Wow guys, Thanks so much for all the feedback, trying to update frequently to not keep those following the fic waiting for long. I know it's been quiet angsty, but the story is now stepping up a notch ;) This is a longer chapter but wanted to fit everything in! Let's goooo…
"That confirms it then, you've completely lost your mind Becs" Jesse stated as he watched the brunette fleeting around her apartment.
"Look…we're different people now. We've grown and that's all in the past, please don't be a dick about this Jesse. I know what I'm doing" Becca replied back to the boy who was helping himself to a drink in her kitchen.
Becca honestly didn't know if she believed her own words she was saying, the only thing she was sure of was it had given her a distraction for the past week.
"Sorry but I don't think you do, what's changed your mind from last time she contacted you? As soon as she split up from her boyfriend she called you up Becs and you told her to fuck off. Where has that attitude gone?" Becca could tell Jesse was irritated with her, but more than anything she could sense the disappointment in his voice.
"I know you're trying to look out for me Jess, but honestly I'm fine. Me and Amber we're just friends at the minute anyway"
"At the minute…what the hell does that mean Becca?"
"Exactly what I just said Jesse" Becca bit back at the boy, she already knew what she was doing was risky but she didn't need reminded of it every 5 minutes.
"I don't want to argue, I just want to make sure you have your guard up with her, she royally screwed you over Becca" Jesse explained in a more sensitive tone.
Becca knew he was just looking out for her, she couldn't be angry at him for that. Jesse had literally seen Becca at her worst when Amber broke her.
"I know I know, thank you for caring Jesse. Just respect my decision to see her please" Becca pleaded, she was already feeling apprehensive about seeing Amber tonight. If she didn't have Jesse to support her as well, it would make Becca feel 10 times more nervous.
"I don't have a choice do I?" Jesse asked with a slight smirk, Becca was glad he was finally easing up.
"Nope afraid not weirdo" Becca replied back feeling more upbeat.
"So you're heading to that bar around the corner tonight right?" Jesse questioned, Becca instantly shot her head up to look at him.
Did I even tell him where I was going
"Erm yeah, how do you know that stalker?" Becca was positive she hadn't told him.
Jesse laughed at Becca's surprised face "I have my ways oh small one" Jesse winked, as he motioned to Becca's phone on the table.
"Nice, been snooping through my phone huh?" Becca was used to Jesse going through her phone.
"Well I was just looking out for you…"Jesse sighed as he wandered over to sit on her couch looking defeated.
Becca looked over to him and gave him her most sincere smile, she knew Jesse would always look out for her. He was like the brother she had never had.
To say Becca was nervous was an understatement, she was about to see the girl who broke her heart for the first time in 4 years.
She swallowed hard, hoping her nerves would settle before Amber arrived. They had agreed for Amber to come to Becca's so they can just walk to the bar.
Before Becca had a chance to collect her thoughts there was a knock at her door.
Becca's heart jolted out of her chest, it wasn't an excited feeling. More of an anxious one where you know something bad is going to happen.
The brunette shrugged her nerves off and walked towards her door, she looked down at her hand holding the door knob before slowly turning it.
There she was.
Long blonde wavy hair coming past her shoulders, she wore a royal blue dress showing off her slim frame.
Becca was frozen still…neither of the women had spoken yet they were just glaring at each other.
Fuck fuck fuck this was a bad idea
"Hey…Bec you look good" Amber finally broke the silence.
"Thanks…so do you, you look really well" Becca complimented her, as the blonde pulled Becca in to a hug.
Becca was suddenly taken back to the past, memories were flooding her mind as she tried to regain her composure. She gently pulled away out of the blondes arms and gave her a subtle smile.
"So should we get going?" Becca asked as she reached for her jacket
"Yeah let's" Amber replied as she led the way of her the apartment building.
The walk to the bar was only 10 minutes or so, their conversation consisted of small talk about work etc. It flowed well considering the amount of tension and unanswered questions that lingered between both women.
Once they reached the bar, Becca opened the door for Amber to enter, the blonde met Becca's eyes as she let out a small thanks.
Spotting a table with two seats by the window, the two girls made their way over to it.
"I'll go get us the drinks" Amber insisted as she stood up about to walk off.
"Erm…are you not gonna ask me what I want?" Becca asked curiously.
Amber shook her head lightly and smiled down at the brunette
"Becca, you were my girlfriend for 3 years, do you not think I've remembered what your favourite drink is" the blonde rolled her eyes with her smile still intact as she grabbed her purse and made her way over to the bar.
The word girlfriend hit Becca hard
Of course she is totally calm with talking about our past
Amber always had a confidence about her, but she seemed different somehow.
Before Becca knew it the blonde was making her way over with two drinks, she placed the JD & coke down for Becca and sat down opposite the brunette with her white wine.
Chloes favourite drink
"So tell me Becca, why the text? Why now?" Amber asked before taking a sip of her wine.
"Wow straight in there huh?" Becca nervously laughed as she followed suit and took a sip of her drink.
"I guess I was curious, I mean the last time we spoke it didn't really end on good terms" Becca tried to avoid eye contact with Amber, she knew how the girl could instantly control Becca with one stare.
"Yeah that's putting it lightly. I think your precise words were 'get out my fucking house you using bitch' That kinda stung" Becca observed Ambers demeanour as she spoke, the blonde looked as though she was getting emotional.
"I'm sorry for the harsh words, I was totally out of line. However it is kinda understandable, you left me for some dude, then when that didn't work out you came back to see if I was still free" Becca was surprised at how much she was opening up to Amber, but if she was going to get anywhere with this conversation, she needed to express her feelings.
Chloe taught me that
Amber pursed her lips as she looked down to her drink, Becca couldn't tell if she was trying to decide what to reply to Becca or was trying to hold something back.
"It was the biggest mistake of my life splitting up with you Becca. You were the best thing to ever happen to me and…" the blonde seemed to choke up as she spoke.
"And I'm gonna have to live with that for the rest of my life. If I could go back and change it I would" Her eyes were now locked with Becca's as she spoke with complete conviction.
Becca didn't know what to say, all she could do in that moment was stare back at the woman. The woman who shattered her life, the first woman she loved. It was the woman she would have given anything for to hear those words come out of her mouth 3 years ago.
Just as Becca was about to reply something caught her eye, a flash of red. A familiar red.
It can't be…
The brunettes eyes quickly scanned her surroundings, before spotting her. Becca's stomach dropped as she seen Chloe at the bar with Tom.
"Becca you okay? Think I lost you for a second there" Amber said as she clicked her fingers to wake Becca from her daze.
"Er..erm yeah sorry, what were we saying? Sorry" The brunette stuttered over her words as she tried to focus on the blonde in front of her. Becca knew her mind now belonged to the red head, she was using all her will power not to turn round and look at her again.
"Well I kinda just poured my heart out to you, but ahhh looks like it's gonna take a while for you to forgive me judging by your response" Becca was shocked to see Ambers eyes were starting to fill with tears.
Although the blonde had broken Becca's heart, it didn't mean she didn't still care for her. Becca reached over to grab her hand as she spoke gently to her
"Amber it was a long time ago, yes it still hurts. There were times I couldn't even leave my bed I was that shattered from losing you" Ambers eyes furrowed in to sadness at hearing this.
Becca continued "But that was then, I've forgiven you for what you have done. I've never stopped caring for you. I just didn't and still don't understand where it went wrong for us" after finishing Becca took her hand back from Ambers as she took another sip.
Before Amber could reply to her Becca willed herself not to turn and look at the red head. Of course this proved impossible for Becca, as her head swung round to the left.
There she was instantly met with bright blue eyes, Chloe was staring right at Becca hardly blinking. Her face was unreadable, until the red heads eyes flickered to Amber then back to Becca.
Chloe gave Becca a pained look, as she looked to the ground taking a deep breath before turning back round to face Tom.
Becca knew Chloe will have recognised Amber from the photo she kept in her apartment.
She hates me
"So who is she?" Becca swung back round to face Amber who had fired the question to the brunette.
"Huh..w..what who?" Becca stuttered out
Way to go Becca
"Becs, come on like I said before 3 years. I know when you are lying. So tell me, who is the ginger who keeps glancing at you at every opportunity?" Amber probed Becca further clearly not leaving it until she got an answer.
"Her names Chloe, she's a friend" Becca answered trying to steady her tone.
"That's it? A friend? Not buying it. Clearly something went down for you to be getting the kicked puppy dog eyes off her and for me getting the death glares from her" Amber chuckled as she downed some more of her wine.
Becca could tell the blonde was getting frustrated, but she really wanted to avoid having this conversation. It still hurt like hell for Becca.
"Fine I'll let you come up with a reasonable reply while I go for a smoke" Amber stated as she rose up from her chair. She slid her jacket on before leaning over to stroke Becca's hair before walking out.
Before Becca could even manage to bring her glass to her lips she was interrupted.
"What the fuck are you doing Becca?" knowing exactly who it was Becca braced herself for a confrontation with Chloe.
"Excuse me?" Becca snarled out, she didn't really have a right to be like this with the red head but she taken off guard seeing her tonight.
"Cut the shit, what are you doing with her? Do you think I'm stupid I know its Amber. The girl that broke your heart, I'm confused are you getting back together? Is this why you have been avoiding me for the past week?" Chloe looked furious, Becca hadn't seen her this angry before.
"I'm sorry do I have to answer to you now? It's my life I'll do what I want Red" Becca shot out in reply.
"Do not call me that" Chloe's face was now turning red, she looked as if she was about to explode.
"Oh really? It's getting this petty now is it? Okay sorry Chloe or would you prefer Miss Beale or soon to be Mrs Jerk off?" Before Becca could stop herself from saying this her words literally fell out of her mouth.
Why did I say that, god shes gonna hate me
Daring to look up at Chloe's reaction she seen the redness from Chloe's face had disappeared, and replaced by a look of sadness. The red head opened her mouth to reply but closed it again when no words came out.
"God it's freezing out there now" The blondes voice interrupted both of the girl's thoughts.
Amber took a seat taking her jacket off before realising she was interrupting something.
"Hey I'm ah..I'm Amber I don't know if Becca has"
"I know who you are" Amber was cut off by the red head who was now glaring down at her.
Becca was watching the girl's interaction, she knew what Amber was like and was worried this was soon going to escalate.
Taking Becca by surprise Amber gave Chloe a genuine timid smile
"Ah okay. It's nice to meet you" the blonde stated as she casually took a sip of her drink.
"Hey Chlo come on there's a table over here" Tom called over, Becca knew Tom could see her but yet he still obnoxiously ignored her as he beckoned Chloe over.
Becca smiled to herself as she lightly shook her head, amused at the fact he would always live up to her ass hole expectations.
"Don't worry Chloe, if he asks I'll lie to him and tell him that I called you over to speak to you. I'm good at lying to him for you" Becca couldn't help but get the comment in. Seeing the girl who meant everything to her be controlled by such a dick made the brunette rage inside.
Chloe slightly stepped back, almost as if Becca's words had hit her. The look of hurt Becca seen in Chloe's eyes said it all.
Have I gone too far in what I said…fuck it
Without saying another word Chloe shuffled off towards Tom, following him to a table further up.
"WOW talk about sexual tension! That was pretty intense Bec. Maybe I don't want to know the story, I have a feeling it's gonna put you in a shitty mood explaining it" Amber suggested, Becca was still trying to process what just happened.
"Yeah you're probably right. Thanks for being so cool with her even when she was a little bit…" Becca trailed off
"Bitchy?" Amber replied laughing, "It's fine, I mean there is obviously shit between you guys but I can tell she means something to you so didn't want to rise to it and cause more crap for you".
Becca had never really seen this side of Amber before, well at the beginning of their relationship she had. The blonde was the sweetest girlfriend to her she was always attentive, but the last 6 months before she left Becca they drifted and Amber moulded in to a different person.
"Impressive I've got to say Amber" Becca complimented her.
"Right come on, enough of the seriousness I say we bump and grind for 10 then go get another drink" Amber stated before grabbing Becca by her wrist and dragging her to the dance floor.
"Amberrrr noooo, you know I can't dance" Becca whined as she was being dragged through a sea of people on the dance floor.
"Bull shit, you CAN dance you just chose not to" Amber smirked as she began to dance with Becca.
Becca was expecting the blonde to be dancing more seductively with her but she was sticking to her boundaries, Becca was genuinely starting to enjoy herself and let herself relax a bit.
Before Becca could comprehend what song was being played, she grabbed Amber playfully and wrapped her arm around her waist to bring her in closer.
Then it hit her…the song playing was titanium.
Mine and Chloes song
Becca started to stiffen as thoughts of the red head filled her mind, the song was special to them both and she knew dancing with Amber to it was wrong.
The brunette looked up and peered round to look at Chloe's table to see if she had reacted at all to the song that was playing.
Confused Becca could only see Tom sitting at the table playing on his phone with his head held in his hand looking bored beyond belief. At the corner of her eye Becca spotted her.
Chloe was striding towards the toilets, Becca couldn't help but shake the feeling it was because of the song.
I need to check on her
Becca wriggled free from the blondes grasp, she leaned over to pull Ambers neck forward before whispering in her ear.
"I'll be right back, going to rest room"
Amber nodded in acknowledgment before signalling she would go to the bar to get the next round of drinks. Becca smiled in appreciation as she made her way over to the toilets.
As the brunette walked in she seen no one was standing in there, she was about to leave until she heard a sniff. Cautiously Becca slowly walked over to the stalls.
"Chlo…is that you?" Becca asked, not really thinking of how awkward it would be if this was just some random woman she was talking to.
Becca walked over to the occupied cubicle, as she gently knocked on it with the back of her knuckles.
"Chloe…please let me in. I promise I won't speak if you don't want me to. I just want to see you to make sure you're alright" Becca softly explained as her head leaned against the door.
She heard the lock on the door click as she gently swung it open, Chloe was sat perched on the toilet lid. Mascara was rubbed under her eyes and on her cheeks, Becca's heart broke a little at the sight of the delicate red head.
"Chloe…I'm sorry are you okay? What's wrong?" Becca gently asked, she was unsure how the red head was going to react at this point.
Chloe looked up and stared at Becca "Really Becca, I have to spell it out for you?" she shot out "It was our song…" she added with a sniff at the end. The red heads head was now in her hands.
I thought she would have been pissed but this…why is she so upset
Becca reached out to Chloe's chin as she lifted it up, the black tears now visible for Becca to see were falling down Chloe's cheeks. Becca did her best to wipe them away with her thumb.
"I know. I'm sorry for what I said before to you and Tom, I shouldn't have gotten so angry" Becca offered to the red head.
Chloe shook her head "No no…you have every right to. I couldn't say anything back because you were right Becca" Chloe now focusing on the floor before her eyes flickered up to meet Becca's.
"Really though Bec, what are you doing with her? I don't understand. Why her?" Chloe's tone almost came out accusingly.
This made Becca become defensive "Do you think I'm stupid Chloe? She's my friend okay you don't need to understand. There's a lot you don't understand about me actually!" Becca now standing up so she was looking down at the red head.
Chloe mimicked Becca and stood up to face her "What that you hate my boyfriend? I kinda had an idea, but I thought because you cared about me you would try and get on" Chloe was getting angrier now as their exchange continued.
Becca couldn't bite her tongue this time "So you're putting that all on me? Are you fucking serious right now! Do you think it's easy for me to see you with him?!" Becca wanted to take back the words immediately.
The brunette waited for Chloe's confused or shocked reaction to Becca's words but it never came, she just stared at Becca without flinching.
"Okay so this is now awkward…I'm going Chloe. I've tried with you but you're just blaming me for not getting along with your fiancé, so if you don't mind I'm going back" Becca opened the cubicle door and started to head out of the restroom.
"Do you think it's easy for me to watch you with her?! Watch you and her dry hump on the dance floor to OUR song, OUR song Becca. With the one girl who actually got to have your heart and fucking stupidly messed that up?"
Becca slowly turned round, looking at the red head whose chest was now heaving from breathing heavy after her outburst.
Wait does that mean she…
"Becca...please don't get with her. She had her chance and she blew it! She doesn't deserve another one with you. You're way too special for that" Chloe begged as she was now slowly walking towards Becca.
Becca's head was still trying to work out what Chloe meant by her confession
Was it a confession?
"Chloe I don't...I don't understand you. You confuse the shit out of me! I never know where I stand with you. This last week has killed me not to speak to you, but it was too hard to see you with Tom anymore I…I just can't" Becca had finally done it, she was telling the red head exactly how she felt.
Chloe approached her and stood face to face, her eyes were fixated on to Becca's as if she was trying to think of the right words.
"Let me make it a little clearer for you" Chloe whispered as her eyes flickered from Becca's dark blue orbs to her lips.
The red head leaned in and met Becca's lips with hers. Becca's heart was beating like crazy, while her stomach was filled with butterflies.
Is this actually happening or is this a dream?
Becca responded immediately to the kiss, allowing her hands to be placed on to Chloe's hips. Chloe gently pushed Becca back against the wall as they were still locked in their kiss, it was getting more and more heated.
The red head was now running her fingers through Becca's hair, as they slowed their kiss down and finished off with several pecks before parting.
Both girls were staring at each other, with their faces inches apart. Their chests were heaving, both battling to catch their breath.
What the fuck happens now?