Author's Note:Just a little fun to celebrate Valentine's Day. Thanks to Lola Lot and Spike Dee for looking this over! Lola Lot is a fabulous KakaSaku author and you should check her stuff out.

Among the shinobi nations, Hatake Kakashi was a man to be feared and respected.

For almost twenty years now, each and every confiscated Bingo book had contained an entry for Hatake Kakashi. Now, though times were relatively peaceful, it was still so. Even allied villages kept tabs on the ninja that could cause problems if that peace were to devolve into enmity.

Most books still used woefully outdated pictures. The only thing that had changed about the entries over the years was his status. He had started out as a C ranked ninja in his first appearance in a Rock Bingo book, but now every book from every nation said the exact same thing under the "if enemy" category: "Flee on sight."

Yes, Hatake Kakashi was well known for being unflappable both in battle and out, ever the epitome of the shinobi traditions.

His cool attitude was one of the first things that drew Maito Gai to Kakashi, after all. Back in the true springtime of his youth, such hipness was beyond Gai, who was then a short, spotty boy with a boxy head too large for his adolescent body. When he spoke, his voice cracked, and girls never gave him the time of day.

Kakashi, on the other hand, was apparently born a miniature version of the adult he would one day be. Puberty hit him like the lightning that would one day add to his formidable reputation; it seemed that almost overnight, his voice deepened into a smooth baritone and his boyish face melted into the hard planes of a man's. Unlike Gai, who shot up like a gangly weed and did not know what do with his new long limbs, Kakashi grew slowly but steadily into a tall man with a cutting figure.

Women gave Kakashi more than the time of day, to be sure – or they would if he asked them to, which he rarely did. This only made them want him more.

Gai made it his personal mission to see Kakashi lose a little face – just once. He challenged Kakashi to a shuriken throwing competition, but it did not bring out the competitive spirit that Gai had hoped for. Kakashi participated with a sigh, and though he looked bored the entire time, he won handily.

"What a waste of time," Kakashi had said with a flick of his hand over his shoulder as he walked away. "I could have been reading."

Furious, Gai challenged Kakashi to a taijutsu match the very next day. This time, Gai won, but Kakashi's reaction was just as unenthused as a loser as it had been as a winner. Unsatisfied, Gai challenged him again, and again, each time in something new.

Thus began a long tradition of traded challenges, which Kakashi either won or lost with the exact same lack of gusto. Only years later did Gai realize that Kakashi kept participating, which meant that Gai had won, in a way: he had ignited some sort of competitive spirit in Kakashi.

So the matches became something else entirely, something closer to friendship. Gai quietly accepted that even as he won, he also lost, for he would never make Kakashi lose his cool.

The years passed and Gai's voice evened out until it was deeper than Kakashi's. He was even taller than Kakashi, and had almost definitely had more girlfriends than Kakashi, whose reclusive ways built walls around him that were hard to tear down.

But still, Gai had never seen Kakashi lose composure or show fear, even when forced to kill his own teammate on a mission gone horribly wrong.

Since Kakashi kept up the facade of the perfect ninja in every situation, even going so far as to wear a mask, the Copy Ninja was less of a person and more of a symbol of power to the people of Konoha. He was a living legend, the second known ninja in history to turn down the position of Hokage. His laundry list of feats would be lengthy, if one were to write it out, and the least of them was tutoring the Rokudaime Hokage, Uzumaki Naruto.

Hatake Kakashi was just as revered within Konoha as he was without. He never showed weakness or fear.

Or at least that used to be true. Now, everyone in Konoha knew exactly how to cow one of Leaf's most infamous soldiers.

Hatake Kakashi was absolutely terrified of one thing and one thing only: his wife.

Gai had never once succeeded in his lifelong goal of making Kakashi lose face, but his wife could do it effortlessly. And she did, quite often.

Today was no exception.

Gai followed the Hatake couple through the crowded streets of Konoha. Kakashi was being dragged along the cobblestones by his hair. At least the weather took mercy on him, as it hadn't rained recently, so the only thing coating his usually pristine uniform was dust.

His wife jerked him along none too gently, muttering darkly to herself all the while. Kakashi accepted his fate with as much dignity as he could muster and allowed himself to be bounced along without protest.

"Pardon me," Kakashi said politely to a woman with a stroller who was forced to veer out of her path to avoid running over him.

The woman just clucked her tongue and shook her head, turning to the daughter clutching her skirts to say, "Hanako-chan, don't grow up to be a harpy like that woman. Most men wouldn't put up with it like him."

Kakashi's wife stopped on the spot and released his hair, letting his head fall to the stones. He lay there bonelessly and she whirled on the woman with the stroller.

"Hagane-san, shouldn't you be a bit more thorough? It wouldn't do to favor one child over the other. Even though your son is still young, why not tell him not to grow up into someone that is obsessed with porn and needs a little wifey at home to clean his perpetually dirty drawers to feel like a man?"

Hagane Yuuko flushed red. "I meant no offense, Sakura-san."

Sakura smiled sweetly, inclining her head towards Yuuko. "Of course you didn't. By the way, I've been meaning to ask you. Has your husband's erectile dysfunction cleared up since I prescribed him that medication?"

Yuuko's jaw dropped open and she spluttered, struggling for words.

"I'll take that as a no," Sakura said. "But then again, I should have known. If it had, you'd probably be a bit more cheerful and a bit less interested in other people's business. Tell him to stop by the clinic again and we'll try something else."

The young girl tugged at her mother's skirts. "Mommy, what's erectile dysfunction? Is daddy sick?"

Her face now so red it threatened to turn purple, Yuuko rushed away with her stroller, unable to formulate a response.

Kakashi had taken the opportunity of his wife's distraction to pick himself up and dust off. He stared after Yuuko's retreating form and made the mistake of chuckling.

Sakura turned on him, baring her teeth savagely. "You," she said, voice low. "Don't you look so smug."

"Smug? Me?" he said innocently, though an experienced observer like Gai could tell the quirk of Kakashi's lips and the crinkle of his one visible eye suggested otherwise.

Sakura pushed a fingernail painted a green almost as acid as her tongue into Kakashi's chest. He flew back several feet and only barely managed to catch himself before he fell. The civilians in his way were not so lucky, but none were stupid enough to complain about it.

"This is all your fault!" Sakura shrieked.

Kakashi returned to her so she had to crane her neck up to look at him.

His grin grew wider. "So it is."

Her nostrils flared and her green eyes narrowed. "You better fix that face before I rearrange it!"

"I wasn't aware my face was broken."

"It will be," she hissed and moved so fast it caught Gai off guard.

It seemed Gai wasn't the only one, for at the end of the brief struggle, Kakashi was being dragged along the street once more, only face down this time.

"You just wait until Shishou hears what you've done," Sakura said as she moved out of earshot.

The civilians all breathed a sigh of relief once they were gone and continued about their business. A few men smirked; a few women tutted disapprovingly, like Yuuko had.

Gai, however, grinned brightly. He knew it. The day had finally come.

Hatake Sakura was pregnant.

Gai was not surprised when Kakashi – half of the gang in tow – showed up on his doorstep, grinning despite the ice pack over his eye held into place by his forehead protector. In lieu of a greeting, Kakashi shoved a cigar into Gai's mouth a little too enthusiastically, making him choke.

After he spat out the cigar carefully, holding it in his hand, Gai asked, "What's the occasion?"

It wouldn't do to let on his suspicions here, in case he was wrong.

Genma threw his arms around Yamato and Ebisu, one of whom was grinning almost as wildly as Kakashi and the other of whom was bleary-eyed, fresh from a nap and still actually in a bathrobe. Instead of the standard senbon hanging from his lips, Genma sported a cigar. Today, they all matched.

"Kakashi finally knocked her up!" Genma said, his customary lazy smile beginning its slow spread across his face. "We're celebrating, so get a move on. We still have to pick up the others."

Gai's grin was so wide it actually hurt his face. At hearing the wonderful news confirmed, deep seated emotions welled up until they overcame him. He struck a manly pose.

"I am so proud of my dearest rival! The springtime of his youth may be officially passed, but he is now in the wonderful summer of love! His virility confirmed, his seed quickened, his line continued, his –"

"Maa," Kakashi said, waving a dismissive hand, but Gai did not miss how his back straightened and his eye turned up in gaiety.

Kakashi was openly happy for the first time that Gai could remember. Even at his wedding, Kakashi was subdued, though the careful observer could note how his hands and eyes lingered on his bride, how his smiles were easier, truer than ever before. When Naruto succeeded Tsunade, the façade came even closer to tumbling as Kakashi's chest swelled with pride. Still, he maintained decorum – but not today. Today, he was giddy as he'd never been, even as a child.

The beauty of it brought a tear to Gai's eye – and then another, and another, until he was sobbing in earnest. Strong arms herded him, and he trusted his friends to guide him true. When they reached the next stop, Gai sobered up long enough to place his cigar in his mouth to match the others. He helped wrangle Raidou into the group, though he took a little convincing as he left behind a buxom woman who seemed a little reluctant to release Raidou from her bed. They waited patiently for Raidou to put some pants on before handing him his own cigar.

The next stop – the liquor store – was an unplanned bargaining chip.

"No way am I staying sober," Raidou muttered, glaring darkly at them. "Do you know how often I get tail like that?"

"Yes," Kakashi said cheerfully. "Never."

Raidou moaned. "You owe me for this. Did you even see those tits?"

Ebisu fidgeted with his bathrobe, scuffing his fuzzy slippers against the tile of the floor. "O-of course not. I would never dream of staring at your – um – lady friend's … er … assets."

The cashier, looking a bit annoyed to be dealing with rowdy customers at half past noon, sighed and handed Ebisu a tissue. He used it to stop up his nosebleed, face impossibly red.

"Hmm." Kakashi tapped a pensive finger to his chin. "I've heard women's breasts grow when they're pregnant."

"That's the spirit!"

Genma ripped a bottle of beer from the cashier's hands and cracked it open. Its fizz spilled over onto the tile but he paid no heed, taking a swig.

"Hey, that's –" the cashier began indignantly, her eyebrows shooting up into her bangs.

"Sorry," Genma said, nodding sagely. "That was quite rude of me."

He grabbed another bottle from the counter and handed it to Kakashi. "You should be first, by rights."

"You haven't even paid for those yet," the cashier hissed, scandalized, and pointed to a sign below the register that read "NO CONSUMPTION OF ALCOHOL ON STORE PREMISES."

"Ah, shut your tits, lady." Genma reached into his pocket for some money to throw on the counter. "Can't you see this is a party?"

Raidou's glare deepened, his scar making him look quite formidable. "Can't take you twerps anywhere…"

Looking a little nervous, Ebisu said, "It's time to collect Aoba, is it not?"

"Yeah, yeah, let's go," Genma said, and they left, much to the relief of the cashier.

Aoba was not at home. He was currently working the mission desk, in fact, which presented an obstacle that they simply chose to ignore. They marched right into the room, stunning both Iruka and a genin team into silence as Gai and Yamato lifted Aoba right out of his chair.

"Urgent mission," Yamato said gruffly. "Hokage's orders."

"Really," Iruka said flatly. "Because I spoke to the Hokage not ten minutes ago, and he didn't mention –"

Yamato shadowed his face dramatically in a well-practiced threatening look. "Are you questioning the Hokage's orders? Operation Tonkatsu is of vital importance to village security!"

"Operation Tonkatsu." Iruka's face was studiously blank. "And how are expensive cigars vital to village security, exactly? Those are from the western continent, if I'm not mistaken."

"When questioned," Yamato said, "you will report to Hokage-sama that if our mission is interrupted, Agent, uh, Pork will be force fed noodles and all signs will point to Naruto himself as the culprit. This would incite a state of national emergency. Our city could literally be punched – uh, shaken – to the ground."

Iruka sighed. "Noodles is a code word, I presume."

"Naturally."

"Iruka-sensei," one of genin wailed. "Is Konoha under attack?"

"No, Tochiro." Iruka pinched the bridge of his nose. "Of course not. Would Naruto-sama let that happen again?"

The boy sniffled. "No…"

While Iruka comforted the genin, Gai and Yamato sidled out of the room with Aoba still held between them, the others in tow.

When outside, they set Aoba down and handed him his cigar. Aoba inspected it carefully, turning it over in his hands.

"So what is it?"

Raidou's brow raised quizzically. "What does it look like?"

"A cigar."

"I always knew you were bright," Kakashi said with a crinkle of his eye.

Aoba held the cigar aloft, squinting into the sun. "But what is it really?"

No one answered him, looking at each other in turn.

"Come on. Isn't anyone going to tell me about the mission?"

Genma laughed first and the rest followed.

Gai threw an arm around Aoba's shoulder. "My friend, your jokes are more clever than –"

Aoba frowned. "But what's Operation Tonkatsu?"

"It doesn't exist, you dumbass," Raidou said, taking the cigar and shoving it into Aoba's mouth. "Sakura's pregnant."

"Oh." Aoba looked around surreptitiously, trying to hide it with his sunglasses. "Is she, um … here? So I can, uh, extend my congratulations?"

"No," Kakashi said cheerily. "She's shopping. For the baby. Or maybe vitamins. Something like that."

Aoba relaxed. "Oh, good! For the – for the baby, I mean. That's good that you're uh … having one."

With a roll of his eyes, Raidou handed Aoba a beer. "Still scared of a woman? Was the physical that bad?"

Ah, the infamous physical, thought Gai. Aoba still wouldn't speak of the details. Maybe if they got him drunk enough tonight, he would finally tell them.

"I'm not scared of her! Well … maybe a little bit, but so would any sane person." Aoba sniffed haughtily. "And for your information, yes, it was."

Then, realizing what he said, Aoba smiled nervously at Kakashi. "Er… No offense."

Kakashi only grinned. "I told you you're a smart man."

"It's just that with pregnancy hormones and all…"

Raidou blanched. "I didn't even think of that."

Quickly, he shoved another beer at Kakashi. "Take it. You're going to need it."

Hours later, they were strewn around his living room, now littered with empty cans and bottles, for they'd run out of beer at some point and gone out for an upgrade to sake. Also scattered was the food that Ebisu had insisted they pick up, ever the responsible one.

"Have you thought of names for him yet?" Gai asked, sporting a sloppily made doily on his head.

After imbibing more than a little bit, Gai had insisted that they lacked festive hats and chosen it as the most readily available substitute, snatching it off the coffee table. He'd rummaged around for some others – as crocheting had been a temporary hobby of Sakura's – and despite being a bit put out that no one else showed celebratory spirit, Gai continued to resolutely wear his own.

Kakashi looked thoughtful, twirling an empty bottle in his hands, as nimble as ever, even intoxicated as he was.

"I was thinking Sakumo. But I'm not sure … maybe it would better not to burden him with –"

Yamato paused mid-puff of his nearly expended cigar, looking at Kakashi sharply. Gai's grin, though, did not falter, and he slapped his friend on the back.

"Sakumo is a fine name!"

Ignoring the sudden tenseness of the room, Raidou let out a barking laugh. "Have any of you dipshits thought that it might be a girl?"

This did knock the smile off of Gai's face to be replaced with a hanging jaw, his palm still rigid against Kakashi's back. Kakashi stared at Raidou blankly, the glass bottle in his hands ceasing movement abruptly.

Genma snorted and shook his head. "I'd love to see a daughter of Hatake Kakashi's… You wouldn't know what to do with her, would you? You don't really relate to women from what I can tell."

Kakashi scowled and started spinning the bottle at the tip of one long finger. "I related to women well enough for this, didn't I? I don't see any of you married."

Aoba started laughing, almost dropping his drink, sunglasses askew. "But you married her, and that's not – not a normal woman. If you had a daughter, she might be sweet and kind, like that Hyuuga Hinata. Or she could –"

The laughter cut off as suddenly as it had begun. Aoba went pale as a sheet and his glasses slipped off his nose entirely to fall to the floor with a clatter.

"Or if you had a daughter, she could be like … her mother."

"Now, now, Aoba…" Ebisu gave an uneasy chuckle. "That wouldn't be a bad thing, now, would it? Every sort of woman has her own charm."

Aoba ignored him, looking dazed. "There could be two of them. Is it too late to transfer to Sand?"

While alcohol might not affect Kakashi's dexterity, it did make him more open. He frowned noticeably.

Genma cleared his throat. "Speaking of Sand, wasn't Sakura supposed to go there soon to start some sort of medical program? For six months, wasn't it?"

"Eight, actually." At this, Kakashi's features rearranged themselves into a smirk once more.

With a low whistle, Genma tossed his empty can at the wastebasket and missed. "So she's not going then. Wasn't it her idea in the first place? Bet she was pissed."

"Tsunade wasn't too pleased at the timing either." Kakashi looked for a minute at the abandoned ice pack that was currently melting onto the floorboards, but then shrugged and put his hands behind his head. "They'll get over it."

"Shouldn't she be just as happy as you?" Aoba snapped, shoving his sunglasses back on. "Timing can't be helped. You shouldn't let her walk all over you. In fact, I heard a genin whispering today about how she was seen literally dragging you through the streets. Is that true?"

Kakashi didn't answer, still lounging against the couch. Gai winced and Aoba noticed, giving it away. Gai tried to give Aoba a warning look – for whatever it might look like, Gai knew Kakashi and Sakura cared about each other deeply. Kakashi was a lazy sort of man who didn't appear to take much to heart, but Aoba was treading into dangerous territory.

"So that's the kind of reaction she gives you and you're here celebrating without her. Is she even going to keep it?"

Kakashi froze, the languor fleeing from his body all at once.

"Sakura would never do such a thing," Yamato said, thin lips downturned.

"That's not the point," Aoba insisted, slamming his drink on the table. "I would never let a woman treat me like that –"

"Why don't you find a kind, sweet woman like Hyuuga Hinata and let me worry about my wife?" Kakashi said, voice deceptively casual. "But as I recall, you don't seem to have much luck with those women. I can't say I'm surprised."

Aoba's scowl deepened. "I'm just concerned. No need to take jabs –"

Kakashi rolled his neck to crack it, limbs limp once more. "What jabs? I only mean to say that perhaps I'm not the one with problems relating to women."

Raidou snickered and punched a red-faced Aoba in the shoulder. "He's got you there… But seriously, Kakashi, Aoba's got a point too. You found out you were getting married by receiving an invitation in the mail – the same time as everyone else got one! You were invited to your own wedding. Doesn't that strike you as a little bit domineering?"

Despite his apparent laxness, Kakashi turned a steely gaze on them, his one visible eye blazing. "You say you're shinobi, but you're so shortsighted. All of you. Still chasing the tail that's in front of you, still living in the day because there's no tomorrow."

Genma shifted uncomfortably. "Hey, I think it's great that you two… It's nice, you know? To see it actually happen for someone – someone like us."

"Marriage is an honorable thing," Ebisu said, nodding sagely. "The fabric of society."

Gai looked at them in turn. Kakashi's expression was unusually frank, frustration clear, but the rest seemed a little perplexed. Gai related to them more than he liked to admit. The idea of love, and marriage, was very different from the reality of it. Now that he was older, even though war was hopefully at an end – at least the shinobi sort – Gai felt so far removed from the possibility. Very few from his generation had settled down, even in the relative peace time. Kakashi was lucky – not just to have found someone, but to have found it within himself.

"Marriage is just a piece of paper," Kakashi said. "Anyone can get married. You act like I'm so different now, like I've become something other than what I've always been."

Genma and Yamato exchanged glances, and Gai knew what they were thinking. Kakashi was different.

"I am different," Kakashi said, surprising Gai, "but not in the ways you think. I didn't ascend into some higher plane of being, but I'm not as shortsighted as you anymore. Haven't you learned by now that sometimes you have to lose the battle to win the war?"

They said nothing, looking askance at each other or down at their hands, unwilling to face Kakashi.

"Sakura and I … we're ninja. We're shinobi, and that will never leave us behind, even if the world has. So we make do. I told her she should retire when the baby comes –"

Aoba choked.

"You really are an idiot," Raidou grumbled, and Kakashi scowled.

"You still don't get it. We're shinobi. I wouldn't want her to be anything else, but with the art of distraction – anger is a tool. Now she'll probably never question why her birth control failed."

Gai felt his jaw drop and recognized the looks on his comrade's faces as shock.

Aoba looked at Kakashi in wonder. "You – you fool. If she finds out…"

Chortling weakly as he chewed on his cigar still, Yamato handed Kakashi another drink. "A reward for a dangerous mission well done."

Kakashi took it, suddenly cheerful, and took a swig. "You have no idea. Talk about S class."

"Aren't you taking some unnecessary risks with your life there, buddy?" Genma asked, eyeing Kakashi strangely.

Gai, though, was barely listening to them. His jaw had glued itself back together just to harden as he ground his molars.

"How could you – how could you risk it?"

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "She's my wife. She wouldn't actually kill me."

He paused thoughtfully, tracing the rim of his drink. "Well, probably, anyway. Like I said, sometimes you have to be willing to lose a battle to win the war."

"Not your life," Gai said, voice low, taking the doily off of his head and balling it in his fists. "Not your life. Something more important than that – your reasons for living it. You betrayed her trust."

Kakashi slammed to his feet, all pretense gone. "You don't love anyone unless it's safe, unless no one can criticize you, unless you have no choice."

The wind blew out of Gai's sails all at once. He cringed.

"I'll never fault you for it. Not any of you."

Gai looked up in surprise. The rage in Kakashi's face had faded.

"It's terrifying," he said, turning his back to them all. "It's fucking terrifying. So yes, I got invited to my own wedding. I needed that push then, and she was right to do it. But this … It was her turn for a push. It's not the same as loving someone who already exists. It's not. It's … more. More everything, but especially more terrifying. It's like that moment when your whole squad could die at the drop of a hat, but a hundred times over – all the time. And he's not even here yet."

"So why do it?" Genma wondered aloud. "I couldn't. I couldn't ever."

"She always said 'someday,'" Kakashi said. "The wars are over. Someday is now. She just needed a little reminder."

"It's a noble thing, to procreate for the benefit of all," Ebisu said, looking somber. "A noble thing indeed."

"Shut the fuck up about noble," Kakashi said, venom returning to his voice as his shoulders hunched. "It's not noble. It's selfish. But it's life. It's how you live it. And that … you still don't get it. None of you."

There was silence among the men, a silence they normally adopted only in the field when the moments of clarity and peril came hand in hand – rarely, now.

The quiet was interrupted with a turn of a key in the door.

Kakashi's hand shot up to scratch behind the knot of his headband. "Why, Sakura-chan, you're home early…"

Sakura dropped her many bags on the ground and slammed the door shut behind her. "Really, Kakashi? I've been gone for almost ten hours. Did you think I was shopping the whole time? You didn't wonder where your pregnant wife was, whether she collapsed in the store or had to take a break because she was tired with no one there to carry her bags for her?"

Ebisu tittered anxiously. "You have the pregnant glow they speak of, Sakura-san. You are radiance incarnate –"

"Can it, perv," Sakura snapped, not taking her eyes off of Kakashi to spare Ebisu a glance.

Kakashi only laughed. "You'd hate it if I tried to carry your bags for you."

"That's not the point!" She marched over to Yamato and yanked the still-burning cigar out of his mouth to chuck straight at Kakashi's head, though he caught it deftly. "You've trashed the house up and now I'll have to clean it, and you've been smoking these – these things –"

"You don't have to smoke them, though," Kakashi pointed out reasonably, unable to quell his smile.

"Even if I wanted to, I couldn't. It turns my stomach. Because I'm pregnant. But the new curtains still smell like shit because of them, don't they? I'll probably have to throw them out."

Kakashi's smile finally faltered and he put out the cigar in the ash tray. "Sorry. I didn't think of that."

She crossed her arms and looked off to the side, blinking rapidly. "Yeah, just like you didn't think of me today. It took so long because there was an emergency at the hospital. The new trainees on the Suna project just don't – there's five of them and three of them are useless. One spilled the latest additive all over himself and it burnt right through his clothes. While he was flailing about –" A hint of a sneer broke through her otherwise emotionless façade. "— he managed to destroy a good chunk of the samples. They've been set back at least a couple of weeks."

"So fire the useless ones. They only lost you – they don't need five –"

She scowled and it cut him off, but he chuckled instead. Her expression didn't change as he reached out and ruffled her hair.

"I see. Quite the busy bee, as usual. You'll adjust to having less to do for a while. It won't last long. Babies are a handful, I've heard."

Her expression softened as his hand rested on her head, but not into tenderness. "This is how it's always going to be, isn't it," she said, voice flat. "You'll be the fun one, and I'll be the disciplinarian – just like now, I'll come home and crash the party. Why did I expect that to change when it came to this?"

"Sakura-chan…" His palm slid down her head to her cheek. "You've got it all wrong. You … you three … you taught me what fun was."

Sakura sighed and put her hand over his. "Naruto, maybe. Not me."

"You most of all."

She stepped away from him, walking back to her bags to begin to gather them up. Kakashi scrambled to help her.

"Let me."

Though Sakura rolled her eyes, she did let him. "Such a gallant man you are."

"You should really try and keep me humble. Compliments go straight to my –"

Kakashi's speech broke as a small, soft blanket fell out of the bag he was grabbing. The fuzzy blanket was pink with little cherries embroidered on it.

"I hope she's just like you."

It startled Sakura out of a surreptitious yawn. "What?"

"Our daughter."

For the first time since entering her home, Sakura smiled, just a hint around her lips. "Guess the cat's out of the bag. Tsunade-shishou did another ultrasound after we patched up that moronic apprentice."

"I hope she's just like you," Kakashi repeated, clutching the blanket to his chest in wonder.

"Jeez…" Sakura blew her bangs up with a puff of air as she rolled her eyes again. "You really are drunk, aren't you? Let's get you to bed, old man, or you'll be a bear in the morning."

Gai didn't miss that her smile was true now, the gentle kind that this woman reserved only for her teammates, her husband – and now, he supposed, her daughter.

"But I was going to clean this up," Kakashi insisted. "Really."

Gai stood, his face almost painful from the earsplitting grin plastered to it. "Allow me, Sakura-san. And truly, I wish to congratulate you both – the three of you – from the bottom of my heart. We all do."

"I'll help as well," Yamato offered quickly, and the others were quick to voice their assent – even Aoba with a little squeak.

"Thanks, guys, but I really couldn't accept something like that –"

"It would be my honor," Gai said. "Any way I can be of assistance to you and your unborn child – any way at all –"

The beauty of it all swept him up again as tears began to swell in his eyes.

Kakashi groaned. "Just let him so he shuts up."

"Fine then," Sakura said with a shrug. "You'll find what you need under the sink."

As they were traipsing up the stairs, Sakura said, "If you ever tamper with my birth control again, I'll wear your testicles on a necklace. Got it?"

Kakashi chuckled sheepishly. "You knew, huh?"

"Of course I knew."

"But you took them anyway."

Sakura sighed. "I picked our anniversary, so it's only fair you get to pick when the time is right to have kids. I was just hoping it would take longer – until after this Suna operation, at least."

"Picking our anniversary is one way to put it."

"Well, now we're even. But sugar pills, Kakashi? Really? I'm a medical professional."

Kakashi's reply was too distant to hear as they closed the bedroom door behind them.

Raidou shook his head as he tied up a garbage bag. "I told you he's an idiot."

Genma and the others grumbled a bit, but Gai's grin never let up, even as he was scrubbing cigar ash out of the rug. He might have been acting as a maid to his lifelong rival, but Gai didn't think he'd lost. Kakashi may have it all – the reputation, the skills, the wife, the children – but he also had a competitive spirit, something Gai couldn't help but feel a part of. Kakashi exercised that competitive spirit frequently with his wife, and while it may seem to outsiders that she had the upper hand, Gai knew the truth. Sometimes you have to lose the battle to win the war.

When he was sure no one was looking, Gai gave his balls an appreciative little pat. At least they'd never end up as anyone's necklace.

A/N:This is actually over now. (Probably.) I enjoyed it while it lasted; hope you did too. Drop a line! Chapter 27 of Playing the Game up next week!