A/N: Once upon a weekend dreary/As I pondered, weak and weary/Over many a quaint and curious soundtrack of Tony-nominated-but-rudely-snubbed lore…I began to wonder what would have happened if Wednesday had drunk the acrimonium. And thus, this little snippet was born. I don't own any of the characters, blah, blah, blah.
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Wednesday took the rusty, dented silver chalice from her mother, raised it to her lips, and drank.
For a moment, she stood silently with a strange expression on her face. The young woman looked a bit nauseous, and her parents exchanged a concerned glance.
"Wednesday…?" Lucas said slowly.
Morticia half-rose from her seat. "My dear, is something wrong?"
Another moment of silence. Then the oldest Addams child's face broke into a near-beatific smile.
"No, Mother, everything's just scrumptious!"
A gasp rose from the assembled company; Pugsley's mouth dropped open. This wasn't part of the plan.
Still beaming, Wednesday bent down and flung her arms around Lucas' neck. "In fact," she crowed, "things are extra scrumptious today, because this sweet, darling, wonderful boy and I are getting married!"
As general pandemonium erupted around the table (with a concerned Wednesday trying to get everyone to "settle down and be nice"), her brother slumped in his chair. "Why didn't it work?" he muttered to himself.
Joints creaking, Grandmamma leaned towards him and grabbed his ear between two bony fingers.
"Because 'dark' is subjective, ya little wharf rat. That'll teach you to mess with my stuff!"
"But can't you change her back?"
"I can, but I ain't gonna." The old woman sat back in her chair, lips righteously pursed. Catching sight of her grandson's horrified expression, she continued, "Keep yer shorts on; it'll wear off in a few hours. In the meantime- well, you wanted to see your sister's dark side. Enjoy it."
He glanced down the polished mahogany surface to the now-tearful Wednesday.
"W-why can't we all just get alo-o-o-ong?" she sobbed. "A w-wedding is-is-is a joyful, lovely, ha-happy event!"
Even Lucas was now staring at his fiancée with the air of one regarding an accident scene on the highway. Pugsley banged his head against the cool, wooden table.
It was going to be a very long night.