When he is not completely in control. With him, the controling and cold man that he is, it's very rare.

He rolls over to the side and I lay there. I need a moment to pull myself together.

Just a minute or two and then I'll leave.

ooo

I open my eyes slowly, groaning at the coldness in the room.

Why is it so cold?

I pull the covers over my head, then realize something.

My covers are not green.

I quickly sit up.

It's his bedroom.

Why am I still in his bedroom?

What time is it?

Looking around, I notice I'm alone. He has already left.

I must be dreaming.

He allowed me to sleep in his bed?

Why hasn't he thrown me out or levitated me to my room?

We...spent a night together in one bed.

In his bed.

Together.

Sleeping next to each other.

It sounds strange.

Getting up, I make my way to his bathroom to use the toilet.

Why is he acting like that?

He knows I hate pity.

After washing my hands, I look at my reflection in the mirror.

What am I going to do?

Christmas holidays are coming.

Wait.

December.

Christmas.

Suddenly I feel as if someone threw a bucket of cold water over me.

My period.

It's not just late.

I don't even remember the last time I had it.

I can feel my throat closing up and I have to grab sink for balance.

Calm down, Hermione.

You are sick. You have a serious disease. It's normal that your body acts differently.

I keep repeating that in my head.

But it's not helping.

What if...?

No, it can't be.

Oh God.

I'm terrified.

A/N: Thanks so much for your support! I hope you can see the progress in their relationship. Next chapter: Ron causes trouble again. ;)