A/N: I was trying to write chapter 6 of ALS, really I was. But the angst just wasn't coming. So I gave in, called up "Yakety Sax" on YouTube, and decided to give the anguished Addams-Beinecke couple a break.
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"What's he doing?"

"Mmf- who?"

"Your father. What's he doing in there?"

"I don't know; I'm not his keeper. That's Mother's job. Now shut up and kiss me."

"No, Di, I'm serious. Look at him!"

"…I just see my father. What are you talking about?"

"The unicycle."

"What uni- oh. That unicycle."

"And the Russian hat."

"He's had that for years, Lucas."

"But why is he wearing it now?"

"Do you know the reasons behind all the crazy things your parents do? Let me know if he gets a vuvuzela; then I'll be worried."

"You mean like that vuvuzela?"

"Oh, no."

"Is- is that supposed to be 'Don't Cry For Me, Argentina?' Or am I hearing wrong?"

"No, you're hearing exactly right. Why do they have to do this now?"

"They?"

"If Mother doesn't come in wearing the Marilyn wig, we're safe."

"What about a Viking helmet?"

"Instead of the wig?"

"Well…more like on top of the wig."

"The wig and the helmet."

"Yes."

"Hey, guys. Is the apocalypse coming? Because you two actually stopped trying to eat each other's faces for five minutes."

"Pugsley, so help me, if you don't go away right now-"

"Oh look, Mother and Father are doing The Dance!"

"Yes, we've noticed. Now could you please leave?"

"Let him talk, Wednesday. What's The Dance?"

"Well, whenever Father's feeling particularly frisky, he gets on the unicycle with the Russian hat…"

"I can't believe this is happening."

"…and then Mother brings in the yak dressed like Richard Nixon…"

"Wait, while swinging from the chandelier?"

"And juggling the complete discography of Justin Bieber, yep."

"I don't ask for much in life. Just please let lightning strike me where I stand. Or the whole house; I'm not picky."

"It ends with Father holding mother over his shoulder and reciting haiku while she scratches his back with the tubular thing that makes duck noises."

"Make that a meteor."

"And then they kiss."

"Wow. The ending sounds kind of anti-climactic after that whole production."

"Not the way they do it."

Unable to bear it anymore, Wednesday broke out of her fiancé's arms and ran from the room, stomping upstairs and slamming her bedroom door behind her.

Lucas shot Pugsley a confused look.

"And how long have your parents had this routine worked out?"

"Since Wednesday got old enough to date."