A/N: This one has a bit of required viewing if you haven't seen the Chicago version of TAFM. YouTube search "Addams Family Clandango"- it was the opening number that "When You're An Addams" replaced and is the basis for this story. I figured it was also what "confirmation" referred to in Morticia's conversation with Alice about the family photos.

I only own the chihuahua, whose name is Fifi. Poor Fifi.

"And that's Wednesday at her confirmation."

"What's that she's holding?"

"A crossbow."

"No, that other thing, with the arrow in it."

"Somebody's dog..."

-The Addams Family Musical (Broadway Version)

You don't belong here.

Of all nights, of all times and places, you should not be in my life right now. Tonight is for being certain; tonight I know exactly who I am and where my life is going. This is a private party. And yet, in the form of typed words on a tiny screen, you've managed to butt in.

Happy birthday! I love you.

My grip on the cell phone tightens. Its little cursor blinks in the "reply" box, taunting me. But what can I say? That, just for one night, I wanted to forget you existed?

The wind shifts for a moment, and faint sounds of laughter reach me from the cemetery proper. I glance over at my family, talking with a large group of semi-translucent ancestors. What began as a solemn ceremony has degenerated into a birthday party like any other, complete with a large, gray layer cake.

Minutes ago, when I blew out the eighteen candles, things couldn't have been better. Everything had gone off without a hitch; furthermore, I was an adult and no longer subject to my mother's whims (in theory). And then my damn phone had started vibrating.

Which brings us here, Lucas. To me standing under a willow tree, staring at your text message. I hate you sometimes. No, not you, not exactly. What you've done to me.

Before you, I never doubted myself. The adolescent identity crisis most children go through was something that happened to other people. My personal status quo had remained unchanged since birth, and I intended to keep it that way. There was nothing the "normal" world could offer me.

And then you abruptly proved that wrong.

The small, black device in my hand vibrates again, jolting me back to the present. It's another message from you.

Is everything okay? Am I interrupting something?

I stifle a laugh (See? Do you see what you've done to me?), and my fingers fly across the touch-screen.

Family party. I love you, too.

"Family party." Well, that's one way of putting it; I'm not sure how I'll explain this to you. Then again, do I really have to? I push back a few windblown strands of hair- and groan, remembering.

Unfortunately, yes, I will have to explain. For the first time, I wish this ritual hadn't left any physical evidence. Because you'll notice my hair, of course, since you're not blind. And then will come the awkward questions; you barging yet again into a place where you don't belong.

A place where I hope I still belong.

"Wednesday, come on! Mother and Father are waiting to cut the cake!"

At the sound of Pugsley's voice, I slip the phone back in my pocket and push away thoughts of you. Tonight, I'm going to forget about you and the disturbing way you make me feel. None of that has a place here.

I turn on my heel and walk back towards my family, the family I've just confirmed myself a part of. Tonight, they are all that matters. Tonight, you can go hang- and I can pretend the thought doesn't cause the pit of my stomach to drop nauseatingly.

With out of sight and mind, I manage to survive the night. Unfortunately, a stray chihuahua that happens to be nearby when the phone vibrates a third time is not so lucky.

A/N: This can be a prequel to the earlier chapter, "Let's Not Talk About Anything Else" if you like. Hope you enjoyed it!