Steve nodded and I blinked back tears from remembering that night.
"Yeah, there was a small fragment of metal working its way out of my body and maybe an hour or so after I had witnessed the man's death, I was screaming in pain and Sadie came running across to me and held me down. I remember her taking my hand and having to use the restraints as the infection had caused me to become delirious and I was fighting everything and everyone; she managed to get some support and she got me strapped into the bed as she climbed on top of me as they sedated me." Steve replied.
"You're STATS were all over the place and the infection was systemic, the doctors were called and you were rushed back into surgery; thankfully they found the fragment and after debriding the area, they sewed you back up and put you on some heavy duty antibiotics and painkillers. I had managed to take a small break during that time and went for a shower and change of clothes, my combats were getting really too big for me, I had lost a lot of weight – I was heavier back then, and I managed to get new ones ordered. I came back in and found Steve being wheeled back into my ward and I put myself down as primary carer again – something in me just needed to take care of him." I replied grinning.
Everyone chuckled and Danno made a small comment that had Steve chuck a pillow at him, I was laughing and nearly choked on the bottle of water I was drinking.
"So what happened when Steve woke up again?" Danny asked getting into the story.
"Well it was two days later, I was still on duty due to the heavy casualty load and not enough experienced nurses in the field, it sucked but it got better once I received seven visitors who wanted to see Steve and myself. I took them into the small room that Steve was in due to the isolation of the infection and they all took a few minutes with him as I updated their acting TL. They all thanked me for doing everything possible to saving his life and if I needed anything then I was to call on them, then they spotted the bruises. They demanded to know what had happened and I simply explained to them that due to the high grade fever and infection we had to restrain him for his own safety, unfortunately he got in a few punches first and my neck was hit a few times. They looked furious but I told them Steve was automatically forgiven and no action was getting taken against him since he was so ill – I am guessing that they did kick your ass when you went back to active though?" I replied.
"Yeah, and I went along with it as I felt horrible – all those weeks you took care of me and neglected your own health and sleep so you could keep away the bad dreams and pain away from me. You are probably the single reason I managed to get through the recovery with a sound mind, your fierce loyalty and opinion, your courage to face a pissed of SEAL and – even managing to talk him down from killing himself during the lowest point of his life," he confessed suddenly.
I blinked up at him and I smiled at him, no-one else was aware of what he had tried to do one night – it was fate that led me to him about to shoot himself in the gym. Everyone else was staring at us, Danny had my hand in a vice grip and Chin was shaking his head in disbelief.
"You tried to kill yourself, and she managed to stop you?" Danny whispered.
He nodded and looked straight at me.
"I was depressed and angry at how long I was cooped up in the hospital with nothing to do, I couldn't go outside due to the location of the hospital and since I was still weak, my physio was limited to the small gym on sight – all I wanted to do was swim. I had enough one night and managed to sneak a firearm into the gym with me, I had the gun against my head and was about to pull the trigger when I heard singing again. I knew immediately it was Sadie and I focused on what she was singing too, I didn't know the language but it was a powerful and emotional song, she walked in on me then." He whispered.
"What did she do?" both Chin and Danny asked.
"She looked at me in fright, clenched her hand and then walked right over to me and pulled the gun out of my hand; I was so shocked that I let the grip go and she put the safety back on and put it in her pocket. She sat beside me on the bench and I just cried, I actually howled out in grief and cried for what felt like hours; it was a cathartic release for me – she provided nothing but comfort and support as I got it out of my system. She held my head on her lap and sang gently as I calmed down – that is her gift – that's why Gracie was so calm when we ran into the office – Sadie was singing to her to make her relax and not be afraid."
"What happened during the next stages of recovery for you then?"
"A few days later after I got him to speak to the councillors on staff, we worked out a plan to get him back up to active duty status, he was physically healed and it was just the muscle recovery that he needed now and we made each other promises on the day we started to train. I promised him that I would keep doing my calling and save people, he promised me that once he was off active duty he would call on me and take me out for dinner. He also made me promise that I would not go above a grade four assignment location, that's the only promise I have broken to him – but he knows why I did it now," I replied.
"It was five months after I had been released from the hospital and I was on an long term assignment with my team, I managed to get a couple of messages to Sadie back at the hospital and then when I did get back to Bastion, I found that she had been sent back home for retraining. She left contact details for me and I knew her CO – I never managed to contact her again until I found out two years later she was back in the desert in a remote medical camp under the same CO." he replied.
"Was this after you had 'retrained'?" Chin asked.
"Yeah, and about three months after I had recovered back to active status from my injuries, it wasn't the best time in the camp due to the accusations flying about the place that I had gotten my team killed. No-one else was aware of my new training and the CO and JAG investigation had cleared me of wrong doing, but a lot of good people had died and they vented their anger at me. I was pulled into the CO's office and after getting pissed off, I was handed a large envelope with a job offer – the rest of the story you are aware of."
Everyone was silent for a moment as we all absorbed the conversation and information Steve and I had parted with, all of it was very personal and the first time we had really talked about it with anyone else.
"I know why Steve decided to go for the SEAL training, why did you volunteer for the training programme – what possessed you to attempt it?" Chin asked.
"I was on a medical convoy about two months after Steve left the hospital; we were transporting medical supplies to a remote village that was being used by allied troops as an emergency layby on that part of the country patrol. About eight clicks away from our destination was a beautiful old villa that housed about forty orphans who had been rescued by the Red Cross; we went to do our usual patrol check with them and play with the kids for a while – we never got the chance." I started.
"Was the place empty, had they had to leave?" Steve asked gently.
Steve wasn't aware of why I actually chose to do the training, this would hopefully make him understand the reasons why I chose to volunteer – why I fought so hard for my family and friends – why I became so good at being a tactical operator and went into a different persona when on missions.
"We parked up the Humvee and trucks outside and did a quick sweep of the area with the EOD guys we were on patrol with; I called on the staff inside and knocked on the heavy doors but received no answer. Something was wrong and we all took aim and knocked the doors in, we all went in and cleared the main front area and I headed in with my TL to the main chamber that housed the kitchen and rest areas. Both of us walked out the room a few minutes later and called everyone down to our location; one by one they went inside the room and then came back out." I started to explain.
"Oh god, that was you're unit that found….." Steve whispered.
I nodded and took another drink out of my water bottle.
"Found what, please don't tell me?" Danny whispered.
"Yeah, all of them were dead – a local cell had discovered the stash they were keeping for us and executed every single one of them; they hung all forty children and beheaded the adults." I replied.
I saw each of the men come to terms with what I had just told them, they started to figure out why I had volunteered after that event and could start to understand why I was so fiercely loyal to those around me.
"My decision to volunteer was only strengthened when I met another SEAL team who was meeting us at the RVP, we had buried the remains after taking photographic evidence and alerting command of the discovery – the team we met tracked the terrorist cell down and eliminated them that night. During the next few days I got to know the men of the team, they knew of Steve's reputation and after seeing me in combat and treating some of the injured a few days later when we were ambushed, they whispered to me about a rumoured training initiative that could happen. I found out all I could about it and spoke to Brian and the team about it at great length, they were all for helping me train my skills up so I would have at least a fighting chance for the evaluation board."
"Brian Thompson was the person to introduce you to the training, is that why – Jesus no wonder he is number one on the SEALS wanted list at the moment!" Chin whispered.
"And here you are, a tactical operative who is also a nurse – that's a real head fucker Sadie – I still remember the day you told me about Sparx, the fear I felt, the pride and then the disgust – messed my head up for a few hours!" Steve replied.
"Yeah I know, but that is the reason Sparx would have worked – we don't look like a typical operative, we blend into society and do normal jobs – you have seen the persona I change into when I use my skills – she is a part of me who I love and respect, she keeps me safe and keeps my family safe." I replied.
"Why did YOU want to do the training, why put you through the pain knowing that it could get you killed – tortured?" Danny whispered.
I looked up at him and smiled; I pointed to the photo and looked up at Steve.
"Because some people don't have someone to protect them when the evils of the world come after them, others are too weak to defend themselves and the ones they love suffer for their fears. I had an opportunity to fight my fears and make my life into something after I felt abandoned by Steve and my family for dying on me when I was younger. I trained hard, I worked harder and I worked through the pain both physical and emotional and I proved to the world that I was a force to be reckoned with – that I was a true guardian if you like." I replied.
"A guardian of humanity, seven females armed and trained to the teeth by a joint team of serving TO's and active SEAL and SAS units – never thought I would see the day of an all-female SEAL unit doing a mission and succeeding." Steve whispered.
"Yeah we had a lot of doubters against us but we proved ourselves, at least until I was wounded – I am only one of three members left of the original programme and all of them have strong relationships with men in the military, civilian authorities and SWAT – we need the balance of a strong man beside us so we can even out the chaos." I replied.