Harley had drank so much soda it was a wonder that she still had teeth left, she had peed on approximetly 34 pregnancy tests sometimes she had used 4 at a time. She just really wanted to make sure and now she was real sure. "Hey Red! When dooyah think I should go home and tell Mistah J about the baby?" Ivy was in the kitchen chopping vegetables but quickly stomped into the living room where Harley was reclining on a chair. "When, how about never Harley? Do you ever learn? Remember the first time? Or how about the time after that?" Ivy was furious but Harley just crossed her arms and pouted "Last time he was real happy...then got real angry...but it was an accident! Honest he even cried after!" The Joker crying was a foreign thought to Ivy so she blanked it out, sometimes Harley was so difficult! "Just stay here, I can kick Harvey out for a while, he's barely ever here anyway..." Harley jumped out of her seat, "Wait Red, you kick you're puddin' out! I've seen you slap Harvey before too, don't be so judgy judgy of me!" Ivy was now far beyond furious so she done what was easiest to her,
"You're right Harls, but just stay the night okay? I'm just worried!", she let Harley be Harley.

Harley got the bed and fell asleep straight away, Ivy couldn't believe she was the same person as this morning. Harley was back to her delusional self and Ivy couldn't sleep at all. Instead she decided to make a plan, how to keep Harley here for 9 months? How to keep her safe for 9 months? How to keep her from running back into the Jokers arms and getting ripped apart? It was stressful being Harley's only friend but it was worth it in the end up. Plans were forming in Ivy's head but she'd have to talk to Harley about them too, after all it seemed like this time they'd be in it for the long haul.

-
This was the worst joke Harley had ever played on the Joker, he couldn't sleep he couldn't even draw up plans for fighting Batsy! He felt phisically sick, why did she not have clothes on? Where could that twit be! Joker began pacing around the room, he couldn't orchestrate just how mad he was "I swear she can't tiptoe her way outta this one! That girl, that girl, she won't even be a girl when I'm through with her!" He began to run horrible scenarios through his head that was the problem with being a psycopath you always knew what the worst situations where! But Harley was smart, well she is sometimes occasionally smart. There had to be a reason!

The Joker composed himself and walked to the nearest payphone, he didn't know why it had taken him so long to figure it out. That bitch had tried to snap up his Harley again, that explains the lack of clothes! She was kidnapped by that lesbian bitch! He thought he was clear that Harley was his toy and nobody elses, what did he have to do piss on her? Joker added a pocketfull of change to the payphone and called up Two-Face, he had the bitch's number. After a long and frankly dull conversation he had Ivy's number and he reluctantly began to dial.

-
Who calls at 4am? Sadists? Ivy rolled over from her terrible nights sleep and grabed the phone closest to her. "Hello, hello? Who is it?" Ivy bellowed down the line. She was greated with long irratic laughter. Oh fuck. "How the fuck did you get this number, was it Harv I will fucking kill him! And why are you calling me, it's 4am, did you know that? Did that register in your crazy scheming clown brain!" Ivy shifted nervously for a reply, she was scared and her plan was hardly foolproof. "I believe you have something that belongs to me, me, MINE. You have somthing of mine. Not something precious but something useful that I want back right away!" Ivy now had to hold back her rage, possesive much? Ivy was protective to Harley but she knew she didn't own her, despite wanting to sometimes. "Look Joker Harley's kinda sick and she said she didn't want to-" Oh how would Harely put it "gross out her puddin', she's staying here for a while"
Suddenly the phone disconnected. So far so good, way to go Pammy insance clown now has even more of a reason to kill you than previously.

Harley was still asleep and Ivy snuck in to check on her, why does she stay with him? She could have so much better, yet she is completely incomprehensively in love. It's sick and perverted but love and in their own way, it kinda works- Ivy slammed the thought out of her head. Don't you dare try justify them being together, you're her only friend, you save her.