Chapter 2
"GIR, I said NO!"
"EEEEEEEEEEEEHEEEHEHEEEHEHEEHEE!"
"Do you not understand the IMPORTANCE of peace and quiet?! Of course you don't!"
"YEAH! Wait a minute... No."
"You've been doing absolutely nothing but bothering me ALL DAY, GIR! I'm working on the most SERIOUS plan I have ever devised, a plan that will ensure the absolute destruction of every last human! And YOOOU..." Zim pointed angrily at his incompetent robot minion. "...are making it harder to FOCUS!" Zim was shouting at the top of his lungs, but the robot with the mind of a human child didn't seem to notice. Instead, he just pulled a puppy out of his head.
"LOOK WHAT AH FOUND! HE SMELLS REAL BAD!" GIR squealed as he presented the puppy to his master proudly, shoving it in front of Zim's face.
"AHHH! NO GIR! GET THAT AWAY FROM MEEE!" Zim yelled as he pushed both the robot and the small dog away. "That thing smells DEAD! Get rid of it! QUICKLY! Before it infects my superior skins! And stop bothering me!"
"OOOOKEEEEE DOKEEEEEE!" GIR shouted gleefully before running out of the lab with the puppy held over his head. Zim quickly closed the door once GIR was outside and locked it. The small Irken turned around and let out a sigh of relief before walking back to his computer.
"Now...back to work." He said to himself evilly as he worked on the controls and analyzed every detail carefully. "This plan WILL work...so perfectly, in fact, that I'll be rid of even the Dib-worm before he can stop me." The little green alien chuckled evilly at the thought.
"MASTAH! MASTAH!" A high pitched voice called from behind the door.
"GRRRR, WHAT THE IRK IS IT!?" Zim yelled angrily.
"MARY'S HERE!" GIR answered happily.
"EHH?..." Zim exclaimed, more than a little confused. Suddenly, a realization hit him and he became angry again. "OH! DIB!" Just then, the door to the lab was broken down. Zim immediately turned the computer off and hid his plans before whirling around to face the intruder.
"It's over, Zim! I don't know what you're planning, but I'll put a stop to it!" Dib shouted, standing tall and proud in the doorway.
"I don't know what you're blabbing about. I've been doing nothing but enjoying my day off." Zim stated.
"Irkens take days off?" Dib asked, a bit put off.
Zim's eye twitched. "YES!" He replied, his anger building.
"But, you're basically machines."
"We're more than just mere machines! You should know that by now, stupid-pig! Now if you don't mind, GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" Zim shouted, angered and annoyed by Dib's sudden and unwelcome appearance.
Suddenly, two Irken females stepped into the room to stand on either side of Dib.
"Hello, ZIM." Said the shorter of the two icily, glaring at him through deep blue eyes. "Enjoying your day off?"
"HEH? What is this? What you two doing here?! Get out! Or I'll take you out by FORCE!" Zim screamed as laser guns pop out of his PAK and threaten all three of them.
"Not likely." Jaz remarked coldly.
"COMPUTER, INTRUDER ALERT!" No sooner had Zim given the command, then the base had come alive, shooting cables and weapons out of the walls.
"DANNY! HOLD ZIM DOWN!" Jaz yelled as she uses her own weapons to fight off those that the base was throwing at them. The taller of the two females leaped at Zim, knocking him to the ground and pinning him down.
"GrrAAAH! GET OFF OF ME, YOU FEMALE!" Zim screamed as he tried to escape her strong grasp. Danny stared down at the small alien, analyzing him.
"I just noticed how incredibly tiny you are..." Zim paused upon hearing these words and looks up at her,
"HUH!?" He shouted, confused. Confusion quickly turns to anger as he shouts again. "NO ONE CALLS ME TINY!" He continued his feeble attempts to escape the female's grasp, fighting even more viciously than before, much to the amusement of the tall Irken.
"You watch him, Danny! We'll take care of the hard stuff!" Jaz said before turning to Dib and running out of the room. "Come on, Dib!"
"Right!" Dib said eagerly as he turns and follows her out.
Zim quickly stopped struggling and glared up at the female pinning him to the floor. Danny returned his glare with a smug grin.
"What are you and those two planning exactly?" Zim asked. "I DEMAND TO KNOW!"
"You're cute." Danny laughed, trying to distract him. Zim stared at her in confusion, but quickly grew angry again.
"I AM NOT CUTE! I AM ZIIIM!" He shouted at her. Suddenly, the same confused look from just seconds before reappears on his face. "Hold on." He said as he looks up at her. "You're an Irken, and you just called me CUTE."
"Yeah, so?" Danny replied indifferently.
"Irkens don't like cute things..." He stares at her before looking away, embarrassed. "This is awkward."
"Well, I'm not an ordinary Irken." Danny replied. "You know that."
"...Well, yes, I know that..."
"Then what the hell is the problem?"
"ZIM IS NOT CUTE!" Zim shouted in her face. Danny looked back down at him, annoyed. Zim looked away again, angry, but then looked back at her, a question having just arose in his mind.
"By the way, why do you think I'm cute?"
Danny merely shrugged in response.
Zim, angered again, shouted once more.
"TELL MEEEEEE!"
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes." Zim's temper had just gotten the best of him again and he shouted "I DEMAND TO KNOW!"
"Why do you even care?" Danny asked.
"BECAUSE, I need to fix whatever flaw I have so I can no longer seem cute. An invader is meant to be fierce and horrible!"
Danny just stared at him, blinking once.
"Danny, if you don't tell me, I will be forced to use force." Zim stated, losing his patience.
Danny stared down at him, assessing his situation. "Yyyyyyyeah..." She replied, not convinced.
"Oh for Irk's sake, just tell me already, before I make things ugly!" Zim warned her.
"No." Danny replied with a smirk.
"FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF—WHY NOT?!" Zim shouted.
"Because you're so cute when you're angry" Danny replied, having far too much fun for her own good.
Zim stared at her in shock which quickly turned to horror. "No...NOOOOO! I AM HORRIBLE AND TERRIFYING! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO FEAR MEEEE!"
"Well...I don't."
"FEAR MEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
"No."
Zim stared up at her angrily for a few minutes. Eventually, his expression softens and he lets out a sad sigh, dropping his head to the floor. "You suck."
"So I've been told." Danny replied
"Well, you do."
"Uh-huh."
"Stop it."
"I didn't do anything." Danny looked down on Zim, a bit confused.
"You're ANNOYING ME!" Zim shouted back.
"Oh, well, then I'm doing my job." Danny replied smugly.
"And this was my big day..." Zim sighed sadly.
"What exactly was your big plan?" Danny asked curiously.
"Oh, like I REALLY want to tell YOU!" Zim spat at her angrily.
"Tell me, or I'll call you cute again"
"Go ahead, I'm still not telling."
Danny smirked as she leaned down and put her face in his. "CUTE." She said, hoping for a reaction. Zim's eye twitched in response as he stared up at her. Then, he had an idea.
"I'll tell you what, Danny. I won't reveal my plan to you, until you reveal your reason for thinking I am cute." He said coolly. Danny stared down at him.
"Dang. You're desperate, aren't you?" She asked, teasingly.
"Yes." Zim replied, glaring up at her. Danny sighed.
"Alright, well...honestly, I don't really know. Maybe it's your big eyes or your size...Maybe both." She said, grinning. Zim stared up at her with one eye narrowed.
"You think my SIZE is cute?" He asked, a bit put off by this revelation.
"Yes." Danny replied, still grinning.
"Why?" Zim asked, curiously.
"You're so tiny." Danny was still grinning. Zim's face tensed back into the glare he was giving her just moments before.
"I don't LIKE being called tiny. Even if my height isn't matching to that of yours or the Tallests, I have a PERFECTLY good height." His eyes closed as he thought about what she just said. "Still..." He opened his eyes as he smiled up at her. "It is always good to be admired. And you should admire me; I'm going to be the Tallest one day." He said, grinning proudly. Danny stared down at him, silent for a few minutes, before she snorted and burst out laughing.
"I know, I'm amazing!" Zim exclaimed proudly. At this, Danny started to laugh even harder, loosening her grip on him. Zim laughed with her but then his spider legs pop out of his PAK along with some weapons as he pushes her off and pins her to the floor instead. Danny immediately stops laughing and stares up at him, shocked.
"YOU LITTLE SHIT!" She shouted, angered and ashamed that she had let her guard down.
"Well, thank you. I try my hardest." Zim replied smugly. He then stuck one of his laser guns to Danny's head. "Now you will tell me what it is Dib and Jaz are planning to do..." He readied the gun. "...or DIE."
"I don't know what they're planning." Danny replied curtly as she glares up at him.
"LIES!" Zim shouted as he shoved the gun into Danny's head even harder. "Tell Zim or DIE!"
Danny remained silent.
"Don't make me kill you..." Zim said, still holding the gun up to her head.
Danny just continued to glare up at him.
"...If I must be honest, I would much prefer NOT to. But my mission is at stake, and I will do anything to keep it safe." Zim leaned in, putting his face closer to hers. "Now...tell me..."
"Go ahead. Kill me. It won't make a difference, though. It's not like my death will stop them." Danny replied as she glares at him.
"...You're right." Zim grabbed her by the collar of her uniform, pulling her up and glaring at her. "I guess you'll just have to lead me to them." He said coldly, still pushing the gun into her head.
"HA! Good luck with THAT." Danny laughed scornfully. Zim glared at her for a few minutes, still holding her by the collar.
"Fine then..." He said as he released her. An evil grin slowly creeps onto his face. "Let's see how you like me CUTE."
"Huh?" Danny stared up at him, a bit confused by his statement.
"GIR!" Zim shouted, not taking his eyes off of Danny. Immediately, the little robot flew through the door, eyes glowing red.
"YES MY MASTER!" GIR shouted as he saluted his master. Danny stared at the little robot, perplexed.
"GIR, I'm in the mood to play a game...a CUTE game. And so is Danny..." The little alien smiled down at the taller alien evilly. Danny stared back up at him with an unreadable expression.
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!" GIR squealed as his eyes turn back to blue and his arms shot above his head.
"But this time I name the game! Understand?" Zim said as he turns his gaze back to his robot servant.
"Aaaaaaawwwwwww" The little robot replied as his arms dropped to his sides limply.
"Oh don't worry, GIR, you'll enjoy this. It's a NEW game." Zim turned his gaze back to Danny. "A game I call...MESS UP." Danny stared up at him, even more confused than before.
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY MESS UP!" GIR flung his arms into the air again, grinning that goofy grin of his.
"Here's how we play; first, we strap Danny to the wall." Several tentacles popped out of Zim's PAK and picked Danny up off the floor, pinning her to the wall. Zim walked up to her with the same, evil grin on his face. "Next...we mess her up." He took several tools and utensils that look like they came straight from a beauty parlor out of his PAK.
"OH, HELL NO!" Danny screamed as she glared down at Zim angrily.
"Don't worry, I'll give myself a make-over as well! Now GIR, I usually don't allow you to do these sort of things, but this is an exception." Zim told he little robot as he pulled a hot and ready curling iron out of his PAK. "You are allowed to do ANYTHING you want to this Irken...and I mean ANYTHING." He said as he smiles up at Danny evilly.