Warnings for puns, fourth-wall smashing, and innuendos.
Also, I'm convinced Weiss is a tsundere. That is all.
.InsertRandomIrrelevantComment.
Blake Belladonna observed silently as the energetic blonde girl known as Yang Xiao Long pushed all but one bed into the corner of their dorm room. This young lady had woken them up at six in the morning to do just this, but for what none of them could understand. A good while into this seemingly random act, Yang stared at the beds she had crammed into one corner of the room, and then to the one bed in the other corner by itself.
Perhaps Yang was a violent sleeper, or she just wanted her space and was selfish. Blake wasn't comfortable with having to share a close space with these people, so she claimed the bed on the outside of the cluster and attempted to push it a bit away from the next bed over. As long as she had room to put her books and other belongings somewhere, Blake didn't have many problems with this strange arrangement. The same couldn't be said about her other roommates, however.
Weiss's fists were balled up in anger and her face was turning a bright shade of red. "Why are all the beds in the corner?" she exclaimed at last, her frustration the result of having been woken up early in the morning coupled with her new teammate's insane behavior. "Don't tell me you need that much room to sleep."
She placed her hands on her hips, tapping her foot impatiently for an answer that Yang didn't give her. Yang was too busy looking over the placement of the furniture, muttering to herself as she further isolated the lone bed.
Genuinely curious now, Blake decided to speak up. "Do you have a history of sleep walking?" she asked, while hoping this was the answer. Because honestly, she couldn't think of any other logical reason why her teammate would be doing this to them. Also, it was early and she couldn't think of a better explanation with her sleep-deprived brain.
Not only had she gone to bed far too late and woken up far too early, but throughout the night Professor Ozpin could be heard shouting (something about his barricade going missing) while Glynda told him to be quiet until he gave up around two in the morning, presumably only because Glynda got fed up and knocked him out. Blake hadn't gotten much sleep at all, and wasn't even in the mood to speculate over something that was probably trivial. At any moment, Yang would say "yes, I sleep walk and snore violently" or something along those lines.
At last, the fiery young woman spoke. "That isn't my bed," she informed them.
Yang's younger sister immediately went pale in the face. She covered her mouth with her hands at this revelation, and slowly backed away towards the door. "Oh no," she whispered with increasing dread, "Yang, please don't tell me you're going to do this to me again…"
Again? Blake frowned and looked between the sisters. She wondered what "this" was, to make Ruby resort to using Weiss as a human shield. She also wanted to know why Yang was taking out construction materials from her suitcase...
"Sorry little sis, but I promised the family I would make sure that no one tried to sleep with you while you were away from home," Yang apologized, taking out makeshift wooden planks and setting them against the wall to stand.
"Yang!" Ruby complained, covering her face with her hands in embarrassment.
Weiss rolled her eyes. "Well you don't have to worry about us hooking up with your sister," she told Yang, "It's not like I like her or anything."
And suddenly Yang was at Weiss's throat with a saw. "Don't you dare try to get in my little sister's stockings!" she hissed, her lavender eyes now glowing red as her entire body set on fire, "I know what you're up to, miss Frosted Flakes. I've seen the way you look at her."
Weiss was speechless.
"That wasn't me being a tsundere!" she shrieked, her shock now returning to anger as Yang moved away from her. "What the heck is wrong with you?"
Blake folded her arms and made sure she was safe before talking to Yang, who was still on fire. "Where did you get the wood?" she questioned, pointing at the planks where they were set out against the wall. It looked as if most of them had been part of a door- a doorknob was still attached on one of the parts- and already used by someone else. Blake was willing to bet that Yang had stolen those from someone when she returned to Beacon to help out team BEAN. "Did you actually plan this out?"
Yang said nothing as she retrieved the wooden planks and took them over to Ruby's isolated bed, likely about to build a barrier around it to keep them out. The stack was almost set on fire, but Yang dropped it like someone was about to make a reference regarding the temperature of the aforementioned objects.
Ashamed of her sister, Ruby quickly got changed into the school uniform (with Yang shouting at everyone not to look at her sister naked), and excused herself from the room. "I'm going to the cafeteria for breakfast," she claimed, heading out the door, "'Kay thanks bye."
Weiss followed after their team leader as she didn't want to receive another death threat from the ship-wrecker.
"F***!" Yang swore, and set down the construction materials as she rushed into the hallway to shout after them. "Ruby, no!" she screamed. This caused the other team across the hall to open the door and look out at them. "Weiss is just trying to get into your pants!"
Ruby and Weiss only walked down the hallway at a faster rate. They didn't respond to Yang's shouting, exiting the scene together while ignoring the words the blonde- still on fire- was directing towards them.
"And if you think that's bullcrap, half of the fandom agrees with me!" Yang finished, out of breath (and fire) as her sister and Weiss disappeared. Team BEAN slowly retreated back into their room, terrified of the girl who was screaming complete nonsense.
Yang didn't bother closing the door. She shook her head as she returned to building a wooden box around her sister's sleeping area. At that moment, Blake noticed that each of the planks had been scribbled on with sharpie marker, repeatedly stating "NO BOYZ OR GURLS OR TENTACLE MONSTERS ALLOWED."
"… You're really worried about your sister," Blake commented awkwardly. She wasn't sure what to think of this situation, but what was happening here definitely wasn't appropriate.
"Of course I am," Yang huffed. She continued putting the barricade up as she spoke. "I don't know why, but these strangers called 'RWBY fans' have been pairing my little sis with other people ever since something called the 'Red Trailer.' The fans of this RWBY show are really determined to put her in a ship with people I don't care for, and it isn't just Ruby either!"
Blake wasn't following this at all. "Oh?…"
Sensing knew that Blake had no clue what she was talking about, Yang explained as she constructed. "Apparently this show RWBY is about us. About Ruby, Frosted Flakes, you, and me. In that order," she said. "I feel like we're being stalked."
With those sentences, Blake Belladonna realized that she did not understand anything anymore, and that no amount of exposition would ever clarify her confusion.
Yang began to hammer harder. "And as if it weren't bad enough, the people that watch this show have been pairing us off left and right. Some of the ships don't even make sense! Like, there was this one about RubyxCookie I think? I don't know, but it was a really weird idea now that I think about it…"
"WAIT!" Blake stopped Yang. "What's this about the RWBY show you mentioned?"
To explain without actually having to talk, thus saving a large amount of time she could use being more productive, Yang took out her phone and used the YouTube application. She handed the phone over to Blake as she pulled up a video for her to watch.
"Okay look, it's been posted on YouTube and there's only about a season so far, but it's actually pretty good," she told her. "The episodes aren't that long, like Hetalia and Bravest Warriors. So it's easy to get involved in the fandom."
As Blake watched the Red trailer, she asked, "Who thought up all of this stuff? It seems pretty cool."
Yang grinned. "It was created by some guy named Monty O-" she abruptly stopped. "OH MY GOD! I forgot!" she dropped her construction tools, getting up from where she was kneeling on the floor. "I was supposed to meet with someone today. What time is it?"
Glancing at the time on Yang's phone, she answered reassuringly, "Class begins in two hours. You have time to do what you need to do."
"Okay good," Yang sighed in relief. She went over to another suitcase, opening it and taking out… a bag of coffee beans? "I'm supposed to give this to my- uh- friend," she quickly lied when she saw Blake's questioning expression.
"… I thought there was no coffee left," Blake said, stopping the trailer halfway through.
"Uhh," Yang broke eye contact.
"You stole it, didn't you," she accused. But she didn't really care whether she had or hadn't. As long as Yang didn't do something insane like explode the school, she would let this pass.
Seeing as how there weren't many other options, Yang admitted, "Okay, yeah, I stole it from the headmaster a while ago." She reestablished eye contact, seemingly at ease knowing that Blake wasn't about to run off and tell everyone. "I thought that since I was going to meet these people anyways that I may as well mess with everyone. And also, I wanted to make some cash off of Ozpin's coffee stash."
Blake was surprisingly okay with her teammate trolling everyone. "So this show, RWBY… it's about us, and the stuff we're going to do?"
Yang nodded. "Well, yeah. There's also a wikia devoted to it; there's some neat stuff on there. But there's also a lot of shipping, and you know how I am around Ruby."
"You really don't like shipping." She wondered if that was why the airship had sunk before initiation. Had Yang been uncomfortable with any of those possibilities coming true?
"I dislike it most of the time," Yang corrected her.
"Most of the time?" It felt as if this madwoman hated romantic pairings entirely, but whatever. Blake wasn't judging. She did understand the problem that Yang had with watching her little sister being put together with other people, though. Yang was probably very attached to Ruby even if she wouldn't say it out loud.
"Well, okay," Yang sighed. "I like some of the pairings, but I won't say which ones."
Blake nodded, not pressing for the pairing preference. Heterosexual, girl on girl or boy on boy, she didn't mind any of these types. "Fair enough," she said. "You have your ships and I have mine as well." She went back to watching the RWBY trailers on Yang's phone, sitting down on her new bed as she made herself comfortable. "Have fun with… selling the stolen goods, I guess."
"Oh, I will," Yang promised.
A thought then occurred to Blake as Yang headed out the door.
"Hey, you're not lacing those with drugs, are you?" Blake called out. "I hope you're not putting any drugs or other chemical elements in those things…"
A smile crept across Yang's face from cheek to cheek. Blake felt that she was going to regret asking that question when she saw the troll face come up.
"Well, I normally don't use those sorts of dirty tricks…" Yang trailed off. "But if I were to add an element to this coffee-"
Don't you dare, don't you dare-
"-it would probably be…" Yang's troll face got wider.
"…"
"…."
"Oh my god say it already!" Blake snapped.
Yang decided to build up more suspense. "…It would be..."
Blake glared.
"RWBYdium!" Yang cheered, having set loose another bad pun into the world.
Nearby, a drum set produced a noise that sounded much like a "badum tsss."
"Get out of here," Blake pointed at the door.
"I guess this is my PUNishment for telling bad jokes," Yang winked.
Blake's expression clearly read gtfo.
"Make sure you keep that coffee away from the headmaster," Blake remembered to warn Yang as she exited. "He can probably smell it a mile away."
"I know, I'll be careful," Yang said and closed the door behind her.
-At The Cafeteria-
Ozpin didn't like being blocked by doors.
He didn't like doors at all, actually. They were useless, even when reduced to strips of wood that were capable of boarding up his office's windows. Because it turned out that these makeshift planks couldn't even do that, because when he returned to his office after his stealing spree ended, he found that all of the planks were gone.
He had already been in a bad mood because someone (no names here) went on a witch hunt and chased him half across the globe. Long story short, he was forced to return the coffee when he was captured by the authorities and bailed out by his employee. Then he was returned to Vale after being banned from those areas forever. He had no regrets.
Not only was he forbidden from returning to those areas, but at home, he was also prohibited from having anymore coffee for the next five months. As his employees told him: "You need to stop drinking" to which he responded "I can stop any time I want!" and was promptly hit on the head by Glynda as the rest of his employees took whatever coffee was left and secured it behind a giant safe in the kitchen that he couldn't get past.
Yes, Professor Ozpin did not like doors at all. Doors were useless and had no place in his academy! All doors could go to hell for all he cared.
As he thought this with narrowed eyes, coincidentally glaring at the very safe in which his precious coffee was being held, Glynda told him to get away from the safe. Ozpin took only one step back, empty mug in hand and walking cane in the other.
"This coffee tastes strange," Glynda muttered, setting her own mug down on a nearby table.
Ozpin eyed the drink enviously. He put on his best puppy dog look in hopes that he would be allowed just a little of the coffee pot, but Glynda refused to look at him. He dropped the face and made a mental note to get his revenge at a later date.
If it came down to it, he was willing to use lethal force to get his caffeine. At this rate, with Glynda watching him like a hawk, he was probably going to have to.
"Hey Glynda, I think Cardin Winchester is giving some nerd a wedgie over there!" Ozpin pointed past the food line from where they stood in the pantry. "You should go help the poor student; I don't think I can walk over there fast enough," he gestured towards his cane, assuming the posture of an old man. "Too bad I'm aging."
Glynda sighed and went go help the student. Ozpin was suddenly grateful that Cardin could be found doing such a thing at any given point in time. It made his goal easier to reach.
Ozpin wondered how exactly he was going to get inside the safe. Should he use C4? Did he even have any C4?
"Just do it," Bartholomew answered his thought, mysteriously moonwalking out of sight and going behind one of the supply shelves.
"Okay," Ozpin shrugged. "But I'm going to need a bigger distraction if this is going to work."
He looked past the counter and squinted to see Glynda ordering Cardin to put down Jaune Arc, otherwise known as Black Eye. Cardin reluctantly let go of the student, and set him free. Black Eye ran back to his table, hiding behind Ms. Affogato for protection.
From the looks of things, Glynda was going to return any moment. In his panic, Ozpin picked up the first object within his reach and rushed forward, hurling the object into the crowd and quickly ducking after release to avoid detection by Glynda.
As the screaming began, he turned away to go blow up that coffee vault.
Meanwhile, at team CFFE and BEAN's table.
"Weiss Schnee, I think I'm in lesbians with you," Jaune Arc blurted after returning to his table.
Weiss, having been filing her nails, stopped and did not blink at the blond teenager sitting across the table from her. She went back to filing her nails, a clear sign that the feeling was not mutual.
Rejected, Jaune put his head down on the table to sulk. He was fortunate that at that moment, Weiss chose to reject him and allow him to put his head down, because flying straight at them was a yellow flash that normally would have hit poor Jaune Arc. However, as he put his head down, the yellow flash missed his head and instead crashed into Ruby's face, knocking the girl off of her seat and onto the floor.
"Isn't that?…" Yang watched as the yellow object stopped in its path, now falling in what she felt was slow motion towards the ground. "A banana?"
It wasn't that hard of a mystery to solve. Ruby was simply hit by a banana in the cafeteria by Professor Ozpin.
But of course the students didn't know this, because they've never played the game Clue.
"Man down!" Nora gasped.
Weiss kept filing her nails.
Yang, on the other hand, exploded.
"OH HELL NO!" she shouted, bursting into flames. She shot up from her seat, standing on top of the table as she readied Embers Celica. "Who the hell threw that innuendo-reeking abomination at my little sis?"
The cafeteria fell silent, terrified.
"Oh I see how it is," Yang then began to laugh madly. She reached down to pick up Ren's plate of pancakes, thus denying him his second helping. "If no one wants to take the blame, then you're ALL going to pay!"
With that, Yang launched the pancake plate into the air, firing at them with Embers Celica one by one to send them flying across the room and into various students' faces.
One of the many victims of this stunt was Cardin Winchester, the bully who had not yet actually done much harm but was being persecuted by his peers preemptively, causing the storyline to alter drastically. He was not paying attention when Yang had sent the pancakes flying, and was hit in the face as he texted on his iPhone like every other teenager in the room. The phone was knocked out of his hands as he fell backwards, a girl with bunny ears running up to him to shove carrots up his nostrils to add to the insult.
Cardin never saw who did this. Everything was moving too fast for him to catch onto anything, and tables were being flipped like no one even cared. But as he got back up, at the same time Jaune just so happened to raise his head to see what kind of chaos was going on. The two made eye contact, and Jaune screamed in fear for his life as Cardin assumed that Jaune had been the one to throw the pancake at him. Cardin charged forward, and again for no reason, the viewing audience witnessed this event in slow motion.
Now Cardin, with his fist weighing approximately .7 kg and accelerating at 670.5 cm/s (squared) within this short instant (1), was capable of generating an estimated 4693.5 Newtons of force per square centimeter. With his fist closing in on Jaune's face and with no time for the soon to be sucker-punched victim's reaction time to kick in, it seemed as if Jaune's jaw stood no chance. The force required to at the very least fracture a bone of a young man such as Jaune's age is calculated to be around 3000 to 5000 Newtons of force, meaning, that as Cardin's clenched hand came in contact with Jaune's face, Jaune was in for a lot of pain according to science.
Yet as the action occurred, Jaune's aura activated and he lit up like a lamp, thus deflecting the hit but painfully shattering many of the tiny bones in Cardin's hand as this impact was the equivalent of punching a concrete wall. Cardin nursed his hand as he crumpled into fetal position on the floor, rocking back and forth as he shouted bloody murder.
"Bloody murder!" he shouted dramatically, "bloody-"
A familiar spear suddenly hit the ground beside his head. Nearby, Pyrrha hid behind one of the various flipped-over tables throughout the cafeteria, peeking around the corner to see if her weapon had met its target. Her disappointment was evident as her hopeful expression instantly turned sour, whereas the bully- who hadn't even had the chance to properly troll anyone yet- screamed in terror, his indigo eyes widening in fear as he scrambled to get up and escape by using the emergency exit.
His team members felt little pity for him, too immersed in the ongoing food battle to care. Brussel Sprouts did decide to avenge his leader's humiliation, and snuck up on Jaune with a large fruit in his hands.
"I hope you like melons, loser!" Brussel shouted.
As Jaune turned around at the sound of Brussel Sprout's voice, a large watermelon came crashing down on his head. Jaune fell to his knees in a daze and Pyrrha looked on in shock as he muttered in his delusion about how, instead of seeing stars, he was seeing melons.
"No one likes veggies!" Nora attempted to get back at Brussel for his actions, hamburger in hand as she stuffed the food down his throat. "Have some meat, veggie-head!"
"Nora, stop," Ren shouted, trying to calm down his energetic friend before she could kill the not-yet bully. The most he had done was laugh at people and smash a fruit on Jaune's head because, to be fair, Jaune caused Cardin to break his hand. But it wasn't really that fair because Cardin had accused Jaune of hitting him with a pancake when he didn't even have any evidence to back up his claim.
Ren wasn't so sure if he should stop Nora anymore. Now that he thought about it, those guys really were jerks. But then again, he didn't want Nora to be put on trial for murder because she was a really good friend of his. He didn't want her to end up in jail. Was this another one of her attempts to steal the spotlight? Because it wasn't worth it if it was.
"NORA, STOP!" he shouted, accidentally tripping Yang as he flailed his arms like flagellum. "You're going to be arrested for that."
Nora shrugged. "Hm. Would you visit me in prison if I brushed Brussel Sprouts off the plate anyways?"
"Even if you do end up in jail, you know I would visit you every day," Ren was about ready to face palm. Brussel was trying to unsuccessfully swallow the fast food behind her and she didn't even notice. He didn't want to think of what would happen if he had let her break Cardin's legs. "But I would rather be with you all the time," he told her honestly. "So can you please put the man with the strange lime green mohawk down?"
"Okay!" Nora giggled, and released Brussel Sprouts. To help him out, she punched him in the stomach and the hamburger went flying out of his mouth.
The hamburger landed on the floor next to a burning table. Ren realized that as he had been preoccupied with Nora, that when he tripped Yang she must have still been on fire. Glancing around, he saw that the entire room had been engulfed in flames, all because his arm got in the way of fire-girl.
"… We should probably evacuate," Nora said after a while.
Ren nodded in agreement. He didn't even know if he wanted to go to school here anymore if this was what the everyday life was like. Was it too late to transfer?
Before he and Nora could exit the building, there was an explosion from within the kitchen. The sound woke up Ruby from unconsciousness, and the girl finally got back up only to see her school burning down around her.
"How did she not get hurt this entire time?" Ren questioned out loud.
His question was answered when he saw Jaune in lamp-mode, having recovered from his melon injury. He was sitting at the table close to Ruby, making sure that she wasn't killed off in the madness that had originally been a food fight.
"My head hurts," Ruby groaned as she got up from the floor.
Curiously, Jaune couldn't help but ask: "Did you see fruits when you were knocked out, too?"
Ruby didn't understand this. "What?"
Jaune tried again. "When you were hit by the banana," he reminded her. "Did you see fruit floating around your head in circles?"
"My god," Yang interrupted, having overheard the inquiry, "Jaune, stop flirting with my little sister! Didn't you know that three out of ten teenagers get pregnant at least once before the age of twenty?! My family told me not to let her become a statistic and people like you and Weiss are making my job impossible!"
"Wha-"
Jaune was cut off but this time he managed to dodge Yang's punch.
"Woah, you need to go to anger management, lady!" he shouted as the blonde attempted to ward him away. "I was just asking Ruby if the same thing happened to her."
"…" Yang glared, but calmed down. "FINE," she growled, and stormed away.
Ren chose this time to bring himself into the conversation. "So," he drawled, "what was that explosion?…"
Ruby blinked. "I think that's what woke me up," she said. "Let's go check it out."
The group travelled over to the counter separating the cafeteria from the kitchen and entered the employee-only area. Behind them, Pyrrha was trying to assassinate Cardin and Yang was setting everything on fire, while Weiss filed her nails because she didn't care. Blake was no where to be seen, but they assumed that she turned ninja and was blending in with the environment somewhere. Everyone else of teams CFFE and BEAN were present as they investigated the source of the explosion.
Normal people would run away from an explosion and refrain from approaching until they deemed the scene safe. However as logic escaped these youngsters, they walked towards the cause right away.
They found their headmaster inside a large vault, robbing the pantry of all its coffee. Not knowing if they should stop him (and risk getting expelled) they shared a look as they wondered what they should do.
Thankfully, Glynda Goodwitch returned.
"That's it, Ozpin, YOU REALLY NEED TO PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER!" she roared at her employer. Then she turned her frightening expression to the students present. "As for you four!" she narrowed her green eyes, and then glanced at Ozpin, who had been caught red-handed. "Make sure he doesn't escape. I need to have a talk with Bartholomew about his recent behavior and how he's being a terrible influence on the headmaster. Assuming I am able to catch Bartholomew, that is."
"But I'm not Ozpin," Ozpin tried, "My name is Roman To-"
Glynda flung her coffee mug from earlier at him, the force sending him to the ground.
"The Roman Empire has fallen," Ozpin cried from where he laid "helpless" on the floor. "And it cannot get up! But does it have Life Alert?" (2)
"SHUT UP!" Glynda shouted. "Sir, I've had enough of your nonsense! I understand that you need your coffee, but this is getting out of control," she told him. "I'm going to have to send you to a rehabilitation center at this rate."
"That's not going to work," Ren voiced his opinion.
Glynda didn't care. "Then I'll send him to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting. And teams RWBY and JNPR will go with him," she stated, "seeing as how your teams have not only a blood thirsty woman with a spear," she pointed at Pyrrha, "but also a kleptomaniac who is also a pyromaniac, an overly-energetic and possibly demonically-possesed ginger, a tsundere in complete denial about her status, and a ninja who is most likely a terrorist."
"What?" Ozpin frowned. "They're teams CFFE and BEAN. And you've got it all wrong, Glynda. They're good kids, I swear."
Glynda grit her teeth, shaking her head as if telling herself it wasn't worth blowing up the school because of one man.
"Tomorrow," she told what was left of teams 'RWBY' and 'JNPR,' "you will be attending a nearby Narcotics Anonymous meeting with the headmaster. Bring your absent team members with you. In the meantime, evacuate the school while I go after Bartholomew."
Reluctantly, the four students escorted old man Ozpin out of the building, convincing their fellow teammates to stop what they were doing and leave the building before they all died inside.
It took a while, but eventually every student was safe outside of Beacon Academy. When the fire died down, it was night time. The moon was broken, the stars weren't shining because of light pollution, but Uranus was visible for the entire world to see, causing so many levels of incomprehensible discomfort amongst the inhabitants of Vale for reasons that weren't clear.
And by the time the sun rose again in the morning, Glynda Goodwitch gave up on hunting down Bartholomew. She decided that it just wasn't worth the effort, and settled for sending teams RWBY and JNPR to the Narcotics Anonymous meeting along with Headmaster Ozpin. She hoped that their experience would change them for the better, and as result make her job a little easier.
She doubted that it would make much of a difference, though.
.TheseAuthorNotesBetterBeAmusingIfYou'reStillReadi ngThis.
(1) Fun fact: The fastest martial arts punch is 44 mph (70.8 km/h) and was achieved by Keith Liddell (USA), at the Body Tac Karate Dojo in Chicago, Illinois, USA, on 6 October 2012. Yeah, I don't think this guy is human either. Probably an android.
(2) No wonder the Roman Empire collapsed.
Let me know if there is anything I can do to improve reading experience be it by review or PM :3 I'm always grateful when I'm able to improve my writing quality, because then it becomes a lot more fun and challenging to write. Even if no one reads my work, or my work isn't as popular as the other stories in the fandoms I contribute to, I don't care because I'm able to take pride in what I've done the moment I am told "you made me laugh." So let me know if I'm able to do that this time around and we'll sit down, have some warm tea or coffee because it's cold but then tomorrow it will be hot because of global warming so if you want to sit down tomorrow we'll make some sort of arrangement. Not a floral arrangement because the "cold" already killed the plants.
...
Did I mention I hate the weather lately? Because I do. It's true. My lips are blue. You have no clue. My mind just blew. It flew. Into. A queue. To buy a warmer shoe. But it had a flu, so in that queue, it had some hot stew. But because rhyming this much was taboo, it performed kung fu. On me, not you. And so from the ground I withdrew, into the sky shouting "PCHOOOO!" all the way to Timbuktu. Or maybe it was Peru. Wherever I went I'll just have to make do, and say "thank you" if you review.
Next chapter: I'm pretty sure there's something in that coffee. Something that makes everyone go crazy. Meh, it's probably just the water- you never know what's in it. And where the exactly is the plot? Did it turn invisible? Is it buried under layers and layers of crack? Or was it never there to begin with? Perhaps I'm just wasting your time and none of this will actually be on the next page.